My boyfriend is showing interest in poly relationships, but i'm very against it...

>poly_relationships

he dont like u no more

>The other person I've known only a short time(half a year) but she seems like a missing piece of my life
Why can't she just be your friend? Honestly dude you're just being selfish, and destroying your relationship with the girl you intend to marry, probably breaking her heart in the process.

Sometimes life is not all about "much happiness," but figuring out your priorities, making decisions, making sacrifices for the sake of the people you really care about

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have you thought about why you are against it? Often times things can manifest in one place that are really about something else-- this could also apply to your BF's interest in poly relationships.

the fact that he's talking openly to you about his potential interests is positive. you should talk to him more about it

t. married, long term monogamist

also, for context:
your ages and how long you've been together
any kids? live together?

Very much still in the figuring this out stage. My girlfriend (soon to wife) is also a poly person so we're trying to make sure we're in a groove where the other person is no threat to the relationship

On the just being friends thing my only comment is me and the other girl are very much attracted to the other in a non physical sense where we want to be more then friends and such, but they are more then accepting that they can't get between me and my wife

The two people are both bisexuals so we're all hoping as they know each other better it will click in a way that me and my wife will be there romantically to make them happy in life and such while still being perfect for the other

As I said. In the figuring out stage and we have no clue if anything is truly going to happen. My advice I was offering is that more people is more things to balance so they'd need to be prepared for it and their partner would need to understand that if they can't give both people the attention they deserve then it's not gonna work

It's too late. I've been in your position before. If you say no, he is just going to end up cheating. If you won't give him what he wants he'll go get it himself.

*heresey

Purge the degenerates.

This. I had a similar situation with my bf when he showed interest in another girl and asked about it. I was a dumbass and said yes out of fear of losing him only to quickly change my mind and dump my true feelings on him. He hasn’t expressed interest in it since.

OP I'm in a strikingly similar situation. I've been with my BF for almost 7 years. A couple years ago he started talking about polyamory, and when I voiced my concerns about it he elected to buy a bunch of pro-poly books and has been trying to convince me to read them. Whenever I pick them up, I get about 10 pages in before I start crying. I told him it makes me feel like I'm not enough for him, like I'm just a piece of collectible meat, like I can't satisfy him so he seeks out other women. He assured me it wasn't that, that he just isn't a monogamy type of guy. We were working through it, slowly.

Then I found out he had a crush on one of the girls in our friend group. Now their every interaction brings my blood to a boil. It feels like betrayal. I feel like theres nothing I can do to stop him from inevitably cheating on me or leaving me for another girl entirely. I wanted to marry him, but I never wanted to share him.

I have no answers for you. I'm sorry. I've taken to drinking shots of hard alcohol and smoking weed to dull my feelings. Maybe some day I'll finish that book and change my mind, but so far it just feels like every day is suffering. I hope you find a good solution to your situation. I am still searching for mine.

Sorry to hear about this user. Honestly, I'm not sure if this helps at all but your relationship sounds dysfunctional as fuck and very unhealthy.

No relationship should make you turn to alcohol to cope. You shouldn't force yourself to "change your mind" about polyamory, it's the kind of thing that you're either into or not. Most people are posessive and jealous by nature, it's completely normal to want the person you love only for yourself. I'm convinced you care about him, but believe me when I say this doesn't have a future and will only bring you even more heartache in the long run. Cut your losses before you ruin your self-worth completely.

>probably wouldn't try it
Fucking L O L
My girlfriend and I aren't even on THAT level. The idea of poly sickens us both and we've made it abundantly clear, not only that but the whole point of the relationship is to keep the other to ourselves, basically. We wanted and worked for the other, we'll keep the other.

Polyamorous relationships are just cheating where the affected party signs a waiver. Nothing more, nothing less. At best, they're 5-year trysts that people do their best to forget afterward and at worst, they're relationships only some dumbass fucking retard decided "MORE HUMANS" is a good idea fucking EVER and added MORE HUMANS to a relationship.
So, TWICE the drama! And NOW you might even face off against TWO points instead of ONE!
Wow! Polyamory sounds so fucking good! I can't wait to have two girls bitch at me about how I should pick one.

Everyone who justifies polyamory strikes me as jealous jews who can't stomach the fact that some of us can pick what we want and keep it. They always come out with this "I COULD BREAK DOWN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TEHE", as if I haven't competed against a ripped, tanned dude and come out on top.

Polyamory is the dumbest fucking thing. I just don't understand people who are into it.
Also your relationship's over. He's gonna keep pushing the point until he cheats and tries to 'well, it was already wet when I got here so let's just leave it as water under the bridge and be poly' since all polyamorists are scum without an ounce of respect anywhere in their body, not for people, not for boundaries, not for mores.

Thank you all very much for your advice.
We're both relatively 'broken' as per say, and although we're quite young (19-22) I feel like he's the person that allows me to cope in everyday life, and I definitely see that aspect as a mutual aspect as well. I'm scared that the person I love is at the point of wanting more and leaving, and in return I worry myself to sleep.

I'm sorry to hear this ;w;
Hopefully this thread will have the right advice for you. I hope it works out user.

Hi user, thanks for your advice.
Let me elaborate when I say "showing interest", I basically meant that it's been brought up once, and lightly touched on twice. Both were just small references, no direct questions or statements about our relationship. It's a male/male relationship, and he's bisexual, so I can understand the need for him at points. However at the moment I think I'm overreacting, I've voiced my strong dislike for non-monogamy to him before and he supported my ideas. I just need some time to think it over and have a chat with him about it.

Thanks again for your advice user.

Well be careful and jump on signs early but remember, this isn't usually something people tuck to bed and let rest. I might be able to get over my thing for cat ears and cat tails because there's kind of a boundary I can't cross there; but for a guy whose thing is fucking multiple people at once, the reality is constantly in reach if they're already in one relationship. They will, eventually, cave to their desire in all likelihood.

If nothing else use now as a time to open communications and tell him that you can't be bottling these things up and that if he has any such thoughts in the future to bring them up so you two can talk it over.

Despite the fatalistic post I made before, it's only really over when you start getting into a sitch like where the boyfriend refuses to communicate with her about it, it's just a 'you'll accept it eventually.'

Better to get out if the situation gets like that. It'll hurt, but you'll have some dignity and you'll make it easier for the other party to move on to whatever they want to move on to; it really is best for everyone in that scenario.
And sorry to hear your case other user, OP is in some water but you're up shit creek without a paddle. Best of luck and may you find strength ahead.

I feel the same way as you. My boyfriend brought up him possibly being poly when he told me he expressed interest in this other girl but that he wanted to marry me and keep me and have her as a "pet" (I'm this user btw) since then two years have passed and he hasn't spoken or mentioned it, but he would say stuff like how he wanted to have threesomes with us and make us have lesbian sex, it was weird and I almost ended it there. He still wants to marry me when we are ready and even got me a "promise ring" and he's been faithful to me, but sometimes I still think back to the beginning of our relationship and feel insecure. I have no idea if he still feels poly or not since hes never brought it up. I love him more than anything though.

That sound like a very good way to ruin your relationship and your selfsteem.

Boy you westerns are really fucked up.

Wow this fucking thread, and they say women are whores.

OP here,

I put my big boy pants on despite almost having a panic attack and managed to talk it out with him. All is well. Thanks everyone for your advice \o/ I deeply appreciate every one of you trying to help.

Good for you OP
I wish I could say the same about my relationship, it's going well but that point where he wanted a sidechick still hangs in the back of my head

I hope you're able to figure it out user. Nobody deserves to go through that.

I do too. He's a good man, he's done a lot for me, doesn't help that it's long distance too and we only see each other in person a few weeks a year. Maybe as I keep dating him it'll just fade away and only be a distant memory and we'll look back at it when we have kids and laugh at how dumb he was being.

at least we can meme without being taxed

He is probably already cheating.
I was the guy in your situation. When my girlfriend denied the idea i just pretended i was fine with it and cheated behind her back.
I cheated on her with like 3 different girls before i broke it off because she started getting suspicious.

He'd never cheat on me. He gave me an oath to remain faithful to me, he spent hundreds of dollars to fly to me when he could've just gotten a quick and cheaper fuck in his own country.

Also on a side note you are a piece of shit.

You're fucked up man, how can you do that to someone?

In not from Europe.... Damn that American education

You think i would request a poly thing if i cared about her.
She was nothing but a piece of meat from the beginning. I just strung her along and it was that simple.
to be fair she should have saw it coming when i asked for us to have an open relationship several times, her fault for denying it.

*tips fedora*

My partner and I are in a sorta similar situation. We've been together for 5+ years and never had any cheating/trust issues. We're super open, so we tell each other if we get crushes on people, etc. There's rarely any insecurity/jealousy issues because we're logical humans and we know that we're gonna be attracted to other people sometimes.

That said, we've never acted on it.

I've never really taken notice of polyamory/thruples/anything out of the 'norm.' My partner is bi, but we're pretty vanilla, really.

But recently, an old friend from our past came back into our life, and it was pretty clear we were both crushing on him hard. There's this weird sexual chemistry between all three of us and there's been quite a lot of flirting/touching, but it's never gone past anything that's socially acceptable. It's quite clear there's a pretty strong emotional connection there too.

But ... we kinda want it to. And if we're reading the room right, so does our friend (maybe?? I dunno). We've not made a move or anything, but obviously we've been talking about it a lot. It's something we both never thought we'd be interested in EVER, but hey, here we are.

That being said, nothing is ever gonna work if you're not on the same page as your partner. So, you're not gonna level up here. There's no moving forward. He wants it - you don't. End of story.

You're a piece of shit.

As someone who is poly, my advice is still that the life style sucks but it's how I was born, don't do it if it's not you.

Polyamory has to be one of the most morally reprehensible behaviors growing in society. It's so disgusting that it's hard to even hear out people who advocate for it, my only hope is that people like this don't reproduce.

Isn't that basically cucking/NTR?

Polyamory? Not necessarily, it's just as bad though.

Don’t allow it.

>I've been with my BF for almost 7 years. A couple years ago he started talking about polyamory
Holy fuck, are there any red flags/warning signs for this? I can't imagine being with someone for 5 years, falling in love with them, and then them bringing up being with other people. It's one thing if it happens a couple months in, you can just drop them and leave. But dropping that bomb after 5 years, that is truly awful.

get the book he most wants you to read. flip through it a page at a time bending each one back while you watch youtube or something. make it look as if you've been reading it. start leaving it around. bathroom, coffee table, wherever. when he asks if you're finally coming around on it tell him you'll let him know when you've come to a decision and to stop bringing it up until then. say i'll tell you when i'm ready to tell you; don't ask me again. if he is excited by what appears to be happening, tell him his excitement is disgusting and painful and makes you want to burn every one of the awful books. keep this up for as long as you feel like dragging it out. when you decide to be done thinking it over, inform him that you've decided upon the conditions by which you'll be willing to accept a transition into a polymemeory """relationship""" and he can take it or leave it because it's the only offer you're prepared to make.

you will be who he is legally wed to and he will get a vasectomy. no new partners will be taken on unless separate living quarters have been arranged ahead of time. that's the preliminary stuff. as for actually taking on new partners, you get full veto power at any time for any reason on any issue. no flings; serious long-term family minded women only. no ongoing romantic relationships with other men will be established by any party. you will accompany him to all public functions. additional women can come stay at your house with you and he sometimes but separate accommodations will be furnished for each woman and whatever children she bears. their kids never set foot in your home. your kids never know his other families exist. he gets 2 nights per woman per month to spend at theirs and sleeps at home with you the rest of the time. tell him those are your terms.

for

>the absolute state of western degeneracy
Might as well become Muslims if you actually advocate for this horseshit.

Better lay off the cake and hit the gym.
He is telling you that your ass is flabby and your waist is too big and your cheeks are chubby.

>my boyfriend is a cuckold

WEEW, imagine my shock. It's almost liek we have 2018 or somethin.

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>poly relationships
The fact that you even use retarded terms like this shows that your whole situation is going towards failure.

CURRENT YEAR DATING: Everyone has to be a degenerate and if you don't accept it you are a bigot >:(