Hi Jow Forums. 23 F, engaged. My fiance recently joined an anti-smoking activism group, and I'm a smoker...

Hi Jow Forums. 23 F, engaged. My fiance recently joined an anti-smoking activism group, and I'm a smoker. I know it's not the best thing in the world for you and I don't blame him for being against it, but I'm still upset about it because I feel kinda like it's an implied jab at me. And I'm worried that it could cause us conflict in the relationship. Am I overreacting, or is it something I need to talk to him about? If so, how do I bring it up and address it?

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Maybe you should stop smoking.

I love my cigarettes though :(

they're killing you making you uglier

My grandma has been smoking her whole life and she's gorgeous. And she's not dying. I'm fine.

I'm not asking advice on quitting smoking, I'm asking what to do about my fiance.

>cancer sticks
>your fiance

choose one

Well obviously, consider stopping to smoke, but I'm sure you get enough of that so let's move on.
I don't think it's unreasonable to worry that this might create some tension in your relationship.
Even though smoking is objectively worse than not doing so, him being an activist against smoking might make the both of you walk on thin ice around each other.
Talk to him about it and clear up what to do from now, the more out there the topic is the less tension will be present in your relationship.
Have you considered, if not quitting all together, trying to switch to nicotine patches or vaping?
I switched from cigarettes to vaping around a year ago and it was a great decision, it's actually cheaper (at least where I live, where Tobacco is taxed to hell and back), I don't smell like an ash tray anymore, it's much less hazardous to your health and it genuinely tastes better.
Only real drawback is it makes you look like a chode by association because of the """community""" of faggots that view it as a hobby and not a smoking alternative, you can partially avoid it by getting a reasonably sized onw that doesn't produce clouds that put the great English smog to shame.

What do you love more: your fiance or cigarettes?

let him do his thing and so far he hasn't said a damn thing about your habit so shut up

I actually want to clarify my point.
It's possible that he'll try to pressure you into quitting cigarettes, but there's not much you specifically can do about it (and it wouldn't really be a bad thing, all things considered), so I won't touch on that point.
The worst thing that can happen is that the topic becomes a taboo between you two, so you try and hide your smoking and he thinks twice and thrice about leaving pamphlets or some shit lying around as to not offend you, this will create a lot of unnecessary tension in your relationship.
Open the topic up, make it clear that it's okay to talk about it and that neither of you need to hide who you are, you won't go hiding whenever you need that sweet cancer stick and he doesn't need to feel like being a part of it is a jab against you, as you put it, be open to dialogue and understand that these things don't need to project on any other part of your relationship.
Like everything in a relationship that isn't cheating and STDs kept a secret, the answer is communication, talk about it, don't let it become a taboo and you'll save yourself some pointless, pointless stress, even if you end up disagreeing on some fundamental things.

>let's ignore all scientific facts and trust my anecdotal evidence

What a bullshit thing to say to someone.

That makes sense. I really don't want him to be a part of that stuff the more I think about him though. How do I tell him that without sounding unreasonable? It really does feel like he's against me by doing this.

>I really don't want him to be a part of that stuff the more I think about him though. How do I tell him that without sounding unreasonable?
Unfortunately, you can't, because it would in fact be an unreasonable request.
Bring up with him the concern that this is a jab against you, don't be accusative about it, but don't dance around the topic either.
I seriously doubt he's doing it specifically against you, and if so, what a roundabout, silly and childish thing to do.
Bring up your concerns, be honest and direct but calm, composed an don't be accusative (unaccusative? I'm not sure that's a word)
However the way I see it you can't request him to quit the organization without being unreasonable, it's entirely within his right to participate in one and I seriously, SERIOUSLY doubt it actually is against you.
I mean, I can understand why it would FEEL that way, but I refuse to believe he is actually doing it as criticism against you, because there are much better ways that take up much less of his time to drop a hint as unsubtle as this.
That would be like studying to become a veterinarian to hint to a spouse that maybe their old dog should be put to down.

>What a bullshit thing to say to someone.
No it's bullshit to expect someone to spend the rest of their life with you while you smoke years off of your life everyday. My father is 55 and looks no younger than 70 and he's been smoking cigarettes most of his adult life. It's not fair to me or my my kids that they'll probably never get to meet their grandfather because he chose to smoke his life away.
If you love someone you might have to consider sacrificing something to be with them. That said you probably don't have to quit cold turkey but at least start smoking less

Tell your fiance to stop being a fucking pussy.

this. your boyfriend sounds like he's trying to be a controlling dick. fuck that shit, dude.

cigarettes are gay, I'm so glad I quit after nearly 10 years of smoking and wish I had quit even sooner

your fiance genuinely cares about you cause she doesn't want your dick to stop working or you to get like 3 different kinds of cancer and die a shitty death

>My grandma has been smoking her whole life and she's gorgeous. And she's not dying

Your grandma is not an immortal demi-god, she is dying and will be dead in like 10-20 years.

also this

>your fiance genuinely cares about you cause she doesn't want your dick to stop working or you to get like 3 different kinds of cancer and die a shitty death

just read that you're a girl, so you probably don't have a dick, but don't give yourself cancer you retard.

My grandma died when I was young because she wanted to smoke. My only memories of her are her miserable self hooked up to oxygen and them wheeling her body out the day she died. We never really knew each other.

Wish I could ask her if it was worth it.

>What a bullshit thing to say to someone.
Yeah, what a bullshit thing to want someone you love to watch out for their health so that they'll be around longer.

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What can you do about it? You can quit fucking smoking. You don't love it, you're addicted to it. Seriously, what are you expecting? You have a vice, your fiance (most likely) has an issue with it and your question is "what can I do about my fiance?" instead of "what can I do about my vice?"? Wake the fuck up

I feel you there
I'm 20 and when I smoke it's like everything in the world is okay for a few minutes. They feel so good.
But when I look at myself in the mirror I look like a damn ghost. I feel legit like I could die from the weakness and sluggishness.
Trying to quit. :(