Good evening anonymous, I hope you're having a good week so far.
For those of you returning, welcome back to the Lunar threads! Let's pick things up where we left off last time.
As for any of you newcomers, here's a quick rundown:
We're a bunch of anons dedicated towards trying to help other anons become better versions of themselves. Towards this end, we meet here on Jow Forums periodically to discuss any particular issue, hang-ups, difficulty, or struggle life may throw at you. Sometimes it's something relatively trivial and all you might need is to 'get-it-off-your-chest'. Other times, it might take some more strategizing. In either case, regular check-ins are important to gauge progress; hence the periodic nature of these threads.
So, that being said, if you feel you can benefit from these kinds of threads or simply wish to serve as good company, join in on the conversation! You're always welcomed here.
i have some time to spare. i'll resume my observations.
Angel Ortiz
My family has been emotionally abusive to me in the past. Now that I've moved out, I've decided to cut contact with them.
The problem is, I've been really depressed and suicidal lately and they have been constantly sending me texts begging me to talk to them. I don't want anything to do with them, but at the same time, I'm really lonely and could use someone to talk to ;_;
And good evening to all you Anons. Why don't you come and join us for a while?
Samuel Richardson
I saw the Seris build you sent me. I wouldn't recommend it because you've thrown a lot of points in the card that reduces the cool down on Rend Soul. That should only be used if you're going for an Agony Seris or offensive Seris build.
Which you shouldn't, because they don't do as well. Stick to SpammySeris and spam those heals! I think it also bears mentioning that you can heal through walls, but you DO need to establish line of sight to pick your target. Once you're locked-on and healing though, take cover.
My intuition tells me that you should listen to *your* intuition and remain out-of-contact with your family. But for the sake of thoroughness, could you tell me why you think your family was/is emotionally abusive?
Evening.
Xavier Nguyen
Can you interact with anyone besides your senpai? Anyone at all? On discord, here, the local market?
James Jones
Mm. Knowing how it goes from experience, they'll be begging you to come back, that they're sorry.
But with people like that, they'll be sorry for a bit, and go back to doing the damage they normally do.
They spent my childhood neglecting me because they didn't want to spend money on a doctor even when it was obvious that I had severe mental issues. Then in my teens they mocked me behind my back constantly for having anxiety issues and would lie to me when I confronted them about it. Last year my mother was yelling at me telling me she didn't want to ever spend time with me again and yet now she's trying to talk to me now.
I have a discord but people on there just ignore me constantly. I don't have any friends.
Ethan Howard
First thing to do is take a deep breath and relax. I recommend a nice cup of coffee to start with.
I am seeing a psych for the first time on Monday. Is there anything I can expect?
I haven't ever been to therapy and haven't gone to the doctor that much ever, honestly...And I'm 24 (American). I just got my first check up today at a regular physician.
I'm glad that I've reached the point where I feel like I can reach out and take steps to improving myself. I am tired of this depression/biploar/anxiety controlling me. Just wanted to share how excited I am that I may eventually feel better. Even though it may be an arduous process.
I wonder now if my parents were/are truly blind to my condition? It does seem like something that's hard to grasp from the outside.
Cooper Johnson
Evening, Mant.
With very good reason you want to disassociate with them. I wouldn't want to stick around either, were I in your situation.
Discord friends are fine, and it can help, but I'm curious if you have anyone IRL to rely on. They don't necessarily have to be 'close' friends, but close enough that you can hang out with, or go out with.
Isaac Reyes
They haven't apologized for anything. They probably never will. They will always maintain that they did nothing wrong.
They even locked me up for a week once because they thought my depression was just me using drugs...
I'm not really a fan of coffee...
Levi Martinez
clyp.it/14hceuy0 Staying along, with no friends or family at all, of any kind, in total isolation, doesn't seem like a great idea for someone who is suicidally depressed...
Sadly that's rather typical when we are talking about families. What seems to work for me is finding out your comfortable distance from them. You get too close, they hurt you. You get too far, you feel lonely. Maybe contact them once every month? You can always cut contact again if you want. You are the boss now.
About your mental issues, goes without saying that you must see a therapist.
Ian Sullivan
First off, I commend you on getting yourself to see a psych. That's a tremendous first move towards exercising some personal responsibility and taking care of yourself. Even more bold of you to finally recognize that letting your anxiety and depression get the best of you is only holding you back.
As for what to expect? The first meeting can be pretty nerve-wracking, but I promise you that you'll be fine. Likely they'll have you fill out a worksheet, so that the doctor can get a general idea of what ails you. When you finally meet the doctor in-person, just think of it as a conversation; they're there to help you with what's troubling you. Trust in them; their interests are in line with your own.
Unfortunately, mental health issues carry a bit of a stigma, with a portion of the population outright not 'believing' in them.
Daniel Miller
I still have extreme anxiety and I'm also in a new city away from any of my old friends. I don't have anyone. I spend most days counting the minutes until my next therapy appointment.
I know... :( You are completely right. I just don't know what to do.
Juan Diaz
I'm glad you are taking steps in a positive direction! With any mental health evaluation, there's a lot of questions and answers. Be honest and forthcoming. Much of recovery from mental health issues comes from self reporting.
Well... Having been in a similar situation to you, you can expect it to be slow at first. There's intake, and then reviewing your history and such.
It might feel like, nothing's going on for a while. But these things take time. Mm, I'm glad to hear that you're at least getting help now though. Even if, you were neglected medically. I've been there. As for your parents... I'm not sure. I guess it depends on what kind of life they've had.
They, probably never will honestly. As much as it would be nice if they did, it's probably best to not, hold on to that. Mm. Like I said to the user above, I know what you mean.
I don't feel like I am deserving of people's time. I'm trying to build up my self esteem but it's hard. I have no sense of self worth. I'm sorry I just came here to vent a little bit.
clyp.it/htavbojq Well, user, if you don't want to go back to your family and it isn't healthy to do so, why don't we focus on friendships for now...?
Grayson Ramirez
clyp.it/ywbdp3td I could say the exact same things, user. In the end, I think what matters is telling yourself, constantly, that it isn't true. At least acting, like you feel like you have some self-worth.
Logan Foster
You've recently moved. For what purpose, may I ask? Job relocation? Schooling?
Okay, so you have some old friends. Are you keeping in touch through mobile or social media? Why not talk to them every once in a while, to keep in touch and keep your loneliness at bay? But certainly counting down the minutes to your next appointment won't do you any good.
I take it you're the introverted type? If that's the case, I'd recommend you get out every once in a while, doesn't have to be with friends, but alone. Go to a bookstore and browse. Maybe go to your favorite store to treat yourself to some new clothes or just window shop. Sometimes 'being' around people helps, without having to interact with them, understand?
Henry Anderson
hm.. you are worthy, should you need to vent i'll listen.
I'm at the end of my threshold with my current job and put in my resume at other places. I dislike the work, some co-workers, and some of the managers are alright except for this one jerktard. Retail is a special kind of hell. And I feel like resigning any minute there, I'm not one to quit but it's really gone and turned itself to shit.
Robert Foster
I don't even know what I would say to them. We don't even have anything in common, and I think it would give them satisfaction to know that my life has not been going well.
I am already seeing a therapist, and soon a psychologist too.
h-hey you sound exactly like me about 6 weeks ago even if it hasn't helped any yet it at least feels good to be doing something about it
I would like to have friends. I guess the problem is that I have terrible social skills, and social anxiety, so finding someone that can put up with me is really difficult. I also don't really have any interests anymore which makes things even more difficult.
Adrian Murphy
Mm, no need to be sorry. That's why we're here user. That's, something I feel pretty often too. A lot of times, you just need to take a step back, and take a breather. Remember that, that negativity that you tell yourself, isn't so.
Some positive affirmation can go a long way.
Hm... How's it gone to shit? Having been in retail, what you said isn't unfamiliar...
Eli Cruz
I sympathize with you, user. Retail jobs are the worst. Incompetent managers, annoying co-workers, equally or even more annoying customers...
Think of it as you paying your dues, for the time being. Until you gain employment that is actually meaningful to you. But hey, you don't have to like it; get in, do your job to the best of your ability, and earn your pay so that you can sustain yourself.
Joseph Wright
clyp.it/3r3yilzk Well, if we're talking about strategies for making friends, I think developing some hobbies is a must. What's this about your social skills?
Jace Young
Thank you. I think I'll go do something fun for a bit to lift my spirits. Best of luck in the thread tonight.
James Perry
> We don't even have anything in common, and I think it would give them satisfaction to know that my life has not been going well. Who cares about their satisfaction or lack of it? This time it is about what you want. Like it or not, they must be used to hear about your mental problems already, so feel free to use them for venting off. Or not. As someone above said, you could be better off just following your intuition.
Jayden Lopez
I will give you what you already know: Don't quit until you have another job. Retail sucks as a full time gig. So now, that you are currently employed, try something new. Send your resume out to places you think you would like. Gamble a bit. Send it somewhere you think you have no Chance. You have the paycheck coming in. You have nothing to lose by trying.
I have friends but we only talk on voice chat every 2 or three weeks, sometimes longer. I moved here for a job, a job which turned out to be horrible :/
My therapist also suggested that I try to go out alone, but doing so causes me extreme stress and anxiety. She doesn't know what to do either.
I don't know how to develop hobbies. I don't think anybody knows how. I have zero social skills. I can't hold a conversation with anyone more than a few minutes, and everyone thinks I'm awkward to talk to. My therapist says that people can tell that talking to me makes me nervous so they purposefully stay away from me.
Justin Turner
Of course
Jose Williams
I'm being pressured by my Asian dad to go to med school. I don't want that kind of career. I already graduated trade school. No one will hire me. I've volunteered and all I did was get used and hurt my back. I've done all the fucking things I could think of but, nothing is getting me a job. I'm growing more and more suicidal by the day. All these applications and all these rejects from places I applied to. Everything feels more and more hope less.
Lucas Rivera
I suggest you see a doctor for treatment of this stress and anxiety.
This is excellent, excellent advice. Especially not quitting until you have another job lined up. Suck it up until you have a spot with another employer.
Dead-on about taking a risk and getting those resumes out there. Employment is a numbers game, truly.
Question: do you take the initiative in talking to them? If 2-3 weeks is unsatisfactory for you, you should try to push for a little more frequency. For some people, it's the case that they break contact because they only tend to people that make themselves apparent; life gets really busy sometimes, you can probably attest to that.
What have you tried so far, in going out? The first thing I'd try is to venture out someplace quiet, alone. The aforementioned bookstore is a good example. The important thing is that you go out, be in public, and sustain that for a bit of time. Even if it's just taking refuge in a bookstore or even the movies. Exposure is the point, not complete conquest of fear.
Carter Bennett
clyp.it/5nqqhorw Sorry, dear. It seems I have to be going already, but.. Give this a listen. I know it might not be perfect advice or anything, but, I'm sure you can do it.
I've ran into plenty of students that feel the same. Believe me, it's nothing wrong with you, user. The job market out there is tough these days, even for skilled people such as yourself.
My first question to you is have you looked into your school's career center. They can be a tremendous help, since they have ties to companies. Also, don't think it beneath you to have your resume reviewed or revise your interviewing skills.
But you mentioned volunteering; that's in right there. Have you spoken to your supervisor about possible employment opportunities?
Daniel Wood
What are your reasons for rejecting a med career?
I'm not judging you, I'm sincerely curious. As someone raised with little resources, I can't imagine what reasons would lead me to turn down such a nice possibility to get out of your situation.
Brandon Green
My family doesn't think I have "real" mental issues.
I'm already seen a therapist and soon I'll be seeing a psychologist.
I don't really initiate with my friends and neither do they. I don't really ever feel comfortable talking to them either.
I spent all of college being exposed to social situations and it really hasn't gotten any better. I haven't made a single friend in 8 years, and let's not even talk about relationships...
Juan Taylor
Seeing a psychologist is the best thing I see in your post. Because sometimes, you gotta call in the professionals. I finally did. And it turns out I was bipolar. And it's treatable and manageable.
I simply don't want to go. It's too much debt. I simply do not want med as a career.
Jason Jones
Used to come here a few years ago, I guess I had this hangup that I wanted to understand life before I went out into it. Chose this place cause I'm not smart and just absorbed into but didnt do anything with it or hecame invested in advice that didnt have much to do with me. Don't make my mistake. At least "do" something today. That is all
Brandon Scott
>My family doesn't think I have "real" mental issues. So? I was only suggesting you to use them to combat your loneliness, not actually expect them to actively help you. Although what families think may change more often than you imagine after the "black sheep kid" leaves.
Hunter James
There has to be some effort in maintaining friendships. If frequency is unsatisfactory for you, then the onus is on you to change that. These people are your old friends; at some point you all realized you had some common interest. Strike up a conversation about that.
Of course you don't feel comfortable talking to them; you have social anxiety. But couldn't you at least try to manage a ten minute call.
This is going to sound like a stupid, cliche question, but humor me; why do you think that is? Why is it, in your estimation, the case that you haven't been able to make a friend in eight years? Also, what constitutes as a friend, to you?
William Allen
So, hours got axed and overtime is no longer available. Currently a new system have been in place where the managers don't make the schedule, it's all systemize by computer. It's what it is, it's not really something even worth the breathe to complain about but my only compliant is with that one jerktard. So, today, one of the equipment was faulty and weren't working properly and instead of offering a solution gave a rather snarky reply of "Well, if you guys wouldn't abuse the machinery, you wouldn't be in your situation". It's constant too, everyday when he works I steer clear away and consciously avoid him because there's always something he have an attitude about, always. Another day it had rained, downpour. When it stopped there was a few electric carts about outside, nothing I could've done at that time as it rained. The guy had the gall to throw a bitch fit at me that I should've collected them when I had the chance, like, what I am a weather forecaster, rain comes at unexpected times. Keep in mind, I have no problems with a lot of the others and they are cool, but this one jerktard is truly a fucking diva. I clocked in at work at ten a couple days ago because nobody was schedule to come in at seven or eight, first thing that he said "I had to work by myself for two or three hours because nobody came in" and walked off. He's two face too, around the store manager and others, he play it off as cool he'll joke and apologize and bam right back at it. I'm at my wits end with him and the new system. I'm not working in a dead end position only to get devalued. I may sound petty or whatever, I don't care, I'm no longer going to stress myself over a deadend job when there are better opportunities out there.
Christopher Gray
I appreciate your concern, but all I ever do is, well, 'do'. This is my time to rest, reflect, and offer what I can to others.
>But hey, you don't have to like it; get in, do your job to the best of your ability, and earn your pay so that you can sustain yourself. This. That's what I have to tell some of these people, "I'm not here to be your friend or babysit you, I'm here to do my work, go home, and collect my paycheck."
Aaron Gomez
I don't even get to see her until early November :(
I don't think it would be a good idea to use them considering what they've done to me in the past.
I have anxiety about talking to them no matter the length of the call. I've always been that way and I hate it :(
I can't make friends because I'm a loser and I don't have interests anymore.
Zachary Brooks
That's honestly asking for a reason to get hurt. Getting away from that toxicity is, for the best. As someone who's been through that.
Elijah Hall
Jesus... Dude sounds like a complete prick... I had a manager that was pretty much like that. Was a complete bitch to me and a few others, but was all friendly and sweet with the others...
I ended up leaving because, like you, it was just too damn much. My only regret though, is not having something lined up before hand.
I, recommend you do that first before you leave. Unless you have a plan already
Joseph Moore
Each day brings you closer to your appointment. At least you have a date there to look forward to. And then, you will begin the road to recovery!
At the risk of sounding like a grandma, "that's the problem with this generation!".
But really, it's all part of the grind. Everyone should do gruntwork at some point of their lives, that way they can better appreciate what they have achieved later on. It's a shame that so many college grads think they can get the 'job of their dreams' right out of school, with zero experience. Doesn't quite work that way.
I don't buy that. If you truly cannot be in a call with them for ten minutes, then how about five minutes? One? You need to try to make incremental progress, user, rather than write yourself off by saying "I can't do it no matter the length of time". You're more capable than you'd think.
Now, I'm not promising that it's going to be easy, pleasant, or completely not awkward. But you have to push yourself just a little and put yourself in these kinds of circumstances.
Same thing applies to going out in public, by yourself. Drive to the parking lot and sit in your car for five minutes, and fail to go into the bookstore. But at least try it, and then try it again a day or two later. Do it as often it takes until it gets boring, even. Once that's boring, then maybe venture out of your car and stroll up to the entrance, lingering for a minute. Then you can retreat and repeat until the process gets boring and your anxiety reduces.
And you're not a loser; you can make friends because of this anxiety holding you back. It isn't an uncommon problem.
Levi Russell
>hurt How much could a single phone call hurt that user? I don't know what have you been through, but for me it was like an experiment. If it went bad I would have stopped contacting them again. Maybe try again in 2-3 years.
Jonathan Brown
Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna feel weird. I'm very social as a person, so I'm not anxious in that sense - I'm just anxious about being honest, which is kinda fucked lol
but I think it will be good. Thanks, user
Ryan Wilson
Well, for one, they shouldn't answer the constant begging they're family is giving them. That's pretty much saying "If you beg enough, i'll come back regardless", which is something they can get the wrong idea about.
It's not exactly as simple as just stopping for some.
I can talk to my distanced friends for a few hours but the anxiety never goes away.
I can walk into a bookstore just fine but the anxiety never goes away.
It prevents me from from talking at all with people though, and I will be alone for the rest of my life because of it :(
Brayden Mitchell
It's Zero Dark Thirty again here in Mantisville. I gotta go to work now. Thank you for hosting this thread! I will check on it periodically, through the overnight! See you Tuesday, Anonymous!
I still fail to see the danger. They wouldn't have more control than any random stranger, who could be cut off at any time.
>It's not exactly as simple as just stopping for some. Aren't there laws against psychos that don't stop?
Jonathan Lopez
Not really fucked. I mean, the psych/therapist has the potential to REALLY get to the crux of the matter. Being honest might reveal some very ugly truths you might have to face about yourself.
Good luck out there, user. Let us know how it goes. We're around Tuesdays and Thursdays, same time, same board.
The anxiety isn't going to go completely away; you're not going to be free of those negative feelings. But the important thing is that you're functional. Which it sounds like you are, to an extent. So you *can* speak to your friends over a call afterall...
How far away are these old friends of yours? It might be prudent to schedule a get-together, just so that you can have some practice being social in person.
Take good care of yourself, Mant. Thanks for the helpful advice.
You might not like the way you look, but someone else might fancy those features you find unsatisfactory.
Luis Young
They are more than a day's drive away
and I can assure you that I am absolutely not in any way "functional"
Michael Scott
The thread is about to end in a few, but I'd like to have you stop by again next Tuesday. We can continue to work on this, if you' wouldn't mind..
>You might not like the way you look, but someone else might fancy those features you find unsatisfactory.
you assume i'm looking for a partner and i'm not sure if i agree with with you're saying anyway, attractiveness is mostly objective like we definitely know who's ugly but what we can find attractive differs.
you're not really answering my question.
Nathaniel Jenkins
Good evening Lunar. I've had a good day. I went on a second date with this girl last night, and spent the night again. (We haven't done anything either time, just cuddled and made out).
Now I'm hoping my bpd doesn't totally ruin it!
Sebastian Anderson
I'm new to this thread and really dig the idea of it all. I want to be the very best of what I can be and a good support system can get me there. Right now I'm kinda in the process of a breakup and not really sure what my next move is. I know its serious too because she blocked me from everything and deleted all her posts of me. Been with her for 11 months and love this girl tremendously, but there isn't a time where we're not in arguments. I admit I've broken her trust and lied about who I am and the things i've done throughout the course of our relationship. Every little bit of trust she instills in me I always seem to break it. If I were to try to rekindle something now, its inevitable that we're gonna get separated again so what even is the point. I'm hoping just to give her time to cool off and we can talk things out but I feel like she's just done with me. also I bought her a $150 gold locket before we broken up and planned to give it to her, should I even go through with it or just give up entirely. Sorry for dropping this shit on you guys without any kind of context or thoroughly explaining my situation, feedback is much appreciated though thankyou.
I've been feeling empty for the past year. I am pillar in several people's lives. I don't know how I got to this point but I am. I generally feel nothing when I'm not helping people. I have 3 hobbies that spike and dip in interest sporadically throughout the year. I just got a 5$ promotion that made me feel nothing even though I'm getting paid to do less work. I live with the GF who is supportive and trying her best. But she always blames her self if anything happens to me because I'm "precious". So I don't tell her about the emptiness because it will just be a convo on what she is doing wrong. I have a "good" life but I feel empty. Not matter now many new things I try. Side note. Nier:A touched me so much because of how emotional Nines gets even after he realizes nothing matters. I wish I could emote like that.
Nolan Davis
Hello and welcome! There will be another thread on Tuesday next week. Based on your post, the best I can tell you is learn from your mistakes. Don't make the same ones again. Move on to another girl.
I admit I don't know much about that. But I know it's treatable and manageable, under a doctors supervision. Be honest and forthcoming with the doc. He's there to help you.
I get about 6-8Hours of sleep during the week and 7-9 on weekends. I have always been low stimulation but it's gotten lower this past year. I'm not like an emotionaless husk or anything. It's just a gnawing empty feeling. Like after laughing at joke it's back to zero. I started dieting a month ago. Fish and veggies mainly. Hoping that would help but no changes. Still go to gym twice a week. I thought drinking was a cause of it. But I cut alcohol out and nothing changed. Booze used to be my go to fix for this feeling but now that I'm dry I just sit in. How are you doing user?
Zachary Jones
I'm doing well, thank you! When was the last time you had bloodwork done? Hormone levels checked? From what you post, a lack of testosterone and a surplus of cortisone can play hell with your moods.
1. Yes I did, They polished my resume, they gave me hook ups to temp type jobs. Nothing long lasting though.
2.I was promised a job, I slaved Not wage slave. Fucking slaved. Took a minor not permanent back injury. Then when the work was done "Uh nope sorry no job 4 u" He even said it like a fucking retard. Fuck that cunt. I'm never volunteering again.
Benjamin Rodriguez
She'll be back on Tuesday.
Alexander Myers
What the fuck are you even talking about? Are you fucking high or some shit?
Isaiah Foster
How do you keep in contact with friends you make while travelling?
Is Facebook the best way? Is it weird to get their number? What if they're from the same country as you?
Nathan Robinson
I have goals and ambitiond but I have a lot of anxiety. I don't want to deal with people. I don't want stress or drama. I don't want fake people and selfish people around me.
I have a few good friends and a good freelance job, I already accomplished many goals and all.. but I feel stagnate.
Anyone else have an anxiety disorder? I had a really difficult life.. I think that and genes make me this way.
Christian Bailey
Hello, first time poster here, just randomly stumbled across this thread and thought I'd give it a go.
I'm actually pretty happy with my current life of living off money I saved up and not doing much other than staying home on the internet. I'm doing a lot of things with my time that I feel positive about, like learning, writing, and trying out new skills.
Problem is, the money won't last forever. At most I have a few months until I need to start working again. Last time I was working I was doing terrible with the stress, barely able to concentrate and hating my life. I was even seeing a therapist at the time but it didn't help much.
I don't want to go back to working.
Thomas Wright
Facebook is one way. Discord is another. Twitter and Instagram are there too. Now might be time for a career change. As long as you have some money saved, I'd start looking around now. Also, see
Joshua Cook
I have bipolar disorder, with anxiety issues. I finally saw a doctor. I had to be prescribed medication for both. And I'm doing better now than I thought possible. You may want to see a doctor yourself.
I've been a NEET since 18. Currently 25. Complete hikkineet, literally the stereotype personified minus the piss bottles and bad hygiene, 0 social contact since high school, no job or college, obviously no experience with girls etc etc. So, I'm seriously considering going to a private college next month. It's pretty common to do that in my country. Should I do it? How would I fit in with the normies? I'm fat, not obesse but pretty damn chubby, with massive mantits, above average height, decent face, but I have no idea what to talk about with normals.
