How do I fake being Jewish?

I want to infiltrate their secret society, steal back the media, and make alot of shekels

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You dont fake being jewish u simply convert to judaism do it now you wont regret it

im jewish and i still can't do it, you have to be born into the right jewish families, or prove yourself useful somehow

>How do I fake being Jewish?

It is pretty easy, actually. Just act confident around kikes. You do not have to be a practicing Jew to be accepted into their nepotistic circles. Most Jews are in fact atheists. It is enough that you make it seem as if you have Jewish roots.

Back in college I got a part-time job at a law firm which I later found out to have only gotten due to my Slav last name. They assumed I was a Jew or had diaspora ancestry. So I just went along with it and they treated me much better than all the other goyim working for them, sharing inside jokes and such.

They are also some of the nastiest most two-faced rats I had the displeasure of being around.

I stumbled into this.
>have Jewish sounding last name (it's German)
>from NYC so I sound like a jew and know their lingo and mannerisms
>be of Italian and German heritage giving me a vaguely Jewish apperance
>get entry level job at a hospital for a large NYC metropolitan healthcare network
>keep getting attention from the higher ups, they feel me out, I play along
>quickly find myself promoted and making almost 250k/yr.because it was assumed I'm a.chosen

Pretty comfy. Just pay attention to the jew holidays. Almost blew my cover due to that.

>things that never happened

I have got a jewish last name that doesnt exist anymore hardly post-ww2 (Portuguese jewish who emigrated to holland and changed the spelling) and jews ive met have thought i was lying about jewish ancestry. I am tall and blue eyed. Ah well, dont care at all.

>They are also some of the nastiest most two-faced rats I had the displeasure of being around.

Elaborate for me.

Watch seinfeld for 10,000 hours

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Fuck, I want to do this.

Jews are a lot like greeks with higher IQ. I live in a city with a high population of both and honestly the only difference i can see is that the jews have better neighbourhoods. Jewish women are loud and rough (Just like greeks) who run thr household. Greek men are a little more alpha than Jew men, although not much.

Nah that's pretty much how it is man. Being a secular jew is basically like being in the best business fraternity of all time.

Maybe not 250k starting levels of easy-street but they pretty much instantly hire each other for jobs in finance and law.

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study up on sophistry and loophole seeking.

>I want to infiltrate their secret society, steal back the media, and make alot of shekels
You won't fool any of them because you know jack shit about Judaism. Even if you did, you wouldn't steal the media cause they don't have them. Even if they did, you wouldn't make a lot of shekels because Jews aren't that rich.

Heres a list that I know of at least

>"Whens the last time you have been to temples?"
> say that you haven't gone to temple in three years.
>Learn some yiddish, irrationally hate communists and fascists, dislike evangelical christians yet recognize who they support, dislike pretty much everybody that isnt a jew.

Thats basically what happens.

Practice this pose in the mirror

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>thinking goys can actually convert and aren't just larping shabbos goys who the übermensch Ashkenazis can laugh at

I have a Polish Ashkenazic surname, I look nothing like a Jew but get assumed to be Jewish all the time solely based on my surname

>Go a synagogue
>say you move here few years ago
>say you are jewish, but have no clue because your parents are atheists
There are many non religous jews, and many kids have no idea about the religion. The synagoges have to reeducate many young people.
Yhe issue is often that once the kids got their bat mitswah they are never seen in the synagoge again until they get older, usually around 40-50, till then they have forgotten everything they have learned.

So just walk in there and tell them your parents never visited a synagoge is well enough of a cover story