/brit/

did you know that the plural of moose is meese

mental innit

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you make some brilliant posts mate I must admit

Janny stole my yous

This can't be true

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quite rate rosie's arse in latex desu

twitter.com/ChelseaFindom97/status/1115709290730401793
twitter.com/ChelseaFindom97/status/1115709290730401793

>legalise drugs, people should be able to make their own decisions!
>restrict gambling, people can't control their actions!
The dichotomy of leftypol

>BT Sport
Get this for free using someone elses log-in details without them knowing.

the plural of Octopus is Octopieces

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>that response below
Deary me

This shit is so grim man

don't care for latex, me
doesn't show enough while simultaneously not leaving much up to the imagination

Wanna watch on my TV though

the US system of having designated degeneracy zones like Las Vegas is perfect imo.

remember when she was a communist lmao

>Bargain at only 46.50 a month!

i'd fight for israel if i got a jewish wife out of it desu

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>bbc femdom lover
proper grim

Oh my DAYS

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you know what would be hilarious? you deluding yourself into thinking you can quit and then relapsing for the 1000th time. #haha #youtried #findom

how do you know it's me?

Getting slightly sick of constantly showering, washing dishes, hoovering, cleaning up clutter, blah blah blah. You just have to do it again later.

SHOULDERS TOES TO KNEES I'M THIRTY SIX DEGREES
youtube.com/watch?v=PBxuq_eWW94
most brit/french/lux band ever?

BASED

Hang on to your money people, it's going to get rough. The Coalition is to blame 100% for having tanked our economy, but I guess that is what the best economic managers do........
Austerity measures are coming, well not for them and their donating mates, they will make a motza still

Reckon if you killed everybody who has ever been to Glastonbury you would solve most of this country's problems in one go. Not all of them, but most.

cope he probably had a shit jaw

Can't stand smug bastards gliding scissors through paper in one smooth motion. There's a hinge for a reason you arrogant fucking cunt, use it

youtube.com/watch?v=Xa1qO258MEE
What a tune lads

you’ve got a witty charm to your posts, often identified by overly-descriptive actions that add imagery

ACTIVITY IS KILLING THE ACTOR
- Diderot

youtube.com/watch?v=Dgv7bngXe5Y

same

Nice. Who is he?

Back in action

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Goblinesque AF

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I usually try and start off going ksht kshmt kshpt but as soon as my arm gets a certain distance away from my side the scissors go ksssssssssssss on their own

多謝你在 Apple Store 購物

Could well be me when I'm not a-posting on the phone

I'd guess it's @ChelseaFindom97 on twitter

wonder if she felt like shit when she realised she couldn't market herself as a teen anymore

boris shitting it

Absolute retard buying some sweaty chink earpods

xiexie

fair cop but yeah it does sound like you're describing josie as well tbf

Normal price is over 60 quid

Elmer Fudd
Elmer is of course short for the Anglo-Saxon name Aethelmaer.
Hunting wabbits is Anglo tradition

mums just had a breakdown and kicked me out, how does a 4 year NEET get a job im fucked

sajid shitting himself

got offered a new job today

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Need to do 9 hours worth of work tomorrow that would've been done by 2 people and I need to do it in less than 5 hours. Why is it I need to toil so hard? So I can leave early and go to a second toil interview. Slavery.

Finished my road trip
Drove 500 miles yesterday wahey

Time to create a profile on adultwork, make sure you're available to men x

IT'S TOO FUCKING HOT

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Cheaper in HK than London mate :)

hahahahahahahah get fucked unemployed scum

Thinking of quitting mine. Might wait until you get one to maintain the world's equilibrium

With anger because he didn't get invited to meet Trump and more than a few of his Tory colleagues probably told him directly "no chance we'll have a Muslim PM" during this elections.

Man up

t. HMRC

good plan
god closes one door and a new one opens

found out from the mrs that a couple we're friends with watch porn together haha
pressed her for details but all she relented was they like "cleaning porn" whatever that is hahaha
might chuck a wet wipe at matey when I next see him and tell him not to spunk his pants

Out of order. Never speak to her again

Just search for 'Boris' on the Guardian and read some of the articles they are fucking hilarious. One of them is about a former boss of his saying he doesn't support boris but the first two paragraphs are the writer comparing Boris Johnson's campaign to the events leading up to World War 1. If The Guardian is shitting it, then we know he's the good guy.

>the Cambridge historian Christopher Clark published a study of the outbreak of the first world war, titled The Sleepwalkers. Though Clark is a fine scholar, I was unconvinced by his title, which suggested that the great powers stumbled mindlessly to disaster. On the contrary, the maddest aspect of 1914 was that each belligerent government convinced itself that it was acting rationally.
>It would be fanciful to liken the ascent of Boris Johnson to the outbreak of global war, but similar forces are in play. There is room for debate about whether he is a scoundrel or mere rogue, but not much about his moral bankruptcy, rooted in a contempt for truth. Nonetheless, even before the Conservative national membership cheers him in as our prime minister – denied the option of Nigel Farage, whom some polls suggest they would prefer – Tory MPs have thronged to do just that.

I have to say Turt lad, you would unironically be a chad if you weren't a manlet. Nice fit

every girl here in Greece is an 8/10 minimum

Ah cud use dat

don't have a chad brain even if I was 6'4 pure and simple

Throw my burners inside of the bush so I don't get caught
Get the fuck from round me fore I cock my hammer, unload the Glock
Coming out the Benz, steadily moving weight cause the hustle don't stop
I'm coming to win and all of my niggas be gunning , shooting for the top
Inside of the cocaine bimmer pushing it up yo lane

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Fun fact: because of a form of reverse-telegony in which cultures of the vagina are absorbed through the urethra and sensitive skin of the glans on a man's penis and end up in the prostate, antibodies that are strongly linked to the X chromosome and thus are more prevalent in the two X chromosomes of females end up being introduced into a male's immune system. These antibodies are almost never inherited by male offspring because it's incredibly unlikely for one X chromosome to carry. Being deficient in these antibodies is strongly linked to defectively high DHS sensitivity which leads to slower metabolism and weight gain, lethargy, premature balding, erectile dysfunction, and depression. A male fornicating with a female acts as a veritable inoculation. Here's the tricky part, though: your body brain and body stops developing around the age of 25 and thereafter your body and brain chemistry becomes incredibly unreceptive to the benefits. Rarely will a man who loses his virginity after the age of 25 experience any sort of change whatsoever.

If you don't have sex by about the age of 25 but preferably much sooner in your teens, it's pretty much over for you already. This is why fathers used to take their teen sons to prostitutes. Society and science didn't know precisely, on a medical level, why it would make a difference, they were just trying to help their son's build character. Little did they know how harrowingly right they were.

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drinking a coffee and eating a stroopwafel

Game Theory wasn't understood back then. Typical of The Guardian to have a complete lack of mathematical knowledge. It's why they know fuck all about the economy too

>umm, your tax dollars should go to environmental causes while mine go on craft beer xthxbye

Sick niglets
Digging piglets
Wig jig Figwits
Praying for Nigwits
Ding digga diglets
Wig wag weglat

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Omegas rise up

spartacus is shit

*even if I were
You aren't 6'4 so you are describing a hypothetical situation. Hypothetical situations require the subjunctive mood

>aussie has to start every thankyou with an x

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You don't need one and I'm sure you do alright now but you would have countless insta art hoes sucking you off

SQUEALING

twitter.com/ChelseaFindom97/status/1111022012502290432
twitter.com/ChelseaFindom97/status/1111022012502290432

for those wondering, yes I have replaced "the fiancée" with "the mrs" - just seems a bit more ambiguous and draws less virginous bile than "the wife"

what about the *whistles and looks down at your crotch*

Don’t be so fucking cheeky or I’ll smack the lip out of you

Orange Juice
Squeezed Fresh Daily
by
ROD'S
Fruit & Veg

ingredients:
100% australian oranges

The second language English post

He was too good for /brit/. Truly don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.

only 30 people in my first year uni course

Stop posting this vile cunt it's making me despise women
How low can you be

Oh will you just blog the FUCK on Runtingdonshite for FUCK'S sake

Literally everyone in this job has told me to find a new job and that they all want to quit soon. Been here for a month and apparently already need to be looking for a new job.

would love to but that's basically the long and short of the matter
feel free to like and subscribe and leave a comment with your feedback, it really helps me out x

Does this explain butch lesbians

*virginal nasally gimp voice*
>Hypothetical situations require the subjunctive mood

Remember when whores got reported to the IRS? ahh...cracksip