I'm an alcoholic and I've been selected for jury service. My doctor doesn't know I'm an alcoholic...

I'm an alcoholic and I've been selected for jury service. My doctor doesn't know I'm an alcoholic. I drink to excess every day. How do I get out of this without making it look like I'm just making excuses?

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Show up wasted. They will just send you home.

show up drunk

this. don't drive, obviously.

Or he could not drink all day and vomit & pass out at the court house.

here they ask if you can be an impartial witness. just say no

DRRRIIIIIINK UP!

It's a £1,000 fine here if you don't provide a valid excuse. I'd assume this fine also applies to turning up in an unfit state, i.e. wasted. I don't have a spare grand.

step one. go fuck yourself.
step two. do your jury duty you cunt.
step three. whatever I don't care.

tell them your jury service license is expired

tell them you are racist

Haha this

I had severe alcoholism 2 years ago and had a medical waiver from jury duty

Just talked to your doctor and he will write you a note

Just tell them you have an extreme bias against the government.

Just tell them you're racist. It's a legit excuse

just say you have a criminal record. when i did this they just said okay and i never heard from them again

Tell them you hate niggers and women.

Bud go to doctor and get a note. Then get help man. We need whites like u to take back your country

Pfffft wow holy shit. UK is terrible.

Tell them you’re an addict with an undiagnosed problem and then start jacking off

Kek

You tell them you will be out of town on business that day. Fucking kids these days, shieeet.

that said i do have a record so that may have helped. but try it anyway

make sure you bring a flask or two and keep drinking out of it till you pass out or puke

Why don't you grow the fuck up and put the bottle down?

Drunks are the fucking worst.

>How do I get out of this without making it look like I'm just making excuses?
just go do that shit

What is the case

that shit doesn't work here, they just give you another date

Tell them you regularly browse and post on Jow Forums.
They won't want you.

Ask the doctor to give you a liver function test. They'll test your blood for certain enzymes and proteins to see if there's inflammation. If you're an alcohol, they'll see the numbers are off the charts, and they'll give you a medically valid diagnosis of being an alcohol.

It's a crown court matter so it's something serious. Murder, rape etc.