Ever since I turned 19, my mental state has been going down the gutter

I am exactly in the same position llike you user. My job is so boring that it kills all motiviation in me.

You sound depressed user.
I also suffer with depression. Recently I keep experiencing a feeling of impending doom. This year has been terrible, a few family members passed away and I'm just holding on.

Fuck off retard you don't know his situation.

same here. my social circle is full of blue pilled manchildren which are a chore to be around because all they care about is video games, movies, and other pointless normie things. one of them literally said that he wished video games weren't so competitive because people's feelings get hurt when they lose. they're all in uni tho so maybe they will grow out of it but I don't want to spend time with them because I'm afraid that their weak qualities will rub off on me. if I didn't drop out and kept being around them I probably would have been just like them, which is a scary thought. the dilemma is that I either keep spending time with them and keep whatever social life that goes with it or cut all contact and try to make something out of myself while being depressed and lonely. if I make it with link I will probably start some kind of underground bar/lounge/opium den where people can go to chill and talk about philosophy/politics/etc.

30 yo boomer here, same. Have to work on my own (freelancer/self employed ), because I can not stand the wage cucks at the office anymore. Have only like 4 friends left, the others turned into degenerates or super bluepilled normies.
Just accept yourself and stop giving a fuck. Maybe go on a vacation to reflect.
Also, this

user are you me?

Im 32. A 10 year veteran of your state of mind.

Run. Run for your goddamn life. Better to be poor but have a soul than an office cuck.

For me its too late already. I cant change. My bronze handcuffs keep me a slave in the system, forever.

30 yo boomer here too. I'm with this user. Refused to give up and finally got gud at trading after nine years of study and practice and haunting failures.

most successful people suck. you can do better.

it's okay to be tired or frustrated and take some time to find the fire again, but never give up on yourself.

we're all going to make it.

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what are their weak qualities? sounds like me senpai

Underage detected

just stop jerking off holy shit

your problem is that you think you are anything other than an animal

do you see a lion jerking its cock looking at other lions copulating?

fucking idiot. semen creates life, imagine thinking it has no value whatsoever and spraying it on a sock every day

and crying on image boards

fucking faggot

>I'm in a fucking rut and I don't how to get out. My future of being a 9-5 office drone is really killing my motivation.

100 years ago, people your age were working on farms doing back-breaking labour until your skin looked like leather by the time you were 35, and you're fucking complaining about how you don't want to push paper around in an air-conditioned/heated office.

Fuck this civilization, it can go along with all the lazy good-for-nothing people.

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This is exactly how I've felt ever since high school. Every year I burn more bridges with the few acquaintances I still have from school, I'm a kissless virgin and the only family I have are my parents which are likely going to be dead within the next 5-10 years.

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He's edgy, yeah, but there's really no excuse to start doing hard drugs.

>you should be happy you're not a slave

Are you ready to give yourself to Saint Kermit himself? The Sage of the North, The Sorter of Rooms, The Slayers of SJWs, and the King of the Lobsters. Dr. Jordan Peterson.

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Fooled by randomness - Nasim Taleb
Its all about luck,

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34 year old boomer here weighing in with unsolicited advice.
ive meandered in and out of varying mental states over the years and i can assure you that the time will come where youll look back on your time in your late teens/early 20s and regret shutting down the outside world, even if its not forever and you do open up, right now is an important moment.

nevermind all the other shit people will expect from you, like chasing women especially, that can come at any age (my 2 best periods with women were when i was 23-25 and 31-32) but theres things you can do right now at 19 that youll never get to do again.
those are in education and your health. with regards to your health, you will never in your life be in a better position to stay on top of your fitness than you are at 19, youll never recover as quickly or be able to train hard on a shitty diet, it will only get harder as you age and it will have a lasting knock on impact in everything else you do. if you are fat when young you will be looked at as a loser forever regardless of your mental state.
and education/training, train in something that will earn you money whenever you need it now, as it is never easier to get through than when youre young. yes we can all relearn things and you might have to one day the older you are, the harder it gets, if you leave it until youre in your late 20s like i did its 100x harder than at 19 with all the other life pressures that come.

as for education, if you get even just 2 years deep into a trade, something that people will always be willing to pay you money for, it wont matter later in life if you decide to slack off and be a depressed neet. it doesnt need to be something youre passionate about, that can come anytime. at 29 i went back to school to learn air conditioning and heating of all things and the amount of stress it takes off your shoulders knowing that no matter what else in your life business-wise fails, theres always something fall back on thats better than a mcjob, its liberating as fuck and everything else in life becomes easier.

if i had done it at 19 instead of 29 id have been able to take a ton more chances, including being earlier into crypto and other speculative ventures. having some sort of applicable experience or training behind you is like having 100,000 in the bank for a rainy day.

You are as clueless as you are spoiled.

adderall? How much of whatever drug it was did you take? I have a minor addiction to adderall but I feel like it's worth it because i'm making so much progress programming apps. I literally don't do shit without it but I'm a beast when I take it. I just want to try to get lucky and get enough to sell it or start a company.

What about life?

start lifting weights and saving money.

Get off the internet, especially sites like this where everyone around just reinforces your depression and makes you feel justified about it.

OP, 18-22 were the worst years of my fucking life. 19 being the worst of all the years.

I had just dropped out of high school, september 11th happened about a year ago, economy in the shitter, no job prospects.

Got drunk everyday. Here's the best advice i am going to give you:

Learn about diet and health-- focus on self image and confidence

And find a job somewhere ASAP-- ANYTHING keep your time busy if you're not in school.

I am 36 now, turning 37 soon. I turned my life around, but I missed out on my 20's because of a real shitty start.

You're still very young, don't piss it away being depressed.

This people underestimate that on an emotional level they are destined to be normies. Some here are also just normies who got lost by the herd. Kinda like homeless people who shot heroin up their arms. OP you fucked at a young age. Haha

You go to a therapist who specializes in avoidant personality disorders.

That'll do it.

Killing your motivation? Motivation to do what exactly? What do you think life is supposed to be like?

31yo boomer here. Just got off the phone with a redhead blonde, she guzzled my cum last night. If I can break free from abusive parents and start a new life, so can you. Stop fapping and take some zinc to boost testosterone.

Sounds like (clinical) depression. Too bad antidepressants don't work but get your blood tested. You may simply have low vitamin D which is easily fixable unlike depression.

It gets worse after 25/30.