My boyfriend's mom doesn't like me, should I be worried?

I'm pretty certain my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me. When I initially met her she was more welcoming and made an effort to talk to me but now I'm lucky if she even says hello to me when I walk into the same room as her.

Me and my boyfriend are currently both in college and we met online (unintentionally we have the same friend group that we play games with) but we've been dating for four years now.

Before I could handle seeing my boyfriend a handful of times a year since we're LDR and both in school and we have plans of moving out but she's completely against it. It's kind of stressing me and my boyfriend out because we have plans of moving out within the next 2-3 years. She's constantly complaining at the fact that he spends too much money to see me (we live five hours away) and that we should see each other less (we probably see each other during winter/summer breaks and our birthdays) and I only stay for a few days to a week. He's told me that she's said other things about me that doesn't sit right with me but my boyfriend words in nicely (she's upset I'm not prettier, skinnier, making enough money, come from a disfunctional family, and constantly makes snide remarks about me when I'm not around)

Should I be worried at the fact that she seems annoyed by my presence? Should I be a brown noser? (I constantly used to get her gifts but she's even complain about those too and I think I've see her regift some things)

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maybe it's her problem, not yours. she might be possessive of her son

You are obviously not good enough for him. Try BBC and become a whore. Your wallet and your Pussy will thank you.

Your bf is probably shit talking about you to his mom. Maybe you are being a bad gf and he is venting. In response his mom is short w you

He doesn't have the best relationship with her if anything he's kind of intimidated by her because she's always lecturing him about literally anything and he says she tends to nag a lot so he's learned to tone her out

That's just a mom thing. The only way she's going to stop is when she realizes that there's nothing she can do to stop it, and respects his decision. That requires him standing up and speaking out to her about it instead of just ignoring her.

I'd hope not :( we don't necessarily argue much to begin with we're in a happy relationship the only thing we wish we could fix is the distance.

On our free time we'll stream videos and games or just come up with activities that we can do while we're apart.

Not to mention she doesn't really talk about the way I treat her son or my behavior. I feel like I'm actually pretty reserved and quiet unless I'm being talked to. A lot of her insults tend to come from my appearance or the fact that we may spend some money to see each other every once in a while (we aren't breaking our savings though)

Hate to go through the generic stuff but, are you two different races? Guessing 20-22 years old? Are you his first?

Certain moms might be extremely possessive/control freak/norman bates-like to their sons which they might see as easy to be manipulated by 'roasty stacy whatever' in their eyes. Lots of people in general feel that relationships in the 18-23 year old range often fail (they do) and people are fickle and don't know what they want in life, so maybe she just doesn't want her son to get hurt. As far as race goes don't be surprised if the mom wants grandkids that aren't mixed skin.

I've been in a similar situation to you where I met a girl online, lived a long ways away but we were willing to move in together, were very compatible together but my mom (and sister) were extremely hostile to her and it sucked so much.

Shit I forgot to mention but yeah, he is Pakistani and they are pretty relaxed when it comes to their practices ever since moving to the U.S. However, his parents did meet through an arranged marriage and they expected him to do the same.

First year of us dating I know she expressed concern because he wasn't going to marry a Pakistani girl and his family oversees would have been very disappointed. Then the next year she kept telling her son she had premonitions that he was going to marry a tall, white woman with green eyes (I'm a fair skinned Hispanic for reference)

I do notice that sometimes she says something's that can be interpreted as racist or homophobic. (Ex: my boyfriend's sister is bisexual and she's always being by her mom because she needs to "stop being selfish and pick a side")

Just seems so weird because I'm well liked by his friends and cousins and even his mother's friends but she just can't stand me for whatever reason.

What about the dysfunctional family stuff? Is your family fat or whatever and the mom thinks your kids will be raised wrong with junk food? If your parents got divorced the mom might project that future onto the son.

In any case I'd say stay together as long as you two are genuinely happy, everyone laughs and knows what's up when you mention in laws at any family gathering, so this drama is pretty commonplace.

She knows you’re a shit fit. Cut contact and stop this ler bullshit. Might as well date an imaginary person.

She basically thinks her son could do better.
You can improve yourself to prove her wrong, or you can disregard her opinion.

Mom is right...

My mom described every girl I was ever with as either a witch or a spoiled princess. Didn't affect any of my decisions.

The fact that the bf relays his mother's nasty comments to you is a bad sign.

Your boyfriend's mum sounds like a cunt. Just keep making an effort to he nice to her and start conversations. The more she ignores you the more apparent it will be to your boyfriend that his mum is an arsehole and that you're the bigger person for not letting it get to you

it is a bad sign and I'm sure he talks shit about OP to his mother and why she soured on her.

My grandmother hates my aunt.

My aunt is one of the greatest humans I've ever met in my life. She's kind, talented, hard working, active, she raised her kids amazingly, my cousins are all established, distinguished, strong, well educated successful people and she had everything to do with it.

Just the most perfect human I know.

My grandmother hates her, my uncle married her anyway.

It happens. A lot. Sometimes no one is good enough for a woman's baby. Just be respectful and deal with it.

Moms sniff out problems from a mile away

It just makes it so hard because I don't like being where I'm it welcomed and it does hurt my self esteem a little. His close immediate family loves me especially his cousins that are basically like his best friends, it's just his mom that just can't be civil with me

Thanks for this

I realize I have an aunt that get shit from my grandmother and she's my favorite aunt. Although we're not blood related I love her to death. Plus no one takes my grandmother seriously because she's neurotic and she's known for spreading rumors within the family to have people side with her or hate one another

Yeah I've been there and it's a shitty situation to be in. You just have to be the bigger person for your boyfriend's sake. If you and his mum end up arguing that's super awkward for him. Honestly though, fuck that bitch. If everyone likes you apart from her then it's obviously her who has the problem, but it will he obvious to everyone else as well. Just suck it up and be super nice, it will annoy her and make her look like a dick if she makes shitty comments in front of people

My dad was once jealous that I was dating a rich girl, so he made rude comments to her face as well as behind her back. Stupid me for being honest and answering her when she asked if has said things about her... she left me. (Have not talked to my dad in years...).