Alright so I got to know this girl online and she wanted to be my gf. I said sure why not because I'm a loser so I thought this would be the only chance I have of something approximating a relationship. Problem is she's in a different country and we can't easily see each other. So this continues for a few weeks and I reciprocate stuff she says because I don't want her to feel bad (she had a history of depression and mental instability). Her being emotionally dependent on me is starting to get tiring and I come to the realisation that we'll never really see each other or be together for, at best, years. I bring this up (mistake I know) and she begins to cry. She says she loves me and wants to be with me no matter what. I don't feel that strongly towards her and kind of want to get out of this pseudo-relationship. I'm just afraid that if I outright say that then she'll try kill herself or something since apparently I'm what keeps her ok these days (history of suicide attempts).
Well user, no matter what you do it won't end well, so the best you can do is to break it off in the best possible way.
Brayden Nelson
and what do you think that is?
Austin Miller
Use whatever influence you have with her to convince her to get psychological help. Only break it off with her if you think it's safe. You don't want blood on your hands.
Dylan Baker
Holy shit kid, grow a fucking pair of balls. Tell her what you wrote and be done with it. It's not rocket science
Ryder Jenkins
Ghost her.
She sounds mentally ill and everything about this situation is fantasy based.
Try to explain how you feel and how you don't think it's healthy to partake in a relationship that will never be real. Say you're there to support her as a friend if she can handle that.
She will probably threaten suicide, but this should just show you how damaged, dangerous and manipulative she is. She cannot love or care for you if she threatens you with that.
Also, she cannot love you anyway, as she has never met you. Let this be a lesson to you that online, LDR are never a good idea.
Kayden Myers
Don't listen to this user. Ghosting her will lead to a suicide attempt.
LDR are very real too, if you actually are willing to do it. Works for some, deal breaker for others.
Parker Moore
They're not real. They're not "real" until you meet each other face to face and see whether you're actually compatible. Until then, it's just an online fantasy.
It isn't OP's responsibility to make sure she doesn't kill herself. If she does it over something so minor, she's probably a pretty useless person to have around anyway. I know it sounds awful, but so is threatening to kill yourself to get what you want.
Landon Morales
This
Christian Scott
They are very real, same chemicals and such going around as if you really met someone. Looks aren't everything, it doesn't suddenly change the personality.
She doesn't have to threaten suicide in order to go to the next step. She can, you know, just do it.
Brandon Walker
You're a big boy, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
Gavin White
that's not what ghosting means nigger
Alexander Ross
>It isn't OP's responsibility >>wanted to be my gf. I said sure >>Problem is >>So this continues for a few weeks and I reciprocate stuff she says >>starting to get tiring >>I don't feel that strongly towards her
how the rest of your post then goes on to focus on personal accountability is straight up baffling
Cameron Ross
It really isn't. OP said he's the only reason she hasn't made any attempts on her own life. I'm referring to that. I was simply stating that if she did kill herself because OP left, he is not responsible.
It's straight up baffling how you didn't get that.
Dylan Walker
No it isn't. You can pretend to be whoever you want online, you have time to construct your answers and be the person you want to be. Your natural flaws, insecurities, etc, all come out when you meet somebody in the flesh.
I'm not saying you cannot experience infatuation, but only in the same way you can fall in love with a movie star or singer. You fall in love with the idea of them, and the only time you can truly know if you're compatible is when you meet face to face.
LDR trick people into developing very serious feelings based on fantasy. It blinds them to potential closer, more likely to succeed relationships and costs a lot of time and money. They're not healthy in the vast majority of cases. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but don't pretend they're fruitful and fantastic because they're usually not.
Noah Phillips
I'm with this guy which countries? I mean legally you are fine if she offs herself. Chemicals are most likely her depression problem too.
This falling for someone you have not even met is psychotic. I saw some crazy shit like this recently in real life too. it is insane. looks like the young people these days have no idea of self.
Maybe she just wants to be your basement fuck toy. If you have the money to support this. maybe you could
But if you want a healthy sane relationship - get out from her
Chase Bell
I don't want to be responsible for someone's death regardless of whether I'm legally help accountable. Unfortunately I don't have the money to support that kind of thing.
Kayden Cox
been in a similar situation
break it off, she won't off herself unless she already was going to. in either case, its not your fault. you dont have to be an emotional tampon for someone youve never met in real life and only known a few weeks.
Brody Edwards
your referring to assumptions of your own based on the details provided rather than to the details themselves is why you're having trouble getting across what you meant with clarity. in either case OP played an active role in contributing to the situation. he understands this. meanwhile you see fit to overlook it. people are responsible for their own actions. people have a great deal of influence over one another. this should not need to be explained to someone who's advising others on delicate matters.
Noah Russell
So what you are literally implying. That if a sad guy like OP thinks "hey let's give it a go" and realizes it was a bad idea because he didn't realize how batshit this chick really is and how she'd rather needs a psychiatrist than a boyfriend, you want to blame everything on that guy and force him to babysit a girl that will literally drag him down on the same level?
You sound like a dumb women
Bentley Torres
you've been e-dating or whatever for a couple months max. she's not going to top herself. chances she'd even try are decently slim. tell her you're worried about her because she needs more emotional support than you're able to offer. stress that it's both due to the distance and due to it being too much pressure to put on any one person and that you want her to work something out to that effect. word it however it'll go over best. she'll likely tell you she has no one else and you're all she's got and etc etc. tell her you understand that but that this is important and reiterate again all the shit you just got done telling her. don't back down. be firm and don't back down. taper off communication gradually after that so as to encourage this actually happening. once she's not so completely and solely dependent on you emotionally (talking like a week or two, don't let it drag out) it's up to you where you want to go from there. if you choose to end things with her she'll be in a better place to handle it then.
Christian Thompson
>So what you are literally implying...? no
Nolan Wright
and most countries have support systems for those in dire emotional need, accept maybe the third world
