>21 years old
>Mixed-raced
>Hispanic looking
>Work with White dad in carpentry
>Get irritated because I'm being mentally violated with every movement I make, and I have nothing to live for except more work
>He tells me I make him sad
>Ask him why
>He says it's because I get angry at work
>Tell him that I can't help that
I feel like he's lying to me about me making him sad.
I think he's just complaining at me to get attention toward himself and his problems, and he's taking my life and misery and twisting it around for this goal.
I try and love my father, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just his tool. It's in everything that he does toward me. He tried to cut my sister out of the family as soon as he heard she was getting married.
It was like her life was worth nothing to him at all, and I think I'm held in the same regard.
He has given me the house I've grown up in, but he only did it involuntarily due to filing and once it was done, he pretended it was all for me. He has debt, and he doesn't want to be homeless in the event of a bankruptcy, and he knows I won't make him homeless.
I still can't shake the feeling my and father and mother don't care about me.
My father pays me well, but he only does that so I don't run away from him for good. I would probably move out immediately/join the military if he forced me to work without pay.
My mother loves Nicaraguan children more than she loves me. Back when I was 18 and she had cancer, I secretly wished the cancer would continue so I could masturbate with the family dog more.
I did nothing to comfort her, and I didn't care once I got used to the reality of it.
I think she's the same way toward me, but she lives in denial of that fact. She pretends to care about me because she's 30% black, but she doesn't really care, and she's just abiding by mental rules she built for herself as it provides stability for her.