The last time I pooped, it was really hard and I spent half an hour trying to get it to come out

The last time I pooped, it was really hard and I spent half an hour trying to get it to come out.
That was three days ago. I haven't pooped since. What do I do?

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drink lots of water
(3L a day)

its fine, dont worry about it, i only poop once every 5 days

once you get in the habit of weekly poos you'll wonder why the fuck your body needed one every day

(i bee pooing like this since i was 10)

and im not fat

Post it here if course

Drink 4 cups of coffee and have a smoke. You'll shit bitcoins.

why you crypoop?
why you crypoop?
you poop. everybody want poop.
no pee pee.
want poop.

buy some crypto
any crypto
youll be dumpin in no time

just start eating stuff with more fiber

Enjoy your bowl cancer

My chest kinda hurts on the right side too, is it related? Is it poop stuck in my body with nowhere to go?

you reckon slow poops cause bowel cancer?

any sources i dont want to get cancer user :(

One of my grandpa's friends had cancer or some shit and couldn't poop, and it just kept building up inside of him until he started puking up shit and ended up drowning in it

stop taking opiods

get an extra large Caramel BRAPPaccino from Cuckbucks Dirty Caffeine Water Emporium then strap in for the ride of your life on the porcelain throne

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could he pee

I dont know, I just said "damn that sounds horrible" and changed the subject because talking about people I've met or know dying horrifically makes me uncomfortable

order some Indian food...mention 'make it extra spicy'

Only eating meals I have prepaired from fresh ingredients, Poop moving slower due to higher available nutrients in food.
>Bowl cancer

neck your self fat cunt.

Try more fiber and more magnesium(supplement).

go buy some suppositories, wet one, shove it as far as it will go, hold in for 30 minutes or more. It will cause irritation in the bowl, that is its purpose which draws water into the colon. Shit out, if its not moving use your fingers to break up the poop, sounds gross and it is but its better than having a doctor do its 2 weeks later when you're in agony. Use suppositories repeatedly until the poop is out, you can't over does on suppositories.

goodluck user

Healthier people poop way more often

do a hot water aenema it works, or take a laxative

If you’ve truly experienced this which obviously you have you are either extremely unhealthy or a ginormous faggot who takes big black dick in the ass all the time. nonetheless i’d take this opinion for salt based on that

start taking psyllium husk

Go slowly with this too as it can cause a lot of gas.

You're an idiot. Osmotic suppositories would be the safest medication therapy when the cause of OP's constipation is unknown.
t. Pharmfag

I just bought some prune juice because the other methods sound scary. Do you think it will come out? It feels like it's blocked

You can try anal fisting.

Dang man that's probably not good I shit like 2-4 times a day

Drink more water, drink 2 cups of coffee, take some magnesium supplements, exercise.

Have you tried drinking a shitload of water? Like a litre or two of cold water?

enema bitch. Dooo eeet

Yeah I drank two bottle of water this morning, so far nothing

>i only poop once every 5 days
If not a larp you are seriously unhealthy
IDK that's the extent of my medical knowledge. You might need some poo pills at this stage

Drink a cup of coffee and take a snus in your upper lip and all things inside you comes rushing out

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Raw pineapple. Have at least half, but not too much more than that. Works everytime. Careful not to injure your tongue, it happens sometimes.

Former opiate addict here. My go to was always a tall glass and maybe an extra half of prune juice every 3 days (or just after not shitting for 3 days). Be sure to be home during this because you will have to shit a lot, but it cleans you out really well. Sometimes it helps to have a little nicotine to kick it off, but that's usually not necessary but it does help you to get it going in a timely manner.

That said, even heroin users can avoid chronic constipation with adequate water intake and a diet high in fiber and regular exercise, though obviously few do all of that due to their life being in shambles.

If prune juice doesn't work though you may have some sort of other medical problem.

And I meant eat raw pineapple. Not anything else.

oh I see you bought prune juice already. Good. Drink a big glass and a half of that and then wait a few hours. It shouldn't take much longer than that. Also drink more water and a cup of coffee. Then when you feel things starting to stir or before smoke a cigarette or get some swedish snus (no american snus) and be prepared to run to the toilet. 99% of the time this works.

Take constipation tablet's or pills. Do NOT strain. Do NOT Push hard.

I am begging you, THIS happened to me and it sucked real bad

Change and improve your diet. Eat fluid soft food.

Fred Meyer's used to sell larfe boxes of cleaned and chopped raw pineapple pieces. Also, Safeway and QFC should have them. Also whole foods. Or buy a real one and clean it yourself, much cheaper this way.

>Do NOT strain. Do NOT Push hard.
w-what happens?

not larp

i have always pooped that frequency

i just dont feel that urge to go, like i aint holding the poop back, it just doesnt come out...

5 days aint painful at all, it's a little firmer, but not rock solid.

piles (haemorrhoids) on your asshole, you do not want piles.

Eat wheat-bix.

if youre not pooping 2-3 times a day, you are unhealthy.

i base this off the fact of how much you need to eat getting your daily protein, potassium, fats, and other nutrients.

Damn nigga once in 5 days is not enough. You must be bloated as heck or you're literal anorexic. IDK what you got going on but something has to change.

I used to be like that in high-school. It sucked. Fixed myself with some kind of herb pills when starting uni.

Raw pineapple is great though.

He shoved his fingers up his ass, and you shouldn’t be that constipated unless you are unhealthy or a faggot like I said. You sir are the idiot.

t. doctor

Herrminodes (can't spell). Basically imagine one of your ass bones starts to comes OUT of your butt hole.

You will experience the most uncomfortable pain, every time you sit down it will hurt like fuck.

Just sitting on a chain will be a nightmare


I had to lie on my bed for a week and eat rice, cornflakes, light food


This shit is dangerous. Please annon go to see a doctor and change your diet. But get constipation tablet's.

This guy knows...right spelling annon. This shit is the worst you could start to develop.

wtf how much food are you eating that you need to poop 3 times a day? You must be fat as fuck

i'm scared

medfag here.
yes, rare pooping increases your chances for cancer a lot.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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>doctor
>doesn't know standard guidelines
Of course OP is unhealthy, but he's gotta remove impacted shit. What's your solution?

OP here. I’m at work right now, just did diarrhea in the bathroom at work. The prune juice worked.

Eat some raw radishes and wash them down with black coffee. Instant diarrhea. 100% guaranteed .

Jow Forums

well you have decaying waste sitting inside your body, thats cancer causing

Well, you could do everything posted here, or, you know, go to a doctor.

I ended up drinking prune juice. My butthole exploded and a bunch of poop splashed out of the toilet onto my butthole but over all I highly recommend prune juice

Over the counter constipation meds

Or try prunes/pears

Prune juice

>puking shit
Kek

Eat kratom and chocolate and avoid water (drink minimum liquids) it will send you to poop in no time

"Everybody poops ( except this faggot)"

Kekistan. This thread is great. Almost makes me forget that I lost all my money in the crypto ponzi. Thanks based poop bros.

Looks like they stopped selling them but if you want to laugh check out the reviews on these gummy bears: Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb amazon.com/dp/B006J1FBLM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_KnAdCb6E9701F

The same thing that happened to total biscuit - catastrophic ass failure.

>Jow Forums - Business & Finance

I haven't shit in 4 days or so I think. Always tears my ass open when I do. I am unironically suicidal so I hope I get cancer and die so I don't end up on the hill of suicides.

I shit about once every 4 days on average. GP and GI doc both said it was Nothing to be concerned about. 5 days might be pushing it