Im about to be replaced by a sex toy

I've been with my gf a few months. its all good, we get on really well. I think she's more 'experienced' than me but I'm not overly bothered. we have a lot of sex, and I do my best. she suggested the other night we use some toys. and pulled out a huge ( I mean huge dildo). I wanted to be turned on but the second I saw it in her her response was really different. I played along cos I want her to be happy but I feel like I cant complete.

also after I asked if she'd used the toy with other guys and she said yeah but not every one. this makes me feel weird. like I get it shes been with other people but this is like icky.

also she hasn't used it with others - so like only some people she needed it with? the shitty lovers?

tldr: girl like huge dildo more than me, and I'm gutted. am I weird?

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>I asked if she'd used the toy with other guys and she said yeah

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Nope the fuck outta there.

>Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Nope the fuck outta there.

just cos she used it with others? is that the worst thing about this?

I feel like shit and I cant put my finger on whether its insecurity around size, experience etc or if its because she's reusing a toy. I mean, I'm sure she's been in her bed with another man so why am I weirded out about the toy?!

I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Toys are nice, but you can’t make out with a dildo. I have a beautiful, expensive and very effective vibrator, but I’d take fucking over playing with toys any day.

It’s like... more about sex as an entire experience as opposed to just something going into a pussy. Kissing, the weight of another person against you, chemical reactions in the brain, etc.

Just think of the dildo as a fun tool, like something to enhance the sexual experience, not replace it. Heck, maybe you can bring a pocket pussy and a little lube with you next time, and y’all can get eachother off like that. Good luck, man.

>this is like icky.
You don't sound mature enough to be sexually active.

>tldr: girl like huge dildo more than me, and I'm gutted. am I weird?
Talk to her and tell her that you're not into the massive rubber dongs and that you can't compete, find a compromise (smaller rubber dongs) or break up if it is an issue.
She is into what she is into, you can't change that, try find something else that tickles her fancy.

thanks - I appreciate this. but she totally changed. I think if it was a vibrator id understand that but because it was just a dildo going in/out it feels different. if sex is an entire experience how come just a rubber cock made her react so much more?

>>this is like icky.
You don't sound mature enough to be sexually active

why not. i understand im not the first (she's not mine) but i think its a bit icky she'd bring out a sex toy she used with someone else with me - w/out discussing. is that really that unusual?


.>Talk to her and tell her that you're not into the massive rubber dongs and that you can't compete, find a compromise (smaller rubber dongs) or break up if it is an issue.She is into what she is into, you can't change that, try find something else that tickles her fancy.

thats fair enough. guess im just abit sad she's evidently not into me.

I'd tell a girl to drop a guy who was obviously porn worn.

>I'd tell a girl to drop a guy who was obviously porn worn.

this must be me being immature again but i dont understand what you mean.

Almost sounds like she's trying to make you feel insecure... not sure if that's true or not.

Start fisting her, make it your relationship goal to stretch her cunt as wide as possible. Maybe that can be you guys thing and the weird thing you both get off to as a couple. If you need to get off she'll just have to use her mouth or bunghole.

I may sound like I'm joking but I mean, seems like one plausible path you could take. Many girls I've met has big ass dildos. It's gross and off-putting I agree, but I think it's more common than you'd think. Maybe get a trans gf.

ummm... i'll assume your being serious/helpful.

i think interms of relationship goals...stretching isnt one i think im that keen on. irronically she isn't noticeable 'loose' compared to other girls ive been with, im amazed she got it in there.

but no, thats not for me, if thats what she'd like I hope (and im sure she will) find someone who can help her with that.

trans? - not for me.

>she isnt loose
Never heard about kegels? Unironically girls who fucks a lot and insert huge toys inside them make their vaginas tighter because of all the kegels excercise.

Girls can excercise her "vagina" muscles so much you wont even fit a single finger there if they wont allow it. Also vaginismus: involuntary compression of said muscles.

And now think about what you have written: cucked by piece of silicon. Really? Get your own silison pussy and you are even with her.

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I wouldn't worry to much about it, as a young man you should be the one having it up your ass while watching her fuck other dudes.

you aren't competing with the toys but your sex sessions are being compared alongside the other guys she's used the toys with. girls and guys are creatures of sexual habit and tend towards the same techniques with every partner. OP your gf fucks and sucks every guy the same and she is introducing to you something she has perfected and enjoys. In reality you aren't any different than the dildo except the dildo is more permanent.

Dildoes can't kiss or cuddle. Stop being such a fag. If all you think you bring to the table is cock maybe self analyze how terrible you are at lovemaking

my ex wife introduced a big dildo and within 6 months she asked for a MMF. I said no but she did it anyway but without me. Watch out OP

i have heard of kegels but thanks for the explanation. i havent been cucked by anything, i am concerned about her pleasure with me, and her comfort using the same toy

yeah, thats not going to happen, but enjoy your fantasy.

yeah i can understand this. and indeed the dildo will outlast me as i've come to a decision on this

agreed, but if everything i bring is so great, how come just a rubber cock had such a great effect on her

im not sure this would have worked out like that but thanks for the warning

for those interested, I'll break up with her when we meet tommorow. the big dildo thing i could deal with, but im not happy that she used a dildo with me she'd used with others, especially without warning me. it'd like not changing the sheets between lovers, it's just not something i appreciate.

thanks for the advice and interesting view points!

this isnt normal behaviour and no there is nothing wrong with you

yeah, i mean its not that hard to get a new dildo

my ex and I had a ton of toys. I threw them out when we broke up

My current gf and I have tons of toys, we bought them together,.

thank you

thank you. i'd have been ok with this. like i said earlier i get "the having a past" - i'd dont like to think about it like most but i get it. i just didnt want to literally have to touch it (the dildo)...

I understand not maybe not wanting to fool around with toys you used on an ex, but from the sounds of it these toys have just been going in her. I don't see the big deal about not throwing those out between relationships, why waste all that money?

I agree. These are her toys, used on/in her and unless they've been up some guy's ass what does it matter.

This assumes she cleans her toys regularly. Which is essential to avoid getting fungal infections, even if it's only used on herself.

I think "used it with other guys" as the core of OP feeling butt hurt isn't true. He's upset she gets off more powerfully with this big dildo than with him. But he shouldn't be.

Sex should be fun and pleasurable. Each of you should have the goal of making and helping the other get off as best he/she can. The body's sexual responses can be overwhelming, watch someone who's in touch with their own body experience orgasm and you'll see someone who gives themselves over to the internal drive to immerse themselves into the feelings and shut out the outside world. It takes a lot of trust to share that with someone.

I would be finding out what helps her enjoy this even more. It's not threatening to me and I know from experience that helping my partners achieve deep intense orgasms helps bond them to me. It doesn't matter if those orgasms come from fingers, tongue, penis or toys. The intense complex chemical, hormonal and emotional reactions of such a shared experience builds trust and allows love to develop to its greatest potential (assuming other issues like shit personalities aren't in play).

If you help her then you can expect she will be eager to find what gets you off with similar intensity.

Try it.

just feel like i should have been given a choice. if he/they had used them on her, they'd have been touching them, they may have had his/their fluids on them and in truth i dont know what they did with them so maybe they did go in him.

i think its wrong. like i said i would change sheets between lovers because its just cleaner.

>i think its wrong. like i said i would change sheets between lovers because its just cleaner.

She can and I hope she does wash/clean them after each use. It's no different to washing and reusing coffee cups

>I agree. These are her toys....

See above for rationale...

>This assumes she cleans her toys regularly.

I have no way of knowing about this, as it just came out of the drawer.

>I think "used it with other guys" as the core of OP feeling butt hurt isn't true.

it kinda is but as i stated there is more to it.

> He's upset she gets off more powerfully with this big dildo than with him. But he shouldn't be.

Why not? of course I'm sad she liked it more than me.

>Sex should be fun and pleasurable.
agreed.

>Each of you should have the goal of making and helping the other get off as best he/she can.
go on..

>The body's sexual responses can be overwhelming, watch someone who's in touch with their own body experience orgasm and you'll see someone who gives themselves over to the internal drive to immerse themselves into the feelings and shut out the outside world. It takes a lot of trust to share that with someone.

yeah, probably more lyrical than id put it but ok. so why wouldnt i want that when im inside her? more to the point why wouldnt she want that when im inside her?

>I would be finding out what helps her enjoy this even more.

the fact its huge, and its not part of me.

>It doesn't matter if those orgasms come from fingers, tongue, penis or toys.

im glad you feel that way. i don't. i wouldnt mind if it was fingers, tongue or dick. i do mind that clearly I'm not built to please her.

> The intense complex chemical, hormonal and emotional reactions of such a shared experience builds trust and allows love to develop to its greatest potential

but im not sharing the experince, im poking in and out with a rubber baseball bat

im just not wired like that. im very into giving my partner pleasure, listening to what they like and doing my best to give it. i cant add 3" to my cock. (fwiw im not small, this was huge)

>Try it.

i did, i didnt like it.

just so I can frame my 'real' question to you appropriately, are you male or female?

I'm male

I see you're missing my point. If you ever get over your insecurity about
>the fact its huge, and its not part of me.
then this
>. im very into giving my partner pleasure, listening to what they like and doing my best to give it.
Will make you the kind of lover girls never want to let go of.

>Why not? of course I'm sad she liked it more than me.

If someone really lets go of themselves and immerses into the experience you lose control over your body's responses. She's not wilfully enjoying this more, it just hits the spot so to speak and now you know she enjoys this some knowledge of the vagina and its pleasure spots gives you an opportunity.

Your fingers are much more manipulative than your penis. So get them inside her and explore, slowly, and find if it's her G spot that gives her this response. If you master your game you'll see her cum harder and deeper than ever before.

> but I want her to get like that with me fucking her

It may not happen so find other ways. The penis is a fairly blunt instrument. It's primarily made for your pleasure and secondly for hers. Treat it like that. Make sure she knows she has to pleasure you in the same way you're working to please her.

thank you. so i guess my question is would you genuinely be ok if your suddenly presented with a sex toy by your partner, and then after you;re told she used it with others.

not sure I am missing your point - i think you're saying im being silly and i should be pleased that she can be this aroused with me however it happens? i just dont agree/feel that way

> She's not wilfully enjoying this more, it just hits the spot so to speak

no i appreciate that. im not angry she likes the dildo more than me (im angry she used an old toy). Im sad I don't 'hit the spot'

>and now you know she enjoys this some knowledge of the vagina and its pleasure spots gives you an opportunity.

i do have some awareness of the vagina, and previous partners have been good with my knowledge of it. this girl was not as responsive to me, and now i do know what she likes - evidently a significant part of a rubber plantation.

>Your fingers are much more manipulative than your penis

i use my hands and mouth with her, nothing made her flip like the dildo

>The penis is a fairly blunt instrument.

not as blunt as 10lbs of recyled auto tyre..


i'm sorry to be negative. i just feel how i do. we're meeting tommorow and i'm going to end it. i can't forgive her for bringing her used sex toys in to our intimacy, and i wont get over knowing how i dont match up to her real requirements. its best for her, and me.

>so tight it won't even allow a finger

H..how?!
I literally use keggel weights and I'm not this tight

as a straight man who sometimes enjoys shoving phallus-shaped objects into his ass sometimes, let me explain

it just feels great

having an intimate part of your body stretched like that brings you 100% into the moment, and when you come, all your muscles are wrapped around the object and it says pleasure shock waves through the whole surrounding area, more-so than a regular orgasm. even the build up is much better

nonetheless, emotional intimacy is not something any dead object can replace, obvsly

the fact she doesn't use it with some lovers doesn't mean they were bigger/better (though it is possible), it might just mean she never felt close enough with these people to do that

her behaviour is not a critique of your ability, it's just an expression of /some/ of her desires. and i emphasise the word some, because that will not constitute all of her desires.

instead of feeling insecure, realise that she is opening up to you, and she would probably be willing to reciprocate and do whatever you want to fulfill your sexual desires too

in the long run, you'll realise there will always be guys who are better at sex than you, that you'll probably never be your girlfriend's _physically ideal_ sexual partner - but you might be her emotionally ideal sexual partner - just like she is probably not your physically ideal sexual partner (she could have bigger tits, bigger ass, etc)

you can either get over yourself now or see the error of your ways in 5 years after much self hate and misdirected misogyny and loneliness, or you can grow up now and enjoy the fact she wants to share her body with you

up to you

Never go full retard femanon. Too much of anything is harmfull.

>nonetheless, emotional intimacy is not something any dead object can replace, obvsly

then why be so turned on by a dead object

>in the long run, you'll realise there will always be guys who are better at sex than you, that you'll probably never be your girlfriend's _physically ideal_ sexual partner - but you might be her emotionally ideal sexual partner - just like she is probably not your physically ideal sexual partner (she could have bigger tits, bigger ass, etc)

guys better at sex than me, maybe. inanimate objects..come on how isnt that hurthful. Also, no she is litterally physically perfect for me. i dont believe in settling, and i dont want to be anybodys settled choice.

>you can either get over yourself now or see the error of your ways in 5 years after much self hate and misdirected misogyny and loneliness, or you can grow up now and enjoy the fact she wants to share her body with you

im over it, we'll split up tommorow, she'll be happier with her physical/emotional ideal and i'll start my search again. i don't hate myself, her or women in general and i dont plan on being lonely.

thanks for your advice, i appreciate the time you took

I've got a solution to your problem, OP. Get yourself one of those realistic expensive sex dolls, with bigger tits and a bigger ass than your girlfriend. Next time you start making out, pull that giant thing out of your closet, lay it down on the bed, and fuck it right in front of your girlfriend. Really moan over it, get vocal, make it clear you're enjoying the hell out of it. Grope the tits and smack the ass, and shout when you cum inside it. When you're done, give your girlfriend a kiss and tell her it's the best sex you've ever had.

She will NOT like it, and in trying to explain why, she'll be forced to understand why you don't like the dildo.

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hahhah exactly. and to make it precisely the same, after doing all that I should tell her that I did this was my other girlfriends and they loved it too...

OP is going to get cucked by a BIG LONG THICK dildo. Humanlets cannot compete.

Well I guess ne can on,ybtry so hard to explain a concept. But in the end that makes one sexually expressive, beautiful girl available for the rest of us to find.

Don't pretend. Nothing's available for you, loser.

No your concept makes sense. But sex is a social activity, and getting off on a dildo while she's in bed with her boyfriend is the equivalent of playing a game on your cell-phone while someone is talking to you. It's just rude. If you're going to prioritize your own enjoyment/fun over other peoples' feelings, you shouldn't be surprised when they get upset about it.

Girls have more than one hole you fucking virgin. Jesus christ you're so fucking insecure about a lump of silicone

Take a deep breath and relax, user

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I accept your admittance that you have no argument

If you just want to be right, why come here at all? Why not stand in front of a mirror and masturbate slowly while you think about all the things you're right about?

I made my argument. A good relationship is give-and-take. I'm not saying she should throw the dildo away, but if it's fucking things up between her and OP, he shouldn't have to watch her enjoying it more than she enjoys sex with him. It's a bit insensitive on her part. It might seem like a silly problem to you, but it's not your relationship

>also she hasn't used it with others - so like only some people she needed it with? the shitty lovers?
To me it sounds like she didn't use them on people she didn't trust too much, or alternatively, one night stands.
And I mean really, if this was enough to make you doubt the relationship, it makes sense she wouldn't bring it up to every guy she has met.


The thing with fetishes is that they can become a routine, and maybe now she can't get off proper, without a gigantic rubber going deep inside her.

It is perfectly fair if you consider this to be a deal breaker, but you could also learn something if you stick around some more.
And maybe now that she's had her way, now you can bring up some kinky stuff to the table that you wanna do.

Yes and no, does it really matter to you is really what you need to think about. Whether these are detrimental, I think they are, isn't relevant with her. She's already passed the point with these where they are required so with her that's just how it is, no going back.
You have to accept it or move on.

Even just a onahole / flashlight (a particularly tight one) would get the point across

Wait...did you still have sex with her that night or...

Let's use another example just for comparison purposes.

If she pulls out a vibrator does that mean you think she wants to hump you faster? No. It's just a tool to help a person get off.

If I watch a guy touch himself during foreplay that doesn't mean I think he prefers another man's hand to my female hand, etc.

You're making a common mistake among men by taking things way too literally when they aren't meant to be.

>this makes me feel weird. like I get it shes been with other people but this is like icky.
What's she supposed to do, replace all her toys every time she has sex with someone new?

You’re insecure own up to it

are you by any chance not very blessed in the size department?

You can either get out. Or mention to her that if she likes big dildos, that maybe you should get a soft, tight fleshlight

I've not read the thread yet, but my gf pulled out her old dildo (disgusting heavily veined realistic jelly dong thing) which luckily I was bigger than. I asked if we could shop for a new one together rather than use that one and she was at first concerned, but I told her it was a sexier that way? She was down, few months later old faithful went into a firepit in the garden.

Tell her that you don't like it (you and mr silicone). And if she wants it, split it one night for you and one night she sleeps with mr silicone. And see how that goes. It's normal not to like every fucked up pleasures advertised out there. And you should find a compatibility spot between you two.

OP back.

thank you i appreciate your effort. fwiw she's on the market if you're ok with this sort of thing she's a great girl

i think its clear im not a virgin but enjoy projecting

thanks. i didnt mind using toys with her, i did mind using old ones.

thanks. yeah im not really into this kind of tit for tat sexuality - id rather we did stuff togther than trade 'favours'

thanks

i did ask her how she'd feel about it and she said she wouldnt like it sooo...

were having sex, then she stopped me and pulled it out the drawer. its hard not to take litterally the eyes rolling back in head of a woman who wasnt so responsive with me

i dont see why not, but if not at least raise it with the person involved. see earlier sheet cleaning analogy..

i thought id been quit open about this, yes i am a little. so?

well everyman would like to be bigger but im bigger than average so not particularly size worried till now!

im out
thats fair enough, but we've split up so she can keep it and use with her next boyfriend

thanks everyone for reasonable advice, im sure some of you think im nuts but im quite content - its a shame but for me it was a deal breaker. and she'll be happier with someone she can do these thngs with...

You did well OP.
If you were to feel uncomfortable every time you had intimacy, there was no point going any further with the relationship. You aren't forced to accept her, start your search again.

Lol, she was a selfish bitch. Its interesting how many blatant trolls are itt. Gj