Why do women storm off?

Something I've noticed recently when being in (and witnessing) couples-fights, the ultimate move is usually to not to play. I allows tempers to cool, and feelings to be processed. On the other hand it can also allow small sparks, unattended, blaze into an inferno (last shitty metaphor, I promise).

However, I've noticed that never or very rarely is it the man that makes this move, Even if a man is being thoroughly beaten in an argument or discussion he rarely does the entire "get up and walk away" thing. This is, in my experience a 100% female thing.

Like I mentioned earlier, it could be good, it could be bad to do so but it's always the woman that takes initiative to do so. Does anyone know why Why are women always the first to employ this strategy, and why do they always do so before the man does?

I know it might seem one-sided but I honestly can't think of a single fight/argument I've seen or been part of where the man has chosen to make a strategic retreat.

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well user i can tell you growing up my dad was the master of storming off on my mom and i when we were at restaurants, a park, etc and had a disagreement. he'd be really loud and everybody would turn and look at us.

so :/

I’ve noticed that when I’m fighting with my gf if she gets stumped her go to response is “I’m done talking about this”

I am willing to accept the fact that I could be wrong, or just not have the most un-biased data. That being said I think you're in the minority.

For information, I'm in the latter category of my OP. I tend to enrage when my discussion partner (male or female) decide to simply leave during an argument. It boils me, knowing I had more to say on the subject and find myself unable to express said opinion because my partner has literally left.

So is that it, you think? She withdraws because she's out of ammo? I like to think some people do it because it's the tactically smart thing to do in the situation and will help in the long-run, but I have no doubt there are quite a few partners that do it simply because they're outgunned or in the wrong and they know it.

>simply because they're outgunned or in the wrong and they know it.
Answered your own question. My experience, this is true for either gender.

But additionally, when it comes to women:
It's the standard dynamic that men pursue women, and heavily suggested by media that when a woman storms off
>she wants you to go after her
It's an attempt to change the situation from a fight into a pursuit, where she's in the driver's seat.

the last time i stormed off from my boyfriend was when my oven broke and he wouldn't let me fix it. i work at a bakery and hook up the ovens and have more experience with that stuff than him. but he kept shooshing me to watch youtube videos and read the instructions i had literally just read him. he raised his voice at me when i told him i didn't need him to watch a video so i said "fine" and walked upstairs.

well, couple fights are a complicated mess on their own, me and my boyfriend have retreated, so to say, when we feel too insulted, ignored, or something alike, and just can't take that feeling anymore.

though it can be very different with different people.
i remember my ex-friend, she would storm off and cry because nobody chased her, horrible piece of work, glad i cut off contact.
but basically she did it as a manipulative thing a, "he'll come running if he loves me" as if he was in a stable mind and willing to chase a bitch like her.
anyways, i digress, i dont have very many male friends to be able to observe this behaviour equally, but i say both can storm off in an argument but the more toxic reasoning seems to come mostly from women
but that's just who i've been around, and thus, is biased

Confirmation bias

I think this isn't an inherent gender or culture thing.
Humans have a fight or flight instinct and the adrenaline rush of social conflict acts on our lizard brain, i.e. our evolutionary roots.

Sometimes when you don't have any positive response to resolve the conversation/argument an option is to remove yourself from the situation and Leave before it becomes more heated or you say something regrettable out of anger.

I don't think it's a boy/girl fight thing either. Sometimes the aggressor picks a fight and the victim tries to escape.

Because you've seen five examples of this in real life doesn't make it statistically hold water, eh?

Women aren't the only ones who retreat or give the silent treatment.

I've been with a guy who will literally block me from leaving when in a fight. Like if I try to get my purse, keys, phone, or leave the room, I can't.
The same person will give me the silent treatment when he's mad at me.

Anyway, all's fair in love and war. What advice do you need?

Women don't know how to argue, you can whine about misogyny all you want but they're mental midgets. Emotional, irrational creatures that are not too bright but you can't say that or you're a misogynist.

Attention

But why? In your example (assuming you actually DID know how to fix the oven), would you not agree that your actions would have spoken louder than his words?

If you'd simply repaired the oven while he sat there engrossed in tutorials and manuals. you would have come out on top, silenced his protests and ended the argument in his defeat. Why instead make him feel guilty and/or frustrated by you instead running off?

I'm questioning the concept of "running away" as an argument-solver. How does one part exiting the argument solve the underlying problem?

Yes, I will admit that my opinion is biased, as in most cases I tend to see the woman leave while the man still has more points or arguments to bring up, or isn't done countering hers. But I will freely admit that my perspective is biased, and am fully open to men also choosing this tactic.

But why? Maybe it's just me and my experiences with myself and people around me, but I don't understand why removing yourself from a argument can possibly help resolving said argument. If you're in the wrong, or you're out of sound, valid counter-points in an argument/discussion, how does removing yourself from said argument work better than admitting defeat?

I think what I'm looking for is insight on why it is walking away is somehow seen as "better" than resolving the argument by admitting defeat or confessing that you're out of firepower.

I wasn't trying to make him feel guilty or frustrated. I was starting to yell and decided to remove myself rather than lose my temper. I came back down after a minute or two. As far as fixing it myself, I didn't because he said it made him "really uncomfortable" and I was trying to be nice and respect that even though I found it dumb af.

Yikes

I still don't understand why you didn't just fix the oven or why you started to yell at all. If you have a provable solution then why not just override him all together and fix the oven?

That would quell the argument instantly, and leave you with a fixed oven without there being any further need to "remove yourself". You showed him that, in this case, you knew better than he did on the topic of fixing ovens. Sure it might hurt his pride, but his pride went out the window the second he had to look up manuals while you already knew the solution.

Perhaps,as some guy above mentioned, they're trying to put you in pursuit.
I suppose media has to some degree made the "wait, wait, don't go! wait!!" scene a reality.
Male characters who have been written to be "in the wrong" have to chase after their female counterparts and make up through emotion.

Running away" or exiting the situation does not resolve the argument. It puts it on pause basically.

So then why do it?

Why do you feel that whatever it is has to be resolved in that moment just because you want it to be, because you're angry/upset, or because you feel you have more points to bring up.

It's a controlling thing to do. If someone is pissed you can't corner them into deciding right then and there. They may be sick of you and the argument and need to break away.

I think you may be missing some consideration and empathy for the other person's theoretical feelings in this hypothetical situation.

There rarely is any reason to actively argue. Stepping away usually gives time for tempers to cool down. I myself do it because I have an anger issue, and would rather disengage than let it escalate.

I walk away because I get myself so hyped up that sometimes I can no longer remember why I'm upset. Walking away helps me to reevaluate the situation and decide whether my argument is genuine or whether I'm being unreasonable.

Dunno man, I know plenty of guys that do this. My housemate's boyfriend's signature move is this.

Men stonewall. They stick in the conversation but shut down/ become catatonic. Both are equally bad.

Because
>it allows everyone to cool off
>it helps descalate the situation
>it helps people regain control of their emotions
>sometimes the other person just isn't worth arguing with

If you think men don't do it, you haven't been around enough arguments involving men. And I bet the arguments you've seen generally involve men repeating the same point over and over at a point where you think women would walk away.

Mostly because women is an emtional creature. They often act up on feelings and storming off is an act of feeling. But men tend do that too and is emtional as well so not entirely a woman thing to do. But why? I think it's mostly due too the pressure of the situation and an easy escape route when things doesn't to go as planned.

>couple argue
>get heated
>women storm off
>man goes after woman
>eventually the women will "win"
>cuz man pamper woman til she get happy

>woman
>women

Jesus I'm stupid isn't I? Sorry for bad grammar.

Yes you're stupid, but not because of your grammar.

So I'm wrong?

SEKIY

This is me. I just stop when it gets to a certain point. There are things I want to say but they would just add fuel to a fire.
Easier to just wait it out

If you want to say those things, why not just do it? If you're in the heat of the moment you can express thoughts you otherwise couldn't, and you'll feel relieved by doing so.

Hell, even after you can literally blame it on just that: heat of the moment.

It might sound cold and manipulative, but when you're fighting you're doing it to vent frustrations. Why hold back when you're in a situation where all your ventilation is completely forgivable?

Anyone who feels they’re about to do something bad is better just storming off. Men do this all the time.

Women might be doing it more out of avoidance, but they’re also more conscientious. Maybe they hate fights because they feel guilty about the aftermath.

Anyway, ur mom.

Because I stand no chance in arguments against my gf. She gets extremely hurtful and I don't want to do the same to her. I'd rather just wait it out. I hate fighting.

Then what I mentioned in my post is probably what she's doing. Not consciously, obviously, but still. Don't take it as a negative either. She might say hurtful things but at least she's comfortable enough around you to let those things out.

Relationships tend to end what's NOT said, and you essentially don't have to worry about that now.

She is honest that is true. But her fault is bottling things up. Then I do something that upsets her and it escalates. I'm talking hour long arguments with screaming at me. I dish out too but I never say the full extent. These fights shale me to my core while for her they seem to be normal because she grew up like that. I want to communicate so that we don't even get to the fighting stage but no idea how.

I'm of the school that believes fighting is good. Fighting is a natural way to settle disagreements and express emotions that society has dictated are unpleasant (and some even argue unhealthy). Let's face it, no one at your local restaurant wants to hear you yell at your girlfriend for not taking it up the ass like a champ.

However honesty, even blunt, brutal, harsh honesty is still honesty. And it's not something everyone is so free to give out. I belive you when you say it's soul-crushing to hear, but everyone has that little inner darkness that's just begging to be let out and ruin everything in your life. Be it taking a shotgun to your bosses face, or punching the guy in the line at the coffee shop for somehow not having decided upon his order when he's had 15 minutes of queue-time.

Her expressing this primal emotion, even if it is anger, can actually be seen as a huge compliment. She's comfortable enough with you to let her see the darkness. The blackest part of who she is, she can reveal to you in all it's gruesome beauty.

Sure, it's like acid in the eyes to look at, but if you can understand what you're seeing I belive your relationship will outlive us all. Those people in retirement homes who've loved each other for 80 years didn't get there by being meek.

It actually is an interesting point of view. I know fights are necessary and can be a good thing. Just the intensity should be a bit lower. Definitely interesting though and I never thought about it that way.

Ha. My wife does this.

I do it when I know emotions are too high for the rational parts of the brain to be functioning. There's literally no point arguing if someone's too angry, the blood flow to logical parts of the brain literally shuts down. I think guys are less aware of this, and want to just keep going on an angry tirade that won't actually help anything. I also made my bf leave my apt. When he started throwing shit because he was so angry, I don't want to have to deal with a guys violence, and women who are short and tiny will definitally want to run when guys start getting violent like that. Guys are more likely to be violent in general, and a lot of violence vs women is committed by guys they knew. It's smart for a woman to want to exit that situation, they're less able to defend themselves vs males in general.

It's better when they storm off. My ex would stand in the fucking doorway and keep going back to topics I already shot down fully with a little rewording like a retard. She did that at least once a month until I got sick of her shit and pointed a loaded weapon at her. Didn't try to corner me anymore after that.

Are you guys arguing with women on their periods? (you should know if you communicate properly). The hormone changes have quite a profound effect, compare it to how you feel when you are ill, tired and hungry or something. In that case they will argue with you but they really want to be left alone and will take a mental opportunity to get out.

If it's not a period and you're having such dramatic fights, what's wrong with you?

Crazy bitches mainly, but I also don't care if something escalates when I know I'm right.

Women cannot be convinced of anything using logic

Jesus Christ, were you born yesterday?

The only way to “win” an argument with a woman is to go 100% emotional bullshit to manipulate what she thinks

>somehow seen as "better" than resolving the argument by admitting defeat or confessing that you're out of firepower.
Lots of people don't care about what's best or correct.
They care about image and control.

>get in a silly fight with a girl over what food we should order for lunch
>she demonstratively yells that she doesn't want to eat anymore and refuses to talk
>I say "ok, whatever" and head out to the store
>"where are you going? what am I going to eat?"

because women are more emotional than men and realize it's better to GTFO rather than say something they will regret later.

Other side of this, is that women tend to push men to the breaking point which ends with them getting a black eye.

Lol my gf's favourite thing is to start an arguement, sling insults, call me useless etc. etc., then when i say hey let's not just sling shit let's talk about the problem and start defending myself she goes "i'm done with this, no i'm not talking about it" and storms off then pretends it never happened a few hours later. Women are fuckin insane dude. Next relationship i have i'm spending A LOT longer getting to know them as a person before dating to look for warning signs of this bullshit.

>warning signs of this bullshit.
PROTIP: This is every woman, it's always going to happen.
PROTIP2: If you don't see any warning signs early on it just means they are lying and covering them up.

I would let her storm off then i will disapear ignore her and find me a new one. problem solved

See There isn't a logical reason for a man to ""retreat" when he both thinks in more concrete, logical terms and is physically stronger. Men will typically have the upper hand in both arguments and in the implicit, instinctual threat of violence, and women conversely are inclined to "run away" when confronted with this, because they are in a no-win situation. Even if a man is outmatched in an argument (and this doesn't happen very often, unless emotional intensity counts as an "argument"), he is still physically stronger in almost every case, so leaving will only serve to damage his pride further.
>inb4dumbmen
>inb4notallwomen
Yes, but we're talking about averages, and it is not common to have logical women paired with emotional men, nor for a woman to date somebody significantly dumber than her.

>Why do women storm off?
who cares?

Fuck my gf did thst once. Said I should leave so I tried but she stood in the doorway and didn't let me. Turns out she was riling me up so I would hit her. Fucking crazy

Women want the last word. They want to be right. And they probably are. We just don't realize it at the time or don't want to admit it.

>They want to be right. And they probably are.
kek

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