Sexless marriage?

So, here's my story guys... I don't know if I need advice or just to rant. I've been with a woman 13 years... We were there for each other when our mothers died, we are raising a beautiful son, and I can't imagine living without her. I helped put her through nursing school even, but... there's been no sex for a while now. Honestly, I don't think I want her in that way anymore. She's beautiful, sexy and... about as attractive to me as looking at my hand.

Years ago, she cheated on me. We've been in an open relationship since (and yes, we still had a lot of sex for a while), and I (finally) had a girlfriend on the side. It was great. I crushed on this girl a long time ago in HS, but then after dating a year (and going on trips, and family dinners, etc.) she dumped me a bit over a month ago.

I knew she would. She wants a husband, and... I can't do that. I just don't know how to move on. Do I marry girl A like I planned to? Do I say "fuck my life" and run for girl B, hoping it isn't too late? Do I take a trip into the woods and an hero after leaving a long love letter for each of them?

I don't feel complete without either of them, and I can't have both.

I'm all twisted and fucking broken, what the fuck do I do to move on?

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Come on adv, tl;dr do I an hero or do something even dumber?

Something even dumber m8

I'm open to suggestions?

Spoken like a true fucking boomer, you have a son you moron, stop your petty bullshit and focus on raising him, this is why we have a bunch of useless cunts like yourself, man the fuck up, there are more important things than your selfish desires.

>she cheated on me. We've been in an open relationship since
Please tell me this is bait.

You're right, which is why I'm lying in this bed with the girl of my dreams just down the road, my pride gutted, and I wear that stupid fucking smile mask and pretend to be happy every day, raising my son as best I can.

I mean, basically, your advice is, "don't be happy, be responsible." Yeah, doing that now. Just pissing my time away since I can't sleep, and wishing there was a way to be fucking happy. Fuck me, right?

You need a get away, go spend a month in a small mountain town. You’ll know what you must do when you return.

Not bait, sadly. Maybe I should have left her then, but I didn't.

Now I'm here, with a kid.

What is wrong with people these days
>don't be happy, be responsible."
>Now I'm here, with a kid

It sounds like you think your life is a movie or a sitcom, its not man, I can tell from that you just wallow in self pity when anyone give you good advice that will actually help you and is what you wanted to hear but just deflecting when finally hearing it.

Yeah being a parent is hard sure and you wont get to fuck around a lot like you did when you were a teenager but whats more important to you, your hedonistic impulses or your sons well being.

I'll tell you from personal experiance that putting yourself before your kids makes your kids into losers, I'm stuck on Jow Forums and didn't get a job into my early 20s and its only part time, my brother is older than me and play video games all day now, unemployed, our parents drank a lot and argued all the time when we were growing up, I'm not trying to play the victim here, I am trying to improve my life but fucking hell if they were there to teach me how the world is and how to be a better person I would have grown up better, but they didn't know that, most parents dont these days, its sad,

Aight first, it isn't about hedonism. It's the romance, it's... love. I never fucked around as a teenager, probably part of the reason this is so hard - these are the ONLY two women I've ever slept with.

This long-time girl is like my other half, but I feel toward her like I feel towards my left fucking hand - it's useful, I'm glad it's there, but it's not exciting or something I'm glad to wake up to - it doesn't inspire me, or move me. It's utility.

The girl down the road dated both of us for a while... Our kids are good friends, and I just... I know the right thing to do, but how do I take the sting away and be a good Dad? How can I just be *happy* with losing the girl I love so much? I want to be drunk so I don't feel so damn much, but that's not really a good option, now is it?

Sorry mate I dont know that, I resent intimacy and alcohol due to my upbringing and how treacherous people can be, just make sure your kid doesn't turn into me or worse than me, I can tell you for sure that is the most important thing in all this, I dont want to see more losers in the future.

Yeah, he's... well, he IS more important than my happiness... Even though I never wanted to be a Dad I have an obligation. I'll see it through.

It just hurts watching so much happiness and joy fucking circle the drain, and you CAN reach out and get it - but know you never should. I dunno man. I'm just gonna keep breathing, and hope it gets better.

You are posting to a board of teenage dweebs who have never even spoken to a real live girl and complaining about your problems with two women?

How inconsiderate can you get?

Being a good dad is kinda your duty. But I don't think it's necessarily bonded to you being together with the mother.

But what are the chances for your life to get better with the other down the road woman?

Generally it sounds a bit strange. Open relationship? The kids are good friends?
What did the mother of your child thought about the 1 year relationship to the girlfriend? Did she just allow it because of her cheating? I mean being together for one year... There's always a possibility that you'll leave the mother. Did she care about that? Or is she in the same situation like you? Maybe it's a relief for her if you go?

I firmly believe that at least half of adv are men in their thirties who have been divorced.

bookofpook.neocities.org/#ch-47 have a little read.
it sounds like 'your' girl is using you as a security and only sees you as a provider. you provide money, shelter, emotional support and raise her son, while she can fuck around and enjoy life (open relationship).
yet you still can't imagine living without her? have some dignity please
you say you don't even find her attractive anymore. how about you trust your gut and leave her?
you have to be VERY careful that your 'dream girl' isn't just a random girl whom you've placed all your desires into, which stem from your desperation.

>open relationship without sex with a mother of your child who "cheated" on you + broken heart from one sided love towards crush from highschool
Ok then, lets give it a shot.

1. Paternity test. It cost few $€¥£, but definitely worth it.
2. Leave your "open rel wife". You can still be father figure for your son and living the life. Like one week at you, one week at her.
3. Give up your crush. She is gone. Period.
4. Install tinder and go date single moms. They are great, you can have BIG family.
>inb4 single moms are trash and single for a reason
You are single dad. But hey, maybe you will percieve them more sexy than your hand.

And lastly, this user is right. You are pathetic excuse of a man. I cant believe anybody falling for open relationship. That is just so wrong and all favors are in women side. I will call you cuck now and you will get official cuck status when the paternity test comes back.

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I mean, basically, your advice is, "don't be happy, be responsible."

Yeah and you should be getting a good nights sleep instead of complaining about your stupid fucking choices on here.

If you wanted to be happy maybe you shouldn't have had kids. Now you're responsible for their well being and future, so focus on that.

WELL THEN YOU SHOULDNT HAVE HAD A FUCKING KID YOU IDIOT. SORT YOUR FUCKING SHIT OUT.

The open relationship only works if you are the more attractive half whom will benefit more from it.

But even ugly girls can fuck a tonne of guys, so..

OP here - some decent advice.

1) yeah, things could go great with the other girl. Really.
2) the open relationship was my idea. I didn't care that she slept with others, just that she didn't lie.

Boy was it funny when I was the one who started seeing another girl.

3) I mean, Jow Forums is supposed to have adults on it.

4) I really appreciate y'all. Really.

5) yeah, I'll get the paternity test, but the boy is fucking seven. That's my son, either way. Also, he acts like me, looks like me, and is overall an amazing kid.

6) yeah, I am a security blanket, but... she's the exact same for me. The difference is, she still finds me attractive. I might *actually* be the more attractive of the two of us, despite the fact that she's got plump lips, blond hair, like fucking... She wears DD bra but spills out of it everywhere (she needs to go get sized - I'd bet E or larger, for sure), but I am

100% straight.
Like, 100%
That means I can't find men attractive.
I can't figure out if I'm attractive.
Judging by the way others act though... I must be about a 7,5 / 8, better if I were actually in shape.

I can find love again anons, if I want to.

I just... Dudes, think about it. It's my first break up. I'm fucking 30. I really had feelings for this girl for half my life.

It sucks.

Maybe I *am* being cucked.
I'm watching her kid while she goes out with a friend, because some jackass with two thumbs and a girl problem decided we should, "still be friends". I know she isn't interested in this guy - and I know this guy isn't interested in anything (he considers himself asexual) - but why did I do this to myself?

Probably because I'm being a cuck.

Well, this is the last of that shit.

>this is raising a child
Sickening. As if that kid wasn't brought into a fucked up world as it is, you add to it by spending all your time acting like a teenage slut. You should've divorced a long time ago, and I guarantee you've mentally fucked your kid by now

You are not helpful, nor have read my other posts. Are you on Jow Forums just to shit on people?

Maybe you should start your own thread. You could use some advice.

OP's thinking with his dick, he's going to do what he wants. Don't bother.

Theres plenty of good advice there, youre just too butthurt to see it.
>get divorced
>give that kid to someone else to raise until you get your shit together
>learn to re-evaluate mistakes you made in the past so you don't make them again
Not my fault you're too stupid to see the obvious. But Jfc that poor kid, probably gave them retard genetics (have him checked is the advice here, since clearly you're too stupid to see it unless I type it out so any retard can get it)

It's funny, I'm studying to be a materials scientist and his mother's a nurse.

He's ahead of the curve on every learning facet, but yeah -

I'm sure he's retarded you jackass.

Pretty fucking low to say shit about someone's kid. Fuck you.

>nurse, etc.
You realize fob Filipinos who barely speak English are nurses , right? Most degrees can be achieved by anyone, even idiots, as long as you have enough time and money. and you're still "working towards" these things? Ffs you shouldn't of had a kid before those were both already accomplished.
>He's ahead of the curve on every learning facet,
>every learning facet
I doubt that one. The fact you think he excels at literally everything, further tells me that's not actually the case

>I'm sure he's retarded you jackass.
You sound butthurt, you shpuld learn to keep your emotions In check, especially as a parent

>Pretty fucking low to say shit about someone's kid. Fuck you
Again, your butthurt is showing. And no, it's not low, it's reality. It would actually be responsible of you to get them developmentally checked out. The fact you're getting butthurt at just the suggestion, tells me you've never done this and you emotionally probably couldn't handle finding out the truth. Sad because developmentally challenged kids need help, this world isn't easy. Especially when your parent(s) is a moron themselves

No, I'm emotional because I'm a good Dad. He *is* ahead, according to his school, ahead in every facet. He's a bit of a wimp, but I'm working on that. He's fucking seven. Wimp happens.

Yeah, I should have gotten my life together before having a kid, but when your long-time girl says she's preggo despite the contraceptives, there isn't much you could do. I strongly suggested abortion, she said no. Mom hormones.

I'm sure you wouldn't understand.

You're a troll, or the world's biggest asshole neet POS and you aren't useful to anyone.

>long-time girl says she's preggo despite the contraceptives, there isn't much you could do. I strongly suggested abortion, she said no. Mom hormones
Ok that's fucked up of her. You should've left her after this though, you could still be a dad that's not with her, but any woman who pulls that b's is toxic. And "mommy hoemones" has nothing to do with it. I was so flushed with pregencacy hormones I was puking 24/7 for at least a month and a half before I went in and got an abortion myself. I had plenty of hormones fucking me up, none if that strayed me from having an abortion.
Frankly you should've dumped this woman as soon as she pulled this b.s. on you

it sounds like you have issues you don't want to admit or address. Going to family therapy or something might help, you need someone to help guide you through your own emotions. If you don't, you will emotionally pass on issues to your kid, irrelevant of their actual intelligence

Aight, now that was useful advice.

Interesting that you actually did have mom hormones, too. Yeah, it was kind of a bs excuse, but what could I do? I didn't have any higher education at the time, so I got shit jobs that treated me shitty and paid worse. I could leave her, but I couldn't cover the cost of child support unless I lived with my Dad again, and my stepmom was a fucking nutjob.

I put her (call her K) through nursing school ( she's an RN looking to BSN and eventually, maybe NP ), and she's like my other half. I can't do without her, but I don't wanna fuck her. Like...

Therapy is probably good advice. It's the best I'm gonna get, anyway.

Thanks user.