I’ve had 2 partners before

Jow Forums has pretty much influenced my mind for 9 years now. It wasn’t always weirdo woman haters and trapfags. It used to be a place of genuine heart to heart discussion without that much shitposting. Once the robot was removed the first time is when it devolved so much, and by the time it was added back it was too far gone.

I’m not looking for advice on her, I’m more of just trying to figure out how to stop getting triggered when I’m reminded of it. I get it’s the past, but that doesn’t really matter apparently when the thoughts just randomly pop into my head. It’d crush her to leave her over something like this and I believe become such a good person it’s worth staying with her no matter what it takes.

OP, if anything your gf needs some professional help. You have stated some fucked up shit here particularly if she is the unwilling dupe in all of this as you believe. What I'm saying is your issue with acceptance isn't the biggest issue here. Encourage her to get help to talk this through and support her in this but you aren't equipped to do this especially since you are emotionally invested and will react to every fucked up thing that happened. Shit that you had no control over.

whew that's some next level insecurity you got there

you've both knocked people without love, so yes you are a hypocrite

neither of you are perfecf, and all that matters is that she has genuinely loved you

if that isnt enough for you, then dont engage in actual relationships

>she blew for weed once when she was a financially poor

that is really low and stupid. she lost all of my respect in my book.

Yay! I was the rational response!

It's really easy to fall into insecurities when it comes to ex partners, but what you need to keep in mind was that the guy who did this to her was grooming her. He took advantage of her age and naivety and she had no feelings for him.

If you're letting this ruin your experience and you feel as though she has lost her worth as a girlfriend, you have to consider that you have had your dick in another woman and have probably had her vaginal secretions in your mouth. Do you believe this has made you less suitable as a boyfriend? I'm guessing the answer here is no - you're a good partner regardless of the decisions you have made in the past.

People change, circumstances dictate certain bad decisions. You need to work on distracting yourself to the point where you no longer link blow jobs and weed with your gf and this mistake. This will gradually reduce over time as you desensitise your mind to it, but it would probably help to avoid thinking of it repeatedly in the meantime.

I don’t know if the bf or the weed incident came first, but I do know she’s just trying to live a good life now. Thought about counseling but she says it wouldn’t help her as much as I help her. I guess time and trying to improve our quality of life really is the only answer.

She’s always going on about spending our lives and growing old together and here I am thinking about a blowjob some dude probably barely remembers. I can’t remember shit about the sex I’ve had in the past and I have an amazing memory.

Thanks anons.

That girl has the mentality of a drug addict. Weed isnt even addictive like crack etc. But she still sucked dick fir it? Pfft, she's a ho. And at 15? Extra slutty and trashy. This is not comparable to a 1 night stand, the motivation is completely different. I'd gtfo if I were you

Personally, I think we're all allowed to define our own boundaries of what is unacceptable past behavior in a partner.

I'm 31 and have done more than my share of shit (one night stands, married women, paid for sex, etc.). And while I don't disclose that info unprovoked, I've always been upfront with a partner if they seriously want to know about my sexual past. Most have had their own share of shit and were more than cool with it, some were really bothered by it. And I've been the one that was uncomfortable with things other people have done that would cross a line for me (e.g. cheating, orgies, polyamory, etc.). And past behavior or not, we all have every right to say if something a partner has done is something that we can put behind us and that has no bearing on the relationship currently, or if we simply can't see ourselves being with someone who would EVER do certain things.

For me, having EVER sucked a dick for weed would be a deal breaker. Ultimately up to you where your boundary lies. I'm just saying don't feel that just because other people in this thread would let that slide that it is wholly unreasonable for you to be bothered it.

Weed is not addictive but people can easily form a dependence on it. I know tons of stoners that constantly complain about having no money and when I suggest they stop smoking weed they sperg out how they can any time they want to but it calms them down and whatnot. It does have its uses.

At 15 I unironically felony committed credit card fraud for a video game cause I didn’t think my actions through and had no one rational to stop me. Luckily I wasnt caught but it still was really stupid now that I look back. She had a bunch of retarded sluts as friends at the time and no one rational to stop her either.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZjsufO9hZwo

Attached: forwhatitsworth.jpg (1024x576, 64K)

Do you think paying a whore for sex is something that any decent woman should accept? If not, was it worth it?

I don't think anyone is obligated to accept anything I've done. I think it helps that it was something I did one time on a spring break trip in Amsterdam with a bunch of buddies from college so it's understood as "dumb college shit" and "what happens in Amsterdam stays in Amsterdam" as opposed to "this guy has to pay for sex".

But like I said, other people are just like "I would absolutely never sleep with a prostitute and could never be with someone who has." That's their right. I'm comfortable being honest about it because I believe that and because I want someone who I don't have to walk on eggshells around.

People always bring up Chappelle. He’s wrong though, but that’s the fault of our shitty justice system. 15 year olds are pretty stupid man.

>some 15 years olds are pretty stupid

FTFY.

Just like he said, I was 15 years old one too. I was even clinically depressed like OP's gf. And yet, at no point would it even have occurred to me that it would be okay to trade sexual favors for drugs.

Sure, we all did stuff that was comparatively retarded when we were 15 as opposed to what we'd deem acceptable or smart in adulthood, but it's all relative from person to person just HOW retarded they were when they were 15.

Shit that I could dismiss/accept as teenage antics might be unforgivable for someone else, and vice versa.

You probably had friends or some sort of moral guidance from parents or elders at that point. Probably also didn’t have a 28 year old man who’s friends with your father grooming you since you were 12 either. It’s a dumb mistake, but that’s what teenagers do. They need proper guidance or they learn the hard way. She learned the hard way, now she lives with the regret.

>all this bullshit about insecurity

This doesn't seem like the mechanism that is activating in OPs brain. What we're talking about (as now clarified in a later post) was clearly rape. There are mechanisms in the brain designed to be disgusted by this because of how terribly influential it is on the victim. That OP is experiencing a natural survival response to an event such as literal rape is not "insecurity". It could partially be, but to ignore that there isn't other factors at play here is ignorant.

That all being said, as what many people have already said, try not to let it get to you if things are as positive as they are. However, don't ignore a natural process on the claim that it's some inherently negative thing that you are responsible for. Rape is disgusting. You feeling disgust is natural. Just don't dwell in the disgust.

This. As a 15 year old, doing no such thing would have ever crossed my mind. It's hard to relate to someone who has a complete different mindset and set of values. It would be futile to attempt a long term relationship with someone you were fundamentally incompatible.

OP's situation seemingly doesn't fall into this, but the whole "people are stupid at 15" is a bit nonsensical in general. Sure, I wouldn't consider it a red flag that is absolute and unwavering, but it's an indication of values and mindset. These things don't tend to change all that much. They do sometimes, and that's for someone to decide on their own, but they sure as hell have every right now to get into a relationship they think is fundamentally flawed and be chastised and insulted for avoiding something that will probably be mutually hurtful to both parties.

I'm sorry, but as impressionable as teenagers are, they're still capable of making their own decisions.

And believe it or not, we didn't all need role positive models formally instructing us that sucking dick for drugs might not be something we wanted to do. I won't speak to the 'why' of what motivated her behavior, as it's no doubt a complicated combination of nature and nurture same as with everyone else. Similarly, I'd advise you against presuming that people are incapable of making certain decisions without nurture.

It should disgust you. Soon as I read it I was disgusted for you.
Don't allow a board full of degenerate women and loser males to convince you that you're wrong for feeling that way.
They'll imply you're a virgin when most of the males are suicidal loners and the women who post here are loose whores.
Take it from someone who is good with women, use her for sex if you want but don't ever build a life with a woman like that

>She was fucking and blowing a 28 year old willingly, but it's rape because of her age
Of course, she's not a disgusting whore at all
LMAO

>use her for sex

Nah you’re a shithead and not the type of man I take advice from. Already turned her life around and she’s helped me in my life tremendously. Already stated the only thing I’m looking for here are ways to get the thoughts out of my mind to improve the relationship, nothing any of you fags say is going to convince me to leave her.

Take it from an oldfag:

Don't waste your energy making excuses for/rationalizing other people's bad behavior.

She didn’t “want” to do it. In whatever her fucked up logic was she didn’t have money and needed an outlet, devils lettuce. It calms her down. I’ve seen her anxiety attacks first hand and it’s fucking insane how much her brain lets her spiral into hyperventilating and uncontrollable crying and shaking in the corner then back to normal once I hold her for a bit and remind her she’s gonna be alright. She’s not normal at all when she’s in that state of mind, and got desperate enough to warrant doing that to not go back to said state of mind. That’s why I’m not looking for advice on anything about her, strictly me. None of you know her, none of you have experienced first hand the pit she falls into when she’s down. You can give me examples and blah blah blah women are whores old enough to know whatever. I don’t care. I just want to know how I, as in me and me alone, can get my mind to stop thinking about it. It’s not like she thinks it’s okay either. She’s disgusted by it and has pretty much blocked out the memory, but I don’t have that convenience since my memory is fucking awesome.

You two degenerates deserve each other. You are not innocent so you don’t deserve an innocent girl.

Ah ha ha ha good luck m8 I rate this b8 8/8

We're answering your question; you're just not liking the answer.

The answer is "You can't just make yourself stop thinking about it or try to convince yourself that something which CLEARLY bothers you -- and has bothered you for the better part of two years -- doesn't bother you."

We're telling you that you're being dishonest with yourself and that you shouldn't.

Just accept that your girl is a slut. Mine one upped yours and blew a dude for coke in the past and has done plenty other things that are just as disgusting. I am morally superior to her and knowing these things about her made me lose attraction to her somewhat. If I ever notice her feelings and respect for me change I will dump her. I'm not willing to carry the burden of another persons sins and live the rest of my life with someone who doesn't truly care for me. Any girl who says "she didn't want to do something" but still did it is a liar. She wanted marijuana. He had it. She was willing to suck his dick for it. Not wanting to do something and regretting it after the fact are two different things. How she feels and whatever sob story she tells you doesn't matter and if anything is manipulating your feelings in order to keep you in a relationship. There are times where you have to weigh what is worth dealing with versus what isn't. Does this girl give you enough, have enough positives for you to outweigh the negative? Judging by the thread you made, she doesn't and as such you have trouble overlooking her morally corrupt past.

You knew this for two years and it obviously effected you in some way but finally it's come to the front of your mind and won't go away. I suggest breaking up before it eats you from the inside. You know in your gut you can't be with someone who did that. You probably don't have visions of marrying this girl because of it. The only reason you haven't and don't want to is because you don't want to hurt her, are told things constantly such as "the past doesn't matter", scared to be alone etc. You are a stupid fool leading a stupid girl on because you can't admit to your own feelings. This will never go away.

Also you sound like a fag when you justify her wrong doings and over dramatize it as you have. Fuck off.

Been here more than long enough to know what’s shit advice and what isn’t
I’m not being dishonest with myself I’m being honest with you all. I know the dynamics of the relationship and I know what I want and what she wants out of it. You don’t. So dude dump her lmao isn’t advice I plan to follow.

Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

>I know what I want

You want to not think of your girlfriend as a whore, but that's not going to happen because it's a fact that she acted like one and you've already spent two fucking years trying to make yourself okay with it to no avail.

There's only two options when something in a relationship is bothering you: get over it, or get over them. You clearly can't do the former, so stop kidding yourself and wasting our (and your) time acting like it's going to happen.

I'd tell you to ge

>gf'ing a girl that has admittedly sucked dick for drugs, even drugs as benign as weed
weed is cheap and easy to get or grow. it could be argued that this is worse than sucking dick for crack or heroin, due to the highly addictive and life ruining nature of these substances. she wasnt even trying to alleviate withdrawal symptoms
respect yourself, user. ditch her and find a less overtly skeezy woman

No, I already think of her as a former whore. I've spent two years not really asking questions and only really thinking about it when I see people talk about blowjobs or weed too much, probed deeply the other day and got more information than I originally assumed, which is part of why it bothered me so much.

You fuck off nigger. We're already engaged. In my gut I know I can't break up with her, and I know deep down it doesn't matter.
>any girl who says she "didn't want to do something" but still did it is a liar

This is again where I check out. You take your own situation and project it to someone who you don't know, and instantly assume shit you don't know about. That's why the point of this thread is not "what do you think of my girlfriend", it's "what's the best way to stop thinking about something".

The fact that weed is cheap and easy to get is why it kinda annoys me more, but I still believe her reasoning behind it and the regret that came with it. She's done nothing to warrant me leaving her now, so that's not the discussion. Continue suggesting it if you want though.

>I already think of her as a former whore

And why are you dating a girl that you would ever have reason to mentally affix the word "whore" to?

The best answer you get on this is gonna come from talking it over with her.

Because it's the truth. Did a whore's act, didn't do it again, still did it. If I go work at Kinko's and quit my job, I'm still a former Kinko's employee till I die.

That's still irrelevant to my question. Literally two people in this thread have even attempted to answer it properly without some unsolicited faggot reddit advice on the nature of a relationship they don't know two shits about. This is why this board is such a shithole cause you fucking adhd spics can't stay on topic.

Lol I'm sure that will be a productive conversation where he tells his girlfriend about how her previous sexual antics disgust him and how they can get past it.

And just because something is in the past doesn't mean you have to or even can overlook it. If it did, you wouldn't have made this thread.

Bottom line, you just called your girlfriend a whore and are retarded if you don't see the problem that spells for the relationship.

There is no projection. People don't do what they do not want to do. They only have excuses as to why they did it when it comes to taking responsibility for doing something wrong. You are awfully hypocritical, your girlfriend wasn't forced to suck dick for marijuana, that would be rape. She willingly sucked that dick until he came on her face and then got her fix. You only assume that what she is telling you is a 1:1 recollection of the events and that she was forced into it. She wasn't, she made a decision and anyone who wasn't retarded could see through stupid sob stories.

You have your answer you moron. How you stop thinking about something is by removing yourself from what causes the thoughts. You aren't wrong for thinking poorly of a girl who was a whore. She traded sexual services for goods. What she does now doesn't matter if what she has done already effects you currently. Everyone here is telling you to think for yourself and be honest with how you feel. You are only hurting yourself in the long run and a girl you care for in the process. If you want to see what your future with her will look like go search for people who were virgins and waited for marriage who ended up marrying someone who didn't wait. You will see the resentment, people asking how to get over it and general non loving relationships that form because of it. Your girl doing something morally repulsive to you is the same type of thing and will be with you forever. You are marrying a person you consider a whore, because that's what she is.

>Bottom line, you just called your girlfriend a whore and are retarded if you don't see the problem that spells for the relationship.
Pretty much this. If you don't understand how so casually dehumanizing your girlfriend is a terrible red flag for relationship I don't think we can help you.

I did with mine,. It didn't go over well. It was a definite blow to her self esteem and made her feel repulsive. I'm kind of glad it did. I think both men and women should be shamed for the nasty things they have done, both sexual and non-sexual. Once it starts becoming more of a norm then maybe society can get back to where it used to be, people respecting themselves as well as the relationships they form with their partners and their communities.

I said she was a whore to her face yesterday and she agreed. I don't think she's still a whore, so it's not a big deal to her or myself.

I made the thread to find ways to stop thinking about it, not to get useless dude dump lmao advice. That's not helpful, and would honestly make me feel 100x worse.

>people don't do what they do not want to do

I'm doing my programming homework right now. I don't want to do this shit at all, so you're wrong off the bat.

I also never said she was raped by the guy. I understand it was her ultimate decision, but I still understand her point of view. I know she really didn't want to, but did it anyway to get the shit that calms her down. Did she think it through and do something stupid instead? Yes.. But she still didn't want to. You can doubt it all you want cause your cokewhore gf loves getting a train run on her, but I know the circumstances of the situation and the full scope of how she thinks and thought about things, you don't. That's why I don't find it to be something worth breaking up over no matter how much you tell me to do so or "be honest with myself". I am being honest.

It's not dehumanizing at all. I don't think of porn stars as any less human. Most of the women I know have had at minimum of 8 partners and I don't think of them as any less human because they didn't get anything in return. At the end of the day her count is far lower than most, and it's literally less than mine.

I've already told her how I felt and how it makes me feel. We keep an open line of communication, and she takes all of my feelings to heart. That's another reason I'd never leave her over this.

At least I'm able to come to terms with my gf. You're stuck with someone you consider a whore and will never forgive or forget that she procured drugs using her body because you are too much of a pussy to break it off, likely knowing that you wouldn't find someone else. You are stuck with something that will bring pain to you as long as you are with her. I'm sure over the years more will come out, all the things she undoubtedly hasn't told you because of how you reacted with the other stuff. If she sucked dick for weed you can bet that there is plenty more you don't know and likely will never know now.

"I'm doing my programming homework right now." You want to work as a code monkey and are going to school for it. The reason to go to school is to learn and the purpose of homework is to display what you have learned. You don't want to do your homework, but you want to get a degree. So in reality you want to do your homework, because you want to pass and get that degree. Your girl wanted weed but didn't have the money for it, thus she wanted to suck that dick to acquire it otherwise she would have through other means.

I'll just be over here having the ability to enjoy a blowjob while you mentally emasculate yourself and play mental gymnastics because you are weak.

diarrhea of the fingers

thats all you type

Man she was 15, can you honestly tell me you would not have eaten some pussy for weed when your 15

:)

:^)

no cause I'm not a pothead but I would've done it for a $20 playstation network card. I think oddly enough I just needed to vent. This thread has been cathartic and it doesn't bother me as much now that it's been put in some different perspectives. I love her. If I came home and found her sucking some dude off I'd probably kill her but I'd bet my dear Mom's life she'd never do that. That's how much I trust her.

If she truly feels remorse for it. Then I could forget that part. She told you she did it one time and feels lots of regret. If she’s being genuine, which it seems like she is. I’d forgive it.

However, I wouldn’t ever forgive a girl who’s had multiple hook ups. If she’s done it more than once, she liked it.

You did the exact same thing she did, which was have casual sex. But you did it for fun. She did it because she was young and desperate and had low self esteem.

I literally can't comprehend how you can be mad at her

>gf has had 1 partner before (bf of 2 years) and a guy from her school she blew for weed once when she was a financially poor depressed 15 year old (21 now)

Ahahahhahahahah. Bro, your gf blew a guy for weed at 15. His dick was near her brain because the had the downsies once.

Do you really need any advice here?

>make thread asking for advice
>get advice that you do not agree to
>get angry

Guy, it's like this. For each person, there are limits. For me, blowing a dude at 15 for weed would be an instadump, because I would expect my partner to be better than that at any point in her life.

Either accept it as it is and stop thinking about it, or dump her and move on. And for fuck's sake, don't ask for advice if you're gonna get angry when you get what you don't want to hear.

>make thread asking what model of car to buy from Honda dealership
>75% of responses are "dude stop shopping at Honda go get a Toyota lmao"

If I wanted to know where to shop I'd make a thread about it. If you give me irrelevant dogshit advice no shit I'm going to treat your response like irrelevant dogshit. You're part of the dogshit pile since you can't fucking read.

They are relevant. You just refuse to acknowledge them as real advice and instead refute everything anyone says and say they don't understand. In short, you are a mental midget.

Here is your advice. Go suck some dudes dick and then come home with his cum dribbling from your mouth. When your gf "asks what is that?" hold up the bag of weed you got for your deed and say "I can relate now, I'm no better than you". All of your mental gymnastics will be fixed and when you think of her sucking that dick it will change to the memories of that dick you sucked. Retarded faggot.

You've literally had two partners before and you're complaining that she gave head once to another guy?
You know your grandmother has probably blown other dudes right, the only girls that are pure are either religious or underage. Get your shit together man, it's not like she doesn't enjoy being fucked because your dick has been in another person.

Of course not, you're an idiot
Give me her name so I can offer her some weed for a blow job and a dirty sanchez

he's had 2 partners and is fucking a girlfriend and he's 12 years old lol
>God I can even fucking believe a woman lets you between her legs
lol incel