Listen. I know how Jow Forums works. I'm a girl. I don't care if you think this is fake. I have no idea what to do. I couldn't ask for help anywhere else. I need the anonimity.
I've been friends with this girl since kindergarden and she's the most mature person I've ever known. She is 16 and she has two jobs and she manages to keep up with school and do volunteer work as well. She's amazing. she's also kind of wild, as in, ever since our first year of highschool she spends her weekends partying and her summers attending music festivals.
Our music teacher is the best teacher anyone could ever ask for. I mean, she's the kind of teacher that we go out with to have a coffee after school and gossip about other teachers and students. I think my friend sees her as a mother figure as her parents are kind of harsh on her(due to her two jobs and busy schedule).
Now, our music teacher has a brother. One night while my best friend was partying she recognised him in the club and they started to chat. Then she got drunk. Then the next morning she calls me and tells me that they had sex (her first time). Now I'm fucking scared as shit, thinking that he raped her, but nope. It was fucking consensual. Now they're fucking pretty often and they chat and I'm starting to fear that she's catching feelings. Keep in mind that this guy has never been with someone that young, generally girls his age (that's what he told her). She says that she feels like she's the adult in the relationship and that she's never felt like she's been taken advantage of. I don't know what to believe. But she talks to me about it like it's the most normal thing in the world, like she knows what she's doing and like they need EACHOTHER.
She can't tell anyone. I can't tell anyone. I'm so used to googling advice for when I want to help my friends but this is just too much. I'm not sure if Jow Forums was really the best choice for me, but at least now it's out in the open and off my chest. Thank you.
I dont see a reason why are you so scared. It is her life. We live in age of anticonception. As long as she doesnt get pregnant, pretty much anything she does with him doesnt have any long term consequences whatsoever.
>She says that she feels like she's the adult in the relationship and that she's never felt like she's been taken advantage of.
That’s exactly what my friend said when she was 15 and “dating” a 30 year old. She thought she loved him. She realizes now that she was taken advantage of.
>But she talks to me about it like it's the most normal thing in the world, like she knows what she's doing and like they need EACHOTHER.
Every teenager involved in a sexual relationship with an adult talks that way. Almost all of them end up changing their minds about it down the line, typically once they have children of their own. This is gross and she will realize it one day, but not now. Nothing you can do about it. I guess you could let her parents know about the relationship if they don’t already, even if you do it anonymously somehow.
Luis Morgan
I guess you're right when you say that she can do whatever she wants. This is her longest lasting relationship and she seems to be happy. When she told me i didn't want to judge her and she thought i wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. The thing that I am scared about is the aspect in which he is our teacher's brother. If it were anyone else I wouldn't be making this post. If anyone finds out, she gets expelled, our teacher gets fired and her mental health will go downhill. I can't cover for her much longer. She's on the phone with him, never has time to hang out, etc. I don't really care. We could months without talking and i'd still consider her my best friend. It's the teacher's prother part that worries me.
As for the jealousy part, I can't really figure out how you'd come to that conclusion.
Anthony Carter
Thanks for the comfort. i guess there's really nothing I could do. I wouldn't tell her parents, they were calling her a whore before her first kiss (very traditional). Now they seem to be more accepting but i don't even want to know how they'll react to this news. She'll be heartbroken, and im not a good liar. She''l know it was me.
Justin Richardson
>teacher's brother There isnt a single country where is a law about forbidding dating your teachers relatives.
>that conclusion Simple. You are single and she is not.
>16 year old at a club drunk >but we should be worried that she is going to make bad decisions It sounds like you put your friend on a pedestal and are surprised when you found out what she is really like. My friend in high school was 14 dating someone 25. They have been married for 10 years now. What you want and what your friend wants are two different things.
Hunter Nelson
16 is legal in most places. Just let her live her life and stop trying to interfere. Just say you feel uncomfortable about it and think she should break it off, but don't turn it into a scene.
Women emotionally mature at like 16 anyway, she's ready.
Tyler Hill
Maybe so. It's just that this is all new to me and whenever she talks to me about it i don't know what to tell her. I guess what i was really looking for was to just get this off my chest so i wouldn't burst
Nathan Barnes
Pretty much on point.
She's fine with it and not exactly a child, either. I personally think that it's not ok for a girl to fuck around with older guys, but what would be different he she would be 18? She is young and naive, let her make her own choices in life as well as deal with the consequences because that's how she is "designing" her life like that. I'd be more worried about alcohol at that age than fucking with a dude she already knows who's probably twice as old as her. She seems to be fine with the situation, even if she might be exploited. Who are you to interfere with her decisions?
Ethan Cox
i told her. she understands that this is wrong, but if she's happy I'm happy.
Carter Price
Then there really isn't anything else to say.
Aiden Diaz
>Who are you to interfere? I wasn't really looking to interfere. It's just hard to find advice regarding this thing
Matthew Johnson
Because there are three views on this issue.
People who think: OH GOD SHE'S UNDERAGE SHE'S BEING EXPLOITED And people who think: It's just a normal relationship there isn't anything you need to do.
And jealous guys/girls who pretend to be in the first camp.
Rationally your best bet is to simply do nothing, but support your friend in her decisions. I guarantee calling the cops will cause huge issues. Complaining to the school will cause huge issues, annoying her parents about it will cause huge issues. Just let it be, it will sort itself out in time.
Ryder Gonzalez
The who are you part maybe was a bit to harsh, it's a good thing that you worry about your friend, really. But at the same time it's really difficult to say what is right or wrong in this situation, especially since everything appears to to be with consent and doesn't do any damage to either person on a mental or physical level yet. The best thing you can do is check on how things are going and assist her if things start to go bad like relationship fights or worse, because she's actually the one in power. If the age of consent isn't 16, she can still call rape on him, at which point i'd say that you should also keep an eye out for her abusing the position she's in.
Jose Thomas
1. This man is a predator. Period. What he is doing is criminal. It is statutory rape, regardless of whether or not she consented. He's a piece of shit therefor any decision you make needs to catered to that simple fact.
2. Your friend is incredibly damaged. I don't know what father issues she's struggling with but they've manifested in the form of this relationship. She has some severe emotional issues that she needs taken care of.
3. "Supporting her decision" is ludicrous. It is your moral responsibility to protect other children from this man. If I were you I'd call the police. Even if they aren't able to arrest him for anything they would at least have a report on file so that if he does this kind of thing again they have a paper trail on him. If maintaining your relationship with her hinges on you having to be complicit with this awful, dysfunctional behavior then my advice is to part ways with her. This is not normal. This is not okay. Don't go forward acting like it is.
Isaiah Sanders
t. Angry american roasty
Easton Wilson
You don't know her character, you don't know his character and you assume a lot right of the start. Sure the law is pretty explicit, but who are we kidding, honestly. The majority of young girls fuck guys that are considered adults, it has been that way for thousands of years and people still do this in every culture, on every corner of the planet. It's an open secret and what you suggest is destroying 2 lives at once without taking into account their current life and life goals.
Not everyone who fucks around has daddy issues, not everyone who's energetic and has a thing for putting it to use is incredibly damaged. You are demonizing a man you don't know based on an account of a third party.
>This is not normal. This is not okay. Don't go forward acting like it is. It pretty much is the norm.
Easton Gonzalez
That dude was looked upon as a lowlife freak even in that time
Parker Price
Yeah, I can understand not telling. Just continue to be her friend and be there for her when this “relationship” inevitably fails or falls apart.
Hunter Turner
>I know how Jow Forums works >first sentence is I am a girl kek
Julian James
How the fuck do you get into a club at age 16?
Jaxon Hill
Your friend is human garbage and so is the thirsty fuck she's with. Tell her parents. They don't need to support an unironic whore anymore, and if she thinks she can act like an """adult""", then she can get the hell out of their life. >what you suggest is destroying 2 lives at once without taking into account their current life and life goals. Not him, but they're both degenerates and they would both deserve it.
Nicholas Wright
What's the age of consent where you live? If it's 16 then she isn't underage
