im in my 20's currently and i haven't had first kiss yet, much less hugged someone from the opposite sex that wasn't my dad or brother etc. I've fallen head over heels for this cute russian guy at work. We first met a while back when he was new and my boss asked me to get him introduced to the rest of our coworkers. Now at the time I was sleep deprived so I wasn't necessarily paying close attention to him. Skip to a few days later and I realize i'm lovesick for this guy after he asks me for some paperwork and for literally no reason at all, i get choked up and teary eyed and burst out crying while getting the documents together. This has become a serious problem since that incident. I can't work properly with him and now he's becoming distant because he doesn't quite know how to handle it, and I cant blame him. It's getting to the point where I'm losing sleep and I'm developing nervous ticks about it, along with increasingly sexual thoughts. Every time I even hear him speak i feel super nauseous and have to excuse myself. My boss is very concerned and I'm too scared to talk to anyone and explain my problem. I currently struggle with General Anxiety Disorder and have very low self esteem. Recently he invited me and a few of our coworkers out for drinks and I am honestly a nervous wreck over it. He is my first crush ever and I don't know how to control myself.
TL;DR I cant help crying around my first crush ever and i have a crushingly high sex drive ever since ive gotten acquainted with him.
You’re gonna wind up in a disappointing one-night-stand if you don’t calm the hell down.
Liam Foster
Op here. I know i've got a problem and I don't really have family i can currently talk to about this issue. Is my situation dire enough to see a therapist or am i just a spineless chicken shit blowing stuff out of proportion because GAD has me fucked over
Angel Howard
Mostly you’re freaking out. Are you about to start your period? Go masturbate if that’ll calm you down.
I mean, if anxiety is a problem you absolutely could go get therapy. But for now you gotta chill.
Joshua Stewart
Maybe for her, but fucking crazy chics is the best sex ever.
Lucas Cruz
Not about to start my period but i've been masturbating to the point where it hurts and I've had to lay off. Im going to try and get a session with a therapist in before the get together. Breathing exercises and brushing my hair seem to work best as stress relievers.
Elijah Thomas
Start smoking cigarettes. Really helps you relax.
Jackson Sanders
>before the get together Wow that’s short notice. What do you expect to happen in one session??
Jose Collins
Try texting him if you have his number for something relating to you guys' work. Ask about work events or some miscellaneous shit. at least try and get him to think of you as someone who doesnt come off as a complete autist
Gabriel Thomas
>to the point where it hurts and I've had to lay off Don’t give yourself a UTI.
Dominic Perez
I'm not really sure but i'm pretty desperate at this point to get any and all help i can in such a short amount of time to at least come off as amiable.
Matthew Ramirez
I think OP would collapse if this guy texted her. Is your pussy gonna be good by the get together? I mean, if one thing leads to another are you gonna be good to go if it’s time for sexy time with ‘ol Vlad?
Joseph White
Therapy doesn’t really work that way.
Carter Harris
Even if one thing led to another I'd be crying on his dick the whole time I kind of had a feeling that its too late for it to be effective, but I guess I could still go to get a few pointers? i havent been to therapy in so long i kind of forgot what to expect.
Angel Morgan
>I'd be crying on his dick the whole time Eh maybe. I think you need something a little lower speed.
Chase Thomas
When you go out for drinks with the dude try and subtly impress him. Maybe he'll make the first move and you wont feel so damn skittish
Nolan Sullivan
Think OP kinda needs this guy to take a pass on her. If they fuck I think she’s gonna be scarred for life, the way she’s acting.
Jonathan Sanders
Print out a picture of Steve Buscemi on A4 paper and tape it to your wall. Every time you think of your crush stare really hard at the Buscemi picture and try to think of Steve instead.
When you see the guy at work again you will begin to associate said actor with him. Instead of ruminating on bad thoughts you may begin to focus on Steve's roles in classic films like Fargo, The Big Labowski and The Matrix. A pleasant yet mindful feeling will envelop you as you are soothed by the memory of great acting and comedic timing.
Eli Foster
If you want this relationship to even start and go anywhere you gotta try and get over the crying bit. You really don't want to come off as insecure and nervous. Hype yourself up and say hello to him. The worst that can happen is that he only sees you as a friend. If you've survived this long without a boyfriend im sure this wont kill you.
Dylan Hill
>Steve Buscemi >The Matrix You dick, you made me check.
Parker Sullivan
Couldn't think of worse advice. What a board.
Nathaniel Miller
Oh I could think of much worse advice.
Luis Thomas
You could actually do this and associate all the fear with comedy. You have the potential to turn this around. Has he shown any interest in you?
Jonathan Allen
I mean, I have been smoking for 6 years and Im relaxed as shit all the time.
Christopher Morgan
Yes I think a therapist is a good idea, and for now try to put it in your head that you aren't ready for a relationship and you aren't going to hook up with this guy. Maybe that will take some of the pressure off until you can work on yourself. I take medication for anxiety. Also meditation is very helpful and positive affirmations seem silly but really are good for your self esteem. Also maybe try smoking some pot and chill out a little bit.
David Cook
Nicotine is a stimulant, it will just amplify her anxiety.
Luis Sanchez
OP here. Yes and no? I've overheard him call me 'fun sized' before because im very short (I'm barely 5'0) Though i dont really know if this would count as taking interest? I'm bad at reading people.
Jason Perry
Anxious people shouldn't smoke pot. She'll just have a panic attack and end up being worse.
Michael Nelson
It’s meaningless, kinda cute though. >tfw no anxious short gf
Easton Cox
What exactly do you find attractive about him?
Jaxson Morris
I’d put money on accent and proximity.
Christopher Phillips
he's generally very sweet and easy to get along with. He's also got a pretty good sense of humor and is a little bit shy. He's a lot bigger than me (he's almost 6'6) and i kinda sort of get weak in the knees at his accent. Plus he's a hard worker and I sit next to him in meetings and he smells really good. I sperg out about him so much it's not even funny.
Parker Carter
>6’6” >5’0” I wonder how tall your kids would be.
Jaxson Baker
keep talking like that and you're going to make OP cry again
Jason Bailey
Not quite that extreme but mom is 5'7" and my dad is 6'9". My sister ended up 6'1" and I ended up 6'3" genes is wierd
Chase Diaz
Try to place yourself in a position that feels non threatening. Maybe work up the courage and ask you boss to seat you by him during meetings or some shit. Just try and get comfortable with him bit by bit. It's all about baby steps.
Xavier James
Hey OP, imagine if at the next meeting he put his hand on your thigh to calm you down, because he thought your spergy movements were you panicking about the meeting?
Brandon Turner
If he gives you a friendly hug when you show up at the get together, you’re gonna hug him back right? Sucks to get left hanging!
Sebastian Kelly
OP here. I think about this all the time. I've almost contemplated sometimes brushing against him "on accident" just so i could feel some sort of physical contact but i've always chimped out when the opportunity arose.
Joshua Richardson
I'm definitely going to make an effort to prepare for a situation like that just in case he'd randomly want to make physical contact.
Samuel Murphy
You are now imagining him patting you on the head, his big hand gently caressing your hair.
Chase Foster
If OP does happen to get a good dicking, how the hell is she going to sit properly at those meetings anyway?
Asher Long
You have to get your shit sorted if you want to be with him. Being with him doesn't dictate a one-night-stand; if he's even down for a one-night-stand, then he's not the kind of guy you should want, anyway.
Go to therapy with the intention of fixing your issue. Talk to your therapist about it like you are with us. They'll actually help you, instead of telling you to smoke your problems away.
Carter Young
On his lap, with her head tucked right under his chin.
Jace Long
>advising someone to start smoking come on man
Samuel White
!!!! Thank user. Posting in this thread made me feel a lot better and I do plan to start seeing a therapist. (Possibly regularly)
Leo Hall
If you keep acting like this no ones dick is gonna stay hard for you
Kevin Gray
My buddy told me my personality is like Eminem on Guilty Conscience.
Bentley Davis
He’s gonna have to kneel down to kiss you standing up.
Wyatt Murphy
Jesus OP, you sound like a shoujo manga main character.
Elijah James
Poor op is probably shaking right now
Christian Cox
I suspect she’s masturbating desu
Carson Lee
I know I am
Kevin James
Let’s be real OP has the potential to be a fleshlight with feelings to this guy
Chase Murphy
>no small nervous gf to snuggle with Why live
Aaron Jackson
You are now imagining him smelling your hair while cuddling you from behind.
Josiah Green
>no girl will ever think about me this way
Brody Cox
Hey OP, how many babies do you think he wants? Do you think he would rather have boys or girls?
Nicholas Ross
>tfw short nervous OP disappears Just like all the other women in my life...
Leo Evans
I was going to come in here with my usual treatment, but I can see that you're a lost cause. If this Russian has blood worth anything, he'll see right through you and tell you to fuck off--although it's more likely that he'll simply use you.
Adam Diaz
just ask him to fuck
Leo Robinson
Aw come on lH, give her the usual.
Carson Johnson
ok Don't do it, OP. If this guy cares about you, he won't push you for sex as long as you explain why you're waiting.
psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-25811-011 >"Both structural equation and group comparison analyses demonstrated that sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes, even when controlling for education, the number of sexual partners, religiosity, and relationship length."
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00996.x/abstract >Bivariate results suggested that delaying sexual involvement was associated with higher relationship quality across several dimensions. The multivariate results indicated that the speed of entry into sexual relationships was negatively associated with marital quality, but only among women."
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x/abstract >"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution."
Just jumping into this thread without reading much...
Citations without insults and derogatory terms!?
I've fought you before literally Hitler. Seems you've learned and grown.
Differences of opinion sources and interpretation aside.... Good man! You're growing.
Ethan Johnson
>plebbit spacing There was no immediate need for insults in this case.
David Lopez
Don't you reddit spacing me. It's easier to read. I've never posted on Reddit in my life.
There is never a need for insults. It's a compliment from an opponent. Take it. If you're trying to drive a point, no matter how right you are, if you result to insults, only those who agree with you will side with you.
The opposing end will dig in deeper and double down on ignorance.
You're more effective when you don't insult.
If you understand that and you still act that way you aren't fighting for a cause. You're patting your own back and feeding your own ego. That's all.
You're literally getting smarter. C'mon I like you a bit today don't be antagonising.
Grayson Gomez
JUST
U
S
T
Xavier Hall
>ywn have a super short nervous girl post on Jow Forums worrying about whether you like her FUCK my life.