What do people mean by "you don't like her, you like the idea of her"?

What's the difference?

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Meaning you WOULD like her, if she acted exactly how you want her to act

Well let's break this down

"you don't like her"
Refers to you not actually liking how she behaves and carried herself, how she really is.

"you like the idea of her"
Refers to you having a preconceived idea of how she's supposed to speak, act, etc... And she will almost never line up to that preconceived notion.

I know because I was a victim of liking the idea of someone. I know this feel all too well

The truth is no-one can actually like anyone else, because it is impossible to have complete knowledge of anyone else, so all you can like is your impression of that person.

>reductio ad absurbum

Look through all these threads and look at people who "love" some random girl they randomly see.
>oh man she was reading a book so I know she is intelligent
>oh man I just know how happy I will be when I am with her
Then when the relationship fails they change it to:
>all girls are sluts
>all girls just want to cheat on you and use you for your money
Instead of looking at a person as an individual you build up this novel of what you think someone is going to be like.

Nice buzzwords you got there.

Reductio ad absurdum is proof by contradiction. Go on.

Oh shit I've been using that wrong
Thanks for correcting me before I used it irl
>your point was still shit tho

It's not actually quite proof by contradiction, however proof by contradiction is an important part of it.

Also, no it isn't. You can easily fall in love with a person who hides something about themselves from you, and that thing may be a deal breaker if you knew. And the fact of the matter is that you can never know everything about a person. So everyone 'hides' something, either deliberately or simply because, as I said, it's impossible for them to divukge everything.

>Reductio ad absurdum

Boys! Let me mansplain this to you: When in doubt, google. It's latin and means "argument to absurdity" an is used when the argument leads to an absurd conclusion.

So, what would be the right approach to women? To think of them as what?

As I later went on to specify, pic related.

And my argument isn't absurd, or hasn't been proven to be yet.

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I really don't think we need a poll to find out if anyone actually likes anyone else. Get over yourself or live by your own rules.

I don't know what is the "right" approach to women but personally I treat girls I'm interested as if they have the potential to be my next relationship.
You don't automatically assume someone is right for you. That's what dating is for. You spend that time finding out information about that person to figure out if they are a right fit for you.
If they aren't then you just stay friends with them. That means both if you aren't interested in them and if they aren't interested in you.
I don't know why everyone makes things so complicated.

It means you like what she could become or you like your idolized version of what she could be but if you were really facing the music and looking at it more, for lack of a better word, 'objectively', you would probably realize she isn't really right for you or what you actually want and would cease caring so much about her.

Too bad that has nothing to do with "you don't like her, you like the idea of her."
One is making an assumption based of preconceived notions. The other is drawing a conclusion from misleading information.
If you were to use a phrase to describe your situation it would be "you don't like her, you like the character she has written for you."
A manic pixie dream girl would be the example for the first one.
This imagined character who comes down from heaven to make your dull life happy.

The idea of her is everything minus the time she's on her period wailing like a banshee about how she doesn't have McDonald's fries RIGHT.NOW. and how you aren't getting them for her RIGHT.NOW. and how that's just the worst thing for her in the world at that moment.

A lot of guys want the idea of a girl, but they immediately fly back when girls display anything but that kind of tropey behavior they get pinned for.

People. You think of them the way you should think about any group of people. As complicated, flawed, and complex beings with their own wants, fears, experiences, and biases.

There is no objective reality, you cannot know anything because all you can do is interpret sensory input with your cognitive apparatus and that is subjective. You guys are wasting time arguing, all you have is mental representations of everything and everyone and if that is good enough for you when you are fed more data interacting with them then is good enough.

Think about it as a regression model, you have to adjust your subjective impressions to the real person and the fitting parameter is your perception.

>What's the difference?
Being virgin or someway inexperienced.