Is there someone I can call to get rid of a big bug in my house?

Reminds me of when I was a kid. Woke up for school one morning, and saw a giant rat the size of a 2L bottle of soda run along the wall. Scared the shit out of me.

You've got to watch out for those roaches, though. Humanity's most aggressive predator.

This is natural selection on action.

Think of it as just another living being trying to make their way in life
They want to live too you know
Leave them in peace

AIDs is trying to live in peace too.

Sounds like a possum. The first time I saw one it freaked me out too. We weren't supposed to have tgem this far north.

>roach
my worst foe. get picrelated. auto parts stores carry it, hardware stores usually don't, walmart probably does, amazon definitely does. it very efficiently kills the fuck outta the little bastards. gotta be sharpshooter with it though, don't ever go spraying it blindly under the fridge or other appliances. if you can convince yourself to ally with the spiders and leave them be when you see them, they'll be your boots on the ground and fuck up most roaches and other faggots before you'd ever even have to see them. speaking of boots, wearing those can help calm you down a bit when you're scared shitless like this. so can going for a walk and getting out of there for half an hour. lastly, boric acid (i think, double check me on this one) mixed with a bit of water and sprinkled around the perimeter ourside will act as a good first line of defense for incoming assailants.

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I have RAID roach spray which 100% always kills the roach within seconds, actually I finally managed to kill the thing after having a panic attack standing over my bed. It was nearby and I grabbed it and heroically sprayed the fucker.

I still called my dad to come help me pick it up. The killing is the relatively easy part (though I was screaming when I even looked at the thing), the hard part is mustering the courage to shovel it or handle the body in any way to remove it from my apartment. Jesus fucking christ I'm not meant for this world.

>Is there someone I can call to get rid of a big bug in my house?
> Not an infestation, Just one bug.
Try your boyfriend?

Boyfriend is a vegetarian Buddhist never kills living creatures

I'm a single guy

>single guy
>weeaboo
>too much of a pussy to kill a roach
yeah, this checks out. i think i can guess what your life is like.

>unemployed
>single
>cisgender
>watches anime sometimes
>programmer
>can't afford programmer socks
>live in a city
>plays games
>built his own rig running ganoo loonix
>faps to weird shit
>lives on microwave stuff
>attends anime expo whenever he can
>not a virgin but hasn't gotten laid in over a year

feels less than good man

>from bed
>seconds
>the virgin raid vs the chad electronic parts cleaner.jpg
raid is garbage. i can get well within heart attack range with the other stuff because of how fast it holotoasts the BBC menace. talking barefoot and literally 2 feet away from the roach because i know it doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting close enough to touch me. plus being able to bambi off to the cabinet and back at lightspeed means the bug has very little chance of getting away or restrategize its position. no more sidetrips to put shoes on and then having to approach slowly while telling myself not to be a pussy and getting my nerve up since it's probably moved and is trying to sneak up on me too now. fuck all that noise. electronic parts cleaner is BOSS. meanwhile raid doesn't kill immediately, doesn't evaporate immediately, doesn't clean the gunk away from your little dc motors or motherboards or anything else, gets everywhere because of how much of it you gotta spray out, and smells like acrid ass. raid a shit.

anyhow picrelated for all your postmortem undertaking needs

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but these bugs are never near my electronics, I have no idea why you have this problem so often that you use electronics parts cleaner instead of raid

Are you a serial killer? And prove it.

i live in a climate with a lot of bugs and spent 3/4 of my life deathly afraid of ALL of them. had the parts cleaner at hand once a few years ago when suddenly a wild roach appeared and sprayed it hoping it'd at least slow it down long enough for me to get away and was promptly amazed by how quick it dropped it. bug phobia is dicks so i recommend this stuff whenever i catch a thread like this. spiders thing changed my world more than discovering the dual usage of parts cleaner but that's a much harder sell for obvious reasons.

okay sure killing it is the easy part but how do you handle having to sweep the bug up? That's where I'm deathly afraid really. The spray thing is just momentary fear but soon it dies and you're left with the dead roach somewhere. It's huge, it's clunky, it needs to be moved outside somehow or thrown in the trash.

I can't look at them without fear, and touching them is terrifying. Even with a long broom, you can feel the body as you're sweeping it into the bin.

just nope

ahh ok, i hear ya. yeah killing it was always the harder part for me, once it was ded i could relax a bit since i knew i wouldn't accidentally cone into contact with it. still can't even step on a roach though, or smush smaller cunts like beetles with a paper towel, or anything like that so i know what you mean there. if broom is too much contact, get a long handled vacuum attachment. shop vacs are bretty gud if you've got a use for one, just be mindful when you go to empty it because it'll startle the fuck outta you if you forget there's a carcass in it.

Oh shit actually that's not a bad idea.

What if I get one of those vacuums with a disposable bag? Btw would those bugs get stuck in the vacuum hose? I didn't even consider that a vacuum could suck up bugs.

I like that solution because it means I'll spend less time in contact with the bug.

bag ones are proper vacuums, should have one of those anyway if you've got carpets just for general cleaning. nah, won't get stuck in the hose. if it's full and you're getting reduced suction i could maybe see one of the big fuckoff roaches not making it all the way through to the collection chamber and falling back out once you turn the power off, but emptying the vac and/or gravity would take care of that if the issue ever arose.

One time I hit a coon rummaging through our dumpster over the head with a 2x4

The only sure method of quelling insect infestation is deep fog bombs. Use every 3-6 months for 2 years and the bug corpses inside the walls will eventually form a substantial poisonous barrier to further infestation.