She got fat. Real fat. And her body is more like a bag of garbage. I have tried but I can not find her attractive. Is it ultimatum time or do I just accept this as my sexless life now?
For the sake of fairness, I am balding, short and have pudge. I am however eating right and lifting weights. She is eating too much sugar and sleeping in. She and I both fight depression but love each other and I find her cute and love a lot of things about her just not her fat bulbous stinky vagina.
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Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t communication like the most important thing in a relationship? Why don’t you talk to her about it? Like hey, I love you, but you need to start taking better care of your body so I can find you attractive again. Idk maybe this is why I’m single.
OP here, you are 100% correct. In theory. In practice shit like this goes over about as well as a tooth extraction. You have to figure out how to say your piece without creating massive drama. She might be cool with it, she might also think you're scum of the Earth. It's a 50/50 shot. Figured I'd get some opinions before I put the revolver to my head and pray for the best.
Did you try to get fit with her at all? Go on a hike and have a picnic or something? By the sound of it you already have a lot of hate against her. Going on just what you've said, if say you're likely headed for a divorce, which isn't necessarily bad. It's hard to get back into a positive relationship when you're already spewing so much hate, you probably should break up. But don't be surprised when no one wants to fuck you either after the break up
Congrats on marrying someone you're not compatible with. What you described is in no way a healthy relationship
Print pic related and put it on fridge.
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Literally tell her if she wont lose X weight until Y date, you will request divorce. I am not joking.
(recommended speed is 0.5~1 kg per week) aka 500kcal daily deficit.
>She got fat. Real fat. And her body is more like a bag of garbage
this is my greatest fear
to lock down a qt only for her to blow up because I can't leave her.
Casually ask if she would like to join you during some of your workouts, and sneakily try to eliminate unhealthy food options from your household.
Frame it as concern about her health and offer to take any steps needed to rectify the situation with her. Also are you sure she's not depressed?
That's tough man, good luck. She can either receive it positively and correct her behavior to make herself more attractive to you(selfish, but a genuine concern on your part) and make herself healthier which is an obvious plus for you both. Or, she could freak out on you, divorce you, blow up her story on social media, make you look like an asshole while receiving positive reinforcement from other like-minded women who think it's completely okay to neglect your health because "if you feel beautiful that's all that matters."
Either ask her to go work out with you or pull an ultimatum.
Well it will be your fault if it happens. You must remind your woman she has no control ovee your happiness and you could do great with another woman as well
Id say talk with her about it, and if she doea nothing just leave her. It might sound easy when it's not and I understand, but no man deserves a sexless life.
>For the sake of fairness, I am balding, short and have pudge.
Omg ew lol
I hope she loses weight op, try talking to her about it. Do it together and she will probably be more attractive when she loses fat. Maybe you can look into a hair transplant because there is not much you can do about your height. You can both become attractive, somewhat lol
Well then don't fuck her. actively beat off around the house, not right in her face obviously, but still just make it fairly obvious that you're taking matters into your own hands.
If she tries to have sex with you, just be like "no honey not right I had a long or am having a long day tomorrow I need the rest.
Then when she brings up the fact that you've been neglecting her needs as a woman, tell her that she's also been neglecting her needs as a women. The need to not get fat. but tell her in a less rude way
this is actually better advice than what I just wrote
She has way better chance of righting herself than I do. I'm a dead man walking genetically speaking. I can manage "battle dwarf" mode but that's about it. I just want my wife not fat. For both health and sexual attraction. I am going with the advice I read here and see how it goes. As for me, well, she's fucked.
she share your sense of humour on shit like this?
Totally. She has a great sense of humor and knows how to laugh at herself but I'm her best friend man you know? I don't want to hurt her feelings just because I'm being honest. We are blunt with each other but her body is a real sensitive button to push. I come off harsh but inside I'm a softy for her.
Idk your situation but to say right now. I don't think she's going to order divorce because she probably needs your huge ass wallet to provide for herself. So if that's the case, you can say it in a nice way and if she doesn't listen, you just have to live with it. idk marriages are fucking scary
Jesus christ I can't believe you people honestly think this is good advice.
Dont be a passive aggressive faggot about your goddamm relationships. If you dont trust your partner enough to talk honestly about stuff like this seek counseling or terminate your garbage relstionship.
This honestly.
Yes it is going to go over about as well as tooth extractions and it’s going to cause days and maybe weeks of strife.
But dude how do you think a divorce is going to go over? Being honest and offering solutions you’re willing to support he is though is going to go over better than your acrimonious divorce or sexless marriage.
Apparently you have found a woman with a sense of humor you like enough to marry. In your spot I would do my damndest.
As a last resort counseling may help. It will also go over as well as tooth extractions. But again I promise you that tooth extractions are not as bad as divorces and sexless marriages.
If she’ Fat like a size 16, that’s just life. If she fat like bed ridden with nurses and hoists and you are forced to wipe her ass, bail.
There are many roads to Nirvana. Learn to finger or eat her out. God knows you both seem to love eating.
>Fat guy w/ fat wife
>We both eat each other
>We don't want kids
Learn to adapt, chubbly.
I've been in a similar situation, I'm the wife. I had gained weight after having 3 kids, my husband was honest with me, but he didn't wait til I was no longer attractive to him, he told me before I had gained anymore weight to become unattractive. He was about as sensitive as he could have been about the situation, but it sucked, I was hurt, and mostly angry at myself for putting my health on the back burner. After a little bit of time, I started a lifestyle change, stopped eating like shit and lost 80 pounds over the coarse of a year and a half.
This is something you should have addressed before it became such a serious problem.
kill her and get life Insurance money
sweet, blatantly manipulate her!
>be walking by wedding photo together (or similar, whatever, you'll get the idea)
>stop abruptly, acting like photo catches your eye
>look down at own pudge and say "eeeewwwwwww" super playfully so she takes the bait
>when she says "what?", look at her pudge and say ew exactly the same way as the first time
>immediately look back at photo, then back down at your own pudge, say ew once more but dial up the intensity and jackassery this time
>look up, eye contact with her, sad puppy jokester complain-y face, "we got fat"
>probably she pulls the "aww but i still love you no matter what" seeking to reassure you (and herself)
>make suspicious face for a few beats while considering
>"...nah you just wanna lure me toward the 'beatus so you can steal my mana, i know your tricks woman"
>give her only enough time to laugh, allow zero opportunity for protest or self loathing to sink in
>"ugh yes fine *i'll* be a shallow enough bastard for both of us then" roll eyes then throw in something really gay, e.g. take hand, kiss her, "come on love", drag her off to kitchen
>that's all the shame put on you now, also the blame, you in the bad guy position, and her obvious role in developing a gravity field gone conspicuously unmentioned
>which obviously was deliberately and playfully orchestrated to soften the blow
>which you do NOT want her mind settling upon right this second. so go kitchen.
>flurry of activity, involve her, trash all the junk food and cake and shit
>keep cracking lame "lol holy crap look at this, no wonder we're becoming total fatties" jokes and mock accusing her of blatant plot to destroy your greek-god-like figure and lovingly teasing to keep her smiling and busy
>loads of physical affection too, but heavier on the quick hug to smack her arse type than the lingering comforting type
>go for walk after, esp if she'd sooner die than let herself cry in public
maybe?? trying to channel my husband here, he's great at this shit.
I can not believe the amount of fucking apologists that are like "awwwww take her on a walk and a picnic!" "exercise together!"
You can't hold someone's hand through putting down the fucking fork.
There is no reason in a relationship for anyone to ever get "I can't fuck you" fat unless there's a severe medical issue. A little bit of walking (followed by food for some reason) is not going to fix that kind of fat. This chick needs an absolute fucking wake up call, because people only fix this kind of thing when there's something on the line.
Fuck, I'm mad.
well give the guy a suggestion then on how to do so
Nice b8 8 out of 8
Tell her, straight up, that she needs to lose weight because it is ruining his attraction to her. I don't plan on getting married, and this is why. I'd dump a girl faster than her head could spin if she got fat.
It's one thing to give someone a gentle nudge in the right direction if they're gaining just a little bit of weight. When they're stuffing their face all day with cakes and sleeping? Nah, that's time to cut your losses.
There really isn't any good advice when someone has completely let themselves go, and OP has trapped himself in a relationship where she has almost all of the leverage.
?
OP here. This might actually work.
Ah luckily not ready to call the producers yet. She isn't even pushing 300 but she still needs to diet. Even the harshest comments here are right and I do hold myself accountable for not being up front about this sooner. It's her fault for letting herself go so badly and mine for not making it a problem worth solving. I like time with her and walks are nice but it's true, people can only do so much and the lifestyle needs to change from inside. Maybe this thread can be helpful to other people too.
Get divorced and start a new life.
Stop this suicide bs.
It's a reference to Russian roulette where you put a single bullet in a revolver, spin it, close it, put it to your head and bet if you blow out your brains. It's not a real claim to suicide just a metaphor for telling the wife she's unfuckable.
>tfw tried that with gf
>tfw she nearly broke up with me
Talking to women about this shit I like playing Russian roulette with 5 rounds loaded. Why can't you just step on a scale every day and keep track of your fat?
Fucking hell and then we are not supposed to look at other women when you can't even stop yourself from being a gluttonous pig. Don't be fat is the one thing women have to do but they can't even do something so simple.
Fuck now I'm mad. And no I was not talking to her like this when I brought it up I said all the shit about health and that I'm worried about her. Fuck fat people. Put them in a camp and build a wall around it.
Balding? Shave the rest. Short? Cant control that. Pudgy? Work harder.
She is entitled to a healthy and you are entitled to a healthy wife. You both made vows to each other, but this is the ultimatum. You need to tell her what you think. Tell her that you love her, but your sexual attraction to her doesnt exist anymore. If she gives you that, "oh you only loved me for ny body" bullshit, tell her that if you did, you would have already cheated on her. She doesnt deserve to bitch if she let herself go. I can understand if she is depressed and as a result of that is using food as a boost, but if she is not and is just getting fat then she needs to be told the harsh truth.
Any wife who plays that reverse card on you is not a good wife. A good wife is one who will cry about it and end up fixing it so she can see her potential again.
If she is depressed he can be in charge of food. Make her meals and do the shopping
Easier said than done. She will find the food. She might even buy junkfood if she gets the depressed cravings. Something like controlling her food wouldnt work.
OMAD would.
True. He can't completely control the food. But if he becomes more active in grocery shopping and buys healthier things and maybe cooks healthier meals a few days a week it couldn't hurt. If nothing else seeing him eating a large fresh salad with every dinner should send a message.
You'd also think her seeing herself in a mirror sends a clear message. Fatties can't think straight from all the blubber.
See this right here is the apologist thing I was bitching about a posts up. Why the fuck is it his responsibility to monitor her diet, waste all of his time in the store, waste all of his time cooking, and all of that shit?
"Healthier meals" to most lardasses mean "Oh I had broccoli with my double cheeseburger instead of fries, why am I not losing weight?" That person needs to take agency for themselves and commit to losing weight... and COUNTING CALORIES. It's going to be hard, and she's going to get grumpy because she can't have her cakes anymore, but she has to do it. Not him for her.
neat. couple caveats then: have a plan and keep on her about it. softening the blow is great for broaching touchy subjects successfully but the non-serious approach could give the impression it's not as gravely serious a matter as it really is. decide on what changes you'll be making. lay out clearly what's expected of each of you. set the pace for her to follow. speak up if she's not keeping up. cleaning out the kitchen and throwing away all the sugary empty calories will be rendered a pointless exercise if she turns right around and restocks your shelves with a new batch of the same fattening crap.
a big thing when people quit smoking is the ritual aspect of it. i'll bet this is probably similar, so ready some suggestions for healthier snack items and alternative time accompaniments that aren't snacking. sugarfree gum for the oral fixation maybe. stuff like that. new habits take a few months to form. encourage her to stick with it if she starts despairing or whatever but she's gotta want to do the thing for it to work.
say you see no progress whatsoever and find her squirrelling away candy and fast food receipts. identify why. solution if it's simply due to laziness: tease her mercilessly. solution if it's her actively preferring to remain adrift in hamplanetry orbit: she needs to figure out wtf is going on (or not going on) in her life that she's hiding from or given up on, why she's avoiding facing up to it, and address it.
good luck and godspeed to you both~
Settle down bro. If I recall guy said he had a little pudge himself. And I never even remotely claimed this would solve his problem only said eating healthier and buying healthier foods ain't gonna hurt.
Hide the food, Put a padlock on the fridge, put her on a diet
Thank you I'm going to roll with this approach and take it seriously on myself too. I can't control her every move and I don't want to but she has been really throwing away a great body. I can't help being short but she likes my barrel chest and arms and sees something sexy in me. I have tried very hard to see it in her and it's there, somewhere under the coat of human fat she's wearing.