My wife and I have been married for a little under a year, together for going on seven years. We have an infant daughter of nine weeks and we bought a house last October. Around four years ago we bought a dog. His name is Chuck and he is a pitbull mix. Attached is a picture of him. We bought him when he was 8 weeks old and when our life was VASTLY different than it is now.
When our daughter was born, she came to me and gave me the whole "the dog or your family" speech because she feels as though the dog is too much work and poses a threat to our baby, all of which I disagree with 100%. We are left at an impass where I feel strongly in favor of keeping the dog and she feels strongly in favor is being rid of the dog. This has driven us to the point of getting a marriage counselor who has yet to be helpful in the slightest.
I just don't know what to do. I firmly believe rehoming an animal except for under circumstances where their life is on the line is absolutely wrong, a sin if you will. If you make the commitment, you should stick with it until the end. Dogs have feelings, emotions, and they remember things. My dog is like a child to me and I feel forced to make a decision that isn't in my favor no matter what I do.
My wife on the other hand, says she has been unhappy with the dog since he was just about a year old and has been afraid to talk to me about it since that time. She says the birth of our daughter sparked her to take action and that the dog being around triggers her anxiety and makes her not want to be home.
As for the dog, he is a rambunctious and poorly trained big dog. He has a tenancy to follow you around the house and try to eat table scraps. He barks when someone knocks on the door and he likes to sneak away to eat cat poop or chew just get into mischief. Otherwise, he is honestly a good boy, at least in my opinion.
I don't know what to do and I'm turning to you guys for help.
Shoot it. 100% serious. You're right rehoming is it is pointless and cruel. Take it out somewhere in the country, throw it a steak, and kill/bury it on the spot. "a bloo bloo bloo dog's lives are valuable" only women think this
Matthew Taylor
>As for the dog, he is a rambunctious and poorly trained big dog. If I had a baby I would feel the exact same way as your wife based on this line. If you really love the dog and are willing to say this, I'd say there's a chance that it's worse than you're interpreting it. Not trying to insult you, we're always willing to excuse shitty behavior out of the pets we adore, everyone does it. If you want to show her you're serious, you should enroll yourself and the dog in some training courses right now. If you're not willing to get the dog PERFECTLY trained and 100% well behaved, rehome him.
Cameron Powell
happy wife happy life. im assuming you work while you make your wife take care of a 2 month old infant AND a dog-that doesnt listen and is poorly trained? desu coming from a wife and mother, i understand completely what your wife's going through. shes in nesting and protective mode. you on the other hand could care less about your baby and if your dog jumped or bit your child. youre putting your dogs feelings ahead of your wife and child? i honestly feel bad for your wife because she told you doesnt feel safe and youre not giving her any support. go marry your dog.
Jace Miller
>the pitbull poses a threat to our baby it does you are wrong
Kevin Butler
>poorly trained big dog
Either train your fucking dog properly or get rid of it. Sorry senpai, but you're a married parent now. Your kid comes before your shitty dog.
Austin Gomez
>My dog is like a child to me
And your daughter is like a what to you?
Anthony Wilson
This.
Hudson Jenkins
This comment is 100% emotion based. I find no merit to anything you've said.
Training is an option and we've talked about it. The problem always comes down to time and cost though. It's not like we CAN'T afford it and we have NO time for it, it's that my wife is not willing to invest any of her time or money on it. IE, she expects me to do 100% of the work involved in training and strictly use my "play money" portion of the income on training. I don't find this fair although I may just break down and do it. A little voice in my head keeps coming forward though and saying "If she loved you she would support you more in this".
Liam Sanders
I agree with the poster above. If you want to please your wife and keep the dog, get the best training available and make him obey both you and your family.
I do like dogs and he seems like a good dogo, but I DETEST Pitbulls and pitbull owners. It seems they sometimes just snap and fuck shit up, so lets hope that shit isn't your kid. Maybe I'm generalizing and not all are the same, but more than half of the videos involving dog attacks are from this breed.
Gabriel Butler
No, nigga. You are the one that needs to compromise because your child's safety comes first. You want to keep your shitty dog? Fine. You pay for it and take the time to train it so it is less of a risk to your baby. Your wife is 100% in the right here.
Robert Gray
Exactly this. Jesus fucking christ OP youre a selfish bastard.
>it seems opinion discarded. As someone that would personally never own a pitbull, its the owners' fault. 100%, every time.
OP, train the dog, kill it, or re-home it. An untrained pit IS dangerous, any large untrained dog is and your wife is being reasonable. Even if it comes from a place of emotion, your want to keep the dog does too.
Colton Myers
At least in addition to being honest you are logical. I know training is probably the only real option here. It's always been on my mind but I've always looked at it as being such a difficult task. I suppose it's my responsibility to weigh how badly I want to keep everything together and put forth the effort. A few of the comments here actually helped me.
I have a hard time seeing things from her point of view. I wish I could flip a switch and understand her better. I am seeing that I should give some serious thought to training though.
Thanks for the opinions everyone. Only a couple of you got through to me in any way but I appreciate the time nonetheless.
Jaxon Gonzalez
Is it also the owner’s fault when lions maul people?
Oliver Hughes
I agree with you. Telling you it's your sole responsability to take care of the dog is a shitty way of dealing with your first family problem, and this alone should give you an idea of what kind of a mother/wife she will turn out to be.
But yea... if you REALLY want to keep the dog give your best and train him alone. Who knows maybe if shit goes sour between the two of you, you still get a bad ass loyal dog. .....and a child support deduction
Robert Collins
I do think it should be your time, money, and responsibility, especially if your wife does most of the caring for your little girl. Try not to blame her, she could easily be thinking "If he loved me, he would respect my fear of this dog and my concern for my daughter's safety."
Logan Carter
Yes. The owner did not have control of a dangerous animal when around others. Just like its the owners fault when a pit mauls something, the owner had no control. Trust me, you can control a dog.
Zachary Powell
Thank you for the constructive insight! We are going to bring this issue up with a marriage counselor next week and hopefully get a chance to talk without devolving into screaming. I actually said to her today, "What if we get rid of him and still get a divorce? Then what do I have?" and it amazed me to hear her say "I get your point. I don't know what to say."
There are so many aspects involved but I get your point. It's easy to get caught up in our own opinions and emotions. I am trying to put myself in her shoes more often but damn that's easier said than done.
Daniel Roberts
This. OP, when you become a parent, if you don't want to be a trashy parent, you don't get to be selfish anymore. Especially in the beginning, everything is done in the best interest of your child. Your wife understands this and is simultaneously sick of putting up with your dog's bullshit bc you're too selfish to train it. You either train it, or expect an ultimatum and a lawyer sitting on your head. Or even worse, a deformed or dead kid directly because of your actions.
Alexander Phillips
>I've always looked at it as being such a difficult task It might be the easiest thing in the world, actually. Many dogs are so easy to please that once you have training basics down and a basic understanding of operant conditioning you can do nearly anything with them. Hopefully your dog falls under this category. If you do a little research and find a worthwhile trainer, the whole process should be completely painless and might end up really helping in the long run. Well-trained dogs with owners who understand the process and concepts are one of the greatest things on the planet. Even if things don't go well with your wife in the long run, this is something you should do for Chuck and for yourself.
Jace Martinez
Whoops, easy = eager
Matthew Mitchell
I've reached out to some local trainers while I monitored this thread. I'm waiting to get some calls back but I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make it work. I know I'll probably have to sell some things but I am prepared to make sacrifices. Thank you.
Luis Fisher
>only women think this >OP's is a guy >OP's wife hates the dog
i mean , 7 years and you couldn't see this coming?
do you talk to your wife?
Benjamin Walker
>and he is a pitbull mix >and poorly trained big dog
This is not good. Pitbulls account for a disproportionate amount of dog attacks on children and poorly trained ones even more so. Where you see the dog as a good ole boy it's quite possible he sees himself as boss of the household when you're not around and that's a really dangerous thing.
Get rid of the wife and child or get rid of the dog.
Grayson Morris
>in my opinion
Fuck your opinions, faggot
Tyler Turner
As much as a kid is a commitment a dog is aswell. Females have no feelings towards other creatures beside themselfes. In 1 y. she might abandon your kid aswell.
I know the data and the the info about pit bulls and would never get one. The important part is to find out under what premise you got the dog. Did she want it? Was she willing to take care of it? Every one of this questions appeals to your kid.
It is not a toy you can play with and throw it away after 1y. The training part is also way to late.
Listen, its not like your wife has not thought about it. She probably has, she probably said to herself that her time is not worth it and as soon the kid is there, she would force you to get rid of it. I feel bad for you man. Just shame her in her shitty behavior, adress the first aspects of geetting a dog and in end just train him.
Like there aint a shit ton of terrible mothers apperently spending their life on an forum giving shitty advice.
Joseph Perez
A work friend of mine has two little girls and two dogs. One is a Terrier and the other is a similar breed to yours. They'd had the second dog for 8 years, no issues, then the dog just went for the little girl one day. Straight for her face. She had to have surgery and will have a scar right down her face. She didn't do anything, the dog just flipped out, and he was really well trained from her husband.
Same kind of situation as you guys, the wife (my friend) didn't want the dog, but her husband did as he owned him first.
Social services were involved, they had to have him put down but kept the little dog.
It's not worth the risk. I hear constant tales about how lovely those dogs are, but you rarely hear about a labrador biting a kids face off.
Think of your family and put him up for adoption.
Thomas Wood
>Same kind of situation as you guys, the wife (my friend) didn't want the dog, but her husband did as he owned him first. >Social services were involved, they had to have him put down but kept the little dog.
That's really tough punishment. I truly don't think the husband's failure to train the dog should have led to his death. Surely they could have fined him or something, just for owning a bad dog.
Jordan Phillips
Kill the dog. Pitbulls are the niggers of dogs. Get a shepard or a retriever.
Jordan Watson
Ho ho hoooooo.
You know what I mean user, they put the dog down. Husband is still alive and well.
Elijah Perez
Dog's aren't (typically) bad. One breed isn't any more or less even tempered than another if you bring a dog up right. Your wife is buying into the "PIT BULLS ARE KILLERS" meme because she spends too much time on facebook. Fact of the matter is, that dog will probably be your baby's number one all time protector if you'll just let the dog know what you've got there. If there's no history of violence with a dog there's not going to be a mauling "just because it's a pit bull".
On the other hand, if your wife is going to be hard headed and stupid for no reason, then you have to ask yourself if the dog is worth all this hassle with a newborn. It's a tough decision but it's one only you can make.
Lincoln Ward
Pit bulls are killers though, you fucking retard.
Google news them and you'll never cease to see them mauling another animal or person. Ya jackass
Zachary Williams
Pit bull lifes matter
They diddndu nuffin, its the master with the leash
Ethan Rivera
Your wife is right and wants to protect her child while you don't give a shit about anything but the dog. How this is even a choice is beyond me and I wonder why you even allowed the pregnancy. Pitbulls and babies don't mix
Isaac Perry
After reading through all of your responses OP you don't give a shit about your daughter, barely mentioning her welfare. Its all about the power play between you and your wife and the only thing you really love, Chuck. You give his name and his redeeming qualities and minimize the bad. It appears you aren't ready for the responsibility of a child, nor marriage and your wife has two ill behaved big dogs in her house.
Nolan King
Is this bait? I hate to tell you this, but pretty much everyone who's ever been attacked by their pitbull gave the "he a good boy" argument. Dogs are unpredictable and you've already admitted that the dog rambunctious so yeah, there's an obvious danger to your child, no matter how much you train the dog desu.
Is there a way you could re-home the dog to a friend who wants it and stop being such a massive cuck about this?
Easton Gutierrez
>"I get your point. I don't know what to say." This line alone makes her a valuable wife material, even more taking in consideration that she is being heavily affected by emotions through this period.
OP, try to be reasonable, she does have a good point, and I can see yours too, just be sure to try all the options available before making some harsh decision, godspeed.
Christian Russell
Is Chuck the only name pitbull owners can think of!?
Luke Cooper
Kill the dog, obviously. Or sell it. Unless your child and wife are less important than some ugly and smelly animal lmao
Gabriel Gonzalez
>My wife on the other hand, says she has been unhappy with the dog since he was just about a year old and has been afraid to talk to me about it since that time. You have a shit marriage. Quite frankly I'm surprised your were able to hold the relationship together for seven years in light of dumb shit like this. My honest opinion would be to ask her about doing couples therapy because you both clearly have a terrible ability to communicate with each other.
Parker James
More than 50% of deaths by dogs are from Pitbulls, but yeah, they are angels
Charles Davis
You have a dangerous breed and you haven't trained it properly. I don't care how much of a 'good boy' he is: He's still an animal. An animal that has been specifically bred to raise it's aggression levels. He might respect you, sure but what about the small one walking around? Your wife is being over-blunt but with how avoidant you're being of actually taking responsibility for it all I'm not sure I can blame her. Fuck your dog dude.
Tyler Jackson
Its because pitbulls are opressed and don't have a chance on society user.
Dylan Edwards
Its your dog. Train it, fag. It's not that fucking hard.
Julian Miller
Find someone nice to take the dog. Later on get a different dog that's properly trained when your dumb baby is a tad older.
Gabriel Kelly
Why the fuck does it cost money to train a fucking dog? Just train it yourself. No wonder your wife is annoyed with you.
Chase Williams
>Implying you can own a lion
Daniel Gomez
Okay OP, this is coming from a dog lover. I don't think pit bulls are bad, the breed just attracts irresponsible assholes for owners (not ruling out that's why you have one).
I also have a rescue that bit me every day for the first 3 months. She's still a little spazzy but I trust her around kids she knows - and that know how to behave around her. That's because I trained with her every fucking day and have maintained the same rules/boundaries since day 1. The biggest thing is consistency - with a young child rule #1 is no teeth or paws on people, ever. I did training myself but after so many years of failing to train your dog, you should get a professional involved. However, you still need to read up on dog behavior. Also check out kikopup on YouTube - she has some great videos on basic behaviors using positive reinforcement that helped me a lot (leash manners, barking at the door, etc). You need to do the work at home because the best trainer can't help if you don't put in the effort.
However, none of this matters if your wife isn't on board. Consistency is everything and she needs to be enforcing the correct behaviors when you're not home. If she's open to training - start on your own and hopefully she'll feel more positive if she sees some improvement. Otherwise, re-home the dog.
