How do you make friends, I had a breakup with my boyfriend a month ago...

How do you make friends, I had a breakup with my boyfriend a month ago, and he was the only person in my life who gave a shit about me. I tried messaging people I knew in highschool and nobody really gave a shit, I had to drag the conversation on and nobody has bothered messaging me on their own. I've gotten fired from the last two jobs I've had because I'm a ADD retard, so coworkers are out too, I have no human contact outside of a family thats disappointed in me.

How do people do it, is it too much to ask to have a couple people to just shoot the shit with. I have literally nothing in my life, I could die right now and nobody besides family would attend my funeral.

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How old are you, OP? It gets worse. Nobody knows you when you're down and out. Better get a job.

I'll be your friend OP. Serious.

Op dont message people trying to make friends. Humans are social creatures. You are essentially trying to create an emotional connection with text. People need a face to see. You can invite people through text, but trying to drag a coversation is pointless.

Can you try going to meetups around your area? You may have to attend a few before people warm up to you.

(sigh) probably 18 fresh outta high school, doesn't know you don't need friends to be happy. blahblahblah.

Unfortunately, unironically this.
I am in a LDR with someone, who is a pretty decent girl, although she has her periods of self deprecation that... well, I won't get into that.
When things are good, it's easy to continue. But when things aren't, an IRL relationship would have you be able to, i don't know, sit in the same room and not talk but still "be together".
Then again when this one fails I'll have fucked up 1 IRL and 1 LDR so what do I know.

Humans are social animals. Try as hard as you care to deny it, they're still happier with connection. That being said, you could always get a pet, OP.

I'm almost 23

I'm sorry but I have people I do shit with online (that I appreciate a lot) but I need people to actually do stuff in real life here and there. I've had no real life friends mostly my entire life.

Meetups for what? I have no hobbies unless you count videogames and drinking a hobby. I lose interest in everything I try.

I have a cat. Only thing in my life that actually wants to be around me.

...
what is a relationship with someone at this point?
are friends just people to talk to? or are they people whom you, interact with, on the physical plane? this whole site is the equivalent of talking at a bar, but without the drinking. only difference is we can't take it any further because, we're thousands of miles apart, but it's the only place we know because the entire world is full of normies. are we fucked for life? I need to pray on this...meditate or something. my entire block is a group of spics and old people, and my next door neighbor I just sort of loathe.I can't relate on the physical plane anymore, everyone's too fake, it's unreal/

Find people with the same interests as you

I remember the first day of high school I just made instant friends with a bunch of kids who played MtG every lunch, and it turned out we had other common interests, like making music. Loudest bunch around, but we are good friends to the point of actually helping each other out economically and still meeting up to this day.

I'm a socially retarded autist too, but you should know that there are people out there who will make the first move when it comes to friendship, people who genuinely want to bring enjoyment to others, this is a hard concept to grasp, but such people do exist.

Not op but I envy you user. I wish I found somethinf like that.

If you're 23 you're still young OP and can change the course of your life just don't sit on it for too long like I did or it will bite you in the a$$ in the future. Try to keep your next job for at least half a year otherwise nobody will take you seriously later on. Getting friends isn't easy, I know, I've been there. When I was out of my uni to sort out my priorities and plan out my path properly it wasn't until I started working that I started talking to more people and even then it wasn't easy. Best advice just don't try to sound desperate because it can creep people out. I'm pretty shy myself and even I freak out when people standing next to me randomly ask me how the weather is without looking at me. I know that guy was trying to make friends because his friend next to him quietly asked "what the hell was that, is that how you talk?" It was something I wouldn't do myself OP, I think you get the picture.

You'll get the hang of it eventually just have a little patience and get out more, things will get better.

Why were you fired? Did the bf dump you? Why do you say the cat is the only thing that likes you? If there's an issue you can pinpoint or admit that might be shooing away others then you can try and work on it.

Breakups suck for everyone especially if you had no other friends, all that interaction is suddenly gone. Messaging high school buddies is very hit or miss, they could be very busy or simply not interested or in the mood. Perhaps the right attitude is to message people and not expect them to shower you in replies and friendship, just wish them well, if there's any hobby they have that you can start a conversation then mention it. Not everyone can be a BFF at any given moment - don't take any lack of responses personally and if someone does give you the time and willingness to meet irl to waste time then great.

The only place I can think of with people that have remotely the same interests as me is the local anime con, and thats only once a year, and I've met nobody there the last two times I went.

I dont think I sound desperate, I can handle conversation fine. Its nobody ever invites me to do anything. At best I'm a passing acquaintance to everyone I meet.

I was fired because I was a shitty employee who cant do anything right that has ADD. I'm getting medication for it now but I dont feel any different.
My bf didnt dump me, I ended it because I stopped feeling interested in the relationship and needed to move back home because I have literally no money. He wants nothing to do with me anymore because of residual feelings which I understand.
I say my cat is the only thing that likes me because its true. When I left my parents house for 8 months to live with my bf, her behavior changed, and changed back when I came back.
>don't take any lack of responses personally and if someone does give you the time and willingness to meet irl to waste time then great.
I would think the couple people I spent two years worth of classes with would want to meet again or something. But I guess I placed far too much value on them than they put on me. It just goes with what I said earlier, nobody really gives a shit about me at all, I'm a passing acquaintance.

>I have no hobbies unless you count videogames and drinking a hobby. I lose interest in everything I try.
You are shit friend material, I'm not surprised people don't care to get close with you.

damn that sounds really nice

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Similar situation in the sense that my college term Is ending and I'm going to be alone again for the next handful of months.

I have college friends, but we're only friends in class. I'm not sure if we've even connected enough to get eachothers numbers and shit.

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There's nothing else to even do where I live though. You think going to watch movies alone or something will somehow get me friends?

Not him, but playing video games isn't a hobby. Same way listening to the radio isn't a hobby, same way watching CNN isn't a hobby.

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I don't care if a hobby or not, I'm just saying I have nothing else to do. Hobbies are all just things you do alone anyway

>Hobbies are all just things you do alone anyway
Might wanna look up the definition again

Try church, if it seems like something you could do.

I meant hobbies are generally done alone, not with other people
Not religious at all, wouldn't be a good experience.

Sports are good. Stuff like golf, tennis, hell I even knew a fat ugly bastard who got into folk dancing when I was in university. He started dating a doctor and eventually married her.

I've seen sports work for lots of people. Surfing, tennis, poker, softball, bowling. This kind of stuff seems dorky to some people, but it's a way to meet people, have fun, and associate with a group.

Unironically gonna ask if you're cute or not

I don't follow, it depends when you play video games you're just entertaining yourself but this can be considered a hobby. It might not be an interesting hobby to many compared to say taking apart and learning about electronics but it's a hobby nonetheless.

A passing acquaintance huh? Sounds like the kind of life I had, even today I don't have friends but I'm pretty sure I don't have ADD.

In my case, the reason I never had friends was because up until high school my parents didn't let me get out much. I had some traumas that prevented me from connecting with anyone from high school so I didn't have any friends. When I left high school I wanted to start working but my parents interfered again and told me to go to school. Things didn't go well and I'm trying to get a job as of now before I go back but quite a few years have already passed. I have faced depression during the time I left school and looked for a job.

OP, what's your Discord? I am always up to talking with people and main friends.

Assuming you don't live in a backwater region, you could pick up a hobby with a group component, like traditional games, joining a book club, go to the gym at a regular schedule, or whatever else. I'm sure a guy like you will be able to talk with the regulars until you become one yourself.

I've got no hand-eye coordination and my eyesight is shit, I can't really play really physical sports like soccer. I've always wanted to try surfing or snowboarding but there's no way to do that in the midwest.

I guess. I'm a babyface. My now-ex thought I was and when I cosplayed people really liked it.

Yeah my parents forced me to go to college too. I ended up failing a ton of classes and taking 3 years to get a 2 year degree, which is completely worthless, nobody gives a shit if I have a degree or not. And I met absolutely nobody during all of that, shit experience.

Unless youre in the midwest and like going to cons and shit I don't really see the point. I have people I talk to online all the time, I feel like I'm going fucking insane though not having anyone to talk to or do anything with in person though

Any other ideas, I was never able to get into dnd, don't read books and just run outside for exercise since I have no money.

>I could die right now and nobody besides family would attend my funeral

>I have literally nothing in my life

you sound like you could use some Therapy or a Counselor, op. They'd probably be able to help you out.

Other than that, I'll always shill exercise and new hobbies. Good way to meet people, and should improve your overall mood.

>you sound like you could use some Therapy or a Counselor, op. They'd probably be able to help you out.

Why's that. The statement is just being honest, I have literally 0 friends. also therapists are expensive and I really don't have money for it so at the moment medication and bitching online is all I can do

You’re literally just making up excuses, you don’t want to get out of the rut you’re in. Please come back when you do though

Very eloquent written. Read up on social interaction books like "how to win friends and influence people" to help un-sperg yourself. Do something about that ADD too

I'll be your friend, OP

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Only thin you can do is put yourself out there really...

I’ve got a friend who’s been having similar problems ever since she moced back home and broke up with her boyfriend (who’s my childhood best friend... and who kind of fucked her over).

I always feel really fucking bad for her because I think she’s amazing, and beautiful, and one of the sweeest people I’ve ever know (my girlfriend participate fell in love with her first time she met her)... but her personality is also flawed in such a way that her insecurity makes it so she ends up running with the wrong crowd (she desperately needs people, but I think some part of her thinks she doesn’t deserve them so she low key puts herself in bad situations) ... and everyone who cares about her (outside her family) lives half a thousand miles away so there’s not much we can do.

Anyway, as someone who grew up socially anxious as fuck and overcame it, best way to make new friends is just to put yourself out there and talk to people. Maybe only 1 out of 100 will be on friendly terms, and maybe only 1 out of 100 of *those* will turn out to be people you can be friends with... but that’s still more than 0 right?

hook me up with your friend

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Women dont have friends when they are in a relationship. Men dont talk to them because of his bf, while other women dont want to be meddling (because of that bf/gf stealing thing). So you pretty much are in a normal situation. Just upload some photos in front of a mirror on social media or in a slutty clothes and youll see how everybody starts talking to you.

Depends. You a loser/have mental issues/have motivation issues/are a low key addict of some sort/mentally unstable?

>Unless youre in the midwest and like going to cons and shit I don't really see the point. I have people I talk to online all the time, I feel like I'm going fucking insane though not having anyone to talk to or do anything with in person though

Wow OP. You're so hostile. I do live in the Midwest and I do go to conventions. I just want to be friends OP. >:(

how so

please be in kansas

I just don't know where though, it's not like I'm in college and can go to a club. Really, what's there actually to do around a suburb. People leave their house here if its to go somewhere if they already have a group going there. The only places I can think where I can just start a conversation out of nowhere is a bar (the people at one are probably not the type for me and drinks are overpriced) or a con which is only once a year. What's there to "put myself out there" in?

I'm a guy though my dude

uwu okay you're my new best friend

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>You a loser
yes
>have mental issues
yes
>have motivation issues
yes
>are a low key addict of some sort
yes
>mentally unstable?
yes

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bump

Damn you live all the way there? That's quite a distance from where I am OP. I didn't think they would even have animu conventions there.

Skateboarding can be done anywhere in the world, and has a huge following with large communities in just about every population center with a name.

I can kind of relate.

I've always had troubles engaging with others. It started from a young age, and I just never really got into the groove of it all. Through a series of events, the beginning of my relationship was more or less the death of the only friends I had.

Connecting with people online seems impossible. Everybody's put up these walls, and nobody is willing to invest any amount of effort into getting to know somebody online in any non-romantic capacity.

You can't even spend time with people in person because everybody just lives on their phones now.

If I were to sincerely try, I suppose I'd try connecting with others through a hobby. Something like a local cycling club, or whatever the case. Hobbies can be a good way to bring people together and encourage interaction.

Yeah, its pretty low key but fun to go to when it does happen.

stop watching anime and make some fucking friends. youre literally doing this to yourself.

its good you had optimism for your relationship, but having NO LIFE and NO FRIENDS BESIDES YOUR BOYFRIEND may he enough to destroy a relationship in itself

stop whining and sort your shit out. if you want help, ask for specific help from someone who can do it. don’t just baw uselessly.

Do you have living parents? Any family at all? Do they love you, and let you live with them? If so, don't say you have literally nothing. I'd do anything for my mom to be alive again.