Am I Narcissistic

>extremely reclusive
>get angry and depressed when I lose
>don't like talking to anyone
>ignore phone calls
>get annoyed when people try to contact me
>judgemental of others but rarely verbalize it
>don't care about what other people are doing
>don't like taking advice from others
>push every girl that ever shows interest in me away
>extremely anxious, especially in social situations
what's wrong with me how do I fix it

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openpsychometrics.org/tests/SD3/
psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic-personality-quiz/
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The label doesn't matter. Are you narcissistic? Who cares!

Go to therapy, though. Work through your issues.

Probably not. You sound more like an Avoidant.

Did you have a shitty relationship with your dad? Got yelled at, neglected, told you weren't good enough? Never got praised for your minor achievements?

Never self-diagnose mental illness

You sound exactly like me, I have very high standards for women and never even tried getting a gf because it sounds like too much work and effort, also I'm too cold emotionally and can't imagine having to meet someone more than 2 times a week.

You'll grow up eventually.

My Dad left my Mom to live with the woman he cheated on her with and my younger half brother. He always came around periodically for an hour or two and left again. We hardly did anything of value together.

I really struggle to remember the details of my childhood for some reason. I know my family told me they were proud of me. I wasn't given a lot of freedom though. When I finally started trying to do stuff I was afraid to make mistakes. My grandparents often criticized basically everything I did. Even if it was right, they'd say good job but there's always something else wrong or something else I should have done. At a certain point I kind of gave up on school dunno why. I remember my Mom basically saying she didn't give a fuck if I ruined everything from there. I think I have a good family though.
I didn't think narcissism was a real mental illness.

Is that really a matter of growing up? This seems like one of those people say you'll "grow out of" but it's really just some sort of emotional issue that you have to actively work through.

>I didn't think narcissism was a real mental illness.

It is. But you shouldn't try diagnosing yourself.
As far as the rest goes, it seems like your issues stem from this mistake avoidance behavior. I remember reading an article that linked it to poor performance, wish I had a link.
Did you have performance spurts throughout your life? When you felt inspired or energized into action and did a lot to better yourself before going back into your old patterns of behavior?

That's growing up. Either you can do it alone or you reach for help, but that's the process.

Asking internet strangers is pretty immature, though. Get a professional if you really need help.

Kek, but seriously women are very annoying creatures, too dramatic, too nosy, talk about feelings 24/7. If I had a gf I couldn't give her enough attention and intimacy in public places disgusts me.

Yeah, you'll grow out of it. Kids pullon girls hair until they learn to actually flirt. You'll get over this disdain soon.

>Asking internet strangers is pretty immature, though. Get a professional if you really need help.

It's not immature. If anything, there's a kind of stoicism in trying to fix yourself without relying on others. The problem is even if you correctly diagnose your problems (which is unlikely when compared to someone with extensive education in the field), there are all sort of biases that will prevent you from truly holding yourself accountable. It's like trying to be your own boss.

I know how to flirt, but I don't want, my problem isn't charisma, my problem is a very superficial personality I can't just be myself in public, it ends up badly.

>there's a kind of stoicism in trying to fix yourself without relying on others.

You are relying on us, assholes that spend our days bitching online and insulting each other. If you really want help, go with someone that knows what they are doing.

Don't diagnose yourself and don't let internet assholes do it either.

You're just projecting. Believe it or not, not all the people posting here are like you.

>Did you have performance spurts throughout your life? When you felt inspired or energized into action and did a lot to better yourself before going back
Yeah, quite a few times. That's happened a lot actually.

that wasn't OP

Still applies to OP, we are not the help he needs.

Yeah like a psychologist? "Socialise more and you are good bro". Very basic normalfag advices. Oh and OP, go for a male psychologist.

>"Socialise more and you are good bro".

That's what he needs. He just needs someone by his side following his progress.

You need to have a BFF or gf for this and for an avoidant person it's impossible. The basic* friend won't go for such lengths.

You show a lot of signs of high neuroticism. You downplay the good things happening in your life and amplify the negative. You don't see yourself as good enough and seek patterns of behavior that reinforce that thinking. You like feeling sorry for yourself and that kind of attitude puts people off.
Things to avoid: predicting the outcome of an interaction (if I do X surely Y will happen so why even bother, it's a self-defeatist way of protecting yourself from rejection or failure), criticizing or being judgmental of people and their actions (not everything is about you), gossiping (never talk about people behind their backs, it's bad for yourself and just bad in general), doing things on an emotional impulse (it's very easy to ruin a relationship for good with one angry day).
Things to try: telling the truth about yourself, admitting your faults and shortcomings, asking for help (people are generally glad to help out when they can), give to others (whether small gifts or small gestures, this is especially rewarding), focus on your own interests, you're probably not busy enough if you have time to sit and overthink things all the time.

That's why he needs a therapist, dude.

do this personality test.

openpsychometrics.org/tests/SD3/
or maybe you were just anxious

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No, narcissists could never admit that they are one. Narcissists like fucking with people and doing malicious shit just to put themselves up in a pedestal. Even after constantly fucking with peoples life’s, they still genuinely believe they’re good people. None of the shit you described about yourself is even remotely close to what someone who has NPD is really like. Seriously, just google narcissism, it’s not that hard.

You just sound reclusive and apathetic. Narcissism is more self worship. I would recommend talking this if you are feeling insecure.
psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic-personality-quiz/

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