Hey Jow Forums, got a major problem. I have figuratively opened the Pandora's Box. You see, my girlfriend of multiple years went backpacking in Thailand and other East-Asia countries from October to February. It was her second time, even. And she apparently kept a journal. And I read it.
I WISH I didn't. Ignorance is bliss, you know? You see, I have reason to believe she cheated on me. Most og the pages are basic, normal travel stuff, but two things made my heart skip a beat. The entry dated 3.1.2018 was about her New Years.. And there is a short passage "Later in the evening I went to another bar alone, and I met Kiwi-Andrew. The new year began quite nice at his hotel, eh."
And the other thing: an entire page dated 9.1 talks about how she is annoyed at her "emotion coldness" and a passage says she "likes sex, but it doesnt really matter who the other party is, it could be anyone."
Now, Im not dumb. The Andrew shit seems obvious. The second part makes it seem like she maybe cheated with MULTIPLE people.
But here's the thing. I absolutely love her. We're doing better than ever right now. If I had not read her diary or journal (that I found in her drawers, mind) I would not be having this problem. Should I just.. Let it slide? Am I even capable of that? I want answers, but at the same time I think mentioning any of this is an instant break up (because obviously its my fault anyway for invading her privacy.)
I DONT KNOW what to do. I think cheating is the worst thing ever to do to another person, but I dont know if I wanna lose her. I love her and besides, I feel like I couldnt easily bounce back and get another gf..
If it was me is break up with her. There's no fucking way I could continue the relationship know that.
Christ it's shit like this that makes me never want to date again.
Brody Flores
Letting it slide isn't really an option. That shit will eat away at you over time until you confront her about it, and sooner's better than later. Yes you'll probably break up over the snooping if not the cheating, but that's almost certainly for the best if your gf likes to fuck other dudes. Don't think it won't happen again.
Brody Ramirez
Depends. Can you let it slide that your girlfriend is a disloyal low empathy psycho who doesn't care who she has sex with and admonishes her own "emotional coldness" which is basically an admittance and dismal of her own guilt?
Adam Bell
Right? She is the most innocent neighbour's girl personality, and now this. Who can you even trust if not somebody like her? But breaking up is.. It would be hard. She is super important to me.
Maybe the worst part is that before she left for Asia, in September, she called and texted me extremely guilty about kissing another guy drunk. So I thought I could obviously trust her not to cheat. Now Im not sure I even know her anymore.
Justin Gutierrez
I appreciate the rationality, which I feel like I am lacking. But I cant stress it enough how much she means to me, and how we're doing better than ever right now. Had I not read the journal, I would be the happiest in years.
Besides, I dont know how to confront her about it if I did. Gahh.
Camden Bailey
Black Mirror season 1 episode 3: The Entire History of You. That episode is how I feel right now. At the end of the episode, the man has uncovered the truth, but wishes he hadn't, because in the process he has destroyed everything he had. Am I doing that right now? Existential crisis-tier stuff right here.
Ryder Lewis
Imagine what else she is hiding. Can you honestly continue being with someone like that?
Kevin Hall
I wouldn't say break up with her but stay long enough to catch her red handed since you don't want to confront her because it might lead to breaking up because "you invaded her privacy". Stay with her but keep an eye on what she does and who she meets then if you have a solid evidence of her cheating, drop her like she's a plague ridden rat. Meanwhile just stick around and fuck her as much as you can whilst looking for a new girl. Best of luck pal
Parker Evans
I dont know. I dont know I dont know. The other option is being alone. Do I prefer a cutesy loving relationship with the girl I love - based on lies? Maybe. I DONT KNOW. This is all so fucking sudden. Imagine I confront her, but I forgive her... Would she take that as an approval to cheat more? WOULD she even cheat more? She is no longer across the globe... uGhHhGhhh.
I have only ever been in one different relationship and that never even escalated to sex, and I dumped her for lack of chemistry. Now we have such... Good chemistry but this. Wtf guys. Agh.
Aaron Hernandez
I.. I was thinking of something like this, actually.. Sticking with her but keeping an eye on anything suspicious, and opening the box of secrets if she tries to weasel out of something I catch her doing. It's like... Parole. Keep trusting and loving her on the condition she doesnt do anything anymore.
I feel like a cuck, wew. Fuck me.
Isaac Peterson
This seems like a bad idea. He'll come off as clingy and controlling. OP just needs to end it. This is fucking obvious and she already cheated anyway.
Daniel Wright
Relationships are built on mutual trust. If she's been sleeping with other men behind your back it means she cares a lot less about the relationship than you.
It's up to you to decide how much her unfaithful behaviour influences your view of her, but relationships have to be maintained by both sides. You should want your partner to at least be honest with you. That hasn't been the case.
It's better to address it now than to sit back and wait for things to escalate. It's going to eat at you and it sounds like her behaviour is not going to stop on its own.
You don't *have to* break up with her (even though you have every right to, and probably should). However, if you value your relationship with her as much as you say, you need to at least talk about it.
Luis Lopez
You know what the problem is. Do you think you can forge this? Will it eat away at you and will you drop hints and eventually destroy what is already destroyed?
Do what is the only punishment for slutty cheaters and disappear on her, completely. Make no comment on anything to her ever again and let your actions speak. Don't even afford her a goodbye..
Find a girl that wants to travel to find yourselves with you, not herself on the international meat carrousel.
Good luck bud.
Justin Barnes
Hey man. I have been in your same position. I however confronted her about it and it only led to me feeling guilty and her taking more advantage. Think of it this way. When y’all break up(which you should definitely break up with her) don’t think of it as you are alone. You will hurt. You will cry. You will want her back and think you’re ok with the fact that she showed how little she respects you. However you won’t be alone. You have always been “by yourself” before you were in a relationship. You don’t need that to be happy. You have got to remember the things you love about yourself and the things you love to do. Think about how annoying that bitch is. Not only that think about how she fucking betrayed you. BREAK UP WITH HER AND DONT EVEN TELL HER WHY. I promise she will be begging for you back in a month or so and then you can laugh at her misery. Love you
Ethan Harris
This post makes it sound like the only reason you value the relationship is because you want a relationship. You're in love with feeling loved.
Carson Clark
Start showing signs that you're losing interest. She'll feel like she may lose you and if she's worth it she'll chase you.
Or you can be a badass and just dump her right now.
Either way just don't be needy under any circumstance.
Carson Evans
Do not talk to her about this. Just text her and say hey look I’m sorry but it’s over between us and then IGNORE HER FOREVER. She will literally lose her fucking mind lul
Andrew Gomez
Friend of mine, his brother owns a backpackers hotel in Panama explained to me that most of the women, if not all that he met, could only afford backpacking by fucking with people to get what they need. If they spend the night at someone's place chances were they would end up having sex as payment, although it isn't clearly stated as being payment.
Brody Morris
99% certainty this isnt the case. She worked and saved up all the money for the trip beforehand. And besides, that isnt a good excuse if you ask me..
Andrew Myers
>Ignorance is bliss Yes it is but now you know. I read the whole thread and see you want a relationship with her more than anything so you just need to accept on occasion she needs to fuck around to keep everything all good. She is discrete at least and the guys she meets and fucks not calling and picking her up for dates in front of your house. If you want to keep her you should keep your mouth shut and not complicate your new reality
Benjamin Wilson
Women go on these backpacking trips precisely to have sex. Its spiritual to them, which is why they usually choose asia and thailand because its so much more spiritual with yoga and veganism and free love.
Aighy guys, thanks for all the advice. Im probably not gonna so anything right now, in any case: because she is so important to me, Im willing to _try_ forgetting. If I cant, I'll confront her, I guess. But that comes later: right now is not a good time for me to deal with all that baggage.
I know that I should not allow a cheater this reprieve, but I cant help myself. I am willing to give us a chance. I know that due to this we will never last forever, but I dont want to cut us off cold turkey - at least there is sex and the feeling of being loved, yeah. I like to be in a relationship so I might aswell attempt to hang on until I can jump ship to some other girl or something.
Cheers, guys. Be smarter than me.
Ryan Evans
I've backpacked in central and south america and southeast asia and some girl do but so do some guys, depends on the person. However, you do meet a lot of people from all over the world and you bond with many. Some for a night or couple days or week and you fuck them if you want. You see, the world you came from is so remote when you are out there you forget commitments, stresses, family, friends, responsibilities and live in the moment.
Chase Cook
You're a fucking beta for that and you only help make things worse by allowing women to get away with this. She disrespected you, betrayed your trust and you're willing to let it slide? Grow a fucking backbone and find someone that deserves your trust not some roastie. Can't you see she's using you. Don't be a cuck user
Don’t worry about her young lad. The sea is plentiful of fish. Sometimes you may have to sit a let the little fishies swam by and eventually you’ll see your opportunity to catch the biggest yodowskiest fish.
Bentley Diaz
this, just fucking DIP on her one day out of the blue, she'll never see it coming.
Then just tell people "she knows why" when they ask and give no details.
Cameron Foster
>I feel like a cuck
if you stay without even confronting her about the literally confirmed cheating, then you ARE a cuck my dude
literally just text her "bye lol" and go.
Eli Watson
This has got to be bait. What kind of idiot writes stuff like that down in a journal.
