How do you actually make friends and get a significant other that understands you...

How do you actually make friends and get a significant other that understands you? There are so many things you can get involved in and small talk goes nowhere every time.

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Bump

I know all my friends since my childhood or from university, never met any friends of this. I replaced girlfriend with prostitute. Not proud but it works.

Don't look online, it's like trying to fish for an anchovy in a shark tank. Small talk is impossible online, not hard in comparison in person.

I don't look online, I more so just mean that none of my involvement with extra-curricular stuff and attempts to be social with people from class have really lead to much. I have some people that I talk to and could technically call friends but I don't really have any meaningful connections. None of them are real friends. Girls are the same thing, I date every now and then but don't really connect with anyone.

You have to give things time. The best way to develop friendships and find partners is to live your life without it desperately being your focus. It always comes easier and more naturally that way. You aren't going to will an event that makes you grow closer to people into existence.

I still don't know. I just show up places and wing it.

Real answer, my nigga?
Be vulnerable

>Be vulnerable

not OP but what do you mean

Do you do shit with people? Or do you spend your free time alone at home reading/playing/etc.?

Not that user, but he says that you should open up to people.

oof that's hard. All my recent success comes from either pretending to be normal or never mentioning anything that isn't.

What do you think opening up is? Confession you jerk off to hot glue videos is not what we mean. We are talking about being open and enjoying other people.

It's more like letting slip I have no friends, live at home, and have no real hobbies outside of exercising. I can enjoy other people well enough.

>Small talk is impossible online,
I think it just makes it more obvious how boring a person is. I've had convos through kik where I'm constantly asking questions because the other person basically refuses to offer any unprompted comments.

>How do you actually make friends
Just do stuff with people and be friendly.
Learning their names and saying "hi " when you see them is a good way to build a report.

>It's more like letting slip I have no friends, live at home, and have no real hobbies outside of exercising.

Yeah, I can see your problem. You have such a low self-esteem that you can't imagine people genuinely enjoying their time with you.

That was me a few years ago, I don't have any reason to suspect people hanging around or even approaching me for casual chats to not genuinely at least not mind talking to me.

I mean it when I'm good at pretending to be normal.

>I mean it when I'm good at pretending to be normal.

Again, pin your mind eople don't *genuinely* enjoy your company, they enjoy your fake persona.

That's low self-esteem man.

Ok but how do I get vulnerable and open up, as another anons have said?

I don't mind discarding whatever is my real persona or not, and just work into the fake one but I don't know how to integrate things like being friendless into it without potentially alienating people.

Being "friendless" is not the real you. You have friends now, right? Don't treat the temporary states you were in like intrinsic characteristics of you.

Being open is about being honest, about asking for what you want, showing what you feel, sharing honestly with others. Not acting out a persona nor sharting every little detail about your past.

Goddamn, "sharing", not "sharting".

kek