Is my therapist lying to me?

Men's obvious mating habits it's fucking everything without discrimination because they can have as many babies in a year as they can have women.

How many guys you see on here looking for virgins life partners and monogomy so virgin relationships?

Different people will follow different trends. You're looking at women who don't do what you want them to to confirm your problens are in no way your fault.

Meanwhile your friend circle (if you eveb have one) probably has nice guys in it with gfs.

But you ignore them as one offs when they aren't.

Unless your definition of "Chad" is so broad that it's basically "Guys who talk to women" it's not true.

The nice guy/bad boy distinction is a meme. What girls like in 'chads' is their confidence and cockiness etc, if you have that and are also a genuinely nice person then it's double win. You sound bitter and immature

The "nice" guys who land partners usually have something to compensate, like wealth.

Nah, that's bullshit. I've lost track of all the attractive, intelligent women I've seen with losers who treat them like dirt. They like dating some scumbag they want to 'change'.

>his experience is different from mine therefore he is immature
ok

Not the guys at my work, dude you can walk into a McDonald's and find plenty of ordinary looking guys who have partners. You think no guy on Earth fucks unless he's rich or model tier?

not him but his experience is literally different from statistics.

The retarded incel narrative is that only 20% of men get women and it's been that way since the dawn of time. Which is laughably untrue.

I see perfectly average and below average men that are married or in relationships all the time.
I think OP has a somewhat warped view of reality which is what his therapist tried to point out to him.

Yeah and how many guys do you see with a hot woman who has an awful personality?

>You think no guy on Earth fucks unless he's rich or model tier?
Yes this is exactly what OP was led to believe by "redpillers". Trough confirmation bias he keeps seeing "proof" of it in reality. It's sad really. At least I'm glad he's talking to a therapist about it.

I'm sorry to have to say this but the problem isn't the Chads or the therapist. it's you. if you're seeing a therapist, chances are your life isn't going very well. That isn't attractive, regardless of how "nice" you are. focus on exercise, grooming, and making money. women find all those things attractive. everything will fall into place from there.

If you scratch those relationships a little below the surface you'll see all of those gf's and wives at some point got some side badboy. The reason women settle down with a nice guy is he will stay put while the badboy hits and runs for another conquest and the woman is left in secretly in love & lust with them.

Nope. A lot of badboys aren't necessarily "model tier". Some of them are below-average looking but their alphaness makes up for it.

I don't believe in the whole 20/80 thing myself, but I don't think that anyone has ever claimed that it's been true since "the dawn of time". In fact, people mostly complain about it being true only for their generation, and not for previous generations. The 80/20 theory is based on statistics published by dating websites, I believe. If you google "okcupid 80 20" you'll see the statistics yourself.

As for OP's view on reality, you don't really know anything about him - where he lives, his age, his income, etc, basically what kind of people he has to socialize with based on circumstance. He might be in a situation where a substantial majority of the young women around him are gold digging whores, this would not disagree with any statistics based on the general population.

You'll have an answer for whatever I say.

Notice how when you make these threads you have floods of people telling you you're wrong?

They aren't making it up or pulling it out of their assholes. They have a different experience than you.

Meanwhile, you, with your large ego, seem to want to blame some good quality you've decided you have for why you can't find a woman. That way you don't have to admit something's wrong with you and you can carry on patting yourself on the back because you're "nice" and that's why you fail.

They you can continue to hold the high road and see yourself in a positive light.

That's not the behaviour of a nice or even good human.

And you won't fix it until you stop being such a little bitter bitch.

We aren't here to argue. We're here to help you. Why even come here if you're just going to spout back counter answers to anyone who tells you you aren't seeing it properly?

>Nope. A lot of badboys aren't necessarily "model tier". Some of them are below-average looking but their alphaness makes up for it.

So what is "Alphaness"? Is it just some mysterious quality you ascribe to every guy who fucks to explain why you can't?

Usually these guys are more interesting, simple as that. Nice guys - really nice, not like OP nice - sometimes are bland and dull, whereas bad boys tend to be more inventive and adventurous. And by bad boys here I don't mean felons and total degenerates, just guys who are more daring, who gladly take the initiative and are by no means submissive...
My best friend is very feminine and delicate, she is soft-spoken and fragile and her boyfriend is a perfect example of a normal nice guy. He is always cautious and kind, and he spoils her rotten, and I know that he is her perfect guy, and she doesn't care about "bad boys" one bit - not even secretly, I think, as all her previous bfs were the nice guy type. I'm introverted and quiet and will always choose a bad boy over a nice guy, because I know from my own experience that chads will teach me more things, help me to socialize and be more active on daily basis.
OP's problem is that he is a bitter guy who probably isn't that nice, but likely is very entitled and sour. Girls don't like guys like that.

You have no idea what you're talking about, or rather who you're talking to. I'm not some Elliot Rodger "perfect gentleman". I hate myself and know I'm a maladjusted piece of shit. It doesn't change the fact that women are attracted to a certain kind of guy.

Hi, you OP, right? Let me ask you a question.

If you are not dating material, then why do you care so much about what women like? It sounds like you are wasting your time thinking about that.

Now, on the other hand, if you do want to start dating, you need to do something about that self-hate and those bad habits you have, or you won't get much out of dating.

You don't need me to describe it. You know very well what I'm talking about.

The okcupid statistic that braincels use as "proof" of their 20/80 meme simply shows that women are more picky in ranking attractiveness than men. That's it.

It kinda sounds like what religious people say when talking about God. You put the burden of proof on the other person instead of defending what you believe in.

>It doesn't change the fact that women are attracted to a certain kind of guy.
It's not a fact though, it's just your assumption, based on a very narrow-minded perception of the real world and propagated by other bitter and maladjusted pieces of shit like yourself. Of course you won't accept the notion that some women do indeed prefer nice guys, because it goes against your own narration... What is the point of this thread again?

>They aren't making it up or pulling it out of their assholes. They have a different experience than you.
And so do the people that have a different experience than that, as well. What's the point here. People experience different things?

Because you're asking me to draw a diagram of the typical alpha/badboy when you know full well what it is.

Pretty much, they still date those "below average" guys in real life anyway. Besides, dating apps are oversaturated with men so women get to be pickier.

If our sex drives were equal I think it would be different.

>People experience different things?

Exactly. People with different attitudes towards life, people that frequent different groups and places, people that engage in different activities, etc. get different things out of life.

If you get so much shit, maybe you could do with some change in your life instead of believing you know what all women want.

Well, clearly being hot is not part of it, so I don't seem to know so much, right? What else am I missing?

It's not a narrow-minded perception, it's a fact of life. Women have always been attracted to rogues. Someone else said it in this thread, "nice" normal guys are boring. They want the roller-coaster ride that comes with dating a jerk.

>I have psychic powers and it's just a coincidence that every woman I like but can't have is secretly in an awful relationship that only I know about
You're delusional.

Possibly. It depends on what you look like and what your personality is like. We have access to neither of these pieces of information so we can't make a judgement.

btw, did you think I was just going to blindly accept advice without challenging it? If it was that easy I wouldn't doubt my therapist in the first place.

>Believes the only person to agree with him

>Says everyone that disagrees is lying or wrong

Do you know what confirmation bias is?

And more importantly, every woman has different tastes. Incels think that there is a universal 20% men that every woman finds attractive.

One morning, the student approached the master and said "Sensei, how can I serve my heavenly purpose when everything reeks of horse shit? The temples, the markets, the men, the women, even the children and animals carry a horrendous stench. Why bother with Heaven when Earth has fallen to such a state?"

To this, the master only responded "look under your sandal."

It's not a fact of life, you total moron. If that was the case, the whopping majority of nice guys would be single, and so it happens that pretty much only Jow Forums nice guys bitch about tfw no gf. Normal life nice guys, and I mean not whiny sourpussies with mental problems like yourself, just regular healthy nice guys, have wives and children.

Good looks help ofc but are not essential. You don't know what alpha traits are?

No, not really.

And following your own advice, maybe there is basis for what the people with a different experience than yours is also saying. Maybe you are wrong and they know what women want, and its not them?

Nope but admit to cynicism born of personal experience fucking girls and women in relationships throughout most of my 20's. At first it would shock me what they would say and do for some side dick as long as they knew they could remain in their relationship. By that I mean, some women cheat because they are unhappy and don't know how to end it but most are overall happy with the trajectory their emotional life is taking, plans for the future and building a family with a man that they can rely on and trust. These women have no intention of ruining what may have taken years to build but still want to have sex with other men. They do but you never know.

You're looking for bitches in the wrong places. Go travelling.

You'll meet nothing but the nicest, best people on Planet Earth.

I legitimately just met my future wife while backpacking through Thailand. Wasn't even looking for love but she just fell into my life and I couldn't be more happy with someone.

>Maybe you are wrong and they know what women want, and it's not them?

I don't doubt that. I know women don't want you and I won't argue that. You know that better than me.

BUT you are trying to tell us what women do want, and several people on this thread have experienced differently. Even your therapist does.

So, lets recap; You are right, women don't like you. You are wrong, all women don't go for assholes, and several people have told you that already.

So you're a maladjusted POS.. and have determined that women only like bad boys? Even though people who are adjusted are telling you that's wrong..?

There will always be people who follow some general norm. There will always be people that don't. Every woman does not want the exact same thing. It varies greatly.

There will always be outliers and anomalies, to any form of data, not even with women sex and human behaviour.

You probably even know that if we weren't talking about women. If we were talking about a topic you were well educated on and not bias or ignorant against I was fighting you with misleading crap that isn't true and doesn't hold up, you'd be telling me "that's not actually how it works. It's too simple. The data shows a trend but in reality and practice it's not so straightforward"

You'd know that extremely well!

I'm on the other side here. All humans are bias, all humans logic gets fucky when it comes to things they're passionate or emotional or angry about. You know that too.

But right now you're the sufferer of cognitive dissonance and I'm trying to help. consider it at least instead of just barking back.

I bet Pickle Rick Sanchez is your favorite character. He admits that he's an asshole so he can put the blame of hurt feelings on other people for "choosing" to be around him, instead of admitting he's an asshole and making a sincere effort to change his thinking and be a better person. Likewise, you don't get good boy points for admitting to being biased and doing nothing about it. Rick is still an asshole, and so are you. Try again.

bookofpook.neocities.org/#ch-21

There's a clear cut fallacy in your logic. If I know that women don't want me, I can tell you what women want. It would be qualities that I possess right. You even state so yourself, so that must be true.
So, since you also own up to that I know myself better than you - I know which qualities these are, that means that I can also see qualities in others, right. Or the opposite qualities or differentiating qualities.
Now knowing this, its quite easy to say what women want, right?

>bookofpook.neocities.org/#ch-21
Cliffnotes plz

So, if I said I don't enjoy honey, does that mean I don't enjoy any sweet things?

No, right? That be insane.

You admit you are a "maladjusted piece of shit". Maybe that's the part of you women reject.

> Continue to see nothing but the contrary
This is known as "perception bias". It's easy to shrug off little incidents pointing to the contrary, or spin it around ("a pretty girl dating a guy who's not a looker? must be a golddigger, then"), whereas it's really scary and hard to put things into perspective when you see an example of your worst fears being confirmed. It's like how if a girl feels fat, ten compliments about her slim figure don't outweigh a single weight-related snark. Our mind is much more receptive to negative information. As the quote goes, a single cockroach can destroy the sight of a bowl full of the ripest cherries, but a bowl full of cockroaches isn't helped by placing a cherry on top.

Also, you're in therapy because your outlooks on life AREN'T entirely healthy/productive. If you cannot take guidance from your therapist and trust that they know more than you do, you might as well not go altogether.

We've tried that. A lot. Quite a few of us. Our boy OP is dug.

If you said you don't enjoy honey, it would mean you don't enjoy some sweet things. So we have a starting point. Ok. We can determine what sort of sweet tasting things honey is, and what other sweet tasting things its similar to. Then you could taste, or we could observe others that have the same sentiments as you tasting honey-similar tasting sweet things.
And already we could start mapping you and others. Quite easy really.

So basically, you're the kind of person that wants a quick and easy solution. You want to play lottery instead of work. You want a cheat sheet to women instead of putting in the time and experience to learn the hard way. You can do what you want, but you should know that trying to play the game on cheap and easy will get you exactly the results you want; cheap and easy women with no standards, and most of them are missing those standards for a reason (addict, crazy, shallow, etc.) Don't take the results of this experiment and extrapolate it to all women ever. You wouldn't like it if a feminazi did it to you and all men ever, so don't so it to women.

>Our boy OP is dug.
He's dug? English isn't my first language, I have no idea what that means. Like being dug in?

Ok, then walk me through that map with women. What do you have that turns them off? Or what do you lack that turns them off? And then show me how that proves they like assholes.

So far, you are a self-admitted mess, so anyone that's well put together will look good next to you (assholes and nice guys, too.)

no, not a nice guy
a nice confident guy

if you are not living the live you want in your heart
if you are nice because its the way with the least conflict
then you are doing it wrong

watch this video OP
youtube.com/watch?v=6BU-Beof9hU

nice is not a quality in itself, it is something expected by everyone
1. being nice
2. then you stack some real values on top of nice (sacrificing oneself for others, living the truth etc...)

lol

"Nice guys" think that just because they wouldn't rape and murder a girl, it makes them specially nice.

I'm not OP so I don't know what he specifically has that women don't want. I'm just tired of pieces of shit like you who think they are so high and mighty and have understood that life is so complex and more than black and white thinking, than arriving to the scene of the crime and presenting exactly black/white thinking.

Sorry I'm being very slangy. What language do you speak? I don't know about your language but in English we can invent slang and expressions very easily and be understood so sometimes gotta try and figure it out.

What I meant is he has dug himself a hole and can't get out.

He's so deep in his bias he will not listen to any reason. He "knows" what it's like and everyone is lying to him.

No problem, I was just curious as I'd never seen it before. Thanks for the explanation! And yeah I gathered so much by now, I have a bad habit of posting first then scrolling through the thread.
My first language is Dutch.

Most nice guys raised themselves on tv/movies and their parents just let it happen for one reason or another. From their point of view, they're following all the rules. They don't pretend to be someone else (that is, "be yourself.") They're not jocks. They're bullied. They don't break the rules or be overtly nasty *. So where's the 9/10 cheerleader that suddenly realizes she loved the nice guy all along? This is an epidemic of poor socialization and electronic parenting.

*even this one is flexible, how many shitty comedy movies are based around two dudes acting like assholes and "redeeming" themselves for sex through wacky adventures and a slap on the wrist?

Did you see how I said "so far"? I'm allowing him to make this analysis more complex, to defend himself. But he doesn't want to engage.

He calls himself a "maladjusted piece of shit", he shows how stubborn and delusional he is by coming here only to listen to those that agree with him and ignore those that don't, he even does the obvious cliche of saying "all women like bad boys".

I'm not being simplistic, I'm trying to show him that he can't oversimplify. Sorry if the last sentence in my last post seemed too simplistic, but maybe you can see the rest of the conversation to get the more nuanced ideas, too.

you have to build masculine qualities
as a boy/man you have to go out into the world fight for what you truly believe in and may get a broken leg or a bruise
fighting for what you believe and failing and standing up and correcting yourself and falling flat and making it better next time
builds charakter

if you don't have masculine values,
then you are just a woman with a dick
women are not interested in women with dicks
they are either interested in men, or they are lesbians, but then they are looking for women with no dick

Those are "growing and healthy human" traits, they don't belong to men.

>They don't pretend to be someone else
Don't really agree. An awful lot of self-proclaimed nice guys have very high expectations of women (completing their life, loving them unconditionally, the whole manic pixie dream girl thing) and quite often some level of resentment/hostility (because of past missed opportunities, perceived inferiority in the eyes of women) that they hide behind an exterior of absolute kindness and acceptance. They might not be outright assholes but they don't really show their true character, either, just a cherrypicked version of it they think is what girls dig.

You're right. I meant in the shallow movie trope sense of "don't pretend to be a goth/vegetarian/theatre kid to get the girl."

I don't know who Rick Sanchez is and all I did was offer dick when I knew they were looking. If it wasn't me it would be or had been someone else. Only 2 tried to leave their husbands but I put a stop to that and didn't give them an out that included a relationship with me. You can deny it happens all you want but that nice sweet coworker or the well put together super mom fucks on the side. Women have an uncanny capacity to compartmentalize and why she can fuck me then go home and cook dinner for the family and make love to her husband that night without thought

so, if women have those, even more of a reason for a man to have it.
if the woman you like is a better man than you are, why would she choose you?
you can't protect her
she has to protect you?
women don't want that
women like the guy who makes her feel strongly as a woman
if women find a strong man, they also start to flourish and behave more womanly

>if the woman you like is a better man than you are, why would she choose you?

That's really outdated, think for a second about what you are saying.

Fair enough, that's true.

Telling myself that women don't want badboys is just deluding myself. It's like trying to fight gravity.

How are you so sure of what women want? You didn't show me the map as I asked you. So far this relies more on faith than anything else.

Saying that absolutely all women want bad boys is moronic...

biology

they are not just physically weaker
there mind is also wired differently
I don't think this is outdated
I think it's more relevant than ever

Every creature, every animal has it's place somewhere.
Women can do great things, but they still do it slightly different.
This is not about better or worse, it's about acknowledging the differences.
And differences are beautiful, it enriches the world.

>missing the point this hard
You just admitted that you use your experiences with garbage women as a bias. You don't get points for admitting to a bias and then doing nothing to move past it.

Women are people, not a hive mind. Some women want that, some don't. Try listening to women instead of talking over them and dismissing everything that you don't agree with as a lie or a trick.
>still missing the point this hard
Relegating decency and being a developed human being to one sex or the other is half the problem here.

A lot. Im not op, but tha actually happens all the goddamn time. Not justifing OPs ideas, just saying your idea is also wrong,

Attached: rice-video-football.jpg (750x425, 22K)

So is a well mannered dominant nice guy a bad boy to you? Or are you willing to admit you're just trying to throw a pity party.

We literally can't seperate where biology ends and society's influence begins, short of a series of highly expensive, complicated and unethical child rearing experiments. You don't know any better than anyone else.

>Every creature, every animal has it's place somewhere.

ANd your is away from the gene pool. Good luck fulfilling your destiny.

It's empirical evidence. I've seen woman after woman go from one jerk to another. They'd rather take a chance on someone who'll treat them like shit than date a boring nice guy. And I understand that. It's just the way it is.

>Women are people, not a hive mind. Some women want that, some don't. Try listening to women instead of talking over them and dismissing everything that you don't agree with as a lie or a trick.
if they don't acknowledge at least a little bit that they are women, they are not going to be happy
just like OP
if he doesn't acknowledge that he is born a man
and should seek out male virtues
he is not going to be happy

a man behaving mainly like a women, is not going to be happy
a women behaving like a man, can not live a very fulfilling life

this is why transgender people are doomed on the way they choose
they walk on a way that is not their way, they hide from there responsibility and flee to an other gender
some flee into hikikomori hood, some into suicide and some into an other gender

And what about all the people that saw other things? Are they all wrong?

Just watch "Rob Roy"
He is well mannered, fights for the truth, but is also a bad ass.

Attached: WebSlides-Aug2017_RobRoy.jpg (880x495, 142K)

>my anecdotes are a fact, but not women's lived experiences and opinions
Yeah you need therapy. I suppose women are simultaneously building an anti sex conspiracy against you but are conniving and all hate each other at the same time, depending on whatever leaves you a blameless victim.

if I end up on the street, homeless with no money, so be it
i would have to accept that, what could I do about it?
life throws things at us that are not always pretty
but it's how you react to it that defines you, and not what happens to you

Male and female virtues do not exist. There are only virtues. You are part of the problem.

Being really needy isn't the same thing as being nice

Don't blame "life". You are earning everything, the good and the bad. Enjoy it.

stay away from blatant propaganda and you will keep getting closer to the truth
youtube.com/watch?v=p5LRdW8xw70

Some will settle for nice guys but they'll cheat or ditch them them for a badboy if they get the chance, or they date the nice guy because he has wealth/social status.