My girlfriend tells me she loves me everyday, cooks for me, is attractive, doesn't ask me to pay for anything, tells me she wants to marry me in the future, yet part of me wants to leave. I feel guilty for wanting that. I just miss being free (not even referring to hooking up with other girls), maybe travelling for a while on my own, being able to fully focus on uni, business and health. The other part of me knows that I will likely not find another girl like this (I was a virgin before her, couldn't get any girls besides an occasional makeout). Also, she is so attached to me, I couldn't even bring myself to break up. Don't get me wrong, I love her, and I'm not saying I want to break up with her, but I've having these thoughts for close to half a year already (been dating for a year). I don't know who to talk to, so I talk to biz. Guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
My girlfriend tells me she loves me everyday, cooks for me, is attractive, doesn't ask me to pay for anything...
...
A bit too politically correct
fuck outta here
strangle her, obviously
Fuck a whore and get herpes. Then fuck your girlfriend and give her herpes, leave her before she finds out she has herpes. Go live your life for 5 years and then go back to her and marry her since she won't find another guy who will want her
where would you travel alone and what would you do? as long as you aren't a sex-tourist i don't see why you can't take a trip alone and still keep your girlfriend. and the truth is you can focus on your school/work and still keep her as well you just don't want to put in the effort.
In that case I recommend a murder-suicide.
Btw you are right you won't find another girl like her because you sound like a completely boring faggot.
spoken like a true NPC. when your mind is limited you can't see the difference because there's a theoretical maximum for any activity; hence managing gf + school/work makes sense to you (wagecuck mentality). OP has higher abilities and wishes he had the freedom to truly pursue something 100%
I had the same thing user. My gf was lovely, thick, pretty, cooked for me, wanted sex all the time, tells me she loves me etc.
I want freedom. Guys like you are me aren't meant to be held down. Either tell your girl you want freedom and she needs to accept that. Or leave her.
Me personally, I couldn't break up with m gf either. So I just let the relationship slowly fall apart. I'm gladly and happily single again with no harsh feelings against my ex.
here's something to mess with your head. she's that attached to you because she senses you aren't attached to her. if you were to decide to stay and began giving vibes of committment, then she'll change. she'll be the one wanting to go see the world, "not even for sex, man."
>love is either masochistic or sadistic. always.
>I want to be alone 24/7
>my gf has separation anxiety like a poorly raised chihuahua
fuck you retard
This, you sound like a boring nobody OP. Odds are she is pretty lame and low IQ too. It doesn't matter what you do OP, you both are losers. Hope I wasn't too harsh you idiot, but it's most likely true.
I assume you are young (early 20s). I’m 31 and let me tell you one thing about relationships. When you start getting old, you go into compromise of telling yourself that she is good enough. High expectations are gone, you find a balance between love, personal space, doing things together and spending time with your friends. Right now you might feel like you want to travel alone and when you are in a relationship it’s not possible. It is possible. Tell her you want to fuck off for 6 months alone. I’m pretty sure she will be ok with it. If you want to concentrate professionally or on your health, you can ask for more personal space. These things don’t mean you don’t love her or you want to fuck other women and if you communicate clearly, it should be no problem. If you break up, you’ll find other women, you will forget about her, you will settle down with someone else who is good ebough. It all depends on if you want to keep her in your life or not.
yeah he's gonna pursue masterbating to cartoons 100%
you type like a weak man
50 year old dad here.
Based on my years of experience, I can tell you unequivocally that eventually you're gonna fuck up and she's going to have enough and leave. After a week or so you're going to start looking at your phone, start moping around and wonder how it happened and after a few bad dates (who don't even compare to your current girl) you're gonna realize you fucked up royally and NO other girl will ever satisfy you the way she does.
Don't expect better...its not out there.
this
Do you have a hot daughter?
And does she fuck a lot of guys?
typical Boomer, OP isn't even happy which invalidates your argument
Also do you cheat on your wife?
If you break up with her soon you will realise just how fucking RARE a good girl like that is but by that point she would have already hooked up with (multiple) more exciting,attractive and all round better guys than you, leaving you with lots of pain for the rest of your life.
Enjoy.
This
op doesn't know or has forgotten what unhapiness is.
Bullshit Op has just gotten used to and takes for granted a good,healthy relationship. He has tricked himself into thinking that he will be not just as good but better if he wasn't attached.
Real Jow Forums advice.
Maybe less S O Y in your diet would be a great start wrt not posting non business related blogs on Jow Forums.
unironically this
>he fell for the happiness meme
are you me? having exactly the same thoughts sometimes. but im nearly 4 years together with my gf
nice trips.
I, however, recommend skipping the murder and going directly to the suicide.
a home office saved my marriage, once that door is closed and im 'working' it never opens.
OP here. thanks for everyone's input. I'm usually studying all day. After not seeing my gf for almost the entire day, it feels bad to go to friends or something, this has caused me to hardly see my friends anymore. My life is currently gym, study, explore some business ideas, spend time with gf, and sleep. Ideally it would be something like study, gym, more time exploring business ideas, spend time with friends, go out every now and then, spend time with gf. But this would mean not seeing my gf everyday, which would hurt her.
as you grow older and begin to build your own nest, you naturally grow distant from most of your friends. one or two will remain, and you'll see them rarely, but its all par for the course. it'll happen to your friends, too. they won't have time for your single dumbass once they have their nests. it happens to everybody.
you could move in together to solve that issue
>Also, she is so attached to me
this won't last. I had the same thing, telling me how she was going to marry me and loved me more than the world etc. she eventually called off the wedding to "find herself" because she felt like she didn't know who she was without me. lmfao
do yourself a favor and do what YOU want. don't stick with something that you don't want to do because you think you know the future (that she will be like this forever). you don't, and she won't
How long did it last for you? Because it has been like this for a year.
Hey man been through hell and heaven as well. It seems from what you are writing you are young.
The more you spend time with your girlfriend the more this feeling gets. I wasnt the person who had these feelings like you are, but i was the other side. Had the same stuff like you had but on the opposite side. You see what will probably happen (if you dont fix your mind up) is that your gf is going to dump you. I did it. The sad part is that you will be crawling back to her once you realize how fucking hard it is to find the perfect partner. There is no perfect person waiting you out there. You are young and only 1 year together. It gets harder and harder the more you spend time with her. Best bet here is to break up and see what happens or put more effort into your relationship.
I can say already a mile away that you are dumb and think with your youngling brain, but honestly the older you get the more stability and peace you want. You might get these feelings right now, but there are always solution. Live separately, have your own room that closes and doesnt open for a week. Talk to each other occasionally but it doesnt need to be fucking clingy. The interesting part here is that if you somehow manage to fix this problem of yours, your relationship will be stronger. Due note that everyone has their limit and so does your girlfriend. When i dumped my girlfriend she was banging the door 1 week later, crying, calling like a psycho. You will probs do the same.
IDIOT. Marry her get kids and enjoy life man!
So she's ugly
OP, I don't even want to hang with my 'friends'...i left on Friday night around 8...They called me when i got home but i could not be asked to go out drinkin...i am old now, 35. Fucked if i can be asked to listen to some GF & her mindless shite. Keep your freedom!
t. wizard
I'm 21 she's 23. This is an additional downside for me because if we want kids (which she surely wants, I probably do too) it will have to be before she is about 30, meaning I will be 27 (at the latest). My biggest fear is having children wihtout having accomplished some of my dreams and end up resenting them for it.
28* brainfart
Get her on the same page as you are so that your goals are aligned with hers. Otherwise you have to find a girl that has the same stuff in common with you and want the same stuff in life regarding travel, uni, business and health.
I'm 31 and still trying to find that girl and threw out a bunch of roasties that don't fit the bill. I never settle until she is the one.
If u r around 20-22 years go for solo travelling. The. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ive travelled around the world almost for two years. That was so fuckin awsome (was working while traveling: ski/windsurf chad-instructor here).
Ive even almost fucked a trap in bangkok (set up for coach surfing accommodation, arrived, fuck she is a TRAP, lolololooo wuuuut to do? We did nothing. Wasnt into traps back then. Now I would fuck her hard xdxdx). This were the very best and life changing years in my life.
If u even think about it, just do it.
If u wont u will end up as a boring NPC cunt
How fat is she? Post pics
several years
also this is spot fucking on. that's exactly what happened to me. once I was the committed one the power balance shifted and suddenly she was the one that needed to find herself and see the world. just skip that terrible process and cut the cord. otherwise you'll end up in the same situation (free), except you'll be the one getting left after wasting a few more years not doing what you really want. so don't waste those years. do what you want now for yourself and don't hold back because of some hypothetical future in which this girl doesn't ever change
>older woman
Leave her leave her leave her right now, get out user escape ASAP.
Older women are only for fun in flings with milfs when you are young. You do not start relationships with them.
user where you are in your prime as an absolute wealthy chad at age 38, who has the life experience to pull any stacey he wants, you are going to be married to a dried up 40 year old mother.
Hey man happy to help!
It really depends what you want in life. Relationships DONT have to be the classical lets spend time together 24/7 and be cuddly etc. Relationships are more like friendships but with trust. If you have a friendship with someone then you can or cant do stuff what ever you like. Being in a relationship is like level 2. You kiss, touch each other, have sex, cuddle but more important have trust. If there is no trust in a relationship then its friendship.
That being said you dont have to have a clingy relationship. You can have your own time and she hers. It needs to be settled when and what. You DONT have to have kids before 30 if she agrees. You need to find a compromise. Is she ugly? Get her into the gym. Fix the relationship. Thats whats boring and fucked up in this world is that people dont want to fix relationships anymore. Its sad. Ive seen 5 peoples lives get destroyed and they are just sad, unhappy, angry all the time. If a problem arises in a relationship they just dump it and find another one. Unironically those are the people who have drinking problems, look slutty, unintelligent etc. They actually crave people who have good relationships but they just dont admit it.
I told you mate, you are going to regret this. If she is fat or ugly, fix it. Fucking push her on the treadmill. If she is clingy, fucking say it. Be the leader of the relationship. Be firm. If you believe you want to be single then fucking be. Dont waste her time. Thats the asshole move. She could make someone happy in life and you are being a total dick about it. That shows immaturity actually. That shows you are a dumb person. You need to understand do you want her or not. But do note this, if you have had a good relationship, then odds are you might never find one like that or you will settle with something shitty and continue swapping partners. We are all going to die anyways so dont expect anything to last forever.
Ive fucked a girl and had a blowjob in this park in china. Since than I bang girls on scenic points;D last time ive fucked a girl at australian coast. Damn that was ludacris, can swear ive seen jumping dolphins lol
>not having kids before your wife turns 30
It’s like you want your children to be autistic
Women pick up on that shit. Tell her how you feel without the leaving her part. Let her get mad for a day worst case. You'll resent her less for not knowing how you feel and you can make your decision properly.
Dude did i say i advocate this? Damn this board is fucking dumb as hell. I said if you dont want to have kids before 30 you dont. Big fucking deal. Who cares about what society thinks. Yes i also think that getting kids at 25-27 is normal bcs then you have time for yourself after they grow up.
Thank you. Lots to think about. I wish I met her a bit later in life, but oh well. I will start being more honest about certain things.
First part is right, she will pick up on it, but terrible advice.
If you don’t love her she will feel it consciously or unconsciously, and sooner or later she will leave with someone who actually cares.
I was in a similar situation to you, OP, and this was what happened.
Find out whether you really want her or not, but don’t drag it out. It will eat you both alive.
Being single can be nice and all IF you are attractive, but you will never find anything close to that first innocent love.
Yeah just you need to be the person to understand what you want. Dont get me wrong the break-up is going to be a fucking nasty one. She will totes go crazy on you. Expect shit to be flown.
That being said if you truly believe this is just a fling then say it to her. "Hey lets meet up 4x per week and 3x per week do our own stuff". The risk here is though that she might find another man. I had the same situation where i was actually starting to talk to another interesting woman. Shit man my gf went totally cray cray on it. I dont know why people have these feelings. I've just accepted that love is just a thing that can or cant last. I want to believe there is such a thing like love but obviously it can all change so fast.
The mature thing here is to enjoy that time you have with her and make a firm decision. I want to be with her and fix this by having OUR relationship or i want to go solo and let her make someone else happy. Dont be that 50:50 guy because odds are your relationship is going to take a very weird turn of you not spending time with her and believe me, she will fuck another dude while being with you. Then you get angry and sad and its going to fuck up you as well KEK. Then you try to fix shit but it feels weird from that point on etc. You will have more peace if you make a decision because expect a lot of shitty scenarios happening if you choose to be the 50:50 guy.
leave her you thick cunt
Your thoughts are normal but you should stick with it. Once you're working you can leave your work at the workplace unlike with school where you're constantly carrying it around. Save and plan toward financial independence and you will one day enjoy all the freedom in the world with your girlfriend.
OP you don't click with your current girlfriend. I had the exact same situation you did and same feelings. Tell me, when you talk for a long time is the conversation flowing easily? Or does it sometimes feel forced, like you jut have to say something?
I don't think you're a good match even though logically she seems perfect. When you find the right girl, the conversation will flow so easily and your personalities will match so well that you both will want to spend every second together. You will not have these feelings with the right girl
From the perspective of the woman, this is the most optimal dynamic. The one that she actually wants. You barely give a shit, and she has to make effort to reel you in.
What kind of woman would you prefer to be with OP?
This is the worst part of 'making it', I don't need a job anymore so I hang out at a cafe I co-opened til maybe 3pm, then I'm free to hang out and all my friends are fucking busy with women and work etc. It's so fucking shit, I just end up going back to my place and drinking alone. Genuinely think I'm gonna blow my brains out when I hit 30 because I can't handle the isolation anymore.
That or I need to become friends with some younger degenerate losers who want to party all the time. I have NO hobbies and no interests, I hate travelling, all I want to do is hang out with my bros and smoke cigarettes. Someone please tell me there is a solution? Sitting on about 400k in my bank account, flat paid off in the UK (so no property tax), I just wish there was a tinder for friends.
Glad to see there are still some real Jow Forumsraelis left. Based
My gf moved to NYC 2 months ago and I'm about to break up with her over facetime.
Became suspicious after decreasing chats this month and then she cancelled last minute on me visiting. Found her tinder last week after I changed my location to there.
Long distance bullshit never works I guess. The thing that hurts the most is that it's literally only been a couple months apart.
28 year old loser here lol, reminder to always stay chad and never develop feels for these roasties.
Fucked over 50 women at this point and I'm pretty sure she could have been the one.
But she'd rather ride the carousel and let NYC devour her. Can't blame her I guess.
Sucks mate. Im a firm believer that long distance relationships dont work out. Ive never seen one that actually worked. Its always the classical "One side decides to go out and have a good time" and fucks it up. Best chances is just to take a break for the long-distance relationship time and go back together while forgetting everything what happened during that time. IMO thats the only way it CAN again work, but alas the other possibility is that you both find your own path and continue that while never contacting again. Maybe a coffee and just talk about your fabolous life.
NYC fag here. Im fucking your gf. And if it's not me, it's Tyrone, and Juan, and Pedro, and 4 million other men. You're such a classic case of girl from small town moves to big city and starts cheating immediately. Almost as common as Innocent girl goes away to party college and starts cheating.
NYC turns women into whores because there's so many strangers that nobody passes judgment.
"City of sin, it's a pity on the whim
Good girls gone bad, the city's filled with them
Mommy took a bus trip, now she got her bust out
Everybody ride her, just like a bus route"
JayZ knows what he's talking about.
>what you should do
Dump her
>what you will do
Drags things along for years, maybe marry her, then slowly start to resent the shit out of her for wasting your prime years in a relationship you don't want to be in. All because you're too scared to be single. Enjoy your life of regret user.
I live in NYC give me her number
no. either go bald, grow a ponytail and start hitting the clubs, or join the rest of humanity and build your nest and be happy with 2-3 good friends you oogle women with.
Haha yeah she finally texted me to talk today and she mentioned that exact "i'm finally meeting cool friends and going out!" thing
Funny enough the same thing has happened in my past. I've moved to San Francisco, Boston, and a few places and same thing happens but I was on the other side, having to break off relationships.
The thing is I always broke it off before "cheating."
But women are cunts
O trust me I know. Brooklyn is evil.
When I swiped my Tinder there I actually really just realized that she was nothing special and I was settling for an idea of this girl. There's so many hot girls in the world lol
>when you talk for a long time is the conversation flowing easily? Or does it sometimes feel forced, like you jut have to say something?
It's like that all the time, actually. Then again, I'm not a very good talker in general.
In the future I will have a significant other and I will spend 60% of my time in my life working
But I don't want a nest, and I don't want to be living with a woman. I sometimes crave the affection but for maybe one month out of a year, also I don't think I'll go bald, brother/father/uncles all had great hair til their 40s. I'm only 24 now but ALREADY my closest friend is living with his gf, and my second closest friend is working for some bank so he's always busy and then he goes skiing every winter holiday with his sisters so that seriously cuts into time.
I'm not a boring person, I've learned three languages in my free time, I read at least 3 classic books a month, I already go to the gym 5x a week, but that still leaves me free every evening wednesday to friday. I don't have the attention span for vidya, so I've just been filling it with Jow Forums shitposting but I'm starting to crack not gonna lie.
>doesn't have the attention span for video games
>reads whole books
As for strategy, should I even bother bringing up the Tinder thing? Is it even worth it to see if she admits to something like cheating? Should I just break up with her right away. I'm kind of weirded out by doing this over the phone/facetime. Never done that before.
Nah M8, you are a good talker with the right person. You know how I knew your conversation doesnt flow? I see the symptoms. I've been through this. You're in an identical situation to what I was in.
She's not right for you. You will know when you find the right one because it is a night and day difference. You'll just know. You will want to spend every second with here, I'm telling you.
The risk, of course, is that you break up with her and don't find that perfect one you click with. I was lucky. But, if you marry this one, it doesn't get better than what you have now. Your feelings towards her will never change.
Dude if you or her cheats in a relationship fucking end it. Its a miserable shitty relationship which clearly shows you are not meant to be together.
Man i truly believe you are a good person in IRL and think of a girl who could make you happy. There are girls out there who would say shit like "Fuck NYC i want to be with you and together, fuck it, i aint going". That already shows something that she is willing to do such shitty things. You fucking deserve better bro...
You know you don't deserve her. The answer is to become a man worthy of her. Now buy some goddamned stinky linkies.
>whole system about to crash and burn
>"muh gf is too good!"
>bunch of fags giving cheap magazine advice
this is why you will never make it,/biz
I wouldn't even bring it up. It won't solve it. It won't keep the relationship afloat. No point in accusing her of anything, you know what's up. I know what's up. She knows what's up. She is letting the relationship fall apart because she wants to be single right now. No point in forcing it. I'd just make it a quiet peaceful amicable breakup. I'm sure she will be relieved, and it will be on good terms. I'd just cite the distance (both physically and emotionally) and saying she should do her own thing.
Then give me her number so I can lay pipe and confirm if she was faithful or not
Send her a superlike and never talk to her again.
Damn OP in the same boat. Same boat. Inalways wonder if other people felt the same. We are not that couple that goes out together with friends like most I know. I like to do my own thing outside and spend time with her inside. Still trying to find my balance
This.
Fellow 30 year old here.
Is there a reason (other than being a faggot) you can't have both things you want. Think long and hard about everything you want and your ideal situation and why you feel these things. Address the emotion behind the urge and not the urge itself. Then talk to her with your thoughts in order.
Man, you sound like an idiotic roastie. Go ahead, dump her and be miserable the rest of your life, retard.
That's pretty cool that you mentioned that. I have had that exact thought before but never heard of anyone having the same thing. So it was kind of like I was dreaming when you said that. Anyways, thanks for your help
Lol find some hobbies u boring faggot.
Outdoors
Football etc
Board games
Rpg's
Amateur theater group
Photography (did it lame as fuck;x)
Sport in general
Sign up for free uni
Volunteer work
Travel
God, u ppl are so fuckin boring.
I know what you're saying. For context, the move was for her own good, it's her first job after graduating college and a great opportunity.
I wanted her to move fully accepting that something like this was likely. I was heavily considering moving to NYC these next couple months, I have an interview at Consensys in Brooklyn for example.
But I can scrap that idea if I want to now. It's all giving me a lot of clarity instead of all this doubt.
I do deserve better than her having Tinder I agree. That shit is wack af.
Yeah I like the emotionally mature route too bro. Thanks for this. I don't really have many people to talk to about this but I have a good head on my shoulders as well and have learned to be bitter is not the best approach in the long term. I'll see if it gets brought up, I'll try not to.
considered this too kek
Don’t mess up. Just keep her and find other things to have fun with. Go get a fucking dog or something. You’re gonna fuck yo big time though that fairly clear. See if you’re a baller with money or a chad then it’s ok you have more leeway in life. But I don’t think you are.
I did this too in college. Exact same thing to a T. Kek. We both graduated finally and a year later she cheated on me.
Im dead serious.
Ltr doesnt work, been in two and it the last one ive forced my gf to come back.
Modern world is crazy and it is one big stimuli. NYC? Dude I get boner like 3 times a day on a gym alone in my eastern europe city with
>reading a book takes more attention than spending hours doing repetitive tasks that you have to actually get better at to progress
It's a stupid comparison to begin with but you must be delusional if you don't think vidya requires a lot of attention. The only reason ADHD kids love vidya is because hyperfocus is a side effect of attention deficit, also why autismos love vidya because they have crazy attention spans.
90% of those will just fill my days, it's the evenings when I get lonely. Besides all they do is distract me from the obvious vacancy that my friends aren't filling. Even social hobbies are weak substitutes since you don't interact much beyond the scope of the activity.
Ha. A succubus has you. They usually take the form of motherly nurturers too. So I’m guessing single mom raised, gf has surface level qualities you think are good. Meanwhile she’s emotionally/physically cheating and knows she has complete leverage over you. Get out now. You won’t though, she has you 100%.
>spending hours doing repetitive tasks
are you speaking about playing video games or reading books. Reading a book requires doing autism level task repetition. You literally sit there, and read. For hours. Motionless. That's fucking catatonic.
With video games you have a multi-sensory experience at least. One designed to be attention grabbing.
Yeah bro I know. I've been a savage. I fucked 10s of girls when living in San Francisco and Berlin.
Life's on easy mode. It's fun but at the same time a hollow experience. And I found that I did it mainly to help me cope with my mother's death due to cancer. Spoiler: It didn't work.
I moved on and try to live a virtuous life mostly now. I don't like hookup culture but it feels like it's the only choice I have.
Wading through these shit girls until 1 finally clicks. Took me a couple years to find this one so it sucks having to restart lol and feel like this relationship investment was such a waste of time.
You are completely right regarding modern life. As I work in tech and blockchain it really makes me question wtf I'm doing. it's an eternal and internal debate I've had for years.
all i know is we're going to make it
>I'm not boring, I read books and go to the gym
Lol nigga u 50 yrs old already
Not being boring would mean crazy party every weekend getting lit with friends, smashing random slags, going on 5 dates a week with 5 different women. You're old
Sounds like it's run its course. Unless you were talking seriously about marriage, long distance with her in a big city will almost certainly ruin it. Make a clean break, move to NYC, go hit up a few random dive bars per night on Fridays and Saturdays, see how easy it is to game chicks here. There's so many women at these bars, and getting laid is a numbers game, that it's really difficult to strike out because you can have literally 50 attempts a night. After you smash every weekend, realize your gf was nothing special and she got gamed the exact same way because she has 50 guys to choose from. Just another cog in the 8 million part machine. It's nothing personal, nothing against you. It's just on Halloween night when you start off with 1 lollipop and have 500 pieces of candy to choose from after trick or treating, no one finishes their lollipop.
>(so no property tax)
Wait, is that an actual thing?
i would kill for a women like this
unironically based boomer advice
you don't miss what you have until it's gone
haha i'm just naturally anxious right now because i know i'll be ending this part of my life in a few hours
but i have to give you credit, you did hit the nail on the head user LOL
the great thing is being self-aware enough to be able to confront those feelings and move forward
going to roll up a fat joint later this evening and set up my own tinder again for some good old rebound sex as well
Same thing happened to me. I lost 8 years because of it. My life took off like a rocket once I got rid of her. It was difficult line to cross but my life 10x after. I can guarantee you won’t regret it so long as you cut all contact. She will pull out every conceivable stop she can think of to get you back after. She might even try to contact your mom or get to other people you are related to in an effort to gain sympathy or use them against you in other ways. Good luck.
the abundance of choice in modern dating is a real curse in that sense. i have done all these things myself and am no saint
this is why these real feelings i have almost feel foreign and i hate even having them. going back to being a cold, unforgiving chad is obviously ideal in these situations but i question the long term viability
>she won't find another guy who will want her
There will always be a guy more desperate for pussy than the last guy - desperate enough to get herpes, desperate enough to raise another man's kid.