I need advice. So last week I hooked up with a guy who I have not seen in years...

>I'm assuming he did
Yeah that's probably best. Until she shows she is bothering him I'd assume he's trying to manipulate you (and her too probably) and drop him. If you got info saying otherwise then go from there, but it doesn't look like that from what you've told us.
>tldr: probably just drop him

So you think he made up the number to text me?

And to add to my comment, even if he didn't fuck her its pretty weird of him to say he did, and then text from a fake account. Red flags all around.

Well who knows for sure, if he didn't that means he gave your number to this girl, or she found it some how anyway. I'd have to lean toward him being behind it right now.

Hmm. Yeah so what is the rationale behind doing that instead of just breaking up with me.

>to make you jealous
>because he's crazy
>or there really is his ex stalking him
Neither sounds too good. You should definitely ask him about what's going on.

He says it was Sally but idk. I just don't want him to do the same to me.

Talk to her you dolt. Of course something is up.

He told her he was still in love with her when he was drunk in order to get back in her pants. She saw his phone and realized he was full of shit. That's why he doesn't want you two talking. You will both realize what a cad he is and then he'll have neither of you.

Text her back and be honest about your side.

I mean...what is she possibly going to tell me that I want to know? If she's his girlfriend then he will be back with her and it's not my responsibility to answer her questions, it's his.

I already know he's a cad...I'm just wondering if he made this up or it's really her.

Yeah, that's why you should just text her back and see what she says. Take screens if she says anything batshit, but I'd bet money she won't. 99% He's telling you she's crazy so you won't talk to her and find out what's going on.

He may not have even been that drunk, just a dick. If he's been hiding you from her, she deserves to know.

Gotta agree with this user, she could turn out to be his current gf.

Well, depending on what texts she read, she already knows.
But he told me he was completely done with her so it's not like I knowingly went in and hooked up with the dude who had a girlfriend.

I appreciate your advice and maybe if I were different I would respond but my first instinct was to block her.

If they want to get back together that's between them right.

Thanks for all your help anons.

Okay, but I feel like you're doing her a disservice and enabling him to be a manipulative asshole.

I would want to text her just out of curiosity even if not help, but that's me. If you're okay with this situation then whatever, move along.

I can understand if she said it was his wife, but I'm pretty sure it's his ex girlfriend who supposedly already knows he and I are friends/chatting.
If it really is some other woman who is his girlfriend then OK but if she saw our messages then bully to her.
I feel like whatever questions she has need to be addressed by the guy in this situation, not a stranger.

I was more concerned with like...is this psychotic lady going to text me again or show up at my apartment and hope to throttle me.
I'm not the one who cheated on her.

Personally I don't like when the woman blames the other woman for the cheating, even if one is a vile temptress. The man is the person who cheated on you, not some hapless woman who in this case was just trying to reunite with an old flame.

>Personally I don't like when the woman blames the other woman for the cheating, even if one is a vile temptress.

I agree and it's precisely why I suggested texting her back. She's likely not trying to blame you, just figure out wtf is going on.

I think what the fuck is going on is...we are both interested in the same guy so she needs to ask him right?

Assuming it's not a fake joke text.

I think what's going on is he's lying to both of you and she wants to know where she really stands with him. You don't seem to give a shit though so it doesn't really matter. More and more it sounds like you're getting what you deserve.

Wait...how am I getting what I deserve? I knew he had an EX girlfriend who he said he was completely through with, and he knew I had an ex boyfriend who I hadn't slept with in almost a year.
If someone comes in after the fact and says hey wait a minute, that's my boyfriend, she really needs to talk to him, not me.
I can't explain to her why her supposed boyfriend decided to hook up with me if he really is together with her. I'm not saying it's ok for him to hook up with me if he has a girlfriend.

If it's just his ex girlfriend who is jealous/mad then I really can't help.

Even if I was nice to her and said.. listen lady he didn't tell me about you, whoever you are, she would have no reason to believe me as I'm a complete stranger to both supposed Jill the supposed girlfriend and Sally the real ex-girlfriend.

This is different than "I tried to steal him from Sally/Jill knowing he was in a committed relationship,"

>Wait...how am I getting what I deserve?
because everything you've said that he's done reeks of bullshit and dishonesty. He is telling you she is crazy, and if she texts you to ignore it and that sounds incredibly fishy. From the text she sent you it sounds like she thinks it's fishy as well.

You're getting what you deserve because you are believing what he says at face value and not even considering to hear what the other woman is curious about.

She probably likely would believe you if you said he hadn't told you anything about her. Because that's what she already suspects.

It literally sounds like she just is trying to suss out just how much of a cad this guy is, and you are playing along with him to protect her knowing anything.

But you won't even respond to hear what she has to say. Sorry, but you're a fucking fool.

>It literally sounds like she just is trying to suss out just how much of a cad this guy is
Then can't she tell from the text messages that she believes the person she's interested in that he's talking to/hooking up with other girls.

I can see why you might conclude I'm 'protecting' him but it isn't really about him...it's about me. I didn't know about this supposed girlfriend other than an ex girlfriend.

I guess I learned my lesson as far as getting busy with someone who once dated someone else?

I mean this would be different if I was cognizant of the cheating.

If the genders were reversed and my ex boyfriend texted him and said...hey I read your text message and I have questions for you, I think the expectations would be different right?

I think you're still stuck up on the notion that she's trying to blame you for what happened, as opposed to just figure out what happened. Obviously the text messages she saw were revealing but there's still a lot she doesn't know.

And her talking to him isn't really going to help because it sounds like he's been lying about shit already.

>I guess I learned my lesson as far as getting busy with someone who once dated someone else?

Not at all, there's nothing wrong with that, and nothing at all wrong with what you did. The only thing wrong is that you're protecting yourself from having to deal with it and let this poor woman know what was really going on.

>If the genders were reversed and my ex boyfriend texted him and said...hey I read your text message and I have questions for you, I think the expectations would be different right?

Not in my opinion, no. It would be the same thing. Gender really isn't the issue here.

Well yes but that's assuming that this really is a current girlfriend... And not the ex-girlfriend that has been supposedly calling and texting him Non-Stop.

To me she is a complete stranger and I don't really want to tell her my business about whether I hooked up with this guy or what we text about. If he chooses to tell her what he did I guess that's up to him or let her into his phone to see text messages from other people.

I guess texting another woman would be the furthest thing from my Approach.

I remember about 3 months ago he said that Sally wanted to talk to me and I told him no.

I dunno dude. Maybe it is all complete bullshit whether it's his ex or current or him playing a joke on me I don't know.

I don't think people would joke around about calling the police on someone and saying someone is basically harassing them. I mean I can understand if someone said this person is crazy and won't stop calling.

I'm talking about getting a restraining order or police report on someone to me is the next level of seriousness.

>I don't think people would joke around about calling the police on someone and saying someone is basically harassing them.

It's not a joke. It's a lie. A lie so you won't talk to her because he knows how much shit would hit the fan if the various women he's been juggling talked to each other about all the bullshit he's been spreading.

And you bought it hook line and sinker. I feel bad for the woman who reached out to you. I think you're a fucking moron.

Deepika padukone

I didn't think he was Joe Innocent, I just wasn't aware that he either had a 'girlfriend' or wasn't through with this chick.

I mean do most hookups end with crazy exgirlfriends texting you? In all the years I've been dating, I've managed to avoid having crazy exgirlfriends texting me so I'm still at a loss.

He was caught cheating with you and now he's trying to cover his tracks. Run away from this mess.

Doesn't seem like you will though... you don't seem that interested in seeing what's right in front of you.

>I mean do most hookups end with crazy exgirlfriends texting you?

She's likely not even crazy, that's what I've been trying to get through to you. But you took this guy's word (who you already know both cheats and lies) at face value and won't even think to hear what she had to say. Like I said, I think you're an idiot, but it's your life.

I never said he and I were still pursuing anything.

She didn't have anything to say. Her text said she read his phone and had questions for me. If she wanted to say anything other than stake her territory and claim to be this dudes girlfriend she could have sent it in the initial text.
All she said was she's got questions...well I don't have any answers.

Holy fuck you're hopeless.

>I don't have answers
You both are getting played by this nigga. What's so hard to understand? Use some common sense please.

I'm starting to think this is actually a guy doing a big bait thread and acting like the most stereotypically stupid woman possible just for a lark. It's surreal.

Probably. Wouldn't even surprise me anymore.

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At this point in the thread, anything is possible. How anyone could be this dense in real life is amazing to me though.

Why? I don't get it.

No, I'm a girl. And I didn't say it was true love. Just a hookup type deal.

All I did was hookup. Why they can't handle their business I couldn't tell ya.

Well you're acting so much like the way the kissless virgins of Jow Forums say women act (stupid, irrational, selfish) and I know from experience most are not like that at all, do it was a good guess. But hey, stereotypes have to start somewhere right?

I don't know how anything I did was selfish. I hooked up with a guy and had a few minutes of pleasure. Then a couple of days later he hooked up with someone else and that person texts me with questions. She already got all she needs by having sex with the guy, and I'll probably never see either of them.

I don't think I should be subjected to further humiliation by having to answer questions about my text messages with a guy were both into.
I didn't look at his phone. When I was there I just asked straight up for what I wanted. That he didn't deliver is his fault, not the fault of whatever woman he fucks next so how would me texting her for an explanation be rational?

Maybe I'm old fashioned in thinking that whatever happens between a man and a woman, not between a man and woman and whoever breaks into your phone to read your texts.

Like I said...she should address her questions to him...but in theory she can't because he already blocked her.

Fuck you're dumb and no I'm not explaining it to you another time.

I guarantee he was in a relationship while he was fucking you.

Well I think it's silly and petty to name call me. If I had thought he was in a relationship...I would either a) not hooked up with him or b) not come on here for advice about this ex girlfriend popping up.

I think men just want to blame women for everything.

OK well that's a possibility but that's not what I was led to believe.

It's not about whether he was in a relationship or anything bad you did hooking up with him. There's nothing wrong with any if that.

It's that the guy clearly seems to be manipulative and a liar and telling crazy tales that don't make sense. So when someone else reached out, likely just to see how much he'd been lying to her you wouldn't even consider hearing what she wanted to ask.

Again and again you say she should talk to him about it, but she clearly can't trust him. So that's why she reached out to you.

But instead of dealing with even the slight discomfort texting this stranger to give her insight about what's been going on, you accept his crazy tale at face value and ignore her because it's not your problem.

That's why I called you selfish as well as stupid. And genuinely I'm sorry for being harsh, but more genuinely I feel bad for the other woman who's (almost certainly) being lied to and just trying to figure out what's going on.

If you put even 1/50 of the effort you put into this thread talking to her this all could have been figured out. And it's just texting, it's not like you can't simply block her if she is nuts. But I honestly doubt she is.

That's the point. He's very, very, very likely been cheating.

You be a thot
You sow your lot

Well I see what you're saying and if it really is a different girl then he says it is then I understand that.

Like if it really is some random other girlfriend.

But either way it's a stranger to me and my sex life is none of her business.

I think more likely than not it's either him f****** with my mind or it's the crazy lady texting me.

I posted this red to kind of get an idea if people thought it seems like what he was saying was true or if he really did have some other girlfriends that he wasn't telling me about.

I would say it is more about cowardice than selfishness. Also the stuff that we texted each other was of a sexual nature and I don't really want to discuss that with the third party.

I mean when you send a text message there's some presumption of privacy you know that it's possible for it to be copied or forwarded or read by someone else but when you're talking dirty to your lover you aren't really making it for an audience.

I've seen an ex boyfriends messages before looking in his phone. My response wasn't to text them from my number so I guess it all seems really nonsensical to me.

My Approach is to confront the party at fault or just to break up with him because I know he's a cheater

The other thing is he told me that he told Sally that he and I hooked up and then and Sally hooked up after that fact so I don't know why she's coming to me.

A huh?