Pic just a random hot girl who looks kinda like my girl.
Aight so here's the deal.
I've got a girlfriend, I love her, wanna marry her someday, etc. Year long relationship, never had an argument, fuck every day, besides some medical issues, life is good.
I used to be a fat nerdy kid, not anymore, am now a competing athlete and musician, so get alot of attention from girls i'm not used to. My girls the only chick i've ever fucked, but cus I was such a loser in the past, I lied for a long time, lots of my friends and my girlfriend think i used to be a player with loads of experience. Now i've got a girl im convinced is the one, and I feel weird about the idea that i'll never bang anyone else.
Options: 1. Man the fuck up and deal with it (probably a good idea) 2. cheat on her (don't even think i'd feel guilty but i hate how it would hurt her if she ever found out) 3. loopholes through threesomes (talked about it before, she's not against the idea but weird about it cus of body confidence due to the aforementioned medical issues)
Not even sure if im asking for advice as much as venting because there's no one to talk to about this. Used to be a chronic liar, and I'm not anymore, but would ruin nearly every part of my life if I owned up to all my lies now. Am I a bad person? What should I do? I dunno Jow Forums just weigh in, give me outside opinions.
You're kinda dumb dude. You've got a good thing. Don't fuck it up, and don't shit where you eat.
Bentley Kelly
I say do it. On one hand, you'll know the day after if you made the right decision to cheat. On the other, you've already done the damage so you have to lie forever.
Josiah Green
You fucking moron! Just a straight up dumbass! Fuck guys like you. Just leave her so she can find the right person because you are not it. You stupid fat nerdy fuck on a musical diet. Just fuck you.
Austin Adams
Break up with her she deserves someone better
Brandon Rodriguez
Are you going to be lying on your deathbed thinking "boy I sure am glad I fucked enough women to meet my quota"? Are people really this fucking backwards thinking?
Carson King
Do you really love her, though? I imagine that if you're truly in love with someone, you don't want to fuck other people. Not even fantasize, not because humans are not allowed to fantasize, but because it doesn't appeal to you. You want her and her alone.
William Price
You're stupid, aren't you?
Man the fuck up, if you cheat then you're doomed and will probably got a reputation as a cheater. You have two chooses either stay and man up or break up with her. That's litterally the only two options you ever will have. The rest is just plain stupid because you will end-up hurting someone who dares you a lot.
What has happened is just a cliché as you have described. Former fat loser who things he is suddenly a chad because "muh whatever". You lied because you're a loser with low self-esteem which you still are. And now you think the grass is greener on the other side. The truth is almost never greener and will only be a big disappointment.
Andrew Howard
Don't do it, man. Stand by her and be the best man you can.
I've been there and I couldn't decide either. Now I wish I was 100% into this one girl I was with at the time. She was the one.
Elijah Roberts
that is bullshit though. i love my girlfriend (of ten years), trust her and know her like no other people. i think that she is kind, beautyful and sexy (among other things). i still think its healthy to have fantasies even if you are not willing to ever go through with them. the idea of love you have borders on the obsessive desu.
these here are right though. it´s shitty behavior. and he WANTS to cheat.
Jacob Lee
>know her like no other people *person of course, sorry.
Samuel Green
You already know it's wrong, so you really shouldn't have to ask. If you can convince her to pull a threesome then great, otherwise just man up.
Sebastian Perez
>that is bullshit though I guess it depends on how you define love. I don't think the vast majority of people in relationships are in love for 10 years.
Samuel Flores
i am since i met her 10 years ago. nobody compares. i still think it´s healty to have thoughts about other (real/unreal) people. or look at another girls ass/tits in the summer. it´s fun, it doesnt hurt and it certainly does not mean that i dont love her.
>I guess it depends on how you define love i guess you´re right.
Jordan Fisher
>If you can convince her to pull a threesome then great Do not fucking do threesomes. I repeat DO NOT DO THREESOMES
Nathan Myers
Would you have fucked another hot woman of your choice if you knew 100% certain that your gf would never know?
Bentley Sullivan
When you say medical issues, do you mean to say she's a tranny? It would make a lot of sense, given your fat nerdy kid phase. I'm kidding.
>1. Man the fuck up and deal with it This is the option you want to go for. Get over yourself. You have a massive problem if you say you have improved, that you are a competitive athlete/musician and better looking, yet you can't believe it 100% unless your penis goes inside of a mound of flesh. I know the sexual ego is a HUGE psychological player in the mind, but often times it is wrong, and it's your job to keep it in check.
You know very well why you can't cheat. It compromises her happiness. When a choice is made, the moment if hurts others is when we can objectively say it is a bad choice. Also: >3. loopholes through threesomes Careful with that one. If your girl is intelligent, she will read right through that and take diligent note that you desire to fuck someone who isn't her. She will leave if she truly feels uncomfortable. If you do achieve a threesome, you're still not out of the woods. I've known many people who have opened that door and lost their relationship. Once you got what you wanted (girl, girl male). She will want to do male, male, girl. If you're inclined and go this far, she will sooner or later fuck another man behind the scenes thinking it's okay. Because that's what threesomes do, it indirectly enables cheating. It permanently takes the romance/love out of your sex life and operates solely on lust, giving both partners the motivation to cheat.
tl;dr, you used to look like a fat nerdy virgin, but you still think like one. Sex isn't everything, stop glorifying pussy as if it's the only means for validation out there.
Sebastian Taylor
had several chances, did not do it
Colton Young
Can't tell if your roleplaying? Because obviously you should not cheat on her. Sex is such a small part of a relationship lol... it's like something you do once a day with them for what 30 minutes?
You'll regret it if you leave her to bang other chicks when the emotional support is gone. The definition of being smart is really to already know the outcome beforehand and knowing it will be a negative outcome, not do it. A stupid person has to actually experience the pain to know not to do it again. I would say you are just stupid
Adrian Moore
Maybe. You regret the things you didn't do more than the things that you did. All the countries you never went to, the things you didn't see, experiences you never had. Bitches you never fucked probly isn't super high on that list but it's in there somewhere man
Ryan Cruz
Be a fucking man. If you care about her then you know loyalty is the most important thing out there.
Women know no loyalty so when they get hotter they begin to fuck other men. You're not a woman.
Hunter Robinson
>Sex is such a small part of a relationship lol No its not, sex is the reason why adultery is a thing.
Jordan Myers
You need a reality check my friend, real life isn't a fairy tale.
Lucas Stewart
Fuck off. I'm not the guy you were responding to but it does work like that. When you are REALLY in love with one girl you will genuinely not want other girls.
Ian Cruz
How do you even know what real unconditional love is.
Dylan Young
Love=/=infatuation
What you're discribing is the infatuation phase, were you see the person as an unicorn and don't have eyes for anyone else.
We are not monogamous creatures, thats why adultery is a common thing, we lie to ourselves that we love with someone, but when the infatuation phase is gone we realize that other interesting/attractive people actually exist.
What OP is going through is completely normal and happens to most people in LTRs, its up to him to evaluate his options and pick what he finds to be the better deal.
>How do you even know what real unconditional love is. What a mother feels for her child and a dog for its owner can be an accurate description of unconditional love, uncontional romantic love is really, reaaally rare.
Christian Hill
No. Love =/= getting used to and settling.
It's fairly rare to actually be with the girl you genuinely love, because more often than not people are together because both settled for each other because they couldn't be with that other person they love and they don't want to be alone. So they get used to each other and they just live together but look the other way often.
I thought the same you do until I met that one girl. Obviously she didn't love me back, but I did love her.
Colton Collins
Do it, cheat. As long as you use a condom, what harm could it do your GF? She'll never find out anyway, and you will finally get all the pussy you deserve. Don't feel bad, after all, your heart belongs to your GF, having sex with other girls doesn't change the way you feel about her. Besides, she'll probably cheat on you someday anyway, so why not even the score? And maybe you'll find someone even better than her! But how will you ever know, if you don't give it a try?
See OP? Plenty of other people do it. Why don't you join them?
Bentley Thompson
Dude, many, many people have thought to have found "the one" before, sure, we do have cases where people just settle down, but this is not even as common as being carried away by your hormones/emotions and then getting struck by reality, I honestly believe that most human beings are just emotionally illiterate, that's why they use so the word "love" so reckelessly.
The natural feeling of attraction to others human beings is not a proof of lack of love, that would be the case if he is just ignored her feelings and cheated on her, which I'm not advocating for.
Hudson Cruz
No. You may sometimes think you found the one until you have actually found THE ONE. It sounds retarded but I realized that this is what happens. And THE ONE is always going to be in your memory as "the one that got away". All the other "ones" you forget after some time, but not her. Even years down the line you'll still think fondly of her. Because she makes you react differently to everything. Hard to explain but it's a wonderful feeling.
>The natural feeling of attraction to others human beings is not a proof of lack of love Depends on what kind of attraction we're talking about. Looking at a hot 10/10 girl and knowing she's sexy is obviously normal and fine, but when you actually think you'd want to fuck her and replace your SO with her, then it is lack of love and a bad type of attraction.
Michael Gomez
>replace your SO with her That's the thing, if the person is replaceable you can't call it love, love is not strictly related to sexuality, having sex with other people wouldn't mean lack of love if you did it in a honest way instead of acting behind of the supposedly loved one's back, anyway, I still think that your concept of love came straight out of fairy tales, but I can respect that.
Logan Brooks
You'd think it comes from fairy tales but it actually comes from experience. I've experienced true love and man, it changes the way you think about that shit. It's like a drug. If you get your fix from someone, you only see that person and nobody else. You could meet a hundred of women that are objectively better but you won't actually give a shit about them and they'll be invisible to you. Sure you might see how they're attractive and shit but they won't be attractive to you all that much. You won't immediately start imagining them naked and shit.
Jack Moore
>If you get your fix from someone This line makes it sound like codependency, its not because you don't see someone as a magic unicorn until the end of your days that you're broken or never experienced love, if you ever have the opportunity, ask some old couple about the subject.
Anyway, got stuff to do now, have a great day user.
Aaron Evans
Yo am actually op here. Cheers for all this people. I never really wanted to cheat on her I don't think but It's just a hard time for us right now and I think all the questions were building up in my head, good to have some people I can actually say shit to really.
Out of selfishness I'm gonna expand on what I said. She has ulcerative colitis. She was diagnosed with it just over a month ago, hasn't responded to any of the medication and literally today went into surgery to to have a colostomy bag put in. Things got pretty heavy pretty fast considering that, and so I wanted to be able to to speak with some people about the stupid shit I'm feeling and sort things out in my mind, because despite the bag and anything that might happen, I still love her and I wanna be able to look at her the same way no matter what happens.
Thank yo u to everyone who replied, both negative and positive comments. Has helped me clear my mind abit.
