Bumble: What should I say to her?

>Why are you smiling so much
just saved 15% or more on my car insurance

ummmm....?

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You can't stand for this sort of shit, man. Women try to play these little games all the time.

You need to move on and find a woman that's going to respect you.

Shes trying to be nice and start a conversation. She said I look like a happy person.

not fully agreeing with that guy, but it's a pretty strange way to start a conversation. dunno if I'd even respond.

It isn't really. She's surprised you look so happy and wants to know why, and potentially get in on the happiness. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

thanks for being reasonable. What should I say?

Well, why ARE you so happy in your images? You probably weren't faking it for the camera because people can see through that shit like plastic wrap and a genuine smile is really hard to fake, so be upfront and tell her what's good.

I walk around campus smiling alot so I guess I'll be straight.

How should i follow it up?

Beats me m8, once you've given her something that's gone well in your life recently, read the conversation and proceed accordingly. THis kind of thing is highly dynamic, you're gonna just have to go with your gut on this one. Maybe list another thing that's gone well or something fun you've done recently, and then ask if she wants to go do something.
>typoed 'gun' instead of 'gut'
>quickly imagined user telling her something good, her answering it, then user freezing for a few seconds before drawing and blapping her in the face
lmao

Only correct reply
"I just like to smile. Smilings my favortie"

Kek that's actually not a bad one.
If OP hasn't responded yet though, he's kind of coming off as a sperg. Not that it's too late, but you just need to fucking say something.
Wew.

*smilings are my favorite

Damn you got game.

Honestly the girl's basically setting him up to say something mildly sarcastic. It's actually a good test on her part, you can tell based on whether the guy takes the question seriously whether he's witty or no-nonsense.

Really the response itself doesn't matter even, it's just the nature of the response that matters.

oh noe did I fail? I didn't reply sarcastically....

How can I not smile when I see you

kek what did you put user?
>did i fail
Depends on whether she responded.
That's mildly cute.

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Rip....

>Your curls are on fleek!
I want to kill you

I cringed
Tell her life's good.
Wtf is bumble?

How badly did he fuck up? Is it that bad? I've said something similar before....

Oh man, OP. I am so fucking sorry.

Yamete!

Man in 10 months of being single. It is insane how badly single guys can not understand women.

How did you fuck up a girl saying something more than hey.

It has a relatively low probability of success. Especially if she likes witty guys, and the aggressive nature of the question suggests she wanted a witty response.

That it was a clusterfuck of different trains of thought was bad. Saying "on fleek" in the current year is pretty bad too.

Why is this so fucking hard?

It just is. The mistake you're making is getting all freaked out when you fuck one up. You're *supposed* to make mistakes. You're supposed to have high throughput and develop your bantz on a large number of girls. When you fail, that one goes away, so you adjust your bantz with the next girl.

Tinder and Bumble are great for that very reason: It enables you to quickly sharpen and polish your banter and make up for not learning how to do that shit when you were in middle and high school.

And it's really great for that. You can get the equivalent of YEARS of experience, mistakes, etc. in a relatively short period of time. You just need to teach yourself to move on quickly and not get distraught. It's not like you're a little kid anymore that can afford to spend a week being down over a girl. Who has time for that shit?

Alright time to piece by piece explain why this message is terrible.

>I have a have a habit of recalling funny things I read online while walking around

Literally stutter by repeating I have. Also random no connection to the topic at end akward AF

>I see you sometimes like today at the ibc. and thanks for the compliment

Why say this? She probably see's you too but didnt lead with it. Why? its creepy. Thank fully saying thanks for the compliement is ok but then...

>youre the first person to ever

No. No. No. No.

>Your curls are fleek

Stop it he's already dead

A bro gave you 8 openers to respond with and you vomit this out. Now she feels rude not to respond but you are beta signaling hard and depending how hot she views herself ship is sunk

Im not dead yet. I'm close though..... Just a bit more before I grab the rope.

Should I just unmatch her? Save myself the pain?

Roastie.

god no youre still young. some men learn this shit at 35.

See the movie Crazy Stupid Love

No there's a chance her attraction to you interprets the message as cute

But you need to be more casual and fun when you communicate with a girl.

Women like how you say something not what you say. She said you smile a lot and asked why are you so happy?

She gave you so much to be playful with and you responded like a robot lol

>Theres a chance.

That means theres literally no chance. I know I fucked up!

Read the rational male

All of this is just experience.

Thanks.... I'll check it out..

Kek why the fuck would you do that? If indeed you fucked up, you need to take the pain and learn from it. If you managed to pull it out, well, good for you.

What use is it not unmatching her when I've clearly failed. To see my failure daily as a grim reminder?

That girl looks cute man. Stop beating yourself up.

1. You haven't clearly failed. You just fucked up.
2. If she responds at all, you haven't really failed.
3. If she ghosts you, then you can unmatch. But you need to wait to be sure she's ghosted you.

Just cool your tits. I've had girls I moved on from on Tinder, etc. message me out of the blue weeks later. Sometimes it just fucking happens. Unmatching out of embarrassment is not only the most pussy thing you can do, but it sends a really fucking confusing message to the girl if they ever notice.

Seriously, just fucking calm down.

are you a lawyer

... yes, why do you ask?

hahahahaha you fucking faggot

i knew you're the same motherfucker, i can identify your voice very easily

>voice
?

like the way you type is very characteristic

1. non-ironic keks and wews
2. always talk about people needing to experience the consequences of their actions
3. overall judgemental/mocking tone

i've seen you in multiple threads and we've had a few conversations on this board in the past week. honestly i used to think that a lot of people on this board were like you but the fact that i just sniffed you out makes me feel like it's just you every time.

Based me, dropping fat logs in your skull every day rent free.

what

Oh hey, it's you again! Weren't you the guy in the paranoid delusional's thread the other night? Where the guy was wasting everyone's time? You're the guy who got all bootyblasted and posted a link to Reddit or something as part of an argument?

Man you have a huge persecution complex.

I can only hope you are joking

I know I'm late to the party here, but fuck me if that isn't terrible advice.

I'd just respond with
"Happy lasts longer. How much time have you got?"
>her response will be "for what?"
and then you say "Getting to know each other. I've seen you around, you know:)"
>her response
and then you "If you promise not to run away when I'm coming up to you, I'll take you for coffee on Tuesday, after school"

You don't want to drag it out, when you're in the same school. Seal the deal with this one.

this world is too good for you.

Oh fuck you already took someone's advice. That wasn't great. Too much mumbling. Hopefully she's inexperienced.

Funny thing is nobody in this thread gave him that advice.

Why do I come here?

>"Happy lasts longer"
That would be interpreted the wrong way. They appear to be very young, you could get away with that with tinder whores, but likely not in regular dating scenarios.

Yea that's me. But I'm 90% confident we've talked before then.

Honestly yea I went overboard with how much I argued my point last night, I was having a pretty shitty day though and I just needed to pick a fight. I never thought you were persecuting me per say, but I did think you were just kind of a douche who can be unnecessarily demeaning to people who admit to needing help.

Kek. I know that feel bro. No worries, I enjoy a good argument. I'd not have become an attorney otherwise. Hope you're feeling better.

Every once in awhile someone actually follows advice and it goes awesome. Those threads make up for the ones when OP listens to nobody.

Thanks m8

I was actually a successful policy debater in high school, and for a while I considered becoming a lawyer. That's kind of why arguing is my go to stress reliever, it's something I can usually dominate in compared to the average person just because of all the practice I gained from debate.

You're right. They are very young. Maybe "Happy gets you further in life yolo" or whatever current year it is.

Did she reply op

Go open a fucking thread at r9k you faggot, I'm. Not even a girl.

The only proper response. Get that bitch in line ASAP.

OP here. She hasn't responded. I've given up hope though.

Tell me you didn't unmatch her. I will slap the shit out of you if you do that in less than 120 hours.

No I didn't unmatch her......

Well, just hang in there. Try to match and chat with other girls. Even if the odds are she's not gonna say something, it's important to leave the opportunity open long enough.

The mechanics of Tinder and Bumble for women are very different than for men. One of the challenges is the sheer amount of information women get bombarded with once they have matches. While I get the feeling that Bumble kind of mitigates that as compared to Tinder, I'm sure it's still a problem.

The short explanation is that, because women get so many matches, and because guys are overall so persistent, women are constantly getting swamped in notifications, new message alerts, whatever you want to call them. It's easy to have dozens, and on Tinder, hundreds of unread new messages, many of very low quality or that are even offensive, so it gets to the point that you don't even go back and clear your unread messages queue.

My theory of how to message a girl on these services is that, while it's important to stand out, it's important to do so in a way that makes responses easy, because if the girl doesn't just happen to see your initial message and immediately feel like responding (i.e., a response isn't gonna take much thought), you've already lost the battle for her eyeballs.

I'm not saying you need to attentionwhore, far from it. It's more like marketing strategy. You need to be concise (which is one place where you blew it), carry a focused message (another place you blew it), and have something like a call-to-action (I suggest googling this term; you blew it here too).

Anyway the reason I don't recommend unmatching just yet is both because there's a remote possibility that she'll skim through her messages, see you, and drop a message; and also because it's worth giving another nudge in a day or two in case you got lost in the shuffle.

The most important trick of these services? High throughput. Keep trying new women. Never despair. Don't get oneitis. Keep trying.

>"No!"

>because i farted
wow a regular lord byron

oh lord. truly terrible OP.

you have four ideas here, smushed together. none of them are particularly good on their own ('i smile recalling things i read online'' is particularly ineffectual) , but they're absolutely dreadful when tacked onto each other like this. you've tripped on your own digital feet.

i'm affirming that this would be exactly the kind of thing to say if you had any intention of going on a date with that girl

>while it's important to stand out, it's important to do so in a way that makes responses easy

this is exactly correct. concise and focused and motivating are the name of the game.

>'i smile recalling things i read online'' is particularly ineffectual
Yeah this is particularly bad for a number of reasons, the most important of which is that you already know this girl is an athlete. It's like you're telling her "I lead a sedentary lifestyle, primarily getting pleasure from the internet rather than living an active life." What is she supposed to think there?

You'd have had better luck regurgitating some Jow Forums nonsense about gainz and endorphinz, though I still think it'd be a failure because the girl is setting you up to give her a witty response rather than taking the question seriously and giving an interpretation of your mental state following intense introspection.

In fact, that's another reason why "things I read online" is awful, because it paints you more as a solo player/introvert than a response along the lines of "My friends and I are always cracking jokes among ourselves, makes it hard not to smile." But, again, the question really wasn't calling for a direct answer.

>I'd just respond with...
I mean, this is kind of the general idea. It's just, knowing OP's stage of online dating bantz, he's going to make the mistake of following something like this as a script rather than an example.

For me, I like to at least have a few lines of chat with the girl before jumping into the "Hey let's get coffee!" Not so much because it can be awkward to do that so quickly for quieter girls, but because you can really save yourself a lot of bad coffee dates if you filter out the particularly insipid ones during the initial chat.

But again, it's more important for OP to get out there, get shot down a few times, and keep moving onto greener pastures. You have to keep trying new things and talking to new girls, develop your patter, and learn to have fun while you're doing it. It must've taken me a couple dozen matches (and failures) before I got good at it, to the point it just rolled off the tongue.

I lift every day....

That's the one thing you got out of that whole post? That "she's gonna think you're not physically active"? And your response is you lift daily? She doesn't necessarily know this, and just going to lift daily doesn't mean you live an active lifestyle that could keep up with an athlete like her.

Everything in my post stands.

all additional reasons why it might be bad, but honestly, the line (i smiling recalling...) is just utter rubbish, regardless of any specific context here, imo. its something your little nephew might say. the absolute best case scenario would entail a response like, "okay, so what are you reading online?"" "Oh well, I'm reading..." (!!!) This is what the most boring conversation possible sounds like. (OP at least instinctively understood this, which is why he added the other lines in, in hopes that one would salvage it)

absolute and total unforced error. and yes, a great pedagogic tool.

I would've said "Wouldn't you like to know?"

It's a miracle I get laid

All excellent points. At the core is that it's an entirely unnatural response. Nobody really thinks or talks that way, "I smile a lot because I read things that entertain me." At best, you might say, "In my display pic, I had just read this hilarious article about..." or "In my other pic, I had just read this hilarious webcomic..." not "Generally speaking, I smile because things pop into my head." But even those specific examples are fucking awful.

One particularly bad thing it says about coming up with a reason to justify your smile is that it suggests that smiling (i.e., happiness/contentedness) is not your default state, that you need a reason to smile. People shouldn't need a reason to smile; they should need a reason to frown. It's really a bummer kind of attitude to have going into dating.
>unforced error
EXCELLENT sports analogy, and very fucking true. The girl's opening was, honestly, just an unskillful "I'm just gonna say something" type of thing. OP's reaction was not only unskillful and a poor response, but telegraphed that he was unskillful and unconfident.
But, to continue the sports analogy, this is something that improves with practice and effort. Tinder and Bumble are, in many ways, like going to the batting cages. You can just keep swinging, work on your form, and get ready for a real game.
Yeah, not a great response, but you'd have been on the right track in my opinion; I have had some good luck witty with a very VERY mild veneer of snark. Though sometimes I wonder if the girls who go for snark/wit are really all that great. But that's a very different discussion.

She texted you with a compliment. You can't do to much wrong now.
Best case the next thing you say is an answer to her question, and then something about her.
And if you think you saw her somewhere, why not mention it? To me it sounds more creepy if you don't mention it. Overthinking. It is normal conversation. You don't even know her that well, so act what seems natural for you.

...

You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy."
- D.J., Sideways Stories from Wayside School

Holy shit. I was thinking exactly that.
>tfw only 90s kids will get that reference

Already too late for that lol.