I'm a piece of shit unsalvageable roastie with bpd, depression, and all that fucking disgusting shit...

i'm a piece of shit unsalvageable roastie with bpd, depression, and all that fucking disgusting shit. I turn every single love/dating chance down no matter how much my heart may yearn for it and I'll even try my best to make myself as unattractive as possible to make people feel less bad about me rejecting them.

im doing the right thing, right? Just checking.

and what is the right way to go about it? I really want people to understand the cliché that, literally, is not them, it's me.

Attached: large.jpg (700x717, 23K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=epAQe3JhtI8
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>l even try my best to make myself as unattractive as possible
Really? Literally? How do you go about doing that? Your face is probably on a dating website right now.

attention whoring: the thread
Go find yourself some orbiters on /soc/ instead of bothering us here

>bpd, depression, and all that fucking disgusting shit.
You might as well have AIDS. You're doing those guys a favor by rejecting them.

>
You want all the dicks, don't you?

Attached: 1495588760781.jpg (446x528, 54K)

Surprisingly, not at all. I've never done dating websites, apps, whatever. In fact I try to stay away from social media aswell.
>how do you go about doing that
think about whatever turns them off and act/look like that, if they're persistent be rude, show as much as red flags as possible, shit like that

So when I turn them down they can walk away thinking "thank god i dodged a bullet, fuck that slag, so glad I didn't even try anymore" and not "she's just making shit up, she hates me, I'm worthless"

how can i fucking have aids if i've never fucked, touched, kissed anyone

if that's the case you are the dumb cunt for replying and feeding me. which is not. well, that's my word at least, but think whatever makes you feel better. I'm just asking a genuine question(s) here.

also
>you're doing those guys a favor by rejecting them
This. this is exactly my point. you're absolutely right, no sarcasm. this is what I'm trying to do. i just want to know how can I do that the best way.

Just tell them that you're not interested, if they ask you why, then tell them that you have major issues due to which you don't want to or can't date. Easy.

my bdp ex hurt me

That's what I usually do. I'm just insecure I'm hurting them too much or something (even though I would hurt them far more were I to accept a relationship). well, thanks.

I am so fucking sorry. It is hell nobody deserves. not you and a little not them as well.

BPD is a literal meme

Go the therapy and make yourself a stable, reliable person capable of reciprocal healthy loving relationships. That will pay off far more than turning yourself into a walking piece of shit. Find a doctor that specializes in dialectical behavior therapy and/or cognitive behavioral therapy. Those are the best treatments for BPD and can also help with the depression.

You can do it, its possible to recover enough to lead a good life. Don't worry about other people right now, I know it's easier said than done but bear with me. You need you right now more than other people need you, and more than you need other people. You need to focus on your own foundation so that you don't have to have others hold you up and so that you don't weaken others bases. Long of the short of it, don't date right now. You aren't going to be a good partner and you aren't going to attract people that are good for you. But in time things will get better.

-A former co-dependent

Attached: 1525196015419.jpg (1125x1295, 343K)

I hope she comes back. :c I miss her crazy, evil ass

Love yourself a bit OP, no one is unsalvageable.

Current year woman with mental illnesses?
Geez, some anomaly you are...

I swear to god if I see some teen piece of shit saying they have bpd I'll shoot up this whole board

Wanna talk about hurt? I dated two girls with BPD because I was too dumb to get the message the first time.

On the other hand the second one was far better, and much closer to stable than the first.

find a real nigga that you couldn't hurt even if you tried.

Can't really say for sure whether it's right or wrong for doing that but you will definitely miss the chance of finding a person that could share your issues and bear it with you until the end instead of having yourself suffering from it all alone.

Also, [spoiler]Aurora...?[/spoiler]

I've given up. I've been in therapy for... 7 years now maybe, I've lost count. All kinds of specialties, all kinds of doctors, all kinds of meds, all kinds of lifestyles, all kinds of therapies/treatment, I'm fucked for good. I'm unsalvageable.

So if I can't be fixed I might as well make sure I don't spread damage to anyone any further. I won't date, I won't marry, I won't have sex, I won't create friendships, I'm socially isolating myself as much as possible. I vowed that to myself. So far it's cripplingly painful, all alone, but I stifle the pain down with alcohol and meds, and it's the best option for me and for others.

Thank you though, you are very kind and understanding.

Not a teen. In my teens I told myself "this is just puberty and hormones making me crazy, I'll calm down when I reach adulthood". I didn't. if anything I got worse.

How old are you? I think it's admirable that you are aware of your own limitations and don't want to hurt people. That's a very mature stance.

bpd and depression? sounds like a catch to me m8

>all the women totally fucked over by feminism they pushed that just further empower the slutty whores they despise.

Attached: 5bf.jpg (480x318, 16K)

What she's doing is neither mature nor admirable; it's self-destruction. She'll have nothing left in several years time if she keeps up her current pace of alcoholism and social isolation, which will only provoke her illness and other illnesses and inhibit her life to a greater degree, a spiral downwards to degeneration.

I think she needs to get out of her comfort zone and form a long-term intimate relationship with someone that she loves and that loves her back (she has clearly had the opportunity to and may very well still have it), someone she can be truthful with and knows will return that mutually - to be truthful with her, too - someone she can talk to about her problems like she has hold us, but for that someone to recognise them as problems and not deem them as fucking 'admirable', but as that which needs to be accounted for and kept at bay.

OP, you seriously need to get yourself together if you're to have a meaningful life.

seems like you dont want to be a healthy person and you somehow like your predicament

nobody can take that from you, you have to decide and do it
"The greatest wars are fought alone."

give up your pride of being a special unsalvageable piece of shit and the rest will come to you, trust me. Don't care for others, care for yourself and actively practice it.

that or become a trap with a chastity on a leash for being a dog you are

also the book "Feeling good" by Burns

Are you trolling right now? Some BPD people really are undateable. Hell, some people with mental illness are undateable and while it sucks, it's just how it is. Not everyone can have a Disney love fairytale and BPD people make horrible partners. Whoever she loves, this person's mental health is much safer thanks to her decision to isolate herself. You're giving her fake hope by spouting bullshit like this. Maybe you don't know enough about dating messed up people or you mean well, but she knows herself the best and if nothing helped her so far and she deems herself too unstable to be with someone then yes, acknowledging her limits is admirable. Some of you people have hyper idealized vision of reality, I swear.

>im doing the right thing, right? Just checking.
No, you're not. Stupid woman.

are you implying OP should just find a quiet dark place and die? ideals are not strictly positive and you seem to have some too

No, I think she should learn to enjoy being on her own and while she should socialize with people, she should also keep her distance and stop herself from getting together with some naive idiot whose life she will almost inevitably ruin. Don't make romantic loneliness sound like the end of the world because it's not. Many people learn to live this way and can be relatively happy.

i think you havent read the post you replied to thoroughly. it does not mention dating a naive idiot - in fact the contrary

Any man who willingly gets in a relationship with a BPD girl is an idiot. An idealistic and well-meaning idiot, but still an idiot.

Congratulations bitch you are a massive fuckimg failure

Attached: Hellsing-Alucard-Clapping-Anime-Gif.gif (500x281, 297K)

nobody is a massive failure, only people who think they are one believe massive failures exist

>”roastie”
>self-defeatfag
nothing is wrong, have fun

It's funny, because by this thread OP wonderfully showcases how manipulative bpd bitches are
She made a post about how she is trying to do the right think and keep men away to avoid hurting them...
...but at the same time she hopes to hear responses for people who will encourage her to pursue this men
And surely enough, she is getting these validating posts, kind anons telling her that she is not a hopeless case, that she deserves a relationship, etc

Attached: C7ReV9pXUAEfBdY.jpg (1200x1157, 94K)

Nobody said that she deserves a relationship, just that her life doesn't have to be as shit as she's making it and that things can be very different and actually better than they currently are.

>posts on Jow Forums
>gives no advice

>posts on Jow Forums
>gets trips

based post is based

You have to admit you failed in order to start moving on in life. And the bitch is a massive fucking failure, so she better just admit it and start improving
>once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up

Attached: 0e30953f-8f96-4c96-bbb0-cfdc4692ae59.jpg (480x352, 15K)

that's some naive bullshit right there

OP is clearly not at rock bottom since she's asking which way is down

Well then the case still stands, OP failed a being a woman

going a little offtopic but i hope you anons can understand why im not asking how to get better, but how to minimise the damage to others instead. sorry for long reddit tier post

19, I don't know. ive had a rougher than usual life i guess and that forced me to grow up.

bpd, chronic depression, GID, anxiety/panic, what fucking ever, im an unwilling walking tumblrina teen stereotype with all these labels thrown on me, the embodiment of a tumblr sjw teen's bio.

this also could be true. I already reached a point of multiple suicide attempts and fucked my liver up, it might start failing in a few years. Honestly my goal right now is to just wait for death because I can't even kill myself right.

I have tried countless times to do what you said, believe me. not just romantic, with family, close intimate friends, whatever; It all spirals into toxic unhealthy abuse, sometimes from me AND the other person. Always. Stress, sickness, anger, tears, I'm done.

>get yourself together
It's too late. I was fucked from the moment I was formed with all the shitty genes in the womb of an already batshit mother taking pills.
>meaningful life
That's not for me.

That's the shit I hear all the time. "You're only not healthy/happy because you don't want to".
Like I said. I've tried EVERYTHING. I've fought like crazy. I carried myself all alone through everything, supporting myself since I was ~14 cuz aint nobody give a shit about me but me.

It's because I always end up losing that ive resigned to my fate and given up, stopped struggling. The more I struggle, the more painful it is. Whenever there's a spark of happiness in me, I put it out because I'm deluding myself.
Any positivity is just an illusion. I'm just playing myself.

dude you're 19 you can't say you've tried everything

i felt like this when i was 19 too, now im 26 and it's been 4 years since i admitted to myself that i really want to feel better (i still feel shit but on minority of days, i get out of bed every day)

>nobody give a shit about me but me
this is how it is supposed to be and it's like that for everyone; it's not like that because you're worthless

>positivity is just an illusion
of course it is, all happy people are deluded. but if you really want to feel well you have to accept it and delude yourself, happiness is a choice

you can't say you give up at 19 and that it's "too late" that's just selfish and lazy and cowardly.
you can and deserve to feel good but it requires a mindset change and a lifestyle change. you have to convince yourself that you really want it

but like i said if you don't then just become a sub slave for some sadist and you will both get what you really want

look at this, he could be down and tell everyone what a piece of shit he is, but he doesn't. don't you envy him ?

youtube.com/watch?v=epAQe3JhtI8

>she hopes to hear responses for people who will encourage her to pursue this men
color me confused. where the fuck did I say that?
I can't deny a lot of bpd people do that, true, but it in my case right now that's not my goal... at least I don't think it is, consciously.

I truly appreciate those thoughts/advices but I know I can't follow them, those aren't the advices I'm asking for. I do however feel like there may be hope for some other people with BPD reading this, and im happy there are still genuinely merciful people out there especially in this malaysian submarine figurine wars website, so, I'm thankful either way.

>not everyone can have a Disney fairytale
bingo. this is exactly how I feel.
All those fantasies and tropes sound dreamy and amazing, and they're what makes me fucking cry at night like a beta knowing they're not real, but... That's that. They're not real. they will never be. They're overglorified, romanticised, fiction.
That's why I walk away and keep fantasy in fantasy. (on the plus side the romance anime and manga industry gets a lot of my money)

I'd like to correct you in something. I didn't fail just being a woman, I failed being a person in general.
just a thought.

when I was 12 I was told the same. then 14. then 16. then 18. it gets better, it gets better, it gets better...
If i dont die by liver/heart failure beforehand, I'm gonna reach 30, 50, and I'm gonna look around and realise, wow, I believed these people, I tried my best, and it still didn't get any fucking better and I just wasted my fucking time.
>that's just selfish and cowardly
which is what I am.

>there are people out there who have it worse than you (and still pulled through)
This just makes me feel ten times worse. It only proves further I'm a self-absorbed coward undeserving of the gift of life even more.

what do you do that's so bad?

The thing is, life was never supposed to be easy, sure, it may be easy for some people, but that's just part of accepting the harsh truth, life is unfair, it was never supposed to be fair, you have to play with the cards you were given.

The way I see it, you have two option, you can take the easy way out and run like a coward, or fight as hard as you can, It's not gonna be easy, it never is, but you have to keep trying

I'll be praying for you OP, I believe in you.

Attached: VY1hL6O.png (1440x900, 1.67M)

Being a woman is fucking easy mode, and you still failed

Find treatment, I wont waste time on you because time is money and you are a first world girl with a distorted reality view.

Yes, you need treatment because you are mentally ill, but you prolly wont search and will continue this yada yada until you are infertile with 30 cats and addicted to painkillers.

>never fucked
>roastie
Pick one