Female with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am extremely vindictive in arguments; I hit below the belt...

Female with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am extremely vindictive in arguments; I hit below the belt, go for the jugular, and every other euphemism you can think of. Once I start seeing red, my goal becomes to hurt the other person as much as possible; I don't see them as a loved one or even a human being, just an enemy that deserves an infinite amount of verbal abuse.

My boyfriends all end up dumping me because I can be, in a phrase surprisingly many of them come up with, a huge bitch. How do I stop? I want my relationships to be more like pic related, I'm tired of driving guys away by screaming at them for upwards of a half-hour whenever they inevitably hurt my delicate feelings.

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Therapy/meds

Don't have relationships.

DBT. I have BPD too and I’m still not perfect or completely normal but I’m better than I used to be.

I don't 100% trust you. I think you will take any advice here an use it further as a weapon.

Personally I think BPD is compleatly fake and is just a result of you being an entitled emotionally manipulative bitch who can’t stand being told “no”

Basically realize that you aren’t the center of the universe.

This

It's either that or tell yourself you can will yourself past it, since that seems to have a solid track record so far.

you don't know what you're talking about.

good medical help which is rare and difficult to come by with a combination of medication. assuming you actually have bipolar disorder which who diagnosed you with it? do you have manic episodes? it's not only extremely difficult to find a helpful combination of meds it's also very difficult to get properly diagnosed with a correct problem.

if you got offhandedly diagnosed by a two bit hack which most medical professionals are it's very possible he just gave you a diagnoses so he could continue treatment through your insurance(which often is the correct thing to do if it's done for the right reasons.)

>someone who's clearly not coherent telling people off and saying they're incorrect
Like pottery on Jow Forums, like pottery

Fucking die, my mother is exactly like you and it ruined my childhood.

Record a video of yourself, when you are in a calm rational mood, explaining to yourself everything you just wrote in your post. If you ever feel one of your crazy borderline moods coming on you have to play that video to yourself, or make your boyfriend play it for you

I have BPD too though I just get angry, self-destructive and vindictive with myself because I overreact when people get annoyed with me and I feel like a horrible person for failing them.

I just want to bring others a little joy and happiness in their lives. Instead I'm worthless.

This sounds perfectly normal to me. I don't know any buddhist monks with 100% chill. Obviously you don't want to hurt somebody more then it's worth delegating the pain necessary to correct the action, but this isn't your role. Your a woman.

My advice is for you to stop talking and be as effeminate as possible. See the girl in your pic? She's just there for the guy- no ego or motive then she can just be with him.

Take a vow of silence if you really have to.

It's good that you know this about yourself. Please mend it before you have children above all else

I don't think I would verbally abuse my children in the way I verbally abuse my peers.
... I think.

I'm protective of kids since I see myself in them - the same child that was emotionally abused growing up herself. I'm not as protective of emotionally healthy adults because they aren't as vulnerable.

I have BPD too, when I feel this horrible feelings coming up I usually go to a bathroom and punch all the fucking walls until my hands hurt like hell.

I used to try to warn people of my horrible moods but they always would end up taking my ourbursts personal anyway

>the same child that was emotionally abused growing up herself.
See a therapist, because I'm guessing this is a major underlying reason for your disorder.

Never stick your dick in crazy. Tattoo that on your vulva.

Jump in front of a bus. Serious.

Sorry to say, you're probably never going to have a happy relationship the way you are

>mentally unstable person wants to have a loving relationship but drives everyone away by telling calling them the most vile things you can imagine
>”why does everyone leave me? Im just a innocent female who deserves love”
Either actually recognize your problems and improve on them or just go ahead and blow a chunk out of your head

try not screaming at them

This is what happens when you don't even read the post you're replying to.

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