Talking to (sophisticated) Women

I haven't been in/on the dating scene in Years, and there's a French girl (and I only speak American-English) that I want to... see where it can go (preferably permanently).

We've never met (only and texting only) but I've done my research and know I'm not being CatFished or whatever.
I've already said some stuff that could come off as Possibly desperate or needy but I'm in more than decent shape physically, I just don't want to seem toolish, desperate or like a stalker.

I've already made some moves (as far as "moves" can go through chatting/writing) and possibly gained some ground just not sure what to do next.

More details available.

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Ask her out?

I did, she claims to not be feeling well, but she's the one who got back in touch after some time. I know her work is busy.
A friend suggested that she was catfishing me so I did a little research and sent flowers to her work, she did respond so, there's that.

This has been going on now for about 2 1/2 weeks. So it's frustrating. not sure if I'm supposed to just give up but I have a feeling about her, miss-placed or not, it's there.

What the flying fuck?

>never met
>been texting for a whole 2 weeks
>sent flowers to her work

That's creepy as fuck.

So no advice or you just don't like the style, lol?

So no advice or you just don't like the style, lol?

lmao nigga really be sending fowers to a tinder match at work

holy fuck ahahahahahahah

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Again that's not advice, just an excuse to say "nigga".

he to much of a pussy ass nigga to say the word nigger, little cunt-ass bitch.

I would never even think about seriously dating you, but only keep it alive as long as needed to fade out out of fear you're going to just stalk me. Fucking creeper. Fucking with the work envoirement is a red fucking flag for anybody. Imagine what she had to tell her coworkers.
>ah yes, that has to be that random freak from that fuck app which has stalked me and made a scene on here
>thehe
You're so much of an retard, it's hard to believe. You already fucked up. You NEVER fuck with work. Especially not through showing that you stalked her. FFS. You are a desperate stalker already lmfao.

Shit you done' aren't "moves". Good lord have mercy on your dick.

t. woman experienched with online dating and stalkers

Moves as in things that I've said, she mentioned where she worked several times, and why would I want to date someone who seems to have difficulty string together sentences like you seem to?
"Fuck with work" Ha!

Sending flowers to her work place was not a bright move but I guess there's no helping it now

Ask her out directly, say "I want to go out on a date with you. Are you free this weekend" if she likes you she'll say yes, if she doesn't she'll say no and you'll just be able to move on or just jerk off to her online pictures, whatever you fancy

Listen. you just don't interact with work, retard. That's like the 101 of dating. Just because someone tells you where one works, it isn't an invitation to go out of your way and fucking annoy the reception and make a scene with her collegues like a tard sending fucking flowers. That'S something you can do on your anniversary beeing long time married, not as a strange freak from a fuck app. Don't you people have at least a little bit of soft skills?

You can shit all you want on my english, I'm a Kraut writing in my third language at 6am. The fact that you feld the need to go that way, shows that you actually understand where you fucked up and instead of facing it, you want to save your face this ridiculous way.

I'm telling you from the position of a experienched eurofemale how this shit makes you look and that I wouldn't want to meet you either, giving out more information and risking getting mor cringy shit send to work or family.

Just don't do this shit ever again. If you want to check for catfishing just ring through at her work and act like a client which has forgotten her direct number. But than again, that would require like 2 brain cells.

We were writing and then stopped for sometime (at least 2 months) and then about 2 /12 weeks ago she messaged me and obviously, we started talking again.
I have asked her out we just haven't been able to be free at the same time.
She claims to be feeling sick, I sent the flowers to her work just saying (on the card) that I was sorry our schedules hadn't aligned.
She wrote back and thanked me twice in the same message and said that a colleague brought her the flowers because she missed work.
I haven't responded because I do feel a little off about this entire situation...

First off Catfishing wouldn't be proven nor diss-proven by calling someone on the phone. Her pictures are all over the internet due to her position adn job-type/field. Sending the flowers unannounced proved that this is definetly the girl in the pictures in the job.
Creepy or not, I have to explain cat fishing to you.
You take a photo and pretend to be someone else, that person could be a real individual, using that person's real name/identity.
2nd, again you don't seem like my type because of you candor, but if you have something inteligent to say feel free to do so at any time.

3rd, it's a paid dating site, sure sill a fuck-site (only because they all truly are) but non-the-less, not tinder or pof.

I know how catfishing works. You still would get the number and be able to hear her voice, which you hopefully already have. Oterwise just skiype like normal people unable to actuyll meet IRL. All my points still stand. What you did was retarded beyond believe, as nearly all other anons have pointed out. Don't expect anything from her at this point and don't do it again.

Thats all the advice anybody on a taiwanese sock knitting forum can give you.

Sending flowers may have been a stretch and I've been in committed relationships for over the last decade, and back then "fuck-sites" (as you put it) were just starting up and not looked upon as... main-stream.
So the dating world has changed some.
I certainly wouldn't send flowers twice to the same person without something extreme happening between us in between; but at this point it's your belief that she's just dwindling down the time and my interests by responding to me?

Not saying it's out of the realm of possibilities but why not just say what you're feeling and or block the number and stop responding all together?

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>it's your belief that she's just dwindling down the time and my interests by responding to me?
That what I would do when faced with such an action. I would be nice and chat ofurther only to make it fade away, as to not make you a long-time stalker, as I have gotten one like that through similar stuff. When you crash the dreams of such people, they go nuts. You go along, just with less enthuisiasm and shorter replies. Any sane woman will do that, because if shit hits the fan a woman can't protect herself through physical means, which is why we will go and try to defuse the bomb in this way.

I'm nearly 30, for referance, so I do know how the whole stuff came about. But online hook ups have always been regarded just slightly better than sex hotlines. Back then more than today, todays generation just embraced the ONS nature of it. Just stick to RL, if you'Re not the 9.5/10 you will not find a good match online for anything more than that. Women online can be insanely picky due to the sear numbers of males. The reasons why she stopped writting you once already? She has gotten a better match and you're just the side cuck to come back if chad doesn't deliver.

Perhaps,
I do realize her job is demanding and we're up north in N.Y. very close to Canada and getting a cold here at this time is very common but I have felt skeptical.
I know she was fairly fresh out of a relationship and I most certainly am as well (6 years) and it was back and forth there at the end.

I hope she hasn't been through the experiences you've preluded to, and I hope you don't have to go through anything similar again.
I am 37 and she is 32 (if her bio is fully true, which I believe it is).

Her responses haven't been short but more spaced out, as if she's using a side line, which wouldn't surprise me nor would I be offended by it.

I don't know, I just want to believe that everything she's saying is true and that it could still work out in some fashion. If not it sucks but there are pliantly more out there, I suppose. I just got tangled up with what she's said and the way it was delivered. He messages were sparse: in that she would talk and talk and then stop.

He job requires quite a bit of research and over-time so...

And I would rate at at least an 8+, much higher if my hair were not fu

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I agree with this dude

>We've never met
>know I'm not being CatFished or whatever.

you sound extremely desperate,

Nevertheless, you should pursue this.

Remember be aggressive about making yourself do what needs to be done, and be assertive when communicating what you want/need.

Good luck user

I dont know how people are succeseful getting women out of the internet... Seems almost impossible even if you approach her in real life and then text over internet, and without real life it seems unreal for me...

Well, I wish you luck but I seriously would out more IRL. Why don't you attend some speed dates in a similar age range? That would be much better and you could be more sure that the woman wants something more than just a ONS or to click through some chads for ego.
Just for comparison, I'm a good 8 or 9 depending on what one lines and I could literally pick any guy on any given dating side without trying while IRL I have to actually be interesting and do well in conversation. And from my personal experience I would not advice you to spend to much energy on a woman which has already prolly made you the second or third place, prolly still waiting for a chad to come around. Chances are that she writes with you mainly for ego and you aren't really what she is looking for, otherwise she would go out of her way to find time for a short date. There is no reason why you couldn't meet up for lunch or dinner after work. Well, there isn't if both really want it.

Just don't get your heart broken by a woman you barely know. Expect nothing, so you can only get pleasnly surprised.

Flowers were sent/received today,
Card read:

"Hello, (Her First Name) :) I hope this delivery finds you well. I apologize that our schedules have not lined up. Hopefully this brightens up your week ;)
(Signed with my name and phone number)"

she sent one message, through text that reads as follows:

"Hello, (My First Name) thanks for the flowers! A colleague brought them home to me today, I've been sick all week again.
They did brighten my day.
Thank you so much "

I haven't responded. And it's been about 5 hours and it's night here.

Well, I've included what was on the card and what she said. If everything she's saying is true than she is very busy and currently has a cold.
I just don't know what my next move with her should be.

I am thinking to say something along the lines of:
"I felt a little off sending flowers to your work but wanted to do something nice and make sure I got your attention. I'm not really a chaser and you've already gotten me to break a few of my own rules.
I hope you feel better soon and if you want to make a time to meet up I will do what I can to be available.
Otherwise I feel like I should take a step back.
Unless you would like to start speaking more frequently".

>I felt a little off sending flowers to your work but wanted to do something nice and make sure I got your attention.
>I'm not really a chaser and you've already gotten me to break a few of my own rules.
>Unless you would like to start speaking more frequently
I'll translate into what I would understand the meta to be:
>He used me beeing ill to get my foot in the door
>He's not expereinced enough to know how this works
>He will break my own liferules and prolly even more for a woman he barely knows
>He likes me, I don't have to really therefore put anymore effort into it
Now she can be sure she has you as a safe back up and doesn't has to try to bring much more to the table.


>I hope you feel better soon and if you want to make a time to meet up I will do what I can to be available.
Translates too:
>He will let me make all the decisions, I don't have to struggle to keep up

Here what I would suggest. Don't excuse yourself. Be sure of yoursefl, even if you aren't really. Do you knwo her schedule roughly? If yes, make a clear date. If need be make it a sunday, she she can't cancel.

"I hope you get well soon, as I have a reservation for dinner at X place such-and-such o'clock and would like you to acompany me.
Rest well and till later."

No excuses, no cuckery giving her ll the decision making power. Make your goals clear and formulat in a clear manner. She will get better within 10 days and if she can't free 2hours in a fully weekend, you simply aren't a priority.

My god,people think like this?

Woman do. Sorry to tell you.

as french culture goes, offering flowers to a person you recently know is cheeky, the person on the other might take it as creepy or you want something from her

but if she knows you're not french, she might think it's cute

tell her about your peepee

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That is kinda sad.Hope she gets some free time.

So, Ive included 3 texts that were sent previously to the "flower incident" (Lol) and I've said similar. She seems to just want to get coffee or a drink first, assuming incase the situation is not... cheerful, or whatever.

Maybe I'ma complete noob, but I'd like to think not.

Honestly, user. What do you want with a woman which is 30 years old and can't even think of a time for a date? Do you think that will magically change once she likes you? Ask yourself what you want from your own future, because I see nothing that would make me want t continue such a relationship.

Also cut out those smilies, that's a woman thing. I like to think as my man as stronk and masculine not drawing smiling faces, especially such retardedly animated ones.

that's a clear NO, user
she's not interested

Lmao, you're a trip!
Maybe I should send flowers to your work, Lol

Yeah, in my fairy-tale version there would be more time on weekends and nights. She probably wants to make a good impression and that's why she's waiting till she fully recovers from this cold. Like I said this is what I'm hoping what is.

And I guess I'm not user anymore considering I clearly revealed my name is Brian in the texts ;)

I really don't know why I'm stuck on her...

Why play it out and keep writing/responding. There's nothing that ties us together, no reason for her to not block, or stop messaging.

In some ways that would be nice (not really) but at least it would be finite. People need to just be completely upfront and honest. Raw.

Well, first off, you'Re freshly out of a LTR. That's not how to throw youryefl out into the market. First you need to figure out what you want. Stop dreaming for your own sake. "Business woman" are a horror to work with and even worse in private live. If they don't whore their way up they consider their work their baby. Don't even think a dick can get between the two.

Do you want a woman to get kids with?
Do you want her to be family orintated?
Do you want her to have enough time on her hand to spend with nice stuff like hiking or going out?
Can you affort this stuff on a single income?
etc.

Go on, but don't expect anything. She is prolly not what you want, but the first fish that bite the bait. So far she isn't anything special beyond beeing the first one here. As I said, IRL dating is what you need to check out. You can consider her a back up. At least that will be a common thing between you two.

Ever heard of "friends" before?

How can you determine as to whether you're not being catfished? We live in an age where you can converse through a visual stimuli (webcam/phone cam) regardless of location.

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I've went out on around 8 crap dates in the last 2 1/2 months. They were mostly crap and none were keepers by my standards. I am fairly picky. I don't mind girls who break the law just prefer non smoker, non drinkers.

I guess the question is how long should I wait to respond and what should be said at this point?

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OP is clearly a fedora tipper at this point

The flowers were sent to her work, she did not give me the work address or floor and room, I got that off the site page that confirmed who she was by name and photos.
I didn't tell her (or the person I was texting) that flowers would be sent, the person I had been texting thanked me for said flowers.
Therefore pictures, job, and texter are one.

I don't think you can make it worse. Just tell her when you got time, and if she can't make it, write her off.

Women are people too. Just ask her if she wants to go grab a coffee or go for a smoke if she is a smoker.

You dont need much to get started with a woman. Just be a decent human being and treat her like a decent human being, not some intergalactic deity made out of gold.
Girls, sure they like being treated like some intergalactic deity, but real woman prefer real stuff. Like going for a smoke, or hitting an newly opened fast-food.

I dont know whats with women and food, but I can guarantee you that down-to-earth women will prefer most of the times to go eat something rather than get some posh flowers. Yea, you got to buy flowers, but remember that women are people too. And I know that some certain bearded women wont agree with me.

Furthermore, whats with women and garlic and garlic sauce? Most women flock towards food with garlic sauce. Not that I really care, I am just genuienly curious.

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Man, I feel really bad reading all your texts. In a way that you're taking it too hard, being too needy, thinking about it too much, while she's just writes you off. You don't do things like write her your whole schedule. If she declined when you asked her out the first time, just say that it's alright that she can't go, that you'd still like to meet up for drinks or whatever and she'll let you know IF she liked you when she'll be free. You don't keep asking her out. She's supposed to contact you now. You're just keeping chasing her. That is a turn off for women. It's like you have nothing better to do, just worrying about every little detail and how you should respond. Man, you need to have a bigger goal in life. You need to have your own purpose and don't worry about other girls this much, have some self worth and self confidence. Anyway, I'd cut off the chatting with her. I'd reply to her last messages with whatever and close up with that I'd still love to invite her on a date and she could write if she'll feel like meeting up and we'll work out the schedules. That's it. If she would just want to chat on the net, I'd say that I'm not interested in that. Be prepared to leave, man.

I just read this message with the voice of Krog (
Top 500
Taika Waititi) from Thor: Ragnarok, and awesome relevant picture btw! Lol
I feel like you missed a few of the messages above though. I think it's just time to close this one out soon because she's not available, says she's sick for about a week now, and doesn't message for a day or so and then messages a bit at once.
I just want to compose everything properly, not seem like a dick, or needy, even though that boat (needy) many have passed.

Update

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Hey, stay away, different mentality big time ! Just look Johnny Depp

So, leave it cold? How long?