My girlfriend knows I'm a diagnosed paranoid schizo and she knowingly toys with it. We'll get into huge...

My girlfriend knows I'm a diagnosed paranoid schizo and she knowingly toys with it. We'll get into huge, never-ending arguments because she'll say something like

>Oh, I haven't been very well today / something hapened

Knowing it will trigger my anxiety, but then, when I calmly ask her how/why, she'll go

>Nothing, get over it, change the subject, you don't need to know

And so on, repeatedly denying me information and even so much as a simple conversation until I have a full on anxiety attack from feeling like she's withholding something huge and terrible. Then she'll usually say I'm being annoying.

What I wanna get to is, how should I deal with this?

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Hmmm
Maybe you should break up with her?

This behavior is pretty universal among women, so if it causes you to have full blown anxiety attacks, you might just have to become gay or live alone.

She's my fourth girlfriend and so far it's 2/2 for me, I've met women who were amazingly sweet and understanding but she just isn't. I love her, but she isn't.

What makes me split is feeling like she's bipolar herself somehow, as in, she'll act like the most loveable person on earth all day, telling me she loves me every five minutes and so on, and then out of nowhere pull one of these on me, treat me like dirt, deny me the conversation and not even care to try and understand what I'm feeling. She just makes fun of everything I say like a child. Then, the next day, she's turned around again and suddenly I'm the greatest man alive.

I don't know how to react because, as I said, it's always sudden, there's no buildup, she just turns a switch and becomes cruel, and I feel like a deer in headlights.

Sounds like BPD. Run. Run now.

'People' who like to manipulate other people for their own self enjoyment deserve justice. Find what makes her tick and exploit it, when she gets pissed act like you didn't mean to do anything wrong and repeat.
There is no reasoning with a 3dpd, so you can forget the whole traditional breaking up thing, you have to break her mentally. Only then can your soul be at rest.

I was going to say something like this. He's right OP, she'll probably make life a living hell if you break up with her. Make her want to break up with you. Good luck friend.

What pisses me off is that I do feel manipulated in a way.

One thing she does that I consider low, very low, is that she knows a strong component of my condition is feeling like the world isn't real and having difficulty feeling like I'm sane, and yet, even when I'm perfectly sane and even my friends, upon reviewing the messages, agree with me entirely, she'll try to convince me I'm seeing or thinking things on my own, that I'm extrapolating things and that I myself am creating arguments out of thin air. There are tons of times where the conversation goes like

>Please, just talk to me. I need to know this.
>You don't need to know anything.

I don't understand how someone can be like this.

BPD

Not even once - unless you absolutely love pain.

She doesn't love you.

She sounds like your kid ffs
Like I said, she needs to face justice.
...
Lightbulb
>If you guys (or she) smoke weed then slip a tiny bit of spice into your bud
>Only about a half a pinch
>Don't smoke it because that shit makes you fucking crazy
>The whole time she's tripping you have to act like a white stoner guy 'consoling' his friend
>"It's just weed, calm the fuck down"
>Get her admitted into a mental hospital when the spice kicks in (and it will)
>Get tf out of dodge
>Problem solved

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Leaving your brilliant plan aside, I do agree with the observation - I told her today that I feel like she either underestimates her own self or sees me like a child, because she answers me as if talking to a retard. "No honey, there's no monster under the bed, it's just your imagination" etc.

into her bud*

Maybe just see a couples therapist then? If she's not willing to fix whatever problems you have, then she doesn't really deserve a relationship. That also applies if she's being one sided.

bump

Break up with her she sounds annoying

Sounds like she is legit abusing your medical condition user, and if that's the case she can't love you to be like that towards you.
Maybe she is BPD which I assume is bi polar disorder?

run run run run run run

This sounds like the other BPD; not bipolar but borderline personality disorder. They call it splitting and black/white thinking. Raising an individual to a pedestal to down to the dirt.
Borderline is also exhibited by extreme trust issues, abandonment issues, and manipulation in order to feel like she has control over if you'll abandon her or lie to her.

On the other hand, you really aren't obligated to all information from a loved one. People talk about how annoyed they are with loved ones who say "I'm fine, nothing's wrong" when something is clearly wrong. If they're honest and say, "I'm not doing so hot today, but I don't really want to talk about it" isn't that a good thing?

When it comes down to it, the only thing you can change is yourself. You can't change other people. You can request changes (a request is an action you do yourself), but you can't guarantee changes (because whether or not they change is up to them). You have made your requests and they have been refused. You can't force them to accept.

So your choices are to either cope with the situation or to leave the situation.

Your girlfriend is just moody. She isn't trying to fuck with you, you just think she is because you're a paranoid schizo.

Thinking people are toying with you, or are out to get you, is part of the paranoid schizophrenic illness. Talk with you psychotherapist about this. And if your really sure your girlfiend is doing it on purpose break up with her.

I would be open to those interpretations and I think they are somewhat true, but I also can't shake the feeling she tries to stir me up on purpose. For example, this is a literal conversation we have, which is very typical:

>Me: Please, talk to me about it. You said something bad happened. I'm your boyfriend and I care about it, I need to know about it. Work with me, not against me.
>Her: 'k

Then she proceeds to say she doesn't wanna talk anymore and disappears for hours, maybe a day.

She could be fed up with you not respecting her "no"

It's hard to even word it in a way that seems understandable because it's just the greatest, most soul-crushing feeling of disdain I've ever felt in my life. Like I'm actual, meaningless garbage.

More likely that she's just thinking about herself, to be honest. There were tons of times were something bad happened to me, or there was an uncomfortable subject I'd rather avoid, but it preoccupied her and she wanted to know, so I gave in and told her about it since I also feel the need to consider her feelings in this relationship. I'd hate to have her doubting where my heart, or my mind, really is.

She never even thinks about giving in and throwing me a bone, and I've already told her if there's something she doesn't wanna talk about she simply does not need to mention it. At the point she not only mentions it but starts acting like it's a big deal, she cannot withhold that information anymore, I am already entangled in it, it's FAIR that I should know.

Double standards exist. Just because she's insistent on getting information from you doesn't mean she isn't fed up with giving information to you. I'm not saying it's right, I'm pontificating on her motivations.

You've requested that she not mention these things. She continues to mention these things. You cannot force her to not mention these things, you can only request it.
You can request information, but you cannot force information. If she has doubled down on not telling you, you cannot guarantee that you will get that information.

You either cope with the situation or you leave.