My boyfriend is very hot. I'm pretty unremarkable and chubby. Everyone keeps making comments about it...

A lot of guys don‘t dare to go for their true desire because they fear the social judgement. But ofc what i said isn‘t true for anyone. It might be true for op‘s bf thought.

Stop feeling horrible. He clearly likes you otherwise he would have found someone else. Looks aren't everything. Be happy you got someone that cares about you.

Im a guy with a chubby gf, im highly competetive and outperform most people my age.
My gf has everything i do not;
Shes genuine and direct
She lifts me when i break
Bubbly personality
And i love her tits and negro-tier-size-ass and blond with blue eyes

How do i motivate her to not always criticise her own appearance?
Its selfdestructive and shes most beautiful when she smiles

I wouldn't mind "dating down" and I did in the past. I'm not huge on looks - I'm not exactly a looker myself, never felt like I could judge people based on that.
If I find someone attractive in some way, then I'm whatever. Even with my boyfriend, his looks were never his selling point.

>enough to make me feel insecure
Girl, there is a quick fix for this. I have sex with other guys and works wonders.

Since you are just 30 lb from your goal it won't be long till guys will start hitting on you I promise. In fact your bf probably likes you heavy knowing it will keep most guys away.

Congratulations on the weight loss and enjoy your upcoming hotness

Does she know and believe you that you think she‘s beautiful and sexy?
I‘m in the same situation but i‘m the girl. Problem is that my gusband is a very sweet guy and i can totally see him tell me all those things just to not hurt my feelings.
There‘s also the issue that he can‘t change what i think would be the ideal body. But it makes it a lot easier on me to feel good about my appearance to know that he likes what he sees.
Maybe you could kind of try to „convince“ her that chubby is your thing? Like, actually put the emphasize on her being chubby and get her to flaunt her body instead of trying to contain and hide it?

So you have a few extra pounds on you, big deal I would date girls if they were pretty decent all around and that was the only downside. No biggie OP, don't feel bad about it remember you can work on improvement if you REALLY want to.

>In fact your bf probably likes you heavy knowing it will keep most guys away.
That's the mentality of girls. Guys don't think that way.

Yes they do

Correct her every time she does. She might be testing you to contradict her when she says “i’m ugly.” It’ll boost her self-esteem if you can make it authentic (throw some pda in the mix).

I'm genuinely not attracted to anyone else, I can't even masturbate to porn.
I'm extremely monogamous.

One thing that helps me a little is when I can tell how much he is into me sexually. Especially if he grabs things that I dislike and gets hard, that makes me always happy. Or when he looks at me like I'm the only woman in the world.

I'm very happy that he loves me. I can't stop feeling like he deserves better. I'm trying to become cuter.

I am. I diet and work out, I take care of myself.

I still have loose skin, extra pounds and my face is what it is, while he looks like a ripped Johnny Depp in 1995.

>not attracted to anyone else
so, we're talking about feeling better about yourself. you don't even have to know the guy

Just wait, went you get tight and have some new outfits that fit and complement your figure and guys start flirting and wanting you it will be hard to turn them down.

I wouldn't do it for obvious moral reasons and I have zero interests in fucking anyone else in general.
I really don't get turned on by anything other than him and the sex we have.

Not everyone‘s a slut like you, susan.

I would date Adriana Lima if she was fat.

Yeah, my face is like a 5/10. Nothing disfigured, but nothing amazing. Average. Definitely not Adriana Lima.

Dude, just flip off girls trying to hit on your boyfriend. Show that he belongs to you.

Have you any idea at all how much many people would give to be loved as you are? Stop questioning it - revel in it.

And screw everyone else's opinions. They're just jealous

I think she is worried that some thot will try to cuck her.

>a drunk guy followed me to call me a whale
That means you are way past chubby.
Ive seen this happen before in person and the girl was fat enough to seem like she could collect welfare because of it.
Future electric cart at the grocery store type of big.

I mean, it'd be easier if I didn't think they were fundamentally right and they weren't much hotter than me, and if I didn't feel inadequate and undeserving of his love.

I'm around 160 lbs and I'm 5'5. It used to happen sometimes when I was really fat, now it basically never happens unless I'm with him.
And I was never obese to the point it was dramatic and I couldn't walk, or anything.

I do feel like the luckiest woman alive. He loves me in the most sincere, refreshing way I've ever experienced and it feels so good.
It's just really depressing because I feel like I should be better for him and it cripples me.
It's getting to the point I want to skip meals or fast for days, or I think of the episodes when people make fun of him for dating me and I want to vomit.

I'm not, he won't cheat on me. I'm not even too scared he'll leave me.
We spend basically all our time together and have a great time together.

I feel that I have missed something.

If he really is that great, and you really are that below average, he will likely find someone more compatible not only personality-wise, but also attractiveness-wise. So enjoy this relationship now and don't care too much about mean comments. Just retain realistic outlook on your situation.

We're moving in together soon. We've been together for close to 2 years, and he said many times he wants to marry me.

It doesn't mean that he will stay always faithful or won't break up with you. Couples divorce after 30 years of marriage.

God damn, why are girls so mean?

>Thank God my gf is fat and unattractive so other guys don't hit on her
No, you're retarded.

>I'm not, he won't cheat on me
Ladies, we have to talk.

im a Jow Forums guy dating a /chubby/ girl, and shes great. also the thing is, she doesnt really mind if i bang other girls

He sounds like a really good guy.

If you feel like he deserves better - he's the first person that can affect his life, you're likely the second. If you feel like he deserves better, see that as an excuse to improve yourself. Relationships with unequal footing are usually a detriment to either or both parties, anyway.

Talk to him about it if you haven't. Being completely honest and adult with someone on an issue is usually a way to quickly build up more rapport and feel much more secure with someone - ergo good for relationships, and at the very least he can try to comfort you. If you can talk through it with him and try to identify specifically what makes you feel this way, you can take action to work on it and he can support you.

You've identified there's an issue, while trying to avoid sounding like a cliche, this is a good opportunity to organically develop a stronger mentality and grow as a person.

On a last note, I'd be firmer with people who go beyond justification to make fun of you. It would make sense to hold your own ground when you're actively trying to solve the problem, and it'll feel better and be more likely to keep people off your back. Don't let them tread on you, it's your issue and not theirs.

If you want to be better, that's a general sense of how you could go about it. And ignore the cunts saying to just accept you have it easy or go out fucking so you can exist on other people's validation through sex. If you're trying to be a bigger person you're doing better than a large portion of men and women alike. If you can do that and build a solid rapport and trust with him, then you're set.

I mean, sure. I don't have any guarantee that he's never going to cheat or leave for another girl.

But he doesn't talk to any girl but me, he basically never leaves the house without me, he never cheated before, he despises cheaters and was cheated on before. We spend all our time together and he's extremely committed to me. He's desperately in love with me and has eyes just for me.
He's never done anything that made me feel like he could possibly betray me at any point.
We also have a very strong relationship on a personal level. I've never experienced anything close to what I have with him.

It honestly seems unlikely from what we have now.

My friend is a fit dude who was over the moon with his fatter gf. He was going to propose but they broke up before he had the chance, he was heartbroken. I hope this helps.

If you really felt that way, you wouldn't be bothered so much by the negative comments you get. But these comments torture you because you're scared that at some point he will notice what other people are seeing.

you have to acknowledge that women have nothing to give men other than their bodies that's why people are saying that. so either feel good that you have a good personality or improve your body

>He sounds like a really good guy.
He is. The best one I've ever met, by far.

>Talk to him about it if you haven't.
I don't know how to address it with him because he's not the problem.
He always reassures me that he finds me attractive and he's happy with me, he compliments my body every day and we have a great sex life so it's not like he's doing something wrong. He never made me feel bad about the way I look.
He supported my weight lose, but always told me it was something I had to do for me because he was happy with me regardless. He loves my body as it is. He loves me as I am.
It is everyone else. And I don't know what he can do about it. I don't know if it's right to unload it on him, or if it is going to make him feel bad about it when he can't do much.

>On a last note, I'd be firmer with people who go beyond justification to make fun of you.
I don't know what to say. On some level I agree with them, so it makes it hard for me to find a good way to get back at them.
My parents are proud of my weight loss, but for example they're still going "oh you're losing it so your boyfriend doesn't dump you".

I really want to be good for him, he's worth everything and he deserves the best version of me. I'll do the best I can to make him happy.

I honestly don't. It makes me feel sad because I feel like he deserves better than me.
I keep thinking I should leave him so he can get a girl who is better than me, as retarded as it is, because I know he'll never dump me and he loves me, but I also know I'll always be inadequate.

I'm extremely secure in his love for me, but I keep feeling like he deserves to have a girl who is as good looking as he is and he'll always be treated like a joke because of me. It makes me feel awful.

What hobbies do you two share? How did you meet him?

That's really nice to read. I'm sorry for your friend, I hope he feels better now.
Thank you, user.

That sounds pretty silly. But anyway, I'm trying to do both.

We met on a forum.

The biggest one that brought us together was an interest for religion, politics and economics. We're also big readers (both averaging around 10 books a month), and enjoy theatre and classical music. We really like math, too, and we're both big sports fan. We're huge art history nerds.
During our relationship I started working out more and now we work out together every day, I taught him how to cook.
Other than that we also are into more basic stuff: same sense of humour, similar taste for media (music, tv shows, movies).

It's mostly that we're a great match personality wise tho, on a really human level.

Keep your head down, keep working hard and maybe someday you'll be able to see yourself as his equal.

That's awesome! Best of luck to you both

Well, if you are working on yourself then you have nothing to be ashamed about. Keep going. Stay on track. Fuck the haters.

I always viewed women as angels until I started working at the bar. Seeing how they fuck each other over by literally going up to her boyfriend and making out with him, placing his hands on her bum and shit. And he is obviously drunk and horny, so what the fuck is he gonna do.

This sounds like a lovely relationship and you're obviously bringing much more to the table than just looks - and you're working on getting fitter too. Wish you all the best

We're not really party people so it doesn't happen too often, but we went out a couple of times last week (got a couple of drinks after the theatre) and it was honestly a little painful.
Girls going up to him and flirting with him even if I was sitting right there, or when I left to go to the bathroom and came back to a girl giving him her number. It was awkward.
He's very introverted so we only really go out together. Which is nice.

Thank you.

Thank you. Beside the fact that we have fun together, tho, he's really just the best match for me on a personal level.
When we got together we started to function better as individuals, we blossomed, we are just so much happier about ourselves.

I'm a little ashamed to say that I didn't want to meet his family yet because they're all gorgeous women and I don't want them to think less of me. My ex's mom made fun of me for being fat and I'm scared it will happen again. But his mom is in love with me and is so kind to me, always sends me gifts through him and bakes me things.

The holocaust was a very fun event. I hope to attend a similar event soon! All those Steve Jobs cosplayers were so good!

>He loves me for who I am, he's absolutely crazy about me and never complains about my physical appearance

>How do I stop feeling horrible about it and feeling like he deserves better?

>He has always been attracted to me

Stop feeling negative about yourself. You're improving your own self-image and have lost 80 lbs already, congratulations!

Your boyfriend loves you, he doesn't give a shit if you're fat, so obviously you are desirable. Stop hating on yourself and realize that you are desirable. By thinking that your boyfriend deserves better, you are selling his opinion short. Do you think negatively about his opinions cause he thinks you're worth it.

>2 girls flirted with him in front of me and when he rejected them because he was taken they laughed at my face.
>A drunk guy followed us while we were walking and kept screaming at me that I was a whale and didn't deserve to date a guy like him
What 3rd world country do you live in? Here in the US nobody gives a fuck about this shit

man fuck other people
you two seem happy

>Yeah, I'm losing it. I'm down 80 lbs, have 30 more to lose.
then youre good. stay on track and your issue will be solved. respect for taking care of business, and good luck

what a hollow fucking life

The two episodes I talked about didn't happen in the US but while we were on vacation in Europe, but it happened in the US too.
Heard comments like "does she pay to go out with a guy like that?", "do you think he got her pregnant?", "maybe she's really rich", "look at that fat whale" while I was walking down the street.
Girls throwing themselves at him all the time happens everywhere.

I don't think the drunk guy "cared", he was probably just really drunk.

What countries? They spoke it out loud in English?

Yes, we were in the UK.
And I speak 3 other European languages anyway.

These comments
>Heard comments like "does she pay to go out with a guy like that?", "do you think he got her pregnant?", "maybe she's really rich", "look at that fat whale" while I was walking down the street.
are all stuff that happened in the US.

I'll still be pretty unimpressive, just less fat.
Thank you.

That's a good way to put it. Thank you.

Pretty sure that never happened, in america its socially acceptable for hot men to be seen romantically with attrocious women. also stop going to seedy bars with drunkards and thots, that seems to be your main problem

If you’re so insecure than just do the fasting and lose the weight. My bf is very fit, and while I was very thin with tits, I had a very soft looking stomach and no ass. I was super self conscious, and felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I’ve started lifting regularly and after 2-3 months of lifting and fasting I now have that center ab line indent and a round, perky butt.

If you’re insecure about something, try to harness that as the drive to change it.

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What kind of disgusting people actually go out of their way to make comments like that? Need to have an awful amount of bitterness in you to not just think in your head that "hmm, I wonder how those two ended up together" but to actually say shit like that. I understand your concern, but like others have already said you're working on it which is amazing, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I respect that a ton. But even if you weren't, no one has any place to be criticising someone else's life, especially when you're both happy and in love. Just try and remember that they see things from their own very limited perspective and can never know and understand what you two have. And they don't need to. It's not your problem that they can't handle others having something they don't understand. It's their damn problem if it ruins their day. It could honestly even be envy, deep down. Because honestly, looks change, we all get old and ugly. Most of us also fat. Finding someone who you truly love, and have a relationship on a deeper level than just being able to show off your conventionally attractive partner to the world and get praise for it... that's truly lucky.

All the best for you two, I'm sure he feels lucky too.

i think you are underestimating the effect that being less fat can have on ones overall attractiveness
stick with it past the not fat part and get fit. cultivate a fine ass, midsection, and thighs. your confidence will multiply exponentially

I've lost almost half of my body weight. I don't look tight.
My stomach is covered in loose skin and stretchmarks, and it will always be. I'll always be flabby on my arms and on my legs. I'll never be hot.
I'm working out every day, I love doing it. I'm still never going to look like an instagram model or anything.
And my face is still going to look just okay.

I don't want to fast, it's unhealthy to do it as a way to lose weight. I want to lose it in a healthy way like I've done it right now, I want it to be a sustainable change in my lifestyle and not something I do just to look pretty that I can't keep up with once I've lost the extra weight.

>thots who know their numbers are punched for dating and their options s are quickly dwindling to "male virgins" and "60 year old burnouts"
>a drunk guy wandering after couples, perhaps the single loneliest and msot miserable stereotype I've seen wielded on Jow Forums

Yeah, real threats here. Some chicks your man probably has principle dislike for and some guy who squandered the rest of his life blaming it for not pandering to him.

Gawrsh.
My family did this with my girlfriend and I told them she fulfilled me and made me happy, and if that wasn't good enough they could deadass fuck straight off.

But I'm not very nice.

>She listened to what Europoors thought
Fuck them, they're a bunch of useless morons man, they're laughing as their country gets blown up, run down, acid attacked and raped to death.

You gotta understand nobody admits to the bad shit in their life and this is the outcome.

I don't think they're threats. It makes me sad that he has people making fun of him for dating me.

His parents seem nice but I haven't met them yet because I'm pretty scared they'll treat me like my ex's parents did.

there are ways to tighten up, user. do not get discouraged. stretch marks are not actually a big deal
fuck instagram skeezers

>My stomach is covered in loose skin and stretchmarks, and it will always be. I'll always be flabby on my arms and on my legs.
Most of these are things you can improve on. Pregnant women have lotions to get rid of their stretchmarks that works equally well for ex-fat girls. Skin tightening creams also exist.

>I don't want to fast, it's unhealthy to do it as a way to lose weight. I want to lose it in a healthy way like I've done it right now,

Intermittent fasting is safe and effective. I respect wanting to keep a sustainable weight- although I can tell you from experience that its WAY easier to maintain a lower weight than it is to lose weight.

In any case, the message is the same. You're insecure because your boyfriend looks better than you, and there are several ways to fix this.

1. Work on your appearance so that you can match up better with your boyfriend. If he's fit and handsome, chances are he puts in a decent amount of effort in his appearance, physique, and grooming. I'm sure he would appreciate you doing the same. (i.e, stretchmark lotions, working out as you are, moisturizing and maybe a little bit of makeup) If you are worried about what his well groomed, attractive family will think of you, this is a good idea.

2. Learn to accept yourself the way you are and not give a fuck about what any random person on the street says. If your boyfriend is handsome, girls will hit on him. This is the nature of life. Just learn to not care, because obviously he loves you, and has been with you for at least 2 years, so just love him and accept that.

Your already doing it, keep up the hard work! Show is a photo of your gainz

I swear girls are shittier to other girls than men will ever be.

Literally just keep losing weight.

You should really learn to sound more convincing before you pretend to be a girl.

>i ahve the man of my dreams and my life is still shit wahhhwahhhh

>has sex outside relationship and claims it fixes her insecurities
Youre a fake bitch. Lmaoing at your life.

Is this some kind of joke?

This is absolutely pathetic

I've never said my life is shit.

I'll still be a lot less good looking than him.

There's a difference between the loose skin of a 9 months pregnancy and the loose skin of 10 years of unhealthy lifestyle. It won't go back, it's okay. I'm fine with it.
My skin won't get tight and my stretchmarks won't go away. I could get surgery, but I don't care enough.

Intermittent fasting is safe, I do that without a problem. Actually fasting is not safe.

He doesn't put huge amounts of work in his appearance, he's honestly handsome the way he is. He works out, but that's it. He goes to the hairdresser once a month, I pick his clothes because he doesn't care much about fashion, shaves once a week. That's it.
I take care of my skin, and use a little make up when we go out but he's not a huge fan.

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>Chubby chaser anons supporting OP, cringe.
Take care of your damn appearance you lazy fuck.

>We're extremely compatible personality wise.

well there you have it.
don't know how to say this without sounding like a douche, but i can get decently hot girls and i've had my fair share of them. however i've met no girl in my whole life that i've connected with. were i to meet someone who really understood me and vice versa i probably wouldn't care that much about appearance either.

I'm sure he won't leave you but if you can, go on a diet or something so you increase both your self steem and overall happiness.

>My skin won't get tight and my stretchmarks won't go away. I could get surgery, but I don't care enough.
You continue to make excuses to not better yourself. If you feel insecure about things but are unwilling to change them, and then subsequently feel inferior to the pretty girls hitting on your boyfriend (and probably guilt tripping him in the process) you are lazy and obstinate.

Not to mention dismissing the effort your boyfriend puts into his appearance.

Anyways, the kind of person who is insecure and mopes about things that are well within their ability to change is usually seen as pathetic. Hope that he never meets someone more attractive with a better personality than you.

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this

don't make an advice thread if you don't want advice

>>inb4 landwhale lose weight
>Yeah, I'm losing it. I'm down 80 lbs, have 30 more to lose.
Then why are you asking us for advice? Keep losing weight. Lose it faster.

Surgery is extremely expensive, painful and dangerous, and we want to have children which would make it completely pointless because pregnancy'd stretch my skin out again.
Does it make me lazy to not want to spend thousands of dollars to go through a painful and dangerous process to get 2-5 years of tight skin?

His effort is working out. That's it. He doesn't do anything grooming wise. He brushes his hair, brushes his teeth and showers. He goes to the barber once a month or so, and shaves.
I don't see how I'm diminishing it by stating exactly what he does.

>How do I stop feeling horrible about it and feeling like he deserves better?
Trust his judgement.

Next time someone says anything tell them to shut their fucking mouths and keel their opinions to themselves. Or rather, that's what your boyfriend should have done the first time it happened.

Being just overweight effects more for pregnancy than stomach surgery. It can hurt your baby a lot, or even make it difficult to conceive to begin with.
>even IVF can't help you conceive
>high blood pressure
>pre-eclampsia
>deadly blood clots
>pre-term birth
>MUCH higher chance of miscarriage
>problems with milk let-down
>gestational diabetes
>birth defects
>high risk of UTI
>slow/delayed labor because your baby gets too fat and you don't have the pelvic floor or room to spur the labor process
>interference with epidural
>heart disease when your baby is a teen (it's called epigenetics)
>risk of stillbirth triples
>more chance you'll get a c-section, and you're more likely to have complications during/after surgery.
>bizarre extreme link between childhood asthma and an overweight mother
>not only is lactation more difficult and less productive, it also has less nutrients and the colostrum milk of the first 48 hours has less nutrients and t-cells (immunity)

If you want to be lazy and risk you and your baby's life that's on you.

Shea butter really helps with stretch marks and preventing them.

Good. Keep going. I'm in that boat myself. So's my wife. There's more to life than physical appearance.

She's right though, stretchmarks that are fresh can fade with creams, but they don't have any effect on stretchmarks that have been around a while. Those ones fade (slightly) with time or having a tan, but they never go away.

To OP:
You should remember though, that people don't see the tiny imperfections you do. You're in your own skin, you see every little flaw you hate about yourself. That birthmark you dislike, acne scars, stretchmarks, all sorts of things. But people don't see those in their partners, even when they're there. Hell, even people who are criticizing you and belittling you don't see it- they go for easy, obvious targets like weight or such. No one will ever see themselves the way other people see them.

As for your family, you need to stand up to them. That's imperative. Their behaviour is horrible and really unfair to you, your relationship with them, and your relationship with your boyfriend. It erodes your stability and trust in both sets of relationships, as well as your ability to like yourself.

Tell them you don't appreciate comments like that, they're hurtful unwarranted, and your relationship is very strong. For everyone else who says that shit: I honestly don't have enough information on how you keep running into people like that to know how to handle it. Consider if something about your life is inviting these people in (shitty areas maybe?), but more importantly consider getting therapy. A therapist will help you identify if there's any common denominators you can eliminate, and can help undo the damage these people are doing. They can help you find confidence in yourself (which will not come exclusively through weight loss) and maintain confidence and trust in your boyfriend and relationship when other people try to instill doubt.

1/2

As for talking to your boyfriend about it, you've been together for two years and have talked about marriage. You guys are very serious. Of course it isn't his fault it's happening, but you should feel confident enough in your relationship that you can go to him to confide in him about it. He is meant to be a source of comfort for you, not one to endlessly drone to about how much you hate yourself, of course that would be off-putting, but absolutely tell him how bad you feel about those comments. Even if nothing else, a hug and sharing that pain can go a long way. I'm sure he doesn't like seeing you hurt any more than you like hearing those comments.
2/2

Perhaps he is with you because of your personality? and or what skills you bring to your roomateness?

Is he even asking or encouraging your weightloss? or even resisting it?

>Does it make me lazy to not want to spend thousands of dollars to go through a painful and dangerous process to get 2-5 years of tight skin?
Yes?

You clearly have a problem with your self-esteem (closely linked to your weight), but you're not taking the necessary steps to fix your problem. And rather than face these issues head-on, you've decided to preemptively make excuses against possible solutions.

Surgery isn't voodoo that requires a firstborn son or whatever. You go under, make a payment plan with the plastic surgeon and take pain meds as prescribed.

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>but you're not taking the necessary steps to fix your problem
She's already losing weight you idiot. Besides, how does not wanting to get surgery for something entirely cosmetic she doesn't want make her lazy?