How to raise a sophisticated and calm boy without abusing him or making him a pretentious brat?

Look into astrology and time the conception according to what traits are desired.

If that does not work a history of abuse is better than being pretentious, but that may just be my egos defense mechanism talking.

The main thing is not letting them watch TV or play video-games in large amounts, anything that enables them to just plop in front of it and zone out is a bad thing to intellectual development.

>Let him experience the beauties and horrors of the world alike, thoughtfully (that is, not recklessly or coyly).
We experience value in our lives by the nature of their brevity, but to shield him from the bad and only expose him to good gives him one side of the picture and a lack of understanding; vice versa for the bad, and so with complexity and simplicity, calm with excitement. Each carries their own consequences and variances depending on the severity. The natural relationships of the world as self evident and gained through experience, so the sophistication will come in time. Just remember, he's still a boy, your son or not, and he'll come into his own inevitably. I'd think it wise to allow him to do that while his parent(s) are alive, to share those moments, and minimize the risks of regret and resentment in his later life, but that will depend a lot on you and your partner as parents, and his own decisions.

You can train him to be one way, and that's what a lot of behavioral parenting seems to be, but it will just be the surface. You don't want to end up with a sophisticated and calm child who is despondent or resentful, for example, and any form of those (I mean, like generally speaking, unless you're a bit of an existential-tier sadist, but I digress).

But ya, between the parenting books and this thread, realize it's about balance. He may very well to grow up to be sophisticated and calm (and happy, and successful, and many other things), but it will be his experience of those qualities. So don't get too upset over that. I'm sure there's some disappointment in parents not seeing their kids become their exact vision, but that doesn't devalue them as beings.

No phones or social media before 13.

this. don't ruin his life before he's 13.

I appreciate your efforts into making a new generation of autists

Phones are terrible for kids. They're just glued to them. It fucks with their attention. And you honestly think kids on social media is a good thing? It fucks them up. Self esteem can be shot for seeing all these pretty instagram models and bodybuilders. It's easier to bully and harass people.

Just let them go outside to interact with other fucking kids the normal way. I can't believe you honestly think giving them access to that toxic shit is good for them. Sure it won't make them autistic. It'll make them narcissists obsessed with getting likes.

>How to raise a sophisticated and calm boy without abusing him or making him a pretentious brat?
Masculine pursuits will develop him as a person and give him the necessary social skills/work ethic.
Work with his other parent and ensure he isn't getting you to undermine each other.
Let him do his own things but don't let him run loose.
If he shows an interest in a hobby, develop it but only invest a little to start out with, he might want to join army cadets because he wanted a uniform and boots/take up paintball solely to own a paintball gun/get into woodworking solely because he wanted a space in the garage to have as his space in your space.
Encourage him towards a team sport (ideally a contact one), he will get a sense of belonging and be active, I don't know many rugby players who turned out to be shitty people.

Avoid exposing him to shitty TV unless you want him to imitate people from Jersey shore.
Avoid exposing him to animoo unless you want him to pick up exaggerated fictional social habits from another culture (I've seen weebs daughters cover their mouth to laugh and sons over exaggerate their eating and laugh in an overly confident stance).
Avoid exposing him to cameras for selfies and social media in general.
Avoid anything that involves watching other people do pointless things like play vidya, he will gain nothing watching pewdepie's autistic screeching over low budget video games.

>No phones or social media before 13.
>I appreciate your efforts into making a new generation of autists

Sitting in front of a phone hoping they get enough likes is more likely to create shut ins and autists than not having social media, god forbid he leaves the house to see his friends.

Tell him what pretentious is and tell him not to be. Also don’t spoil him

With the belt

No you didn't, you advocated domination