Be crypto NEET ($500k+ cashed out)

>be crypto NEET ($500k+ cashed out)
>find out now I can't get a loan to buy a house, a car, mobile contract, margin account, or anything I want to buy on credit, all because I don't have a fucking credit history

LITERALLY WHAT THE FLIPPING FUCK GUYS. i thought i would make it but no one told me i needed to get into FUCKING DEBT to make it. i can't even fucking rent a flat without putting 6 - 12 MONTHS up front in deposits

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Why do you need a loan though?

buy a van, live in the parking lot

Yeah, that's one of the problems with crypto. Time to get a real job to get an actual income statement you can show the banks.

Whats more is you cant get a decent mortgage without a five year history of wagecucking. Just buy a single wide on some agricultural land and call it a day.

You've cashed out over half a million dollars and you need a loan? You're simply bad with money, quit complaining.

You can use blockfi to get a loan but it's expensive
You use your bitcoin as collateral

I'm considering investing in a car wash with what I cashed out
That ownership and income counts towards getting a loan right

What? Here (in EU) you only need to wagecuck for half a year or if you're an entrepreneur your company has to be "in business" for at least 12 months, but besides that they're giving away mortgage like candies.

Dont mortgage your life man. Be a digital nomad trader. Thats a great life.

>500k neth worth
>I cant get a loan for a MOBILE CONTRACT

IF you want to larp then do it right

You need a credit history to get a mobile contract. My mom still pays for my contract

USA! USA! USA!

kek. pathetic.

Idk where you live, but if I had 500k in Europe, I would just buy two 150k apartments, rent them out on airbnb and travel / do whatever I want forever.

iktf user. I can't get a mobile contract either.
cashed out a similar amount. cunts here won't believe it. it's hilarious.
Think I'm gonna buy a house rather than rent although that will eat into my delicious index funds.
Nomadding is another option if you don't have ties, you could live reasonably well in SEA with $15k/year (3% safe withdrawal) for life on that amount

he cant, he doenst have credit history

Have your parents cosign

This cant be true? I'm not american tho so I might be suprised..

britbong here and it's true

I must be missing something.
If you have 500k+$ fiat in an account...

why can't you get a loan with that as collateral?
why would you want to pay interest anyway? can you not (as a NEET) live reasonably well investing the money and using the returns and a little of the principal yearly?

Similar. Saw mid 00's comfy Toyota Camry for sale from old lady. Supa low miles. Supa great price... Can't get auto loan, limited credit history... And "Camry" was "overpriced" compared to rest of market. Go to bank, "can give you personal loan, 10%"... Lol no thanks already have a car. Not for the win, buying all your previous cars in cash.

Can't you ... just pay up straight? You have the cash.

He just said he's CASHED OUT you idiot.

He doesn't need a credit history if he's not asking for credit. The guy said BUY, in cash. No mortgage. Do people here know how to read anymore?

why would you want to be a debt cuck?

>get rich enough to break free of the jwish loan and credit cuckoldry
>still insist on wanting to use it
absolute sheepmind retard
buying some land and building a house on it is CHEAPER than financing the same fucking house
buying a used car that is about 3-5 years old is cheaper than leasing (or god forbid for the biggest ultraretards, buying) brand new car which will lose 10% of its value the second you drive off the dealership
buy a fucking phone and prepaid card
how can you inbred subhumans even function?
oh right you dont, you are braindead NEETS or wagecucks

This. It's like some people are just addicted to debt.

PEOPLE if you pay a lump sum then you dont just lose the money you also lose the returns that capital could give you by trading. meanwhile a good loan is 4-5% which you can easily outdo by trading with ur capital (ie 10%). This means a loan is more lucrative for u, since you remain capital strong.

rental and high yield investments master race. buy in cash when you have enough

>cash out $500k
>need a loan
What are you fucking retarded?

>"GET LOANS YOU STUPID GOYS REEEEE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN DEBT FOREVER!!!!"

Oh say can you see...

Look into a business loan for a duplex that has current tenants. There is also tax advantages for living in one while you rent out others. You could easily get a three or four in a very nice area with the kind of money you have, or get a small mortgage and live off the rent and enjoy life. You need 2 to 3 million cash to retire super comfy

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we lost at the Bitcoins's last gleaming?
Whose broad bears and bright shills thru the perilous fight,
O'er the sellwalls we watched were so gallantly streaming?

It's very true. Without a GoodGoyScore the banker jew punishes you heavily.

It's easy to fix, though, since OP is a faggot I'll help him out; it's called a secured loan. Take your jewbux to any local credit union (not a jewbank) and get a "secured loan" then use that loan to buy a car. You should never use straight cash for such large purchases. With a "secured loan" those jewbux get reported to the jewbanks and create your credit history. You'll be able to get a standard loan in less than 6 months.

Surely OP is still buying something other than dragon dildos with his money.

>dumping your entire net worth into a depreciating asset instead of using the jewbank's money at a minimal interest rate, while using your liquid cash to make actual investments
Their word for you means "cattle" for a reason.

>have enough bitcoin to become wealthy in 5 years
>sell them in exchange of jewcoins
>ask for a fucking loan

the state

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the jews did this and I hate them for it.
the bible's finance section is the biggest redpill.

Basically its like comparing pay as you go in Europe to an 18 month contract phone in the USA. Previously USA didnt have pay as you go, now they do. Walmart, boost and cricket has forced companies to go pay as you go. Its still so expensive compared to the Uk.


It was more so 5 years ago. USA only had contract plans for like 18 months so it wasnt pay as you go like the UK. Now its more common and you dont need it. If you have good credit theyll give you a brand new 800 phone for 35/mo with no interest and you need credit for that. The idea I guess is you wont leave till your phone is paid off, if you want to I think you have to pay it off in full so it traps you on a no contract plan.

Phones plans are expensive as fuck compared to the Uk. It was like Americans didnt know the true cost and were screwed for years. First was cricket and now boost, no one signs long contracts. Those two were considered nigger tier but now so many use boost its not.

>What is time value of money

>have 500k
>need a loan for a car
LARP

>not cashing out comfort money that you incubate as cash to dispense at your discretion while your real investment percolates.
Did that with link and have NO INTENTION of increasing my risk profile with my precious, precious freedom giving comfort cash.
>muh penny pinching with large sums
It's like you don't have enough stress already

>What is financial freedom

OP is a fucking retard and will lose all his money slowly.

you're talking to retards who jumped in a couple shitcoins in 2017, lucked out and think they're trading geniuses
they'll quote youtube videos about velocity of money to you and insist they can get reliable 20% returns per year, no biggie

Call the bank and arrange a meeting with them. If you aren't larping you have more liquid capital than 99% of their clients.

you are probably right, i should learn to stop being angry at retards

So you need to front 1% of your net worth for 6 months of rent? Chill out dude.

I had this problem buying a house last year too - bank couldn't accept that my big coinbase deposits were actually my money and i didn't owe it back - they needed 3 months bank statements so i had to wait until my statements were crypto free for 3 months until they'd sign the loan

Dumb as shit but boomers run banks and they'll die soon so whatev

what is a meeting gonna get the bank to do? magically give out loans?

Yes, idiot. Once you establish your source of wealth and verify your holdings any bank will (perhaps literally) suck your dick to manage a stack like that.

I work sales for postpaid phones, Verizon, Sprint, AT&T, ect, and I'd say boost, Virgin Mobile, and cricket are still nigger tier. The phones come with a fuckton of bloat and are barely usable outside of any large metropolitan area. The worst is when customers come in wanting us to setup or fix their prepaid phones and then they throw a fit when we tell them that the phones are self-service. People depend on their phones 24/7 yet won't take the time or learn how to do anything by themselves, it's disgusting.

>any bank will (perhaps literally) suck your dick to manage a stack like that
Banks don't care about a measly 500k

man theres some pretty hot chicks at my bank, that would be nice.

Don't use a traditional bank. There's legit lenders that take Bitcoin as collateral. No other questions asked.

If you aren't in debt you are an antisemite.

time to move op

How about you give ME a loan?