I thought I was going to have a girlfriend for the first time in my life, at 24 years. She is 6 years younger than me, and she said that our age difference was giving her anxiety. She knew my age before we started spending time together, it's only now that she finally wants to shut things down.
I'm convinced that I just didn't appear to be a very interesting person. I don't have a lot of hobbies (all I do is play video games and work a dead-end job), I'm not in great physical shape (140 lbs., not muscular), and I don't have any skills (can't draw, mix music, or cook). What can I do to make myself more interesting so that a great opportunity like that arises, I don't lose them?
Shouldn't of told her that you never had a gf. Amirite?
Colton Wilson
actually, i never told her that. i don't know anything about her relationship history either. we started off as co-workers who played vidya together, then she wanted to visit my apartment and play in the same room. she recently spent the night, though we slept in different rooms. just when i started to think she's really into me, this morning she apologized for "leading me on" and doesn't want to get involved "a guy my age"
Lincoln Jenkins
Maybe what she said was true to how she felt. I dated a man 12 years older than me but most of my friends would never dare even date someone 6 years older. Maybe she felt you guys didn't have as much in common, or she was afraid of how people, especially her parents would react.
As for being a more interesting person, take up hobbies and keep at it. Anyone can learn to cook if they put effort into it. Take online courses in a new language or something. Do you have friends you spend time with?
Jonathan Cooper
rekt kek
Lincoln Lopez
>doesn't want to get involved "a guy my age" Good for her. She's a smart lady.
Charles Ramirez
>I'm convinced that I just didn't appear to be a very interesting person. This is probably correct. Girls love older men, love attention from them and feeling like they're on their level. It should work in your favor.
I think you should do more outgoing activities, to build up your social muscles, and do some physical activities to get in shape. Based on my own experience, maybe pick up an edgy style. I/m 28 now but I was a super edgy metalhead until 25 (buzzed head, band shirts, boots and jeans, the whole deal) and I had an 18 year old gf for a while who I got together with simply because we were both edgelords. I think me being older and edgy helped validate her own edginess, which was just fine with me. I hooked up with several girls younger than me by a few years when I was an edgelord.
Cooper Wright
>24 years. She is 6 years younger than me Oh boy. Props for the pic, it fits the thread well. >it's only now that she finally wants to shut things down. Good call. >What can I do to make myself more interesting so that a great opportunity like that arises, I don't lose them? A quasi teen isn't a great opportunity for someone your age. As for the rest, you noted some flaws, go and address them.
>she recently spent the night, though we slept in different rooms This is just sad, mate.
Blake Mitchell
>huge red flag dating someone significantly younger >thinking she didnt talk about your relationship to friends/family/adv Anyone she asked with common sense would tell her that if you were robbing the cradle which if she heard often enough would cause doubt.
Matthew Roberts
We definitely didn't have much in common. I was kinda bracing myself for it, because I hadn't heard from her in a few days. It's no mystery to me what happened... if I had been Prince Charming I don't think our ages would be a big issue. She just realized I was a regular guy, nothing special. She would be selling herself short if she went out with me. That's why I want some ideas to improve myself and be a more attractive partner.
I tried learning to cook after she started visiting my apartment, and I did cook for her a couple of times. Now I'm considering better hobbies. I need to replace video games with something. I was thinking about going to the gym.
Evan Thompson
>This is just sad, mate. it was her idea to spend the night, and I invited her to sleep on my bed. we were both tired after watching a movie. she decided to sleep on the couch in the living room. say what you want, but i don't think i did anything wrong in that particular encounter. she did what she wanted, and she didn't want me.
Not saying you did anything wrong, it's just the whole scenario of a guy who obviously wants to bang someone, and the person not even wanting to share a bed with them, it's at least a moderate kick in the nutts. Not even clowning on you, man. I bet somewhat similar shit happened to most at least once.
Jace Perry
Thanks for both of these replies, guys. I think I honestly needed to hear both of these things. I feel better now.
I feel kinda weird going to gym since physical fitness has never been a big part of my life, but I've got to put myself out there and be more social. In the back of my mind, I know I can just try tinder but I just don't think that's what i'm looking for
Grayson Cooper
Start learning everything you just listed. I'm 21 and in the past 3 years I learn exactly the things you listed
Anthony Bell
Dude if you can't pull girls irl you're going to fail horribly on Tinder. Start going to a bar once a week and chatting to people there. Bring friends, if you have them, because being in a group makes it easier for you to break into other groups. You need to get into the social trenches and cut your teeth a bit. Get in the shit, embarrass yourself, earn a few social wound badges.
I understand about the gym, too. It took me two months using exercise machines before I had the balls to try squatting and deadlifting where everyone could see me. I was desperately afraid someone would laugh at my technique or something, it was ridiculous. When I was younger I used to love boxing-- going into your first sparring session and coming out alright is a huge confidence booster-- and it's great exercise with some practical uses. Knowing how to throw some punches and move your head puts you miles ahead of most people who'll try to fight you, just look at this shit youtube.com/watch?v=ApHMHcag1lA . You could try that, too.
Eli Cooper
it's worse than you think. I have no friends in the town that I live. One thing that's holding me back from going to a bar is that i live in a college town, and i live really close to the school. i'm afraid i would only run into students and i'm not a student anymore. i feel like i would be a fish out water (moreso than normal). people would be talking about exams and shit and i'm over here living life as a wageslave.
Jonathan Evans
>25 >talk to an 18 year old >know her family will probably do the same thing OP's girl did I hate this.
Isaiah Sullivan
>Half your age plus 7 is the youngest you can go She is too young bro
Wyatt Ross
Wait I thought it was just half your age
Benjamin Myers
A 30 year old is clear to date a 15 year old in your eyes?
Sebastian Cox
I'm actually in the same situation, same age too although the girl is older than me.
I find that doing things that you don't necessarily like to do just to impress girls is fucking retarded, you'll never see a girl do it for you so why bother? You're almost at the age where you'll start forgetting about girls and relationships anyway, and it won't bother you as much anymore. Just wait for the next one if there is one.
The thing is, i've never really been crazy about girls. This girl approached me at work and asked me about the games I played (she overheard me talking about vidya to a different co-worker). She asked to visit my apartment the first time, she was the one who wanted to have a sleepover. I was over here, never had a girl over to my apartment, never had to justify my lifestyle to anyone, never had to entertain anyone, and i was scrambling to find some way to keep her interested in me. Now that it's over i'm just trying to pick up the pieces, you know? I missed a huge opportunity. She made the right choice, and that's what is upsetting me.
All you missed was drama, bullshit, and fakeness. Plus she was a teenager so that gets multiplied by alot alot alot alot alot.
Just move on, like I said, being alone is fine after a while, you get used to it, like homelessness or being blind.
Josiah Myers
Just lie that you're 22 or just never bring up your age. It's not like a relationship with an 18 year old will last anyway. If it does just say you thought she be put off. She might understand, if not just get a new girl
