How do I tell a girl that's madly in love with me to lose weight and shower every day...

Convince her to jog together an have an honest talk about hygiene. Be honest without being a jerk.

>I really liked you and I can see a future together but I would like for you to do X and Y, I know I may sound shallow but it is a big deal with me. I'm sorry

I girl I liked once told me pretty much that and you know what I did? I changed because it was really easy things to do and at the end of the day it made me a better /more desirable person.

hey this is a great post, thanks
maybe I should also ask her if there's anything she wants from me? so I don't sound selfish

>Asking someone to change so they get the privilege to suck your cock

OP, you're dumb. Either date her as she is and get over her flaws, or leave her alone. It's unfair to ask someone to change in order to date you, even if those changes are easy/positive ones.

will you do it if there's anything she wants from you? if you are willing to at least try, then yes.

you didn't really answer WHY. I don't buy that "dude just accept me lol", humans aren't like that. we have standards, we compromise, and we demand

well yes, as long as it isn't on a bigger scale than what I'm asking of her

How can she love you, but you're not dating?

then i think that's okay, user. try to be kind to her though, don't just call her a whale lmao

because we've been a little on and off, and things escalated but I didn't want to commit
I know she does because she told me and refused to move on

kek, I won't. she's way too sweet for that
thanks btw

np, i hope you both end up really happy together

hey that's really nice
jesus this post actually made me paranoid. are you american or yuropoor? also could you post your initials?

Attached: 1324497404001.jpg (424x366, 25K)

For showering, make it out to be a personal issue. Say you have a highly sensitive nose and love the smell of her straight out of the shower.

As for the weight loss, unless she's actually obese and you can go for the health argument, just take her or leave her as is. Losing weight is hard if you're not motivated by personal conviction that it has to be done, and even if she readily agrees and does it she needs to be exceptionally mature and confident to not feel like shit realizing you hate her current body enough to awkwardly request she does something about it already.

It's perfectly fair to have standards, it's unfair to demand someone to change themselves in order to fit your own subjective standards.
You're manipulating her into changing herself just because she likes you, it is very selfish. If she wanted to change (for example if she expressed herself that she disliked her body or she wanted to be less lazy) it'd be reasonable to support her in her changes, if you were together for a long time and you compromised on something in order to fix your relationship it'd be reasonable, but telling her "you either change or I'm never going to date you, you're not good enough for me" is a pretty toxic behaviour.

Also - people don't change unless they have some inner, true motivation to do so. If she changes to meet your standards, she's not going to stay the way you want her to be.

>jesus this post actually made me paranoid
Don't be, like you said above; you're not actually dating her. Also, my post contained a lot of specific things that he's done with me - I think you'd know for sure if you were him ;)

>You're manipulating her
oh come the fuck on. I even posted a few posts above that I'm willing to do something to please her too. we obviously have very different views on change, and I don't respect your opinions, sorry
also, I asked HOW I should tell her, not IF
>toxic
just fuck off

I would agree with you but we are talking about hygiene and health issues that we can all agree are positive changes. Is not like he's going to ask her to be a different person.

>people don't change unless they have some inner, true motivation to do so

Perhaps the words coming from a person she really likes and cares about is the wake up call she needs?

oh ok, I thought those were just suggestions and actually not what you guys have done
thanks again

Just remember if she does that for you, she'll likely be out of your league and get all kinds of attention from chads.

The picture OP posted is hardly of a woman about to contract diabetes. A little bit of fat actually serves a purpose, it's not for nothing that humans store fat to begin with.

Sure most people that are fat are unhealthy (or at a high risk for becoming unhealthy) because they're significantly overweight. That's not the same thing as being a bit skinnyfat.

Still, it's hypocritical to play the health card when the issue is clearly that she doesn't have OP's preferred bodytype. And if she lives an average life for a young person and e.g. drinks alcohol regularly, it will be especially obvious that he's just hiding behind health arguments because he doesn't like the look. This is a bad idea.

>I'm willing to do something to please her too.
She is obviously willing to accept you just as you are, you're the only one who comes with terms and conditions.
It hardly matters that you offer her to change something about yourself too, when she is okay with you as you are and you're not okay with her as she is.

You're still manipulating her and demanding someone to change is a pretty toxic behaviour, whether you like it or not.

I'm not saying the changes wouldn't be positive, I'm saying that it's not OP's place to demand those changes.

>Perhaps the words coming from a person she really likes and cares about is the wake up call she needs?
It will most likely just make her feel really self conscious and hate herself.

like I said, I really don't give a shit about your opinions. call me toxic and manipulating all you like, that's not what this thread is about

But then why are there plenty of slim, skinny, and fit girls? If OP can date an aesthetically pleasing girl, who DOESN'T carry """"essential"""" body fat, why would he want to go for a fattie?

I'm not going to pretend it's causing health issues, because it isn't. I'm just talking about getting in shape, the both of us

Not that user but you are asking for advice. Wanting people to weigh in with their thoughts but only in the way you have in mind isn't a thing.

I kind of agree with that user. Mind you, I don't think it's necessarily toxic, but you are so focused on whether or not you're right or whether or not your request is technically acceptable. Whereas imo being realistic, the chance that she goes "huh, okay user, thanks for being honest and can you support me to lose weight?" is much less likely than that she's going to feel insecure, defensive, blindsided by your negative opinion on her figure and level of hygiene, and that it's going to create drama rather than actually get her into a 2.0 version of herself.

You are not wrong to prefer a fit girl over one with extra pudge, that's your taste, it is more commendable for her as well, it's a preference you share with maybe 90% of men. You are not wrong to want a girl who showers every day, which is something most people do and expect. But both the idea of being unclean and of being fat are incredibly stigmatized and you shouldn't expect her to take it like that isn't the case. And yeah you are essentially telling her that she's not good enough for you right now, if you're her dream partner exactly as you are then that's going to sting.

I get where you're coming from, I really do. I'm just saying that I'm strongly disagreeing with you, and I'm not going to use his/your advice
that's all

>But then why are there plenty of slim, skinny, and fit girls?
Both because our beauty standards don't 100% align with what's most healthy, and because for most people it is a lot easier to be outright slim or outright chubby/fat than to precariously balance in "normal weight with just enough fat to serve as a reserve and no more". Especially in a culture where sweet, fattening food is incredibly cheap and everywhere around us all day every day.
But if you strictly look at health, being fit (in the sense of having a good condition, moving regularly) and at the upper end of a healthy BMI is best. Not being as slender as e.g. celebrities are.

>"""essential""""
This is your interpretation. Just because it serves a purpose doesn't mean it's essential.

>why would he want to
As is clear from the OP, he doesn't, and I'd 100% advise against trying to date this girl. I'm just saying that health is a lame excuse if we're talking about a couple of pounds above being skinny.

Well, okay, I kind of mentioned it earlier but I'd just pass off the daily showers thing as a matter of having a highly sensitive nose that picks up on sweat sooner than others, and for the weight try to get her on board with getting fit together. And really sell it to her as getting fit and not as losing weight, hoping that losing weight will come naturally.

that's the plan, thanks

>couple pounds above being skinny
No offense, but the ppicture OP posted wasn't just a little soft. She looks overweight - not obese, but definitely above a 24 BMI.

Pic related - would you consider this a couple pounds above skinny? And OP - what do you think about this figure?

Attached: indianwomanbody1.jpg (397x640, 30K)

I like that figure. apart from the love handles, but I don't except her to be perfect so whatever

She looks in the lower range of overweight to me, I think she looks heavier because she stores most of her fat in the stomach (look at her slim arms) and has pretty big boobs. Though it's hard to tell with posed pictures like this, I'd need to see her from the side as well.

Yeah pic related looks that way, but again, with just one picture it's hard. She looks like she has a little bit of love handles and stomach fat going on, but it could just be a pair of overly tight jeans pushing things up. First impression would be yes, though.

And yeah the girl he posted could stand to lose ten pounds and I was more talking about an extra five pounds. But it just irks me a little when people try to sell a judgment on sexiness as a judgment on health in that person's own best interests. You bet those spectacular looking fitgirls with the V-shape and the low bodyfat would have a harder time getting pregnant than if they were a bit heavier. The reason a woman's period drops off when she goes below a certain weight is because the body senses it doesn't have the reserves to carry a pregnancy. A little bit of fat is literally that, a reserve that makes it easier to bounce back from getting sick, which is also why older people live longer with a little bit of excess weight than if they are perfectly slim.

Even disregarding that, it's more complicated than someone's weight alone. It's about sleep, diet, amount of sunshine and fresh air, even how happy you are and how well you can destress. I'll readily admit this is a sore spot for me because my sister has struggled with ED for 10+ years. There have always been beauty ideals and that's fine. I prefer an ideal of being reasonably slim + fit over the nineties heroin chic look. But acknowledge it for what it is and don't use health when it doesn't apply, that muddies the waters.

A body also isn't exactly static. Pic related is from an Instagram girl (Saggysara) who posts side by side comparisons of her body made on the same day. The difference is as simple as just having worked out + flexing her muscles, or just having eaten + an unflattering pose. (This just relating to it being hard to tell from a single shot just how much weight someone should ideally lose.)

Attached: health-blogger-instagram-real-life-difference-saggysara-9-5979951ee7b10__700.jpg (700x646, 88K)

A couple pounds of shit maybe

I'm Aspie, do you mean she looks like shit or she's skinny? Because she's not skinny user.

Even pic related isn't slim.

Attached: 1532606707677.jpg (1080x1349, 88K)

>even
This woman looks noticeably heavier than the one with the pink bikini top.

Mmmm that's hot though.