How do I fucking push myself over the edge? I got the noose all tied up but I can't kick the chair somehow...

Tell me why first.

because i made that shit up, fuck out this thread, asshole

>Why not turn yourself in to the cops instead?
This. Take responsibility

This is why we need ID's on Jow Forums

no

Then why should I tell you what to do?

Dude, just fucking sit down and breathe. Tell us why

because you moralfags won't do that anyway

sick of your "it gets better" memes

I'll do it some way or another, at least when i get my gun license

Then gtfo mate. Suicide doesn't solve anything - it just replaces all your problems with one really big insurmountable problem. Any advice on how to do it is shitty advice.

you don't even make sense. death is literally the absence of everything, including all problems. fuck outta here

So wait, the CIA/mossad and their puppets bush/Clinton/obama fucked up the entire middle East, murdered millions of innocent people, created terror groups, destroyed Libya, and looted probably 90% of Islamic wealth, but Trump is the islamophobe for saying we should not just let these people we spent 40 years pissing the fuck off into the country....
Hahahahahahahahaha brennan is the biggest fucking faggot on the planet go kill yourself you orc looking douche

America - no cruel and unusual punishment
CIA tortures people

CIA: we are true Americans! Trust us dumb golems!

Earth is a prison. You were an innocent soul occupying part of the universe then Jewish faggots brought you here to enslave you because nobody would ever consent to being their slaves. But yeh dewd if you don't want to work 1/3 of your life for these people you are just weak! Leaving this prison will make you worse off!

"Wow my husband is beating me. I want to leave him."

"Hah you are just weak haha pussy just get beat haha"

Wow great argument!!!!!!

The best part is they have no counter argument and are trying the only tactic they know which is running and hiding until everything blows over and everyone forgets their crimes. Sad!

No. You don't have to agree, but I would say that not existing any more is a pretty fucking big problem. Now why do you want to off yourself?

>Suicide takes guts
Fucking lol. Suicide is the ultimate expression of selfish cowardice

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because i'm sick of arguing with your braindead ass

You don't even deserve to kill yourself if you can't do it in a way that bypasses all natural instinct to survive. That's how I know you're being a fucking faggot and you're not serious about killing yourself. Go get your attention somewhere else.

Explain yourself. I know this is a tactic to shame a suicidal person into staying alive, but I'm curious about the logic behind it.

Not a tactic. Just plain truth.
What could be more narcissistic and equally cowardly than being given the gift of life and deciding that amongst the billions of people on earth YOU suffer worse than anybody else and that YOU deserve to reject the amazing experience of being alive.
Dont be a fucking casual. Git gud

Ok mate. I'll leave you be after this post. Have a nice day and try to be less of a dickhead eh? That might help.

being dead will do that

Pics of the noose?
Chances are your knot is shit and is going to slip and leave you a living vegetable.
Or your rope is shit and is going to snap when it has to support your neckbearded ass leaving you with a broken shinbone. And the paramedic is going to laugh at you and pot about it on Jow Forumss FPH

How bout you stop being a retard and get some help, yeah? Why the hell do you even want to die? You better have a damn good reason.

Make like a timer contraption that will collapse the chair at a random intreval. Anywhere between 1 and 10 minutes should do. Then stand and wait. Your survival instinct isn't adapted for this sort of unpredictable setting, and you'll be too distracted knowing that any seecond, the next second, will be your last.

Good luck op. See you on the other side.

>implying OP's setup will provide an instant or even quick death

You realize that your neck won't snap, and you'll only suffocate, right?

Life isn’t all peaches and cream, bitch. For some people, life is constant suffering, and it’s worse than death.

Don’t believe me? Visit an old folks home. Read 2 arms and a head. Sometimes you are a bigger fool to go on living than to just end it all. It’s delusional life evangelist cowards like you that live in absolutes and can’t accept there are exceptions to the rules you live by.