I just need to know of any coping mechanisms about this, we literally went from talking and FaceTiming to 4am almost every day (at her discretion) to being stood up for our first actual date without any explanation. I know I’ll get over it but this legitimately hit me harder than when me and my long term girlfriend and I broke up after 2 years.
So I guess, any advice?
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
I deleted my Facebook and avoid people as much as possible
Don't turn to booze or drugs. Been there, done that. It numbs the pain but it also numbs everything else. It numbs joy, happiness, excitement, everything. Find things you like to do. Find something that keeps you grounded and dive into it. Lose yourself in it.
people wise, even after talking and meeting people. I never set my expectations high.
I guess the problem is your understanding of what went wrong. You focus on your ego, while the thing is that you've dealt with a stupid bitch who didn't really care about you for you to care that much back. Just repeat this to yourself each time you start feeling sad about it. And actually move on, take some action and try to talk to other women.
Remember that there is nothing you could have done differently. She would have ghosted you anyway. She's a shitty person, move on.
Had a similar recently OP. I turn to music (listening and playing) to make something concrete out of this abstract feel.
youtube.com
I hardly use social media desu to begin with, I don’t hate people. I just hate the feeling of no longer speaking to someone I thoroughly enjoyed taking to (and I hoped the feeling was mutual)
Yeah usually I’m pretty level headed but this was the first time I’ve ever legitimately got excited at the prospect of meeting someone. Like I was so nervous before the date and then she just never came through and I felt terrible, and hoped the silence she was giving me that day was just because she was busy. Also I only drink with friends so I should be ok.
I’ve actually been trying this and it’s kind of worked, it’s just other times I then think of the positive conversations we’ve had. It doesn’t help that I’m now literally comparing her to other girls I’ve started talking too.
Probably right, I think I may have fucked up a bit a day or two before the date itself, but if one mistake is enough to turn someone away after 1.5 weeks of talking nonstop you’re probably right.
Music is a huge help, I prefer using high energy sad boy punk to cope since sad songs just make me wallow but solid advice my friend
Thanks everybody so far.
>how do i cope with getting ghosted
You literally don't put all your eggs in one basket. You talk to many girls at once and anticipate a percentage of them to ghost you. This doesn't mean you don't feel a little sad when you get ghosted by one you liked, but it's not catastrophic.
Also don't get as emotionally invested as that (i.e., facetiming all night) before going on your first date.
>Talking to a girl 24-7 before even going on a first date
You shot yourself in the foot by being a beta orbiter.
I normally do, in fact I was, I just mentally started to really attach myself to this particular person. This felt like a whole other level of ghosting desu, not the typical which I expect to occur. Also yeah, hindsight 20/20.
>24/7
>beta orbiter
Far from it desu, she knew full well my intentions and she regularly complimented my looks during snap chats. She just bailed last minute with no explanation, it wasn’t like I was on her beck and call, we both worked high intensity jobs so we could only talk late at night until the morning.
> (at her discretion)
You sound like a mentally ill omega, no wonder she stood you up.
As in I never faced timed her, she initiated them you fucking mong. Jesus Christ
You still were readily available to talk. She enjoyed the attention then found someone she liked better. Nothing means shit if you didn't meet her.
I unironically lol’d
I got ghosted twice. I learned to not even bother with people like that. Immediately discard any thoughts about them and move on. Do not contact them in any way, and do not give them an ounce of attention. Girl's who do that don't give two shits about you. I had one I was talking to for a few months do that to me recently. She tries as hard as possible not to look at me or even talk to me for whatever reason despite us being cool just the week prior. I don't understand why, but I do know that at that point you just give up and move on. You don't want people like that in your life. I learned my lesson after the first girl, user, and you'll feel much much worse if you keep trying to go after her and fix things. She isn't worth it.
Oh I’ve blocked her out completely, deleted her number, Snapchat, even removed her as a tinder match. Now it’s just trying to move past the “memories” (I know there weren’t any real ones, but you get where I’m going with it). But yes user, thank you for the advice, you and some of the others have helped me reach that general consensus. I’d post pornography to thank you guys but I can’t because it’s a blue board.
And in all honesty, just being able to vent about his openly without people shitting on me/making comments helps as well.
Venting helps a lot. We can block people all we want, but the memories and feelings attached to them are the hardest to get rid of. Eventually they'll fade and you'll forget those feelings. Some things that help me are talking to more girls and just improving myself in some way. You'll find someone worth the time at some point man, just take all these experiences and learn from them like I'm trying to.
>Oh I’ve blocked her out completely, deleted her number, Snapchat, even removed her as a tinder match.
Wew.
Move On OP. It fucking hurts; but so does a lot of shit in life. Don't waste a second dwelling on it. She's probably a shitty person anyway; you deserve better.
