Well Jow Forums this is going to be a long one. I have spent 5 years of my life helplessly liking this woman. Its funny because I have never even held her hand or kissed her. I really do like her but I am starting to realize that I may be my own worst enemy. My goal is to basically "spill my guts" to this woman via a concise text message basically asking if there is even a remote chance that she likes me. I have been on something like 15 dates with her over the course of the 5 years. I use the word date and she uses the phrase "go out." We always split the bill too. I am pretty retarded in general so I don't make moves effectively. What I need the help of Jow Forums for is to help me develop the text message I want to send. I want to keep it concise to maintain my dignity but I want it direct enough so that she knows I am not just rambling. Not looking to give her an ultimatum or some shit. I just want to ease my own mind so I can move on. I just feel fucking trapped. There is obviously something wrong with me but I just need the closure I guess.
Continued... I am going to type what I have thought about in terms of message structure. Again, my primary goal is to keep it concise but maintain my dignity without me seeming like a neurotic mess(which I probably am.)
>Hey [so and so], I wanted to tell you that I still really like you after all this time but wanted to know if you even remotely feel similar? The last thing I would ever want to do is pester you without reason.
That is what I have so far. I Again, I was trying to keep it short because I start to ramble in text messages. I considered calling her but honestly, in the 5 years I have known the woman, we only talked once on the phone. it feels weird for me to call her. I realize this is more than likely not going to turn out positively as in her saying "oh user! I have always loved you!!!" I know that is highly unlikely but again, my mission is to free my mind. I go to sleep thinking of her and I wake up thinking of her. I am torturing myself and I want it to end. Help me end this nightmare. I feel like such a mess. I actually tried deleting her number a year ago but I know the damn thing by heart. Help.
Literally just wrap it up as that. I was in a really similar situation and I was actually madly in love with the guy, so him telling me he loved me was awesome, and now we live together. So it could happen! Anyway yeah keep it short. Be like "I'm acknowledging this is weird, but I just want to make it clear to you I really have feelings. I'm just not good at acting on them in person. It's totally fine if you don't feel the same way but I just need to know once and for all to clear the air." Keep it super short so she doesn't post in in girls FB groups and laugh at you. Good luck.
Joshua Sanchez
Honestly, I don't think I would care if she laughs at me. I just want my mind back I guess. Thank you for responding btw. I think a female opinion really helps orient my mind about this. I am not trying to force her to say yes or anything. I just want to know her thoughts about my feelings towards her I guess. I am trying to keep at as least weird as possible because it is not my intention to creep her out or anything.
My actual biggest fear is making her do stuff she didn't want to do. Like I have been out many times with her and each time I asked her. It would make me so sad if she didn't really want to go with me all those times. HORRIBLY sad. I would never make anyone do anything for me that they didn't want to.
Jace Rogers
Which sounds more ridiculous, a girl hanging out with some dude for 5 years and being too scared to say, "I didn't actually want to hang out with you all this time," or a guy going on dates with her for 5 years and being too scared to admit his feelings for her?
Go for it user.
Jack Jenkins
I see.. well, I am probably going to send her that message today then. I hope my figurative death is glorious. Witness me.
I did want to ask though, have any other women had dudes spill their guts to them? Do you think it's pathetic?
Nathaniel Sanchez
I knew a guy who "confessed" to my friend and she responded "no way, you have bigger tits than I do"
Tyler Williams
Damn. Brutal. At least that dude is free now though. Witnessed.
Elijah Lee
A guy I knew wrote me a five or six page letter. It isn't pathetic, but girls decide who they will date. If you guys have been out that many times together and she hasn't made any kind of hint that she wants you to physically touch her, abandon all attempts and do not "spill your guts." To maintain your dignity, end the friendship. Seriously.
James Rogers
I only read the first few sentences of your post but I might as well be reading something posted here a million times before.
So ill post the same advice me and many others give in threads like this. She's not interested in you. Never "spill your guts" to a girl. Cut contact.
William Cooper
I tried cutting contact. I know her number by heart. I made it one whole year then during a terrible bout of depression. I texted her and she texted me back. I am going to spill my guts. I need to at this point. For my sake. Forgive me for not taking your advice but I need her definitive.
Ethan Gomez
Ask her. Then either go on a real date or cut off all contact and forget about her by any means necessary. If you have the strength to do that.
Landon Turner
I pulled the trigger. Sent the message. Now I am just waiting for her to butcher me. After this, I will be free.
Ryan Cruz
Please update
Eli Sanders
Well don't say we didn't warn you. Your life is not like your chinese cartoons where a heartfelt outburst of emotion will be seen as endearing and romantic. It will be surprising, overwhelming, and creepy.
Adam Wilson
Have not gotten response from her. She often takes forever to respond or she ignored it. I told myself that if she doesn't respond, then that is basically a no. Again, this is to free me of entertaining the thought of maybe I can be with her. It's a effort to free myself. Not get her to like me.
Believe me. It's not. I still have not got a response from her. I will give it 24 hours from when I sent it to basically tell myself it's a wrap. I will take her not answering the question as my answer. If this thread isn't around tomorrow, I will make a new one. Those that witnessed me today, I will remember you. Thank you for the help those that provided insight.
Robert Smith
Maximum autism. For anyone reading this thread that likes a girl, the way to get her is to actually talk to her and try to ask her on a date. These confessions out the blue are extremely off-putting to girls and unless they already have a crush on you (they most likely will not) it doesn't work and automatically blacklists you from having a good conversation with them again.
Charles Collins
You are missing my point. I have been on many dates with this woman. I am not trying to get her to like me. I am trying to obtain insight as to whether or not she likes me or not. If not, I am fine with that and I can stop asking her out. I can stop what I assume to be is bothering her. I can move on. This isn't a tactic to try and get her to like me. This is a effort to release my mind of her so I can move on. It's not some last ditch at a chance for love. I know my life isn't some fucking anime.
Not getting a response would be a response too. Live free.
Jack Johnson
Op here. By 12:15pm today. I am calling it a wrap. It would have been 24 hours by that point. Honestly the feeling I am feeling right now is strange. It feels like freedom but I am realizing I can't take advantage of it. This woman is actually the only woman I have ever dated. I guess a part of me is just like "what now?"
Nicholas Johnson
It's over. It s now been 24 since I sent the message. No response from her. I feel so strange right now. I am guessing I delete her number now? Thank you everyone that tried to help.
Noah Gutierrez
Cut contact, delete her and block her from all social media.
