I think I'm done

You are defeated then. Your attitude sucks. For someone with nothing to lose you sure dont want to make any changes. I'm assuming there is an obvious issue even you are aware of. Maybe body odor? Be your own critic make yourself presentable. Get back at it.

Don't post in the thread then.
>You got good penmanship with your pencil?
How the fuck should I know? I don't make particularly attractive letters, but I used to paint, so I guess I can keep a steady hand and do movements with it. But it's no replacement for a big cock.
>Maybe body odor? Be your own critic make yourself presentable.
My dad's a macho man who made me go to sports (instead of learning languages like I went) since I was five. I've let myself go a bit this year, but I'm more presentable than the majority of people. I shave and shower every day. I go to the dermatologist and have a specific skincare routine. I'm not bald (yet; who knows what the future holds). I dress good and proper. There's no specific reason for random people who don't know me to look at me and leave.

I was pretty much in your case last year. What I did is breaking the cycle: dropped out, got a job, met some people. I gained much self-confidence and happiness in it. Now I started some other kind of school where I feel way more belonging to. You can choose: staying in the same loop, or trying to improve yourself. You are not a subhuman, but if you stay in the same state of mind, it cannot change. You certainly are a good person. You are aware of your defaults, but if you don't try to improve, or at least to make a place for the things that you know you are good to, you are going to stay in this self-hating cycle.

Maybe its your body language then? You know yourself better than anyone here.are you aware of the issue and refuse to fix it and are trying to make uo for it in other areas? Watch some motivational tony robbins videos (not kidding) do your best to put yourself in a great mode before interacting with the public.

Your attitude in this thread is like an essay on why you're a kissless, hugless virgin

You're dreaming if you really think a cock that big is pleasurable. Get off of pornhub dude.

Well I can't drop out. I'd have to waste another year studying HS stuff to retake entry exams.
I don't have any weird body language "kinks" or whatever. Straight back, head up, normal expression, nothing out of the ordinary.
user, I'm venting here and telling you everything because it's anonymous. You think I literally walk up to people and say "pllleeeeeeassseeee like I'm all alone and feel like a subhuman"? I can fake normalcy.

Yeah, all girls want the ideal 7"x6" cock and anything bigger is just as bad as a 3"x4" cock. I've heard it all before user. Yet I have tons of vids and WEBMs of regular women taking 9" cocks. I even have one where she takes a whole horsecock (literal; she gets fucked by a horse). Point is, dick is determined by genetics, and I cannot change it, yet is one of the most important things in the life of a man.

If you really can't comprehend how things like misery and self loathing translate into the subtleties of body language and communication, you might be autistic. Humans are social animals, you are hard wired to express fundamental emotions like grief and anger, and other humans are hard wired to notice it. You are not a misunderstood TV genius that can compartmentalize, pick and choose which persona to wear.

STOP. YOU THINK PORN IS REAL LIFE. THESE WOMEN HAVE DESTROYED THEMSELVES AND ARE IMMUNE TO THE PAIN THAT A NORMAL WOMAN WOULD RECEIVE. STOP WATCHING PORN. IT'S MADE YOU ILL. PRACTICE TALKING TO PEOPLE. BE INTERESTING.

I'm 5'8, got a smaller cock than you but am confident and try to be nice to everyone. I practiced my social skills and became extroverted and can talk to girls. It's a mindset. Take care of yourself, dress well, smile, say hi to random people you pass. Get into the mindset of continual self improvement and you'll go far.

>I can fake normalcy
And you think this isn't part of the problem, how?
You think you're the only person on planet Earth who can spot you faking your attitude of 'normalcy,' how?

Countless billions, probably easily hundred-thousands in your city, and you think you're the only one who's going to know what an act is?

This is the problem. You think it's all about you. Nigger, we're evolutionary vomit courtesy of infinitely improbable outcomes. Given a limitless expanse of time and infinite resources, we managed to become human and fuck everything up for everything else. We're all on this shitty rock together, all slowly dying one day at a time while we pretend with all our might that there's something called 'meaning' or 'purpose' in life because god, what a fucking sick irony if we were literally just extensions of our parents' egoism and overconfidence. What a shame if giving birth to people who turn out sick and weak and weary turned out to be complete fucking sick irony. And we all defend it, childbirth is so sacred, kids are so precious. It's all so goddamn pretentious. We're all gonna fucking croak and we're worried about the colour of each other's skin. God, we fucked up bad.

And you.
You care about getting your dick wet.
Somehow, in all that, you think you're the only one privvy to that fact and it must be some cruel joke of the world instead of a fault of your own that people steer clear of you.

>You are not a misunderstood TV genius that can compartmentalize, pick and choose which persona to wear.
I literally said in the OP that I'm not smart. Do you really think I'm an edgelord who believes nobody understands him? I can just fake things enough. I don't have any problems with say, my Lab Partners. I see people on the bus who look downright miserable, whereas I'm not like that. I'm like everybody else.
It's simple logic user. If a woman is an 8/10, she's gonna fuck a lot of guys. At least one or two are bound to have big cocks. No matter what, she'll always fantasize about them.
>You think it's all about you.
user, I think you're projecting. I literally said in the OP that I don't have a high view of myself. How can I possibly believe "it's all about me"? I'm not blaming anyone for my problems and choices; I just came here to see how fucked I am. I don't need a pseudo-intellectual """psychoanalysis""".

You act like an edgelord, you act like you get all your opinions off Jow Forums and you're absolutely projecting at the world for your problems (muh dick size!).

Get over yourself... otherwise, you're going to get laid and realize your depression isn't magically going away over sex.

>call myself a failure
>REEE EDGELORD BLAMING OTHERS REEEE
How does this make sense?

>takes Jow Forums and Jow Forums seriously
>b-but chad will take the wins!
>I-I don't want your advice!
>I don't know if I can pen well!
>b-but I'm totally more presentable than """the majority""" of people
>I'm totally aware! I have no strange kinks!
>I don't want to 'waste time' dropping out even though it's making me depressed!

Edgelords take on a lot of aspects and kind of do it to themselves, but the biggest show here is the constant contrarian attacks. Just because you
>call myself a failure
doesn't mean you act or think like that-- in fact, it kind of seems here like you feel you're owed something. Not only is your dick bigger than tons of guys (who still score), and you're well-off enough to go to post-secondary (which many aren't), besides which you aren't even poorly spoken so you're not a moron.

So what the fuck, nigger? Stop with the goddamn 'problems.' Don't make up shit and act like it's a problem to you, man, you're better off than people giving you Jow Forums in this thread and you still somehow manage to make this a misery-fest about you.

Maybe take the pussy off a pedestal. And before you tell me sex isn't crucial to you, try another thread where you don't bring it up multiple times in just the OP.

>it kind of seems here like you feel you're owed something.
Doesn't everyone think that?On some basic, primal level?
>Not only is your dick bigger than tons of guys (who still score),
Yeah, I'm supposed to be happy with my 6" because some guy has a 3". Meanwhile /soc/ is full of guys with 9".
>and you're well-off enough to go to post-secondary (which many aren't),
Unis are free here. Well, more or less. You still need money for housing/food and all that jazz.
>So what the fuck, nigger? Stop with the goddamn 'problems.' Don't make up shit and act like it's a problem to you, man, you're better off than people giving you Jow Forums in this thread and you still somehow manage to make this a misery-fest about you.
Ever since I was 5, I had one philosophy: "If I'm not perfect, I'm nothing". I can't just... let it go. I know it's fucking with me but I cannot let it go...
>Maybe take the pussy off a pedestal.
Well I can't. It's one of the most important things in life; next to power. And I feel as if I'll never have either.

>Doesn't everyone think that?
No? Why the fuck would the world owe me shit? I'm not 'supposed to' or 'meant to' be here, I'm here because a woman and a man thought that they'd be fine with another life under their belt. (There's a lot more to my story than that but let's leave it there.)
>Meanwhile /soc/
Friendly reminder: /soc/ is a containment board off Jow Forums. Their shit was so sad and whiny that even we on Jow Forums wanted it contained off of our board.
Remember that.
Also, size isn't everything.
>University is free here
This is not helping your case.
>If I'm not perfect, I'm nothing
You're going to spend a lot of your life being nothing. Specifically, all of it.
How on Earth can you be perfect in a world that changes by the day?
>it's one of the most important things in life
Facetious answer: you're right. All the ladies who live past 110 years old have no man. They must be on to something with pussy.

Actual answer: no, it's not. In fact, pussy is one of the least important things you'll ever encounter in life. The irony is you'll never know this until you get it and realize just how fucking facetious it is. What you WANT is someone who finds meaning and drive in you as much as you do for them, but Jow Forums.

And as per my original point: this self-serving, I'm-at-the-center mentality. This dick-size-is-everything, all-life-is-measured-in-inches. This sex-above-all, pussy-must-be-acquired.
This thread is a gigantic diatribe of you. It's a roast. It's some of your worst on display.

In layman's terms-- no girl wants a man who's BETTER than her at shifting blame and responsibility.

Dude, I love you for reminding me of that show.
Really should watch it again soon. One of the greats.

>No? Why the fuck would the world owe me shit?
I'm not saying it does, just that everyone longs for it to be true.
>Also, size isn't everything.
Surveys and those vids on YT say otherwise.
>How on Earth can you be perfect in a world that changes by the day?
Shit user, dunno. 10/10 isn't attainable, but I sure wish I looked like Brad Pitt, had Mandigo's dick and Von Braun's intellect.
>What you WANT is someone who finds meaning and drive in you as much as you do for them
Well yeah, I never said otherwise. But I don't think any woman would settle for a guy with such a small cock.
>It's some of your worst on display.
Obviously, yeah. Isn't that the point of this board? Vent with anonymity about everything?
Sure, go ahead. I finished it last Christmas.

Drop out of school for now, it's clearly not treating you well and it's not a big deal if you graduate a semester or two later than you expected. It's a few months from your life.

Get a part-time job if you can, just something so you have mandatory, minimal social interaction.

Seek mental health treatment. You're clearly severely depressed right now, and you almost certainly have underlying anxiety at least.

These are your first steps, go do them and stop ruminating on how terrible everything is.

>Longs for it to be true
I mean, I guess I'm putting a line in the sand between people who do, and who don't, let that affect and come out through their actions.
>Surveys and YT videos
Another friendly reminder: surveys can be sponsored or biased and can omit unhelpful data; I shouldn't have to explain why YouTube is/can be just as guilty of cherry picking.
To break this down further, with so many people on Earth, your current iteration of "big" cock is going to be "too big" cock for some girls. There are ladies out there who can't even squeeze an index finger in, would you believe it? Eight inches with just about any matched girth would fucking traumatize her to the point that sex was just off the table.
It's a big wide world out there. Ironically, because of this, you can cherrypick and pigeonhole your view insanely hard and it still 'looks like' you're pulling from vast data. But it's all perspective-- and, of course, you never know when you're being spoonfed bullshit really.
>Shit user, dunno.
You would be held to Brad Pitt's standards of behavior and charisma, Mandingo's level of sexual prowess and know-how and Von Braun's critical capacities for analyses and debates. You would be expected to be at such top game the pressure would destroy you.
Unless, of course, you're insisting you would be some perfect, fluid harmony of three people combining the good and not the bad.
And, of course, ignoring the celeb deaths linked to depression. Status won't get you everywhere and life has too many facets to be good at all of them (or even more than a few).

I'm trying not to razz you super hard because I reach out and feel for you, I do, but you're really just putting up some dangerous defenses. The more you do this to yourself, the harder it is to get out; and the sad thing is that you'll have vindication of how wrong it is anytime you enter society. It just isn't that black and white out there.

cont

>no woman would settle for such a small cock.
But says who? And again, exactly how small do you think this is?
Besides which, are you insisting that 3in cocks never get any? Because that would sure suggest that by your submission, 3in cocks should not exist. In fact, by virtue of your suggestion here, only huge cocks should exist.

People who aren't Brad Pitt exist, and mate, all the time. They get by on more clout than "I look good, am hung, and sound smart." In fact, girls nowadays-- if you're dating outside the teen pool-- are more interested in guys who aren't going to become victims of their own psyche. They hate this new wave of numales who can't pick up their pant legs and get hustlin' when they're clearly just riding off others' successes; they never stop and think how they can change themselves to make things better and instead demand the world around them change. We should 'accept fat people,' we should 'stop being racist.' Judgement of people is how we get by and being judged is how we improve. Remove that, and you remove the whole point to being human-- stagnation doesn't require sentience for shit.
You're coming dangerously close to this point where you're your own worst problem. You're not there yet-- you're self aware, conscious of these facts, you know you're doing it to yourself and that you can't just arbitrarily keep doing it.

All I'm trying to tell you is this;
>Isn't that the point of this board? Vent ... ?

It should be closure. You should feel like you understand reactions to your problem; thereby you might know better how to react, or understand where your reactions have failed you.

>Drop out of school for now
Nah, I can't do that. I already dropped out of MechEng because it was too far and lost one year. I can't drop out again.
>It should be closure. You should feel like you understand reactions to your problem; thereby you might know better how to react, or understand where your reactions have failed you.
I guess. It might be the wine talking (I think I've had close to two bottles of red by now; I didn't mention that I drink a tad too much these days), but maybe you're right. This feeling comes and goes, but maybe I'll be ready for it next time. Thanks for taking the time and.. for caring, user...

>for caring
And I do and I'd love that my words (or anyone's) would dispel this feeling. "This feeling," close as I've come to a guess, is life. I'm 27 going on 28 in September and basically in more or less a similar boat; I've classed myself into ruts and out of school, I've let myself fall into a routine and six years your senior, I haven't got a damn thing to show for it except this stale realization that it doesn't "get better." Depression and I will be bedfellows until the day I die and if I don't like that, I can have the luxury of an early death. Whoo.

But, you know, it's up to us to enjoy life. Nobody's gonna do it for us. Two bottles of red or no, it's important to realize that it might be more constructive to seek refuge and solace in helping others. At least, more so constructive than it is to regale facts you know, to receive answers you've given yourself.

I wish there were more conclusion I could give but honestly there's probably a lot to your story that doesn't really need to come up on Jow Forums. I know how it is and I know how depression eats away at everything you do, think and feel. But honestly, the only answer I've found is to keep fighting and keep on keeping on.

At some point, I realized that people saw a kindred spirit in that-- that they saw, if nothing else, someone who could give them a hand in their fight against it.
I'm also particularly tender because before Christmas, a very close friend of mine committed suicide. Above all things else, I regret not having an answer. If I had closure-- just a bit. Just to know that he made the decision himself in clear mind and genuinely wanted that escape.

I guess I really just want to say that if things seem so dark now, that might just be your vision on things. It might not all be this bad.

As for some of the issues though, you definitely have to realize that there is an echo chamber on Jow Forums-- the internet as a whole really-- and that they will ardently maintain it at the cost of truth.

>And I do and I'd love that my words (or anyone's) would dispel this feeling. "This feeling," close as I've come to a guess, is life. I guess you're probably right. The more I speak with people, the more I understand everyone's equally... not unhappy per se, just... a tad flawed, on the inside. We just need to struggle and find someone that makes it worth it, I imagine.
>But, you know, it's up to us to enjoy life. Nobody's gonna do it for us. Two bottles of red or no, it's important to realize that it might be more constructive to seek refuge and solace in helping others.
I don't know. Sometimes I feel guilty, as if I'm responsible for all the evil in the world. Me being here means that I should be doing... "something" and yet, I feel all this.. hatred. Coupled with pity and anger and I just... I want to help, I like helping, but...
>But honestly, the only answer I've found is to keep fighting and keep on keeping on.
I'd wager that's true.
>I'm also particularly tender because before Christmas, a very close friend of mine committed suicide.
I doubt it matters, but I'm sorry user. I've lost relatives to it as well.
>I guess I really just want to say that if things seem so dark now, that might just be your vision on things. It might not all be this bad.
I know. Things get better after a while, but this feeling always comes back and I'm afraid that some day it'll come and stay for good. Every time it's worse and I don't know if it's just me being easily disappointed, or if there's something inherently wrong with me. I wouldn't want to burden others with my problems.
>As for some of the issues though, you definitely have to realize that there is an echo chamber on Jow Forums-- the internet as a whole really-- and that they will ardently maintain it at the cost of truth.
I know there is. Hell, I've shitposted long enough to have even started trends and spawned copycats on /co/. But I can't let go...