My s/o tells me some pretty concerning shit about his work life, mostly the women he works with. We work in the same facility. He says that one girl puts makeup on for him and has started dressing more sexy since he started working in the department, then I asked who she was, he got so angry and then lost his shit, proceeding to tell me that I was acting crazy. He then told me he was helping out a woman who was going through a divorce, like I considered it emotional cheating because he lied about texting her outside of work, but I asked who she was and once again he lost his shit. Recently he told me of a girl that flirts with him daily, and that he has decided to be her mentor because she's smart... and I asked WHO and he got mad. Like why tell me if you can't tell me who. We work together so I know anyways and won't say anything but the fact is it seems a bit sketchy... like he is definitely hiding something. He is like a dr. Jackel and mr. Hyde type guy, smooth talking, womanizer at work. Meh guy at home. Need some advice on this situation and how I can get some peace of mind
Boyfriend super secretive
This is what you get for dating disloyal Chads instead of nice sweet robots
No sympathy for you
dump him asap otherwise bait
It sounds to me like you are the jealous one. He tells you these details because he wants to be honest with you. Their names are irrelevant and giving them to you opens a for where you can act out your insecurities.
Based on what you've told us, he sounds manipulative. What prompted him to bring up these other women? Boasting? Did he find it annoying? Set the scene here
He doesn't need to chimp out over it.
>he doesn't need to chimp out over it
Does he know that?
He has his wine. By then he has looser lips, low tolerance. He mentions stuff he probably shouldn't tell me such as, ex girlfriends. Mind games he has played with other women in the past. His views on porn. Usually like darker subjects that would not be spoken of without the help of alcohol. He usually brings up a woman though. We're a generally speaking very attractive couple. He boasts though about the women... like when he brought up the woman that started dressing sexy for him and wearing makeup, he asked me if she was hitting on him or if he was reading into it the wrong way... but like if he was actually focused on work why would he really think of that to begin with. The emotional relationship was another woman who was very insecure after a relationship of hers ended, she was the type that had men at her every whim because of her giant ass. Not too pretty in the face, but very nice booty. He worked very closely with her.. hugging her. Taking her aside to prevent anxiety attacks. Texting her. Even going to our company HR to get her ex transferred because she did not like him. Kinda weird I thought. When I found out about their texting relationship I was disappointed bc he told me that he would never get into a texting relationship outside of work. I didn't even ask him to, he just said.
I feel he is acting on my insecurities to be like one step ahead maybe. Not necessarily be truthful. Because there is a difference between truthful and from seems to be trying to make me feel small.
Another woman he frequently mentions works with him as his peer as they are on the same level. He will spend sometimes an hour talking to her after work... even walk outside with her. I'll be waiting in the car for sometimes an hour for him to finish talking with her. When I tell him he should have come out sooner he tells me I could have left... uhg
>Dr jackel and mr Hyde
>ITT: im a insecure and overly attached train wreck of a women. Please help me justify why my boyfriend is wrong for being a normal human being so i can make up my mind to dump him without actually talking to him about whats wrong.
>I'll be waiting in the car for sometimes an hour for him to finish talking with her. When I tell him he should have come out sooner he tells me I could have left
wow
Sounds like he enjoys the attention.
I have talked to him multiple times.
Sounds like someone probably doesn't have a gf, and probably sucks with women. Troll
OP do you work? Maybe your husband is trying to say something
Yes I do work. I'm actually at the same level as him at our job.
Didn't I kind of make it clear in my original posting that we work together? And what could he possibly be trying to say
Sorry I was only here to be an asshole and didn't read your post fully. It's hard to get a grasp in the situation without knowing it first hand but he sounds like a dick. If it ever gets to the point where his arrogance exceeds your tolerance, leave and leave quickly. Do not hesitate to do so.
Whoops. I just caught that too. You work with him. Do these women know the status? Do he make the status clear to them? If his mind games are too much, or you are feeling devalued... Maybe don't be with him. Especially if he's just 'meh' at home.
nah senpai. Im pretty alright with girls. But you are right at the moment i dont have a girlfriend. But i have had girlfriends like you. That worry too much about the relationships i make with co-workers that may or maynot find interest in me.
The only thing i really could see is that he is feeding off the attention that the girl is giving him but the fact that when you asked who and he went batshit tells me that:
A.) he has some sort of baggage with SO's being in his business all the time
B.) your overbearing and have jealous tendencies.
But neither of those are very clear to tell cause we are only getting your side of the story. which history will tell is not what you want to ask for advice on cause it will more likely then not ruin your shit.
SO like i said before, dont be here trying to justify why hes wrong and get to work trying to figure out what hes after with someone that knows both sides of the story. If you aint going to do that, just break up cause its clearly what you sound like you wanna do dogging on him in this thread.
Or hey since you work with him, and she works there, And your worried. Find out who through other means. And ask her directly:
"Whats up with you and him?"
If shit gets aggressive/ defensive, you have your answer.
You're not really here to give advice it seems. Or else you would have the first time?
And I dont really have to justify myself to you whoever you may be. I came here seeking advice. Not a reason to break up with him. You're right you dont know the whole story user. And I couldn't possibly put it here. That's why being judgmental up front kind of makes you shitty. But this is Jow Forums. So I appreciate those that have voiced their opinions without being dicks.
ahh 2018
Where telling the truth or calling a situation how it is means you're a shitty person.
Finally my time has come.
>how I can get some peace of mind
the way you phrased the whole situation doesnt sound like you wanted advice dispite you saying it. You sounded like you wanted Justification. So I called it how i saw it. Sorry to invade your #safespace.
You don't paint a very good picture of this guy at all. He sounds self centered and absorbed in attention seeking. I can't tell if he is trying to test waters with you to gauge reactions about talking to other women, or what but they you describe it seems like he gives zero fucks about you. Not sure what advice to give other than asking point blank what he expects from you when he goes blabbing on about all the attention he gets from other women. Other than that, stop dating co workers, don't shit where you eat.
The bragging, chimping out seems like he is rubbing it in your face? Can you just tell him your bored about him talking about work, women at work, and get him to just stop talking about it then?
Also if he's not considerate of your time, yes, bring that up also and yes.... Just leave and don't wait for him in the car. He can be as amazing as he wants to these other women but if you aren't content them don't waste your time. I don't mean to say break up. Just be independent and seek other, less frustrating, activities then listening to him chimp.
You started it...
And i dont believe in safe spaces. I'm as right wing as they come. But I'm ending this conversation because you're being petty
Haha this by far is my favorite response. Next time I suppose I will leave him when waiting past 30 minutes and see what happens.
>Mind games he has played with other women in the past
Huge red flag, wtf are you playing at
Get out of this relationship now
The only thing is that I am her boss. Perhaps it is time for me to investigate a little bit. But I will be having a conversation with him soon and end up probably just giving him an ultimatum since he is that kind of guy.
You are literally proving my point. Youre hear for Justification not advice. This is toxic to your relationship. Like i said i have seen this before cause i lived this same shit. I dont know how bad he is, but if you valued your relationship with him you wouldnt be here building yourself up on something you already clearly had your mind made up youre going to do anyway.
The sad fact is, in your future relationships stuff like this wont change. Cause i see the problem with you.
So.... Maybe he's keeping things a secret so that he doesn't blow the confidentiality off what he's heard and has been trying to help with. Stirring the pot at work could mean job insecurity so keep that in mind too.
Here's a test. Forget that his coworkers are all women and switch it to men. How do you preceived the relationship and his actions now?
Exactly the same.
Once again i dont have his side of the story and dont know if this is the full of her side.
Maybe he wants a Bro?
Maybe he wants Female friends or validation outside of his relationship?
Just because hes building a relationship outside of his romantic one doesn't mean hes doing anything inherently wrong. some people are social animals they seek their validation through others. Nothing is wrong with that.
There are alot of red flags but like i said before i see the problem more being with her by her explanation. If i had more information that might change. But for now it is what it is.
Literally girls do this type of stuff all the time.
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to share all the same friends.
The fact that he's even telling you about it means hes obviously proud of what he thinks hes receiving.
All the insta-whores have steady boyfriends.
You say you're working in the same place and you're someones boss so why would he tell you about the name of the girl that giving him alittle attention when it could put yours, his, and her jobs all at risk?
We don't have all the facts here.
>OP is going to cost her and her man their jobs by acting like a conceited jealous heifer
Giving you some perspective from a guy that fucks married women exclusively. I've seen every trick and heard every lie.
If he isn't fucking her yet he will be and he isn't even good at hiding it. You know but won't admit it to yourself, he knows you know but in denial and why he is on the attack to confuse you and make you think you are the crazy.
Why would you want this guy who is openly making a fool of you?