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just applied to become part of the metropolitan liberal elite, they said they'll be in touch within a week
How are Asian women SOOOO PENG?
going to get a golden retriever puppy eventually
An eshlad is an Australian chav more or less
For me it's being one of the oppressive Bourgeois.
what about the bogan (bogans?)
The gf is
allergic to fruit skins
allergic to certain seeds
horrendous hay fever
allergic to penicillin
Not sure she’s genetically worth having kids with tbf
allergic to fruit skins
How does she kiss you then
Aye don't blame ya lad
all me except I don't need glasses
Go Asian lads
kek, he's absolutely done you there mate
reckon you should have her put down desu
The future you chose
Game of Thrones is too full of itself now. Every second line of dialogue has to be some epic moment
spent too long on my post and got caught out by the early new thread again
this is why i root for the janny
they were lesser men tho
Game of Thrones
were being raided by the chinless yellow fever discord
ironic since that guy in pic had slanty eyes.
Soft Brexit, Hard Brexit
Massive pile of Sh*t
Sloppy Brexit, Messy Brexit
Quit, Quit, Quit
depressed that i cant get a job except through my dad
i wanted to be self-made, darnit
hell of a business idea, that
having your pet (or partner) painted into a famous work of art in the style of that artist
pop a few on reddit and watch the upvotes pour in, and with them: free advertising
is that you neville southall?
big bag of crisps in my car for later to cheer me up on a monday. might get a bag of cadbury giant buttons too for after
A bogan is an Australian redneck more or less
Although yeah there's a bit of an eshlad -> bogan crossover
Is there a more BASED and REDPILLED foodstuff than cashew nuts?
I don't get it are both the adults his missuses (missi) or is the one in the middle an eldest daughter or something
take every advantage you can
everybody else will, you're a sucker if you pass up an opportunity like that
t. missed the opportunity to work for my uncle
one in the middle has brown hair, so i assume she is the halfu daughter
wasn't like that in the early seasons
fucking british scanky tourists gtfo.
Lads my laptop is a piece of shit despite being okay, i5, 8gb, nothing on it
should i put an ssd in it? even using something like google maps is a struggle and a half
put an SSD in it and then ubuntu or some shit.
yeah that was worth posting on the International Cultures board
would like to live in another country but there is a 100% chance i would get drunk and do offensive impressions of their accent
replying to yourself
do a fresh install of windows it shouldn't be that slow even with an HDD
business idea: sequel to the uplifting Inside I'm Dancing but about me and titled Inside I'm Dying, and not very uplifting at all :(
I’ve tried everything
it’s been like this since I bought it desu . was about £700
so why didn't you send it back?
/brit/: The App
got kiddy porn on it
just assumed Windows laptops were all shit innit
if i ever met brits or aussies at a pub i think id feel like a literal autist
you guys are so well-spoken and witty its fascinating
you were ripped off unless the laptop is decade old ssds are mandotary
depends on the brand, who made it?
You artificially stunt the tree by cutting the tap root. Everything grows tiny
Me, personally? Believe this is immoral
do not cross me, or I WILL call you a racist on social media
give our prostate a tickle while you're up there, mate
not all of us
do you want to spend the rest of your days in a prison cell lad because that's where you're heading
you'd think this would conflict with their mental buddhist stuff wouldn't you
They come up with good quips, but they dont get mental sleight of hand
You can literally run laps around them if you know how to gaslight or manipulate people
y-yeah you too, l-lad
I believe in God. I love God. God knows if it's fake or if it's for real.
and they say germans aren't funny
It's a plant, I doubt it cares.
*hovers over the R key*
I'M GONNA FUCKING DO IT
nationalities are RPG classes
you yanks live in a fucking dream world
certainly not worse than circumcision
probably no worse than breeding those little toy dogs
can't be worse than chopping down millions of trees for wood and paper
and it does look cute
i'll take 4 please
thrones was shit
Yeah, unironically. I do believe it's immoral.
Who told you that trees don't feel? If I did the same with people I'd be Mengele.
You don't have the bollocks.
FUCK YOU MUM
FUCK YOU DAD
SCOTLAND RISES UP
Not saying it's worse, just saying it's at minimum equally as bad.
Blog on blogger
I want to take a tiny tree like this, plant some of it's seeds, then fertilise those trees with a big version while it watches.
If I did the same with people I'd be Mengele.
No you wouldn't, you'd be that guy from Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
cannot understand them
this isn't english
£10 says it's an American.
English man makes a generalization about yanks its fine
Yank makes generalization about englishmen
OI THESE FUCKING YANKS
Very atypical, its almost as if I can assume the response with almost invariably be in relation to something inline of "Yankness"
trees don't have a nervous system or brain it can't be hurt from it nor does it realise its growth is stunted
there's no chance it's equally bad as any of those things
i'd rather be turned into a midget than eaten
Nah its English
MANLETS ON SUICIDE WATCH
this post immediately after claiming somebody else is easily manipulated
It's a shame to take your money.
I feel it. I dont date women who's body is a certain way, especially if the chest is not in order or the arsehole is ruined.
A US man is suing his parents after they destroyed his massive pornography collection, which he claims was worth $29,000 (£22,139).
Ah yes, a tree nonce...
It is because you're intentionally and directly stunting the tree for ? it's arguably worse than doing it out of ignorance like say accidentally standing on a bug and ripping its legs off. You're intentionally crippling this tree which is a living thing that for all we know could feel (I believe this la)
that poor bloke
/brit/ is not an Instagram feed of your favourite Jow Forums posts
*hovers over the N key*
I'M GONNA FUCKING DO IT
It took you 5 minutes to come up with that
hnnnnng want azn wifey
bet you're brown
Shut the fuck up stupid yank manlet bastard
It says Englishman.
i unironically knew an party loving white girl who got blacked and knocked up when her religious parents sent her to do volunteer work in africa and the guy didn't want to stick around. this was years before the gimmicks emerged
can I get a few more artifacts on this jpeg please
too much, take it back
hello, I'm Anne Partylovingwhitegirl
listening to phil collins
Who is the girl?
Why do yanks have brain worms
told my therapist about /brit/, thailad, dave and catyank and she's booked me in for 3 more sessions this week
i like to think thailad keeps me on an even keel when i'm at my most neurotic
a man grabbed me on the tram today
Unironically embedded a message in this jpeg and if you can find it I'll send you 1k
got accused of being a woman beater in tesco express
just gave the gf a clip round the ear when she suggested we buy korma for tea instead of tikka masala, simple as
the TV writers are hacks and the dialogue from the first 4 seasons was more or less lifted from the books
What about me.
The lines of his face spell out the word coon
He's right though.
No. I'm serious btw
korma is well nicer than tikka masala
im ugly and i know it
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
paki cunt on the train opposite me
What did you tell her exactly about each
pet frog is thinking about pondering about doing a bit of the old acid lads how would he do it
How about you stop telling us what it ain't and start showing us what it am
Can see you in the reflection you fat bastard.
ripped my cushion celebrating when mo salah scored yesterday lads
uniornically think shitain should drop all tax rates to 0 and go singapore
Don't click this lads, it's a virus.
Wank to cuck porn all the time
I am basically Action Man in real life except instead of moulded plastic I have an 8 inch willy
Lenovo thinkpad e540
Action man is only like 12" tall though.
She was asking what i usually do during the day so i told her i like to post on online forums and she kept digging so I just broke and told her about /brit/ it's like a place where you can talk to online people from across the country and i even gave her a link to the most recent thread, she took a quick look at it and asked me if it was appropriate, then i told her about dave and catyank and other personalities like this travelling thai guy and it's mostly satire and she just looked at me like i was crazy
cuck porn is the end result of porn addiction
everyone who watches porn long enough will watch cuck porn eventually
Come down onto the carpet and say that mate I'll have your fucking face hanging off
thoughts on universal basic income?
assume it's given on top of existing state benefits, not some libertarian capitalist utopia. show your working
The Jews know this
meant pet rock haha
lads reply to my post please if you like
dont care virgin
do brits even go to pubs anymore? aren't clubs replacing pubs?
accurate unless you stick to lesbians and solo masturbation
I wonder if she'll become a regular poster.
*hits you with a broom*
It absolutely should, cut all but the most rudimentary regulations too
Do any of you lads actually want a paki gf? Like a nice cute and not inbred one
it's feasible now with AIs doing all the jobs for us
clubs are dying as well
The gf is quite temperamental at present
fast forward 20 years and we'll have cloned all the extinct animals anyway so who cares
that cat used to be my facebook profile picture
find me in da club
universal basic income
on top of existing state benefit
so literally what is the point of doing any work
alternative is mass poverty in the future.
Been pub crawling over the weekend 2bh
until that gets boring and they switch again. not an issue if you fap once per week like me
I think it makes sense.
The way I see it working is that it if someone is already receiving state benefits, they receive only the difference.
eg: if UBI is £1000/month and they get £800/month in food stamps, then they instead only receive £200/month in UBI. Or if they make £1300/month in welfare already, they get nothing from the UBI payments.
If you go to prison you do not get your UBI while in jail. This is good because it gives criminals hope that they can have a life outside of crime once they leave prison (since its normally almost impossible for them to get jobs), and also provides a disincentive for them to reoffend since if they get locked up they lose their UBI monies for the duration.
what's her disability
is it being american
Why do people put emphasis on who their god parents are
like no one cares
Hah don't worry lad I'll clone you.
it's good because it helps the dregs of society
Is telling yourself none of this really matters andit doesnt matter whether or not you enjoy life or not a massive cope or extremely redpilled?
Desperate to be colonised by the BB(rit)C.
depends on your reaction to it
love Jow Forums because i can get thoroughly bogpilled on my life which helps me make decisions
let's have a dance lads
I am the smartest man in /brit/
have become more left wing in recent months but i don't think i'll ever stop hating non-whites and fags
/brit/ is not an Instagram feed of your favourite twitter posts
why did you share this
did nig man kik ball
I bet she didn't pick that shirt out.
bizarre to act like it's not something incredibly sad when a child is born disabled, esp. if it's as bad as that
lmao dis bitch be like “glughhhh bluhhhh” ahahaha
I've become very leftwing since becoming a toilsman
Dont care if society falls apart over hairbrained ideas if it means i dont have to do as much toil and can kick back a bit more
dusty boomer hands typed this post
it costs £2000/month to keep someone in prison (more like £3000 in Scotland), its objectively better for literally everyone if prisoners dont reoffend
there is less crime
its even better for the criminal!
veterans who get deployed, hear one bomb go off too close to their head and then having to come straight away because they're deaf and mentally ill have done nothing heroic . they are victims not heroes
can think of very few things i care about less than tiger woods but then here i am listening to colleagues drone on about him all day
that doug guy is a very nice person to be honest
Thought Godparents was a Christian only thing
does a wiki
Only bit in jewish "godparents" (sometimes translated as such not the actual word) is the guy who holds the baby while he gets his willy snipped
Think she's lying.
how did he do it lads
Same but replace tiger woods with company's financial projections
I love staying in with a takeaway and a glass of prosecco and watching movies! #eatlovepray
arrest the lot of em
filthy resin-stained paws copied this one from their original post on reddit
1) hes racist
3) sexist comments
an all round unpleasant individual
And peremptory executions are even cheaper
nowt but a combination of hard-earnt £11.62 from begging and a small loan from his father of £250,000 i expect
did the man hit the ball with the stick
by being homeless therefore saving up enough money that would have otherwise gone to paying rent
they aren't actually
it costs the state almost $300m per execution in the US, because of all the lengthy legal battles to be fought and expensive facilities to be maintained
front page of the harrogate advertiser the other week was saying beggars were earning £300 a day
not sure how much i read into that though; the advertiser is a tory mouthpiece
Bought a lottery ticket.
Remember seeing a thing on the news when I was a teen saying Sydney's homeless make on average 50k a year from donations but reckon that's a bit disingenuous
Lmao tories desperately trying to avoid eu elections. Mad how it doesnt make an iota of difference to the public but they're trying to spin it so the public are the ones who dont want it
Except my job involves interacting & serving literal billionaires like the Saatchis so i’m even more left wing
sorry mate, just wrote it right now
i know it seems mental to you that anybody could write a coherent argument with some numbers behind it without copying it off reddit, but i assure you it is possible if you work hard in school and truly believe in yourself
business idea: walrus moustache
thanks for the reminder
That's why I say peremptorily, don't fuck around with all that shit keeping them on death row for 20 years then using an expensive injection, immediate firing squad and job done
it is possible if you work hard in school and truly believe in yourself
so is getting a job and not being a criminal
White women are the great Satan and must be expunged
Because they know shame and humility.
Asian women are women.
Black woman are men.
And white women are between becoming men and being women.
I say we throw 20% of the wrong type of whte women from highh buildings just to scare the other 80%
Then we dip the black ones in bread and egg and dip them in 11 herbs aand spices and then throw them into the oil.
And to give them hope to not die a horrible death we praise 1 or 2 perfect women who we control.
proto-gf is bragging about her many sexual encounters
why do they do this? do they think it enhances my opinion of them? it fills me with revulsion
she could be talking shit
i knew a girl who acted like a complete slut but turned out to be a virgin
rorke and leftypol sitting in a tree
Tories exploit people's inability to deal with statistics with their reptile brains.
It will cost 70 million to do X thats 70 million that could be spent on Y instead
throws a referendum for no reason that ends up decreasing gdp growth by 8% translating to tens of billions lost
finished my first therapy session, was basically 60 minutes of trying to find out whether i was raped or abused as a kid
no you're thinking of the film american beauty
That was an anime mate, you're confusing real life with chinese cartoons again.
what was the conclusion that you came to? was it rape or abuse?
yeah that was a plot point in that film
but this was real life
im not saying dont lock up people for the crimes they commit you retard
im just saying that its better to prevent them from reoffending than to keep locking them up over and over again
shes worried she is coming across too needy, she feels a bit insecure/nervous and is trying to downplay how into you she is
That butterface is hysterical. Mamma Mia...
I am five feet seven inches tall
fuck you beat me to it
never seen that one
it will cost 3 years of energy to whine to strangers on the internet about losing a vote, that's 3 years of energy that could be spent on getting a job
Landlords are now BANNED from evicting people when their tenancy ends
why would you pay for something you could figure out yourself?
She is seeing how much she can exploit you.
Had a manipulative gf who would say weird shit to gauge my reaction to see how much i could be exploited.
Eg to find out if i was a virgin she told me she was a virgin and then waited for me to say metoo. Then she told me she wasnt because i didnt say me too.
homealone going mental at this
I got two phones
One for the chan and one for the toil
wonder if i was getting raped in the arse i could clench my ringpiece so hard that it cut off his dick
and the way to prevent them from reoffending is to guarantee them a wage for life regardless of whether they turn themselves around at all?
literally what is to stop them just doing drugs every day and going on psychotic rages whenever they fancy?
don't worry user, you're smart and attractive, I know there's a great girl out there for you :)
one in the eye for rentberg
found out the slut I was chasing is a virgin. that's a no from me
moron, they just have to give more notice, and this is only if the tenant has done nothing wrong that would warrant an eviction.
Have one. Just do the minimal amount to get a decent performance review and apply for higher paying jobs elsewhere periodically to get more money
ah yes the wandering mind of the antipodean, very impressive
you are either a child or a pampered inheritance baby if you dont realise how little money £1000 is
If you were wondering this is a legitimate post from said Senator, yes
Give her to me.
im warning you rorke.
Anyone who earns under £19,000 a year should be liquidated and turned into dog food
brought to you by ms paint
so why even have it then
Anyone who earns over £19,002 a year should be liquidated and turned into dog food
honestly didn't get the virgin gf meme until I got a not virgin gf now and it is kind of bothering me
halfway done with my essay lads!
where have all the nice girls gone
dont want a slag
dont want a weirdo
just want a normal girl
Can I meet Mr Paint? haha
make it 30
Well you do actually want a weirdo, because you yourself are a weirdo
But an organisation representing tenants said the plans were "a vital first step to ending profiteering from housing".
They do realise no one will rent out if they can't profit don't they?
going to vote green lads
4 day working week
The enviroment and that
imagine having a gf that some other lad has dug his wang around in GRIM GRIM GRIM
imagine being this insecure
Good then they'll sell and people will have homes again and property empires will be no-more.
thought this said insincere at first
I left Berlin after getting too drunk with some Israelis and doing the salute
Would love a New Zealand-style coalition of labour, greens and ukip here to btfo toilberg, climateberg and wogberg in one fell swoop
well it didn't
renting is an abomination but not because of how landlords treat their tenants
the problem is they buy a house in an otherwise nice area, let utter trash humans live there and tank the value of the entire neighbourhood
yeah thats why i said 'at first', noting the error in my reading
Your fucking your gf and you realise than some dirty old chav before you has SEEDED her and used her before you have, she's sloppy seconds mate
voting liberal democrats (australian, not clegg land) because I believe in individual choice
This, but unironically
imagine finding out the girl you're feeding has been formerly seeded and chucked
for the senate I'm assuming
its a supplement to income, not a replacement
the point isnt to make it so nobody works, but rather to give everyone a little bit of breathing room to make it so that you can live off a shitty entry-level job without having to work 3 jobs at once, or you can start saving for your pension early, etc
Individual choice in what?
yeah fuck off you povvo cunt we earned these houses
yes, got no lib dems running in my seat
really really like silly foreign accents on girls
Your post is better, Mr. Meredith, so much better, but wrong, sadly wrong.
You lads realise the amount of immigrants coming to live in the uk is really small right?
Vast majority of immigrants these days are students the vast majority of whom fail to get jobs after graduating.
fuckin hate fat women lads
so it's literally "wahh I want more money" then
ms piggy tatooed on her leg
everything, statist runt
<--- do you like this cat
yeah nice one
I always personally rented in inner city ghettos
snucked 'n' cheeded
yeah fair enough, senate vote actually makes a difference
not a huge fan of voting for minor parties in the lower-house, me
students the vast majority of whom fail to get jobs after graduating.
finally, they're acting like British citizens
NA NA NA NA NA NONCE
all the people i date keep getting deported after their student visas expire
wtf i hate borders now
This is cp
don't care, too many pakis
*dabs on seething boomers*
Just wait till you see what we do with your brexit old man.
hey maybe if we didn't flood the country with immigrants we wouldn't have people working 3 shitty jobs just to make ends meet
most people think the problem is with the ones already here
britain was doomed the moment thatcher left office
The Great Khan and his army of Ten-Thousand Steppe horses arrive on the outskirts of your city and demand a sum of 500 gold pieces and 50 of your finest maidens, if you refuse he will burn your city down to ash, How do you respond?
Happened to me too
Main reason im pro immigration 2bh
just marry them all
Just wait till you see what we do with your brexit old man.
YE'LL DO NUTTN
literally so souf he lives in the soufern hemisphere
Piss off tarq
I don't oft consider what happens if you date someone on a visa
Cant do much about them though.
Closing the borders wont stop a pakistani whose grandparents came in the 50s will it?
give him the maidens but make sure a handful of them are infected with bubonic plague beforehand
very cheeky lad
no you idiot
the point is that there aren't really enough full-time jobs to go around at the moment. people are having to work 2 or 3 part-time jobs at once because there simply is no space for everyone to have a proper careerist job
by giving everyone a UBI it means that instead of working 3 jobs at once, Muhammed can instead work just 1 or 2, which frees up another job so that Ahmed can work it instead, reducing the number of people who fully unemplyed acting like total leeches and not contributing to the country
unemployed people are unhappier, commit more crime, die earlier, and smell bad. UBI is a great way to reduce the number of unemployed
all women should be arrested
wait brits actually do this? thought it was jokes
i wouldn't touch a foreign girl with a 10 foot pole.
not a racist though
No we need a nationwide pogrom of all non whites and a complete and total ban on immigration
i wouldn't touch a foreign girl with a 10 foot pole.
Only because they carry 20 foot poles to keep you away.
coming to accept that I am now in fact past my prime
why yes i do exclusively date international students
Flip the glass
Ah we meet again rorke,
Your skills have been honed since our last encounter but can you withstand this..
*throttles you with my lightsaber*
switching to toilmode lads
see you all again friday
enjoy your week
i'm hot as fuck (and based)
hi I don't normally do this but: blog on
You never had one
just bought this sick pack of the ol 'onuts lads
you've waited a year to post this again haven't you
Hello N...my friend
Why don't you get a job?
TARQUINS got a job
Just about on the line, welp
Anyone who makes a post after this one is a faggot
Waiting for this to happen lol
Doesn't change my opinion of the system though, she would be taking up a fancy job here that someone else could have
Two of the posts after this mark are mine
Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.
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