I am about to inherit a trust fund of $5 million USD...

james hamburger
bond whopper

“Last night I pierced your sister’s buns”

bonded all the way

>Pierced
Pierce != Pierced
>buns
There is one burger bun in the picture

>last night I Double 0’d your Burger sister

Attached: 7a5.gif (482x800, 29K)

"Last night I bond, caught and pounder'd your sister?"

all these new fags don't even remember this meme. so fucking sad

100% take advice from a Korean knitting forum. Guaranteed never fail investment.

To be honest I'm not watching the markets much anymore. I had a deposed prince contact me via a mutual friend and through my services he is going to make me rich.

all in LiNK, obviously

crash course yourself on basic economics
learn to enjoy investing as a hobby
people waste money because they get a dopamine hit off buying things
the mind interprets buying as acquiring resources
instead learn to get that hit from finding good investments--i.e. actually acquiring resources
also buy $100k in gold sovereigns or Krugerrands and bury them.

you are rich. not wealthy. there's a difference

last night i spy decked your sister

If you even have to ask, I'm just gonna spoil the ending for you OP:

you lose all the money

Attached: 1546319210921.jpg (596x650, 93K)

Move to a cheaper south american country. live like a king for the rest of your days.

bond burgered

This, good luck buddy.

kek i was trying to figure it out too

bond burger was best i got

That's the first thing that came to my mind too but I gotta admit this makes the most sense

Attached: 1533600393270.jpg (609x773, 145K)

007 burger?

Enlighten us, fag

A great way to lose 5 million is to invest it right now.
Maybe gamble with 100k on investments.
I'd just buy a home and a bar. Food, drink and shelter covered.

Attached: bar.jpg (800x535, 237K)

Poor people logic.

Stay poor fren

AAAARRGHHH IM SO LONELY

Secretly pounded

>people waste money because they get a dopamine hit off buying things

Fun part of trading is you get the same rush from buying stock. Curiously, i don't get the good feel buying physical things anymore. And god forbid i have to take money out of the market to buy something like a car. Still driving rusted out beater because i can't bring myself to replace it while it still runs.

Jokes on you I only have a brother.

give it to me i will invest it for you

even better

he is 40 and balding

Leave USA unironically before they tax the shit out of you to fund niggers.
You will live like a king in SA or Eastern Europe.

Last night I bondburgered your sister

You have one good idea, user. And only because I just showed up. Turn it into 100 million here.

and don't make me Bronson burger your sister because I wil.

borgar

"Last night I secretly shilled chainlink to your sister"
Fucking amatuers

Vuy monero.

where can I find more sergey nazarov POV porn

short term while you figure it out or talk to an investment manager that you can trust/isnt fucking you on fees?
8 week T-Bill ladder. Why? Because you can get a decent return for very very short term investment that is secure and very easy to liquidate to take advantage of changes on market/crypto.
treasury.gov/resource-center/data-chart-center/interest-rates/Pages/TextView.aspx?data=billrates

So you take your 5 million and split it into 8 equal sums of 625,000.
Now you put in 625k in at week 1, repeat all the way through week 8, now on week 9 your first 625k has finished and earned you the following at current rates:

2.42% on 8 week T-Bill coupon. 8 weeks into a year is 6.5 times. 2.42% divided by 6.5 times is
.372% every time it matures, so in theory, you will be making the following every week: ( 625,000 * .372 ) = $2,326.92 every week.

Why is this good? Well, if your first week matures after 8 weeks, you can simply let it roll over into another 8 week T-bill by doing nothing, and you can set a direct deposit for that $2.3k you make every week. So now you have every week a structured $2.3k is coming in, and let's say you need $625k for an investment, every week you can set that weeks amount to not auto restart and boom you have that amount liquid for whatever you want to do, and at most you wait 8 weeks to have all 5 million available to you again.
This is what I would recommend you do or at least look into T-Bill ladders ( This only works if Federal Reserve rates remain as high as they have been recently, if another round of Quantitive Easing begins and is officially the policy of the Fed, then I suggest growth stocks as the market will become artifically reinflated again and that guarantees at least 20%+ returns due to their manipulation )
This is your best bet in the short term if you absolutely do not want to lose a dime on the market because you think there is a top going on. hope this helps

I pierced your sisters buns

its posts like these that make it worth to visit biz. thanks user, you are part of the 1% here

Don't be a fucking idiot like this fag. I actually made more than $5m from crypto. Just do 26 week T ladder, dont be a fag.

Every 4 weeks you buy the 4 week t bill.

>Last night I James Bond Cheeseburger your sister

Attached: 1542195109092.jpg (699x485, 68K)

also, you can use that 2.3k to start to place yourself slowly into riskier bets or something you do not necessarily want to risk that principle 5mil but are okay with risking a couple grand on, that way you have a blended investment strategy that accounts for low yield on your larger investment by allowing much higher potential yield on smaller investment that does not open risk exposure to your main income, but allows you to participate in higher % yield opportunities that over time and success will drive up your overall investment return.
My suggestion would be to start dollar averaging into the crypto you are interested in, and to try and target specific sectors of the market you think will grow with time such as things like defense contractors, rare earth metals used for solar, electronics, electric vehicles, cannabis, satellite service providers, liquid natural gas, and more specific types of investments into foreign markets that specialize in segments of economy, an example would be stem cell technology in Mexico/Israel, biomedical and technology in Israel, gas development in Brazil, things along those lines.
Please if anyone else has ideas or suggestions I would definitely like to hear from more people

This is what I'd do.

Buy a house with 1 mil
Buy a Tesla

Have 3.9 million left while having basically no expenses, shelter and cheap transport.

Spend my days in my comfy house reading books on economics and finance.

Take 100k and use it to day trade.

Invest the rest of the money in safe stocks and maybe buy some real estate to rent out.

Life on easy mode. Making 5 million or even 1 million is my dream as it's easy to make it from there when you don't need to work and commute for 10 hours every day.

vanguard dividend fund

last night I 007 big mac'd your sister