Why are me and all my married friends miserable as fuck. Is this normal...

Generally in large groups of friends, people follow suit and marriage becomes a bit of a race after the first wedding happens. This tends to result in undue pressure being placed on couples who rush into getting married (often because of the woman), because they've seen how fun their friends weddings were and they don't want to miss out.

Forward to six months to a year after, the afterglow has stopped, you're faced with everyday stresses and unless you have another big thing planned, the cracks in your relationship show.

Why do you think most couples are pregnant months after getting married? They're running from mundane every day life.

Theres your issue. That isn't long enough to know the person fully, two years is a bit quick to get married. See

the two couples I know who have kids, are the most miserable. One of my friends didn't even want his kid, his wife stopped taking the pill without telling him and now he feels stuck, he sleeps in a Bassboat in their garage, his wife constantly gives him shit for not wanting to sleep in the same bed as her. The other one didn't really want kids either, but his wife "accidentally" got pregnant, and he loves the baby, but is miserable with his wife, specially now that she quit her job, because she makes it sound like shes a martyr and that hes a lazy shit for going to work.

See - this is the issue. People rush into it for the sake of getting it done. Having a family becomes a cover up for how much regret you have for getting married to someone you know you probably shouldn't have married. It's easy to ignore this when you're planning a huge wedding day, but it all comes to the surface when it's all over.

I say this from experience. I actually had my wedding planned and cancelled it because I knew deep down that they weren't the right person for me and I was just doing it because it was expected.

I am now with somebody who I love dearly and the feeling is so completely different. I would happily marry him, but I'd be happy to have something small and insignificant. There's no rush to do this and I'd happily not marry him, because I'm secure in our relationship.

This is just my experience. I know many people who are happily married. If you are not, perhaps it might be worth discussing this with you wife rather than accepting its a lack of compatibility. She might not even be aware that you don't enjoy these things with her and I'm sure if she did know, she'd rather do them alone anyway.

You should have kids if you're over 30 and married. As Nietzsche said, it's the solution to all womens problems.

I'm miserable because my wife has horrible luck and I have to pay for it.

thats a question only you can answer.
when you marry somebody, you marry your bestest friend.
every comedian will say yes you are miserable meet, talk, fuck and go into seperate rooms untill you die.
you should be asking the proper long term married how they keep the spark alive. you obviously saw something inside her to marry her didnt you?
women stop loving when kids come along. its transferrence. all their mothering instincts kick in and its all about the kid(s) but thats not to say the both of you cant drop the kid(s) at a sitter/grandparents and have a propper date night or "business time"
you didnt fuck up at all your settling for second best is that what you want?
what you want is for the grass to be greener on the other side of the fence.
>>once you jump that fence, you cant unjump it and say whoops i fucked up.

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This
Once she’s raising children she wont fucking have time to be on your back homo

well your friends also have retarded wives, not everyone is destined to be happy together, but its pretty rare to find the right person to, so yeah sorry about that

Shouldn't have married just because you were in love at the time, haven't you heard the term love blinds you? You have to be objective and factual before going into what (should be) a lifelong commitment. Do you two have the same kind of hobbies? Do you both like being social or asocial?

I was in a relationship a couple yeas ago that felt perfect, we both loved video games and anime, and we didn't have a lot of friends. After a year I started to realize our differences, I didn't want to be social, she wanted to have a lot of friends and go out, I was content with what we had, she wanted things to either progress or end. It's too late for you, you shouldn't have let love blind you and marry someone you wouldn't be able to stand

Most of San Francisco is a rundown shithole.

Could you elaborate more?

I feel like I have a similar issue, only that I am the one with horrible luck. I am still paying for it, and dealing with it just fine, but my long-term gf seems to despise me more and more because of it.

And yes, it is literally bad-luck.

>hurr durr you just married the wrong person! All of you married the wrong person
>not like me, I'm going to marry the right person!

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I am so scared of getting kids because of that. Because of her loving only the kids most of the time.

I don't want it. Call me selfish, but I had a 70hr a week job, and still came come to love her properly and take care of her and everything. Even with the biggest shit going on in my life (my part of the family), I gave utmost compassion to her and loved her and took time for her and everything.

If she stops loving me because of the kids, I would literally leave her and take the kids with me and give my self to the children, instead of her.

I never had a great relationship with my mother and my father died when I was young. So I don't understand that parent-children bond. I want my girlfriend/wife to stay my lover with children or without.

>wanting to go off and do your own thing while both of you are home
>this bothered by being a packmule
Yeah man marriage isn't for you

>I was in love, things were good, we had sex on the regular, we did stuff that was fun together, but she still would let me fuck off and do my own thing.
You weren't married.
>Now I can't see my friends without answering a fuckton of questions and her calling me every hour, and the only things we do is watch her dumbass netflix shows, and she gets pissy when I go to play video games, or go take a nap. She also bitches at me constantly, either, because I didn't do something, I didn't do it right, or I took too long to do it.
You got married.

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Why don't you people get prenups?

It’s natural. Love is a chemical reaction that tells you to breed and stick around until the baby is able to follow the tribe at a good pace. Around 2-5 years in your libido goes away and you don’t get the same amount of “feel good” chemicals flooding your brain.

After you have sex with a new partner your brain becomes excited again. Historically people have stayed married for economic, social, and political benefits. When people are free to make their own choices without outside forces pressuring them they usually realize how shitty marriage actually is.

Well you get mad you only watch TV together but you also admitted you don't want to do ANY of the shit she's clearly suggested. Not saying you need to be her bitch, but you'll actually be happier if you put more effort into doing her shit and then she'll have to accept you doing your shit. Be the bigger man, man.

Hey, Married man here no children yet, been married for 5 years after 2 years being a couple and 5 years of friendship, yes living with somebody can be difficult sometimes but unless you are willing to accept the reality that your life is not just your own and try to understand and work hard to make the other person happy, you are gonna have a bad time
TL:DR happy wife happy life

My little user can’t be this cucked

>happy wife happy life
Is my mantra. The only time I do what I want is when she's at work, otherwise, what I want to do is whatever she wants to do. Seeing her enjoy herself is better than any video games I play.

you confined yourself to one person, that's a lot of responsibility that you have to take care of. it's not just some thing you come back to when you want like a hobby. life's what you make of it, if you just expect things to be a certain way that pleases you, then you shouldn't be marrying in the first place.

>Why is my friend who is fucking a dude in a dress (I know hes trans, but fuck dude, he doesn't even have his junk cut off yet) seems like hes happier than the rest of us?
because he has a mental illness and society finds it acceptable to let confused humans roam the streets.

>Why are me and all my married friends miserable as fuck. Is this normal?
It would appear so. Most people never mature emotionally beyond high school. They fumble through relationships unable to properly communicate with their partner and generally fall into incompatible couples. What's even sadder is that people still get married when its clear that they are incompatible and then refuse to split
t. Married man who's never been happier
If you think your relationship will change because you got married, you're not ready to get married
If you need to question why you should get married, you're not ready to get married
If you feel like your doing it just to please your spouse, you're not ready to get married
As my [spoiler]rabbi[/spoiler] said, getting married isn't a next step or change in a relationship, it's a declaration of your love and your relationship to society.
Stop being emotionally retarded, if you're not ready to get married dont get married. If you are married and it ruined your relationship get a fucking divorce.

>I say this from experience. I actually had my wedding planned and cancelled it because I knew deep down that they weren't the right person for me and I was just doing it because it was expected.
Good on you user

Sounds like you married the wrong person. I've been with my husband almost 14 years, married 12, and there are hard times, but it's not a total shit show. There are times when we fight and get pissy with each other, all in all we're happy. I will say this though, if we got a divorce or if he were to die, I would never remarry. As much as I enjoy being married to him, marriage is a lot of work.

Life has redpilled you, user. Marriage is fucking hard, and sometimes it's hard to see the good in any of it.

I honestly, do not want kids with her anymore.
I'm beginning to think marriage is fucking joke, that you basically cut your own balls off as soon as you put that god damn ring on that god damn finger.
These two only confirm that belief, I should have listened to my dad whos mantra was "Be gay or don't get married, because once you get hitched, women will scoop you out and empty you, until you're nothing but a husk, shambling around for their enjoyment, you mean as much to them as that plastic massager in their nightstand."
I do everything she wants to do, thats the problem, I do everything she wants to do and we do or I get to do about 10% of what I want to do, and getting her to stay when we're doing my shit is pulling teeth, during my shows she'll get up and talk on the phone, text like crazy, or just leave, if its going somewhere I want to go, she bugs me about wanting to leave or she'll just take off. When we go to hang out with other couples, its always her friends we hang with (and her friends' boyfriends and husbands are just as miserable as mine.)
My friend who is dating the tranny honestly, isn't mentally ill, hes a fag for fucking a dude, but hes well put together and hes happy with the tranny, they've been dating for years, and they get a long great, the tranny is basically like hanging out with a bro but a bro who bakes a bunch of shit and actually does housework (my wife is now a "home maker" even though we don't have kids, the tranny has a job, AND does housework for my friend, so being a home maker seems like an excuse to just be unemployed). They also never seem to argue, ever really.
The thing is, according to her, our relationship is normal and happy, even though I have told her I'm fucking miserable and I hate all of the shit we do together, and that I feel like I'm decaying in our house.

humans by their very nature are fucking terrible to be around. When we get that close to someone, living with them and depending on them we end up seeing really ugly sides of one another and its not exactly about "finding the right person" because once you spend enough time with ANYONE theyre all the same level of unbearable.
Tbh if i find someone who reminds me when the bins go out thats all i really want out of a relationship at this point lmao.
The whole purpose of your partner really is to stop your life derailing like what happens when you live on your own too long. It's hell but the alternative is worse.

>The thing is, according to her, our relationship is normal and happy, even though I have told her I'm fucking miserable and I hate all of the shit we do together, and that I feel like I'm decaying in our house.

That's nice. It's still anecdotal. I'm sorry your relationship, and that of those around you, is shit.

Just chiming in that I've been married for 5 years now, was with my husband for 4 years prior (I'm 31 and he's 29 now). Things have been really great for both of us, for the most part. We do argue sometimes, but it's not often. We just make the time to take care of each other and go out of our ways to make sure the other feels appreciated. Our relationship isn't indicative of much, I'm bipolar and he's autistic. We got into our relationship knowing we have to spend the extra time to help each other.

Anyway, marriage is what you make of it. Most people just aren't good together over a prolonged period. If you're not happy in a relationship, you should get out of it and find your happiness.

Check out MGTOW
you aren't alone

You should get divorced, and honestly stop dating altogether until you get your shit figured out. You are displaying deep seated trust issues and narcissism that's pretty typical for people on this board.
It is possible to fulfill the needs and responsibilities of another person while still fulfilling your own. Your lack of an empathy and insistence that your wife is "taking" from you shows just how flawed your approach to relationships is.

no shit you are unhappy because you gave your freedom for pussy.

You're retarded

Excellent rebuttal. I can't argue with that logic

I want to agree with this guy and say there's something inherently wrong with the whole marriage institute but I've seen successful (at least on the surface) couples.

And don't get pussy anyway

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