Be me

If you want to regularly excrete devils porridge inside a lady you need to go food shopping. Nothing dries them up quicker than cupboards filled with obsolete computer hardware and an empty refrigerator except half a can of flat pepsi. They need to think they could 'nest' with you at some point, even if they say they are super not into that. If you don't you'll stop having sex and eventually have to have the 'where is this relationship going?' talk.

I was more confused by the "mirroring your girlfriend that ass is going to blow up"

You're saying I should match her shopping habits if I want her to have a fatter ass? Or am I misinterpreting?

It's funny because she used to be the fat one

'slim' girls leave food on their plate because they want to stay slim. Otherwise they'd develop into overweight dumplings like 80% of the western world. They recognise their calorie needs have been met and don't feel the need to overeat to stick it to the patriarchy. The restaurant is not going to give you a girls portion because you are 5'2", but they probably should. Note, I am saying nothing about their capacity to love and be loved or ability to have it all.

I'm sure women can put away the same as or more than any man. This hideously regressive form of sexism has been soundly conquered judging by the state of some of the dreadnaught class heavy battle ass around here.

I'm sure some women do leave food on their plate that they'd like to eat because they are actually hungry, but they are worried that people will view them as greedy for leaving a clean plate. Unfortunately their weak and inferior brain is characterised by mushy and irrational thinking. I guess they were born to be followers or something.

Mirroring her behaviour. Ok people tend to behave like the people they spend the most time with. By virtue of the fact they spend the most time around them you are likely doing the same kinds of things. If your girlfriend likes to sit around a lot and eat too much you'll be sitting around a lot and eating too much and your ass got fatter. If she was fat, you'll likely get fat around her. You'll consume the same types of food, usually in the same quantities because 'fairness' is pretty instinctive when around those we care about. This is 100% your fault and not hers, you have complete ownership of this 'problem' (if it is a problem).

Lets say you need 14kcal per lb of body weight to maintain weight. If she was 200lb she'd have reached homeostasis at 3,200kcal per day. If you exactly eat what she eats at 150lb when you need 2,100kcal the 1,100kcal surplus would cause you to gain weight at a rate of 1lb every 3.181 days OR 50lb in 159 days / 5.3 months. SOUND PLAUSIBLE?!

That's pretty much exactly what happened yeah. There's constantly just good food laying around everywhere and she certainly doesn't hold back. She's only around 180 though and 5'8. I've always eaten more than she does however. She said she was watching her weight and was totally fine with me eating what I wanted.

I know it's my fault but she certainly hasn't made it difficult if you get my meaning. I'm not blaming her it's just that she's done things like give me a handjob while I'm stuffed full of cake.

>I'm sure some women do leave food on their plate that they'd like to eat because they are actually hungry, but they are worried that people will view them as greedy for leaving a clean plate. Unfortunately their weak and inferior brain is characterised by mushy and irrational thinking. I guess they were born to be followers or something

What an absolute shitstain you are, and also completely unaware of real life

Your insults are based on nothing except your own prejudice and imaginary straw man which you've projected onto me to stroke your ego and sustain your world view. Try an actual rebuttal. I understand that actual debate and discussion is harder, especially if you aren't equipped for it.

With your social myopia, no rational argument would sway you from your rigid beliefs.

I just want to point out that neither of the two people arguing are me

Do the keto diet for several months. I dropped 20 pounds pretty quick on it and others have had more success
Fastest, lowest effort way to lose weight that I know of

i wish i had a gf that would slap my ass

Normally I'd agree with you but in this case it's really embarrassing. She was supposed to be the one with the slappable fat ass not me. She's really getting a kick out of it.

>there some product I could use to help with weight loss or some exercise routine that burns a lot of calories? I don't really want to diet.
What the fuck is with you people and trying to take shortcuts to your fucking weight? Go on a 30 minute walk every fucking day. Halve all your portions. When you feel some weight leaving, start doing crunches and pushups. Repeat until slim. Fucking idiots trying to make weight loss harder than moving your fucking body and eating less.

That sounds nice and easy except for the halving part. Or at least not all at once. Maybe I'll ease into it.

Not OP, but how do you deal with hunger pains? I do everything you said but the hunger keeps me awake at night and I can't fall asleep.

You know nothing of my social myopia and you aren't prepared to try. How is the air up there on the moral high ground? A bit thin maybe?

Break it down yo. You believe thin people are thin because of endemic societal fatphobia. The society I live in isn't wholly characterised by media and especially the toxic messages presented by advertising. It isn't that fatphobic unless you focus to an unhealthy amount on media and advertising which rational people should know isn't reality, we are defined by more than what we consume. You can argue that this is because of my male privilege, but it is reductive and does nothing to build intersectional bridges, so yes I do see it as the tool of somebody who doesn't have a legitimate position.

You make it sound like you believe thin people have a problem. They have a neurotic flaw induced by the negative impact of society. I believe they are free to make a choice. They have agency. You have to allow people agency otherwise there is no hope. Hope is glorious.

Some thin people will hate fat people. Some will wish they could eat more. Some will be perfectly well adjusted. You say the only reason they leave food on their plate is because they are afraid of a death sentence. This is pure hyperbole. This is why I believe you are projecting something which bothers you to validate yourself.

Heavily conditioned, death sentence of fat phobia, jeez. There are benefits (individual and societal) to maintaining a healthy body. Society (capitalistic greed really, not my society) works pretty hard to encourage overconsumption to the benefit of nobody in particular. People with smaller bodies and lower muscle mass need to consume less calories to avoid gaining weight. If they gain too much weight they'll have a potentially reduced lifespan with a higher chance of health problems.

Feel free to challenge any of my views. They aren't exactly rigid in the face of well thought out arguments.

how much do you weigh?

Lemme give you some facts from a nursing student who's interested in fats, cholesterol, etc. Let's say you wake up, and immediately start watching TV. Ain't eat anything yet. Your body is not exerting itself to watch TV, so your body will break down the protein in your muscles for energy (specifically to keep your body warm).

Now let's say you wake up, and immediately go for a walk. Ain't eat anything yet. Your body will begin to break down fat in your body for energy because you haven't eaten any sugars or carbohydrates. The body uses carbohydrates first for energy when exerting yourself. So the 30 minute walk will wake your muscles up, especially in your legs, and then you get home and have a few pieces of chicken so you get some protein to add more muscle to your legs. Bang. Calories out from the walk, calories in from eating chicken BUT you have a net loss of weight if you don't eat the whole damn chicken. Drill instructor school in the marines has the men wake up and do a four mile run before breakfast. Those guys are fucking fit.

Carbohydrates/sugars get used for energy IF you're exerting yourself and you've eaten bread, drank apple juice, eaten some candy, whatever. But if you've eaten some bread, and then just sit down and watch TV, again, your body will eat your muscles instead of your fat. Then since you're not moving, the bread you ate will be converted to fat.

So what's all this mean? Eat more chicken, go on more walks, eat less bread, buy a multi-vitamin so you still get all your nutrients.

I'm 205lb @ 6'2"?

I lost a lot of weight on a modified protein sparing fast. The aim was to promote fat loss while preventing muscle catabolism. This was by doing pretty much what you describe, moderate activity with small high protein meals to keep blood amino acid levels high, insulin low and promote the release of stored fat for energy and restricting carbohydrate consumption to post high intensity exercise to promote insulin release to maintain normal hormone levels and limit the impact of cortisol.

I did run my life like an experiment for a year, but I did lose 115lb in 12 months while getting ripped.

Just do this everyone.

I could do that. I'd just have to wake up earlier in the morning. I don't eat huge breakfasts anyway so that won't be a problem. I thought I'd have to do exercise in the evenings but mornings do work better. One thing though is that my appetite has become a real problem. I'm pretty much constantly hungry nowadays.

I can tell you how I did it.

Wake up and do press ups, crunches, chin ups and pull ups to failure. When you are fat you can probably do less than 20 so it doesn't take long. This is more to get you moving and motivate you because you'll see rapid improvement. Go drink a scoop of whey protein with water and take all of your supplements (vitamin D, omega 3, zinc, magnesium) certainly less than 70-100kcal.

Cycle 10 miles to work at a moderate pace. Don't eat anything all day, drink lots of water and black coffee if you like caffeine. Around 3-4pm enjoy two boiled eggs or a can of tuna and one slice of nut/seed/protein bread or banana for a small amount of carbohydrates, like less than 400-600kcal. Bike 10 miles home again.

Do basic barbell training 3-4 evenings a week for no more than 2 hours. Focus on compounds with a limited number of accessories, think squats, deadlifts, bench, push press (these are all pushing movements) rows, weighted pull ups and chin ups. You need some more pulls for balance, like face pulls, calf and tricep work like close grip bench, some leg curls, calf raises (can be done on steps) but I did nordic raises with a sofa cushion and a barbell to brace my feet and used to do calf raises at the same time as rack pulls when I had heavy as balls weight on the bar. For the big compounds work 8-10 reps for 3 sets. For the minor stuff work 8-12 reps for 3-5 sets.

Then about 8pm you sit down to enjoy more chicken, broccoli and rice, pasta, potatoes than you probably want to eat, like 1,200-1,600kcal. Take the same supplements again before bed.

I used to swim, jog, jump rope or go on long bike rides once or twice a week as well. At first the weight will fall off of you, but after a while you'll want to introduce targetted refeeds (eat lots of carbs) as maintaining a calorie deficit for long periods of time is hormonally stressful. After a while weight training will get to the point where you have to manage recovery around cardio.

By that point your workouts will be dictated by your goals and what areas are deficient. Stalling on certain lifts reveal supporting muscle groups which need work. You'll likely spend a lot of time stretching and doing minor work to prevent injury when you go in for your big lifts. Cardio will interfere with your gains and you'll naturally reach a point where you choose something to focus on. You might go for big weights, eating more, adding slightly more carbohydrates to your diet to fuel your workouts and sustain muscle growth at the expense of weighing more and having to do more boring stretching and foam rolling to prevent injury. Or you might go light on the weights, get really good at swimming or climbing, whatever you enjoy. Either way you'll be in way better shape than most.

You'll also be able to eat more normally, but apart from a few items, 'normal' food is pretty much garbage to me now. I can cook really well and I'm happy with my diet as it is.

In the long run I found training with very heavy weight to be hard on my joints and despite a lot of backlash from people who do train, long term flexibility, pain management etc is all better with a good balanced lifestyle. Being 30lb overweight with muscle is still 30lb overweight. Being a little on the chunky side with lower than average body fat and great endurance while spending no more than 4 hours a week focusing on fitness is doing alright tier.

Did you start out from a position of strength before getting fat? As in you worked out regularly beforehand and still had a core of muscle underneath? Because I'm pretty much all gush now. This is all very good advice but I'm just curious.

Difficult to say. I was 315lb and untrained. Simply moving myself around meant I had some muscles underneath the fat, but not more than average. Prior to being 315lb I had hovered around 250-260lb for a few years and at that point I used to ride my bike (slowly) and swim (slowly) a few times a week. I'd have had no problem helping you move house, shift a sofa, few boxes of books etc, but not trained in any way.

When you start weight training you use the barbell. It'll feel weird and for certain lifts quite heavy. Even before you touch a barbell you'll know if you are way below average if you can't do 10 press ups.

Well if you can do it at 300 pounds, I don't really have any excuses then. Tomorrow is the perfect day to start since I have no work. I might keep some of it though like you said.

>slampig
Sounds like you're the slampig now!

Just saw this.
Lmao I guess that's true

Run if her Dad owns a sausage company...

You don't need to break up. Stop eating like a pig and exercise.
Jesus christ man you gained so fucking much weight everyone noticed but you.

Nobody said anything until recently though.

You're getting lazy, fatty.

What do you mean?

Just tell her that you wanna eat less and lose some weight

Ideally, I'd like to lose weight without eating less though.

But no seriously what did you mean by this?

This happened to me to, I feel you. I thought I gained 10 lbs, not 30. Clothing was tighter but still fit since most of what I wore was baggy to begin with.

Then work out more.

>Clothing was tighter but still fit since most of what I wore was baggy to begin with
Yes exactly. You do get it
Right but I was looking for a more specific workout. Preferably one that's fast and easy.

Jow Forums has a good sticky

Maybe I should try starting strength. Don't even have to drink a gallon of milk a day because I already meet the calorie requirements and then some.

>Right but I was looking for a more specific workout. Preferably one that's fast and easy.

Fitfag here

It's really 70% diet, 30% exercise no matter what you want to do
>some would argue 80% diet

Do intermittent fasting, or look into the keto diet if you don't give a shit about your health

Honestly, the best thing for you to do would be to get into an exercise routine with your fat girlfriend so you two can stop being so disgusting together.

>Maybe I should try starting strength. Don't even have to drink a gallon of milk a day because I already meet the calorie requirements and then some
Regardless of what myths out of shape people spread, fat does not turn into muscle.

A good rule of thumb for gaining muscle is one pound of protein for every pound that you are
>but this is more along the lines of not having 60+ lbs of fat covering your body

She actually does work out on her own though. She's not all fat there is some muscle there.

>She actually does work out on her own though. She's not all fat there is some muscle there.
Which reinforces what I was saying about it being 70% diet

Whether you want to gain muscle, lose muscle, gain fat, or lose fat, it's all diet

What if I just decided to maintain my current weight or just slow my weight gain down? Would I have to diet if I did that? Couldn't I just exercise more?

I don't know how to tell you this OP, your gf is a feeder.

She is not going to let you lose weight.better break it off or accept your fat couple fate

Attached: th.jpg (230x179, 5K)

Yeah maybe, but the more fit you get the bigger you'll get and have a layer of blubber over your newfound muscle.

Your best bet would be to look into HIIT (high intensity interval training) or cardio such as jump roping or swimming.

Jogging is shit cardio and won't help you lose weight

What is your diet?

Really, look into intermittent fasting if you don't want to change what you eat; you just change the times you eat

Yeah I kind of gathered when she grabbed my belly fat with a big smile. I'm fine with being a little heavier honestly. I just don't want to be 300 in 2 years.
My diet is mostly home cooked so it's not like I'm eating McDonald's or anything. Lots of Mexican food, pretty much the most traditional you can imagine. Rice, ground beef, lots of flour. She also loves to make pastries, especially American pastries surprisingly so I end up eating a lot of those too. She makes a bunch at once so what ends up happening is I graze over the course of several days.

Nah, that isn't the primary focus of Jow Forums sticky. They link to their wiki that covers general health in a very detailed way. If you want gainz they also have pages and instructions for that, but their primary focus is diet and being healthy more than strength training alone.

>Mexican food
Some webms on /ck/ make their food look less healthy fried chicken. Rice and beans are fine, but if the beans you consume are refried in lard and you stuff shit into a flour tortilla it kinda defeats the purpose.

I hate refried. I eat charro and black beans mostly.

What is your daily diet? Every meal and snacks.

Well she likes to vary it up a lot and I don't remember everything but I'll try to remember. For breakfast it's usually something fast and easy like beef tamales or a breakfast burrito. Something quick and easy that you can make a bunch of. I have a microwave at my office so lunch is always either leftovers or something like quesadillas. There's a lot of food but it's not really enough to completely fill me up so when I get home she has a big dinner ready.

I wish I could be more specific but she really does vary it up everyday. I eat a lot of beef if that helps. I prefer spicier food to non spicy as well. I cap it off with about a third of some kind of dessert before going to bed. I don't really snack I just eat four big meals a day.

>a lot of beef.
Lots of red meat isn't good. Especially if you're constantly eating ground beef. A few times a week is fine, especially if it is a leaner cut.
>quesadilla
>giant portions
There's a lot of meat and cheese and fats with very little, if any, vegetable intake. And large portions.

Limit portion size, eat waaaaay more vegetables and a lot less red meat. Exchange it for fish or chicken. For ground beef substitute with ground turkey once in a blue moon. Shift for more whole grains.

Oh well I eat every kind of meat, it's just that beef makes up the most of it. I could easily exchange the beef based dishes for leaner meats then. Are grains really that much healthier than flour?

What the fuck do you do besides eat work and be with your whale? She’s the one dictating your life at this point you cuck

>i want to lose weight
>but i dont want to diet
Doesn't work like that

I go out with friends obviously. I was just talking about an average day. I don't really have any outdoor hobbies. Just because you're in the same building doesn't mean you spend every moment together you know.

Says the boy who can’t control his weight or curb his whale’s habits

Not really sure what that has to do with what we were talking about but okay. She's actually stayed around the same size. It's just me who got bigger.

Right, have your cake and eat it too buddy. I know you’ll be having a lot of that.

I'm not really sure what's going on here?
You asked if I did anything outside of work and my relationship. I said I did and now you're mad? I'm not really sure what my eating habits have to do with her weight. Could you explain what you're trying to get at?

>she's done things like give me a handjob while I'm stuffed full of cake

bruh

You’re too dense to understand. I don’t know if it’s arrogance or laziness but to realize it will be a journey for you. I’m not angry, just trying to kick your ass you fatty.

What?

Yeah but your posts don't really logically flow from mine. I say that I have other things I do and then you say
>Says the boy who can't control his eating habits or his whale's habits
Then I say that I'm the only one with poor eating habits and you say
>have your cake and eat it too
These things don't logically flow.

Well you can logically gain more weight then you retard lol

But how would you conclude that from the information in the previous posts? That doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about.

No it just doesn’t have the answer you’re looking for. Which doesn’t exist. So have your cake and eat it too while your whale gives you an oil drenched Mexican pastry rub n tug

It's not like you're telling me a hard truth or something. I know I'm chubby, I'm just confused that you think this conversation would make sense from someone on the outside looking in. What would "having my cake and eating it too" be in this situation? Let's start with that.

>”is there some product I could use to help with weight loss or some exercise routine that burns a lot of calories? I don't really want to diet.”

Okay that's better. And I find it hard to believe there isn't one. I would even be fine with putting on weight at a slower rate as long as it meant I could still eat what I wanted. Your posts still come out of nowhere though.
>Oh yeah I have hobbies
>Says the guy who eats a lot
Like that doesn't actually make any sense.

Does she have a secret fattening fetish? I give my husband a blow job on the fly sometimes, but if he was stuffing his face I wouldn't really want to engage in sexual activities with him while he's in the midst of eating.
You want to lose weight with minimal effort, that is the very definition of the idiom "have your cake and eat it too.
Notice you completely avoided my vegetables observations. And yes whole grains are better and the bread even lasts longer. Better yet encourage your girl to make her own whole grain based bread, since she loves to bake.

Cook for yourself if you both work and you're being stuffed with unhealthy food, unless she is a stay at home wifey. Then just buy ingredients for her and she has to adjust.

It's not while I'm eating it's afterwards when I'm full. Usually when I'm too full to do anything else

I realize how the idiom applies but you have to admit it didn't really directly follow from what I said before and it was a little weird to say it right there. And of course I want to do that. Who doesn't want to have their cake and eat it if possible?

There's lots of peppers and onions and other things in the food so it's not like I'm completely devoid of vegetables. That whole grain idea sounds good but I'm the one who works and she also does the shopping. Maybe we could shop together.

>excuses
That is honestly what you're doing.

Don't oblige her with sex right after eating. That honestly does sound like a fattening fetish in some way. Why does she like getting you off right after you've stuffed yourself?

>who doesn't want to have their cake and eat it to?
But it isn't possible. Losing weight takes guts, determination, and a love for life. In that you don't want to chop your feet off toe by toe when you're 65 years old because of diabetes a. You don't want to have a heart attack at 40 and die. If y'all have a child together, you wouldn't want a higher risk of miscarriage, pre-term birth, maternal/infant mortality, and birth defects that are directly linked to an overweight mother.

If you lack any internal or external motivation you've already lost. And all you do is enable each other's bad habits.

If she shops with YOUR money, then dictate what she can buy. Or don't provide the funds and get it yourself. Back 5 months ago when I was out of a job and he was giving me money to shop with, I'd write a list we'd negotiate on. Or we just made a list together and fully agreed, which was most of the time when we were trying to shop cheap and healthy before I was able to work again.

She says she wants to give me a reward for working so hard. Sometimes when I eat one of her desserts before bed, I'm so full all I want to do is go to sleep so she gives me one and I doze off. Maybe not even lose weight but just maintain my current weight. I'm only 208, not even obese yet. She does the shopping while she's out at the gym and doing other errands while I'm at work or she'll wake up before me on the weekends and do it. We could definitely negotiate though.

Why doesn't she work?

Also, if she gave you sexual favors for working hard, why not closer to when you're home? Why doesn't she want reciprocation or mutual pleasure? What does she do at the gym if she is still chubby as you describe her? Zumba?

205lbs with no muscle tone is definitely overweight. And if you gained 33% more of your original body weight in OP without noticing, what is to prevent you from passing 300lbs a year from now if you continue without changing your habits?

She's younger than me actually but only by three years. i finished grad school and she graduated college and was having some trouble finding a job. I've been friends with her brother for a long time and expressed my desire to have a stay at home girl and he set us up.

After I eat a bunch or have sex I'm kind of exhausted so I don't really have the desire to do anything else. Sometimes I have to take projects home for example. We have regular sex too but she says she really doesn't mind finishing me off and is just happy I like her cooking so much. Is it really that weird to do favors without wanting anything in return?

She's chubby but she's maintained the same level of chubby for months. She mostly goes to the gym for maintenance I would guess. She likes to eat too much to really lose massive weight and hovers around the same area.

I may be overweight but I'm not morbidly obese or anything and now that I'm aware it's happening it won't creep up on me.

She's poisoning you

For the record, I'm pretty sure she does have a fattening fetish but I've never directly asked.

I came here to laugh at you. Just how oblivious can you be? First you don't notice a fifty pound gain and then you fail to notice she's fattening you up?

I don't like to jump to conclusions

You should consider buying a mirror

I have a mirror. I just kind of mentally blocked it out.

>Fat and retarded
Checks out

This is perfectly crafted bait.

Serving sizes are getting too big even for men and no one cares about someone eating too much (unless you're in a famine) as long as you're not fat. You don't get perceived as fat unless you're actually fat. Men and women are biologically different and women need less calories.

I bet you're at an unhealthy bmi

Rude.

bumping.