Sex with a dictator...how do I get over it Jow Forums? UPDATE

Hello again Jow Forums. Its been a while since my last post and I figured I’d give an update to those people who were interested in my story, and to those who have given me advice over the past couple of months. For anyone who missed my previous post, my name is Anna, and in 1988 at the age of 15 I had an affair with Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. My original post is archived here: archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/19766382/#q19766382

My visit to my brother’s house was strained, though we’ve never had a good relationship. Our father had an affair with my mother and had me, so naturally there’s always been a bit of silent animosity between my father’s former family and I. I was hoping to get to see my nephew, who is quite honestly the only reason I went, but he was away at summer camp. Becky, my brother’s wife has always been cold towards me, it’s a fairly common thing for her to pretend like she can’t understand me because of my Georgian accent. For my trip I left my necklace that Muammar gave me in a safety deposit box at the bank; my brother knows I had an abortion when I was much younger, but he doesn’t know who the father was.

Cont.

Attached: 4555ec46e13bb58f40f0d01f17795a09.jpg (507x646, 53K)

I can not say that I was excited to see a therapist, in fact I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. He seemed like a nice enough person, but I’m sure he could tell that I was being guarded. He asked me if I had been feeling suicidal, which I outright lied about, but I’m in no crisis, so I figured that he didn’t need to be privy to that information. I was very reluctant to tell him my whole story, and instead said that I had had an affair with a ‘politician’. He said something to the affect of ‘It’s ok Anna, you can share who, there is no judgement here.’ So I just sort of blurted it out, I couldn’t look him in the eyes when I said it. He was quiet a moment and said ‘that’s quite a story Anna.’ I could tell he didn’t believe me, so I stood up and showed him my scars and necklace. For a second he just sat there stupefied. He then asked me if I had been raped. I was insulted and said no, flatly. He went on to ask these incredibly uncomfortable questions, like if Muammar had given me drugs during my time with him, or if I had been tested for HIV or Hepatitis, if there were other girls there at his hotel. I started crying, I said no to all of it (though I’ve given blood on numerous occasions and never had an issue there.) I left with a diagnosis of Panic Disorder and PTSD, and I certainly can’t say I feel any better about myself. He said next time we’d try an antidepressant, but I’m a bit wary of it.

cont.

A couple of weeks ago I went to Europe to visit my mother. She lives in Italian Tyrol, but we like to meet in a new country every year to do some sightseeing in an attempt to bond with each other. We never had much of a relationship because I was raised by my father, but now that he’s gone I’ve been making more of an effort. She knows about my experience because my father had to explain it to her the first time I attempted to elope (she had to come pick me up in Naples). I had planned on talking to her about it, but was nervous, mostly because I had never talked to her about it before, she knew...but it was like this unmentionable thing...I can’t really explain it to be totally honest. After we had dinner one night I went back to her room with her and told her that I wanted to talk. She looked kind of concerned and asked if I was ok, but I told her I’d explain everything when we got back to her room. I showed her my necklace and told her that I was still desperately in love with Papa. ‘Papa’ is what I called Muammar I told her, and he called me Anna, and to everyone I’ve met since then I’ve introduced myself that way, not the name her and my father had given me. I told her that I was so upset when he died that I wish I’d of died as well, and that I’ll never have another man. I told her about the men I was with after Papa, that it never felt right. I told her about how I wanted to be his wife so badly and how my father used to beat me. She just sat there and started crying, I felt pretty bad about it.

Attached: 02-February-1986_1833138i.jpg (620x400, 72K)

...

She said ‘I’m sorry this had to happen to you, if I’d of only kept you this wouldn’t have happened.’ I told her not to be sorry because I didn’t regret being with Papa, that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. She said ‘but if he did this to you he’s done it to other little girls, think of them! Think of how much he’s hurt them!’ I asked if she knew about the other letters, if my father had shared those with her, she said no. I told her Papa had mailed me letters over a decade’s worth of time and my father kept them from me. I told her how Papa would ask for photos of us, how he’d ask if I was going to raise his son knowing who his father was. She sat quiet for a minute and then cursed my father. She apologized to me again and said that she realized that I felt I had not fulfilled my purpose in life. (My mother being a devout Catholic and believing in soulmates and the like.) She cried for a while and I didn’t stop her. She said that she had thought of my son and how angry she was at my father for taking him. I told her that I had named him Julius and she sort of let out this strange wail (Julius was her father’s name, my grandfather whom I’d never go the change to meet.)

Cont.

How big was his dick.
Did you laugh when he got fucked up the shithole with a knife?

She asked me if I could forgive her for not helping me, I told her that there wasn’t anything to forgive, she didn’t know, the only stuff she knew was what my father wanted her to know. She said to make up for it she too would call me Anna, and view me as a widow so to speak. So Im Anna Gaddafi to her now, and in an odd way it feels good. It was good to find closure here, after so many years. I’m glad I finally told her.

In the mean time I have actually talked via email to someone who claimed to have worked closely with Muammar for many years. Naturally I was skeptical at first, but he knew details that I had not shared, it was a comforting (albeit somewhat frighting) exchange. He said that Muammar had told him about me one night after a bout of mild inebriation, that he had a son nobody else knew about in America. That was painful to hear.

Cont.

Attached: 46e6d8d7e1bffd60b30d60e56c5b440f.jpg (425x639, 42K)

I have put some consideration into writing about my experience, but wouldn’t even begin to know how to get published or anything, especially wanting to remain anonymous. My life is simple and uneventful, I’ve worked very hard to maintain an about face and continue like a ‘normal’ person, the last thing I need is to Google my name and see photos of me plastered everywhere as being Colonel Gaddafi’s underage mistress. I cringe at the thought.

You need to get this story out

Attached: 1444248240276.jpg (800x529, 151K)

I've posted on /b/ before, perhaps we've met there. I usually save Jow Forums posts for serious discussion.

Eh, I'd say a bit above average lengthwise, but very thick. It was painful at first. Laugh? No, far from that.

Not bait

This is interesting have a bump

Not really sure how how, I mean, for publication you'd have to submit your information for tax purposes. The only way I think that's possible is if I just anonymously mailed a manuscript to a publisher, and without a sit down interview I seriously doubt they'd take a risk on publishing, remember 'A Million Little Pieces'? They had to refund a lot of cash and publishers don't exactly like to refund money.

Never seen that anime.

Thanks user, have a rare Gaddafi.

Attached: libya-young1.jpg (270x396, 36K)

Self publish.

Have you tried posting on Jow Forums? Gaddafi is a hero there.

I suppose that's a possibility.

For some reason I feel like I'd be torn apart on Jow Forums, I mean I post on /b/ off an on so I really have nothing to be nervous about, perhaps I'll try at some point. Might be interesting, since I usually end up talking to people who hate him.

Gaddafi united a land of once-continuous tribal warfare, and under his administration the human development index of Libya was high and stable. US intervention in Libya sparked the worst humanitarian crisis since the second world war, and resurrected what should have been extinct intra-ethnic hostilities. Literally nobody was helped by this intervention.

Whatever, back to your roleplay thread.

The shills and Jews would try
But it’s definitely were you’d get the most traction

This. I’m glad you feel the same way user, thank you.

I’m not going try to convince you I’m telling the truth, a lot of folks don’t believe me, and I’m ok with that. Regardless you’re a cool person in my book, take care.

Attached: AB0860AF-D826-4DFF-9C3B-894329B03721.jpg (2000x2046, 764K)

Might as well try it at some point then, could be interesting. I don't have much to offer as far as politics are concerned, I mean I know pretty much everything I can about his time in power, but we didn't talk about it one on one. I think it was one of those situations where when you're away from things that stress you the last thing you'd want to do is go over it with your teenage companion. I can at least give some insight into his daily musings on trivial things, and of course me.

This is very interesting I too shall bump

So what's your issue here? He abused you or you fell in love with him and can't get over it?

Jesus christ get over it, you stupid roastie. 1988 is fucking ancient history, the vast majority of posters here weren't even alive then. That was literally 2/3rds of your life ago, if you are still traumatized by it then you're shit out of luck because you're out of time now.

I'm not reading all this shit. Was he a nice guy? Did you feel bad when he got tortured by his people?

I think you should try to move on with your life. I know this seems like the most interesting thing in the world but its not. If I met you in person and you droned on about some affair that happened 30 years ago I would find it boring and try and remove myself from your presence.

Thanks user.

I fell in love and can’t get over it.

I suppose I’m out of time now then. But out of time for what? Finding someone else to love? Moving on? I don’t think those things were ever really an option for me from the start. Yes, it was a long time ago...it’s taken me this long to even begin to try and talk about it.

That’s cool user, it is a lot of shit to read. He was very nice to me, he was very soft spoken and kind. I miss him terribly. I honestly can’t describe the way I felt, it’s like a part of me died as well. I don’t think I’ll ever really get over it.

If we met in person you’d never know. No one in my life knows now except my mother, and I certainly intend to keep it that way. I come to Jow Forums to talk about it for the anonymity, that is all. For those who are interested I’ll talk, for those not it’s ok, ignore me. These few times I’ve discussed it has been the first time in 30 years, when I said all I need to say it won’t be mentioned again for me.

Attached: E2D29A88-7132-4ED9-88F7-1B41955F4027.jpg (872x1392, 735K)

You ever thought about having a medium summon him to talk to him? There are alot of fakes, yeah, but some be some seers who are on point

Be ware of shamans and soathsayers, they are more right that wrong in here.

I suppose it should be pretty easy since he is a renowned leader. People truly die once no one alive has no recollection of them

Never thought of it, I’m not too into the paranormal stuff, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt anything, I mean I knew him well enough that I’d know if they were fucking around with me. If any of that’s true there’s a lot of have to say...

That goes without saying, I’m a skeptic and I think they’d have to really impress me for me to even begin to believe a thing that they said.

That’s true, I try to keep his memory alive, even if it’s some small way. It’s all I have of him outside of the few gifts he had given me. I just really want him to go down in history as a leader who was good to his people, Lord knows he was good to me.

Attached: D1BB0395-095E-413C-90BD-58B7CE60B331.jpg (912x1413, 381K)

I agree on the skeptic part. Browse /x/, if you can ignore 80% of role players and larps. Just like any or all the boards, it used to be a goldmine, but there are still diamonds in the rough.

I went to a fortune teller, mystic, or whatever, and I gave her a rating of D-. Extremely vague, kept me asking me to ask questions when I EXPECTED that the spirits would do at least half of the talking. The only reason why it's not an F is because I purposely lied about something and the candle that was on the middle of the table flickered hard. The moment I finished my lie to the period, that damn flame had a reaction.

I still WANT to believe it was a guide getting angry that I was lying to their medium, or maybe it was a coincidence. Other than that, D-.

I only ever went to that one though, Hope you have better luck. I did go to one in a city center, but the moment this young lady said to me "I'm a psychic", I noped out of there. No true mystic would try to validate that to me. They would tell me something accurate they never woulda have known in a million years.

I suppose I could go over to /x/ and at least check it out, if nothing than to kill time on a Saturday.

That’s a very interesting experience, I’d certainly like to believe he’s still out there, and it’d be great to speak to him in some way. I’m Catholic, but I’ve been somewhat lax since ‘11 for obvious reasons.

But yeah, it’s easy to do research on him and try to build a portrait based on this. It’d be interesting to see, since I knew him in another way, if any of this holds any merit.

Attached: 037FF409-6C89-4EA9-8609-F923C1E3A91D.jpg (599x749, 66K)

>Be ware of shamans and soathsayers
>they are more right that wrong in here.
???explain

maybe, get into contact with his young son...

Which son? Ours? Julius was killed as a baby, not sure how age works in heaven, but I’d love to be able to speak to him. I’d like to think they’re together where ever they are. I’d like to think that Papa Muammar knows I never stopped loving him.

Now if you mean Saif or one of his other sons, I’ve considered it, but at the end of the day I don’t think anyone would want to hear about their father’s extramarital affairs, especially when another child was involved. If I ever contact his family it’d probably be through his cousin Ahmed, since he’s supposed to be easily approachable.

Attached: 6B123C91-01DF-42F9-82C0-CCE99CF5496E.jpg (852x1351, 845K)