I haven't moved out yet because I'm still studying and I live in a near shithole, my parents are poor and struggle to make ends meet. My disabled grandmother lives with us and she's just gross, so no one ever comes over. It's a 4 bedroom house and there are 6 people in total (including my siblings).
I've always been very insecure of my background and lately more so, because my boyfriend has been over twice (we usually hang out at his place which is way more spacious and his family is well off) and I feel like he pities me or judges me.
We love each other deeply and we bonded over a shared passion for knowledge and literature and art but lately I've been feeling so insecure about him coming over that I was even entertaining thoughts about breaking up.
Help me out anons.
Do guys care if their girlfriend comes from a shitty working class background?
>Do guys care if
no
you're welcome
Some will and some won't. Please pick a man who won't.
Or do what the rest of women do and pick a guy who hates it and wonder why you're miserable
most won't care
some rich kids might be snobby about it
if your house is a shithole in ways other than just "being small and cheap" (garbage or dirty dishes everywhere, funny smells, etc), then THAT is something to be self-conscious about
I'm also very ashamed of my parents, they're uneducated and crass and I get the feeling that my boyfriend judges me, although he never voices it. He's always talking about how rich his friends are, and I feel a bit insecure when having to hang out with them.
It's generally more embarassing the other way around. It's traditional for men to "bring wealth" to their SO.
So you shouldn't get anxious over it, chances he doesn't give a shit and/or is fine with that fact.
As a generality, like others have told you, guys do NOT care about their girl's family. Keep in mind, that this comes with the expectation that we will not have to deal with your family after we get serious/committed. If the baggage follows, then it's a huge issue. People are marrying individuals, not their families, at least here in the U.S. and other western countries. Provided that there's chemistry between you and your partner, then you have nothing to worry. I really cannot emphasize that enough. The truth is that almost no family is perfect, and it's very likely, almost a certainty, that your boyfriend's family has some problems, maybe some hidden more than others.
I can only speak as a lowish income guy. I have no idea how the rich upper class view the whole dating under their class thing. You mention having a house with 4 rooms though, you're definitely not poor. Poor is living in a section 8 ghetto or an 800 sq foot apartment like rats. So you have some self-esteem issues. Your boyfriend might be a class higher, but you're not at the bottom either.
Provided you have a good heart, then everything can be forgiven about your family. Those traits about being uneducated or crass will just be something to laugh at around dinner tables and reunions etc. Be the best girlfriend/partner you can be to your boyfriend. That is all that matters.
You aren't them. Please, as a guy with a girlfriend whose parents should have their own set of achievements just for making it through a conversation with them.
Don't take the blame for them. You aren't them.
This definitely helps. Thanks anons,
>I'm also very ashamed of my parents
The fact that you openly state this, and disparage your family, is far more of a red flag than your "class" ever could be.
I think what matters is your class, not your families class and wealth is irrelevant. I would much rather to hanging out with someone from the upper/middle class of a poor country than I would a chav from Europe, even though the chavs have more access to money.
There are some guys who will look down on people if they didn't go to some prestigious school and aren't in the boat club. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about a bigger group that wants to be with someone intelligent, organised, adventurous and interesting. Instead of negative, or silly and unorganized, unambitious, or just not knowledgable about the world.
Just apply to the top 5 universities, you'll figure it out.
why ? The first time he met my dad, my dad was wearing a fishnet wife beater shirt, and had just drunk an entire bottle of rum. I've been bullied because of how crass my dad is, in the past so that's why I'm ashamed.
We bonded over our intellectual aspirations. Once I'm done with school, I'm sure my social class will improve.
My girlfriend grew up poor working from the age of 14 at shitty jobs to keep her family above water. I love that my girlfriend has the life experience of growing up struggling because it instilled her with a decent work ethic and an appreciation of and head for finances.
>I feel like he's pitying and judging me
Sounds like a you problem, not a him problem. Stop judging yourself when other people aren't, it's a stupid fucking habit to have.
You type like an insufferable leftist, that's why.
Your bf obviously doesn't care, if that's what you're worrying about, but that's only because he is blinded to the situation he's getting himself into. I can guarantee with near certainty that your relationship will fail down the line, and it will be do to the attitudes you have formed, not because of your dad. As you probably know, I don't pass up chances to insult people, but the blame is irrelevant in this case; it doesn't matter why you have this attitude, just that you have it at all.
I've seen this kind of thing personally.
You're right, I have major self esteem issues.
You're correct, it's just the way I am.
>I can extrapolate all my personal experiences to be categorical truths applicable to all people
Shut the fuck up hitler, this is why you got your ass kicked in WW2.
P.S., I'm gonna fuck my girlfriend's sweet wet pussy in the sweaty lock of pre-marital coitus and finish inside her while the birth control medicine keeps her from ever having a white child and there's
nothing
you
can
do
about
it
:^)
>I've seen this kind of thing personally.
Not shocking. We'd all do the same if we were related to you as well.
>my sick disabled grandmother is gross
Man, go fuck yourself. If my girl friend ever spoke a out her grandmother like that I would dump the bitch asap.
The point is that if you can work on your attitude and stabilize your relationship with your family (not to the point we're your an idyllic, happy family, just to where you are comfortable with your relationship to them), you have nothing to worry about. Good luck.
>post sourced information for arguments
>lol Hitler stop posting stats, you don't have any experience and nobody should listen to you :)
>post experiential information
>lol Hitler anecdotes aren't worth anything :)
Dumbfucks. "Daddy issues" is laughably common as a problem, and don't pretend like you've never seen it here before. If you don't like me, fine, but at least be honest with yourselves if you want to engage me.
>I'm going to make impulsive and self-defeating choices!!! Haha, joke's on you!
Be my guest? If I told you not to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
Did that sound better when you thought of it? It doesn't make any sense.
Yes it did sound better in my head.
I was implying that your first hand experience was your family shunning you out of shame, and that we would all do the exact same thing if related to you as well, because you're an embarrassment. Hope that clears it up for you, it can be difficult to concentrate at the airport bar, and sentences are hard.
Not really the same thing. It becomes an issue when you let family problems seep into your psyche, so even if I was on terrible terms with my family, it wouldn't be a problem unless they let it get to them.
I’d prefer a poor girl. My wife’s family manipulates her and therefore us with money. I hate it.
On the other hand, I don’t want a dirtbag girl. Bathe, use good English, don’t smoke, gamble, use payday loans, abuse credit, take drugs, drink to excess, live trashy, etc. Poor but hard-working, clean and decent is best. Gratitude in life is huge for happiness.
He definitely pities and judges you. It's not a big deal for men.
I know this is really foreign to women and they have a difficult time empathizing with it but that's just how men are. The good news is whatever judgement call he's made about you he's still with you so that's all there is to it.
If your house is a shithole, that's more embarrassing. We expect the families to be crazy, regardless of class. As long as they keep to themselves when he's over, and as long as the place isn't a total pigpen, you should be fine. If it is, try to have him over when no one is around and when you've cleaned up, or don't have him over at all. Or, just talk to him and tell him how you feel, that you're ashamed of your family(not your class, because working class people can be just as functional as anyone else) and you don't want him to be exposed to them.
>that pic
>Be me
>Come from country club background
>Wife is a literal Hillbilly.
Pretty good, tbqh. I can travel between those two worlds. Hunting and fixing cars with Dad in law, fancy dinners and parties with the family. Bonus points, my mom hates her.
High class girls are the fucking worst.
Most don't
some like me do
though its not really wealth that matters, its manners and culture which are usually signs of a promising future and financial stability. I would rather be with a poor girl who I can have an intelligent conversation with over a rich girl who is too into her Uggs and Starbucks.
That is only shit that women care about.
MUTTED
Guys don't care about that shit. As long as you are a 5 or up it really doesn't matter. All a woman got to bring to the table is not look hideous and men will go for them if they have a modicum of confidence
I come from a rich neighborhood and literally none of the guys here give 2 fucks about your bank account.
He will never be King
They both know this, it's part of the covenant.
Talk to your boyfriend about this.
Some people do care about the background of their partner. Some people don't. You need to figure out what sort of person your boyfriend is. The only way to do that is to communicate openly with him.
It depends.
Personally, I would struggle to do date a woman that didn't come from a working class background. The lives are just too different and wealthier people never understand what it's like to grow up poor.
It's pretty normal that men date or marry women who are from a lower socioeconomic background than them.
only women judge people on their family or income
Only if they are from some super aristocratic blue blood old money family... And even then if the girl has something of high value like they are a prodigy expected to do big things they'll look past it.
Otherwise, no. Men are not like women. Women seek the approval of how someone effects their appearances, and NO WOMAN will dare lower their social standing for their feelings.
Men are willing to scrape so low that they will help raise another mans child because they love the cum dumpster that shat it out.
>TL;DR? Women are incapible of understanding love, only how others effect their social standing.
10/10 gj op
This is fucking pathetic. You're an adult. Your partner is an adult. Your economic circumstances of your childhood don't mean jack shit for compatibility. Try loving someone for who they are, and the merits of their character. Your position implies all poors are virtuous and understand hard work, and people who were comfortable growing up lack some sort of worldliness because they lacked your struggle. You sound ignorant as fuck.
>Hunting and fixing cars with Dad in law
>has vast amount of resources
>allows others to exert influence over self AND goes for trailer trash
so does your probably racist wife fuck irish guys when she cucks you or does she go full black?
Hey. How was the birthday yesterday.